What color/race do you see?

[Poodles 0]

Recently a kid came to me and asked me to sponsor a group/dance team type thing at school. I told her I would ask around to see if I would be able to do it. (Because I am no dancer.) When I asked around, most teachers told me that usually the African American teachers sponsored that, and I wouldn't be a good fit for it. This got me to thinking.

My family has a multitude of races in it. We have one hell of a family photo album, and I really never think of it anymore. And being on the internet, I never go: "Hello, what color are you?" I know the kids know I could handle it (the race difference), or they wouldn't have asked me. Now the dance part... I don't know.

I truly hope that everyone here sees me as a hot pink Poodles, but I was wondering what everyone has come across here lately as far as race is concerned.

Do you think we are progressing as a society?

[Constance 0]

Poodles, good question! I think one of the coolest things about the internet is that you can find common ground with so many different people. Different classes, races, religious backgrounds...they all come together to surf, or chat or learn. It can be touchy at times and we have to tread lightly. But overall, I think it is the best thing for us as a culture.

In person, i.e. the real world, has much changed? Probably a little but not much. It's hard for me to know. I am totally a white-bread dork. I use 'urban slang' (which by the way, I hate how we say 'urban' when it refers to Black culture) a lot at work and I know the black girls think I'm an idiot. I say stuff like " I need a toothpick, my lunch is all up in my grill" and I sing "Ridin' Dirty" and generally pretend I'm being culturally relevant by referencing things from a world that is not my own. But who cares? Let's bust out of the stereotypes and just enjoy music and slang or movies or people -- regardless of race.

But sometimes I think, am I offending the black girls who sit next to me? Do they think I am insensitive?

Interesting story that totally relates to what you're talking about.

I work in TV and I had to produce a piece for a black audience. It is usually written very over-the-top...as in Chris Rock or old Eddie Murphy. So I went to another producer, who is Black. I saw that she produced the last piece and I asked her to look at my script and see what she thought. She was obviously annoyed. She said she was no more 'connected' to the black viewer than I was, and she was tired of being to 'go-to' person for anything selling to a Black audience.

So, yeah, I felt like a douchebag. But then I made my case that I only came to her because she was the last person to work on the project. She said 'yeah, they pretty much only give me the Black projects, it sucks".

[Constance 0]

Ok, I didn't really make much of a point. I think it is tough sometimes, to navigate in the world and be sensitive to racial and ethnic differences, and yet also be able to IGNORE those differences. When I approached that producer, I thought I was doing the good thing -- trying NOT to pretend like I was keyed in to my target audience. Turns out, that is part of what is keeping my fellow producer from working on a variety of projects -- my assumption that surely she would know what to write.

Anyway Pebbles, you seem very cool to me. I think you should totally do the dance thing! Who cares who usually does it? If you want to do it or think it would be fun, go for it.

[ralheit 0]

I don't have a problem with race for the most part. My son is Puerto Rican. But the one thing that does bother me is when people try to be something they aren't. Be yourself and be happy with it, then you don't have to worry about other people being offended. Why does everyone think that to be cool, you have to be like someone else? Cultural diversity is what this country is all about. Accept people for who and what they are. There is good and bad in all of us. But to the internet point...I think you are right. It doesn't seem to make any difference who we are talking to, I don't think I've ever even wondered what race or color anyone is when I meet them online.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

I was going to give my opinion on race relations in the USA, but then I realized that most Americans that I speak to are totally confused about race.

A coworker started to tell me a joke. He said, “There was a Jew, a Black and a Puerto Rican walking down the street...” but I stopped him and asked how many people there were?

I told you, “a Jew, a Black and a Puerto Rican”.

I said, “you described one person by his religion, one by his race and one by his land of birth. But it could be all one person.” I asked him if he remembered Sammy Davis Jr. and he said that he did. So I said, “I saw a Jew and a Black man walking down the street. How many people are there?”

He said “Two”.

“No, it was Sammy Davis Jr.” He was a Jew and a Black man.

Most Blacks that I know are part white. I know a man who everyone says is Black, but I went to his house for a party and three of his four grand-parents where white. He married a white woman and had a child, so why is that child considered Black if 7 of the 8 grand-parents are white? That thinking makes it seem like Black is a impurity spoiling the white race.

If a Puerto Rican is totally light in color they are called an Hispanic. Hispanic is not a race. If a Puerto Rican has Black skin, why is he not Black?

Then we get into the other funny one; calling Blacks Afro-American. Peter Jennings, a few months before his death was reading a story on “ABC World News Tonight” about HIV-AIDS in Africa and he said, “40,000,000 Afro-Americans have HIV-AIDS in Africa” then paused and realized that the writer was trying to say that “40,000,000 Blacks have HIV-AIDS in Africa”, so Peter Jennings corrected the line because the people in Africa are not Afro-Americans, they may be Black, but not Afro-Americans.

Think about this.

If a Black man moves from Nigeria to the USA and becomes a citizen, does his race change from Black to Afro-American at his swearing in ceremony?

Is a person from Egypt who has white skin an Afro-American if he becomes a US citizen? Is a white man from South Africa an Afro-American if he becomes a US citizen?

Yes. But they are not Black.

Let's see what people accuse me of after this post. That may give me a good idea about race relations in the USA.

[coltonwade 27]

We approached this subject in my house recently . My husband and his cousin are from around Vidor TX. Which if you know anything about that part of Texas was a VERY Racist part of TX. Were talking use to be KKK country .

My hubby's cousin was staying with us for the week and hubby said " Your going to have to watch your mouth this weekend " (he likes to use the N Word which i DO NOT ALLOW USED in my house) cousin says " WHY " I said becaues Tyler ( my 14 yr old) is having 2 of his friends spend the night.

The cousin says " AND " I said " AND You need to SHUT UP With the RACIST CRAP Around my kids , you can call it just playing or what ever you may think but YOUR RACIST weather you want to admit it or not so DO NOT SAY ONE WORD ABOUT BLACK, mexican, jewish , asian, ANY PEOPLE THIS WEEKEND PERIOD" . He pops up " Geez you act like Tyler's Friends are Black " . WELL as a MATTER OF FACT THEY ARE . BUT I did NOT Feel the need or purpose or RELEVIENCE to to tell you that. I also told him " ANd If you want to get POLITICALLY CORRECT .. They ARE African AMERICANS ... they have been in the US From Sierra Leon Africa and have seen more HORRIFIC CRAP in their live than you can even begin to DREAM OF " . My point of all this is ... 10 yrs ago my husband would NEVER of allowed his son to have an "African American " friend in his house. NOW, those 3 boys are togeter all the time. My son's friends mom works alot and they are over here before football games, we take them to games, weekends, they spend the night on week nights, and are the only one's allowed to do so . BUT my husband has changed. The cousin after being around these boys for one DAY changed ... they changed him . They are the NEATEST Children you have ever seen . Ya cant help but love them . Some say that racist people CANT Change ,,,,, the cousin , wouldnt allow HIS son to have mexican or black friends before that weekend,,,, NOW he can .

However Living in the South I DO See alot of racism . Its still around .

as for the teachers issue. ....

I would tell the other teachers " I think sponsoring the dance team is a TEACHERS responsibility and if they asked ME To do it then im going to do it" I find it interesting that statements like THAT was said to you . are not thought to be Rude or inappropriate .

HTH

Mindy

PS Sorry I rambled on a bit .

[Woodys 0]

I think we'd all be fibbing to ourselves if we said that we don't see race. Race is out there and a huge fact of life. Everything is relative (not meaning that it is right).....if you see a storefront with fruit bins outside you automatically assume it is a food store.....if you are chatting online with someone and they are using "urban" slang and lingo....the assumption would be that you were chatting with a black person. Race lends a difference in culture, appearance, etc......but, its was we make of, and do with these differences that counts....afterall, isn't it the "differences" in this world that make it go around?

I am adopted and have no idea what my heritage is. My adoptive family are from Scotland and Malta. For years in grade school I was called everything from daigo, to wop, to whatever!

Carol

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

We can pretend that we do not see race or think about race. We can pretend that race is of little importance and the big problems are solved.

In the USA, we have got to a point where certain comedians can make a certain joke, but another can not. Chris Rock makes a lot of jokes putting down certain commonly accepted ideas that Blacks are supposed to have as well as those of whites, but if Jay Leno would make the same exact jokes in a concert he would be labeled a racist.

In one of Chris Rocks' movies, he comes back to life (after Heaven has made a mistake) as an old white man. While in a store with a Black woman, he sings along to the radio and when the word "nigger" comes up, he continues singing and gets punched in the face for singing that word.

In an episode of "Girlfriends" which is a Black version of "Sex in the City", one of the 4 main characters is a girl with a white mother and Black father. Her half-sister who is all white is visiting for a party and when all the girls sing along to a song and the word "nigger" comes up, she continues singing and is told off for singing that word by the biracial half sister, who in turn gets told off by the (supposedly all Black) other cast members.

At what point can you say "nigger" ?

Is 1/2 Black enough? NO. Note even if you are not trying to pass for white.

How about 3/4 Black? Does it depend on how light you are?

Well, Bill Cosby can say the word. Recently when he criticized Black male teenagers for their dress and attitude, he caused an uproar. He is one of the few people in the USA who can make the statements that he made with only a modicum of criticism. He was criticized by some Blacks for giving whites ammunition to use against them. And it was picked up by many Republicans. I heard a Republican first quote Bill Cosby and then Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I dream of the day when little children will be judged not by the color of their skin...".

I wish people could be judged by their intent. But while Bill Cosby may be just a comedian to some, he is a de facto spokesman for the Black community and as one who knows the value of education and the need to meet some of society's rules to succeed, he was one of the few who could start a needed dialog.

[paula 4]

My husband and his cousin are from around Vidor TX. Which if you know anything about that part of Texas was a VERY Racist part of TX. Were talking use to be KKK country .

Im in LC Louisiana - and you are So right. Vidor, Tx (about 20 minutes W) is home of the KKK.

Racism is a very sad but real form of hatred in our society. I think that there are changes being made in areas, communities. But generally speaking, racism is just as BIG as ever.

Looking at the inside and NOT the outside is something that we -as overweight folks- have learned to do many years ago.

So I would assume that this particular forum would be more inclined to anti-racial/anti-prejudicism remarks before anywhere else.

btw: I have many black friends that I would claim as family BEFORE claiming my own relatives.

[leatha_g 4]

I see colors. They are a fact of life. It is my opinion that our creator created many different races for a reason. I'm not sure what that is, but as I go through life, I'm deciding it might be part of His plan for learning tolerance and acceptance.

I think this applies to all races, religions, etc, however. I happen to be a caucasian person, born in Texas, raised in central and western Texas. I have since moved to a larger, more ethnically diverse city and I have since traveled throughout the US and seen and got to know far more cultures and diversities. These are things I would never have been exposed to in smalltown west Texas.

I have also seen the difference in educational opportunites, socio-economic levels, values etc of the different regions in the places I've visited. I can attest to the fact that certain regions are far more developed and motivated and integrated in their daily living. Others remain unmotivated, uneducated and therefore fall into (often by choice, sometimes by fate) stereotypical roles. Attitudes and behaviors are either perpetuated or changed. This has to do with values, determination and motivation, no matter one's race.

I see racisim all over and not just towards one race. I see many blacks who are gracious, beautiful, regal people who love God and who have risen against what they may have began with or what someone else may have told them they could never have. I also see many who spew hatred and racism amongst themselves and toward other races as an extremely unbecoming habit. Unfortunately, this gets passed down from generation to generation and certainly doesn't help in the melding process anymore than racism which might have been held against them or their ancestors. This is a tragedy, because truly, it has become reverse racism. Thankfully, it's not everywhere. I love my black friends and I have been taught so many beautiful lessons by them and how grace can overcome adversity and they give me hope and make me a better person.

I can honestly say I was raised in a racist family. I grew up thinking I would never allow such ignorance in my own home. My children never knew there was a difference in other races, except that God made us a different color and yes, we did have different cultural values. My kids never even knew the 'N' word and they were never taught hatred toward different sexual preferences either. These things they learned about and questioned because they encountered them outside the home as they grew up. They have since made their own moral decisions on how they will react to these things.

Bottom line with me. I value a person by his integrity and his behavior. No matter the color of his skin or the country of his heritage. If he wears his pants down around his ankles (and whites do this too), I'm not going to be very impressed by him. If he uses vulgar and hateful language in public, without regard to those around him. I'm not going to be very impressed. If he appears to have no self-respect or respect for others. I probably won't have much respect for him. I may pity him and I have learned to try to understand from where his anger and self loathing may come. I may stop for one second and ask God to bless him, but in the end, it is his responsibility to better himself, not mine, whether he's black, brown, purple or white.

[coltonwade 27]

my husband grew up in a very racist family . Not only racist but they are ignorant and uneducated. I agree that everyone probably see's race or color. Everyone I think that is except Children. I do not think Children see color until they get older and someone points it out to them .

My parents were some that I would never really consider racist or prejuidice .

I had a roomate that was black. Not only was he black he was a COWBOY . In Texas walking into a Country Bar as a White Woman with a black man is NOT the norm or from what I found the safest thing to do sometimes. I can not tell you how many times i got into fist fights with people over that. One time my roommate and I were at a Rodeo and I was standing there talking to him and he had his arm around me ... My dad walked by said hi and moved on . When I saw him later that week he said to me " MINDY I didnt apprecaite walking by and seeing my daughter with a black mans arm around her , what if someone I knew saw you what would that look like " And he LIKED My roommate. I truely was FLOORED . I thought my dad was not like that. But I guess when it came to his daughter it was a different story which is SAD. Being around my roommate alot was really the first time I really experience, witnessed racism on that kind of personal Level and its UGLY ... I hate it and I do NOT Want my children to think that of people.

I dont allow that talk in my house and my husband is MUCH MUCH more tolerant and less judgemental of people now because of his son ...

Children have the right idea sometimes DESPITE their parents lol

Mindy

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

I

Looking at the inside and NOT the outside is something that we -as overweight folks- have learned to do many years ago.

So I would assume that this particular forum would be more inclined to anti-racial/anti-prejudicism remarks before anywhere else.

If you have not seen it yet, may I recommend that you rent the DVD of the Oscar winning movie "Crash".

One of its main points is that people who are discriminated against are no less likely to discriminate against other people.

[coltonwade 27]

If you have not seen it yet, may I recommend that you rent the DVD of the Oscar winning movie "Crash".

One of its main points is that people who are discriminated against are no less likely to discriminate against other people.

I keep meaning to rent that . I saw the cast on Oprah and wanted to see the Movie after that I just kept forgetting.

Thanks for reminding me TOM .

Mindy

[leatha_g 4]

Crash is an awesome movie. Very powerful food for thought.

[paula 4]

TOM - we own that particular movie... just have never seen it. Maybe tonight?

Leatha - as always, you say what I feel inside, or what I wanted to say.

I see colors. They are a fact of life. It is my opinion that our creator created many different races for a reason. I'm not sure what that is, but as I go through life, I'm deciding it might be part of His plan for learning tolerance and acceptance...........

I value a person by his integrity and his behavior. No matter the color of his skin or the country of his heritage.

:amen: