I haven't been on here alot lately, I've been really depressed. I have alot going on at home and it's been almost more than I can take. I've let myself fall completely off track. Looking at some of my past posts,,I seen it coming but didn't really try to do anything about it. I am in therapy and I take anti depressants and anxiety meds..this has been something I've struggled with for years. It got worse when my parents were killed in an accident. I need to lay it all out there so I can get as much feedback from yall as I can. I'm willing to even hear the negative or get fussed at..I don't care. Just let me have it. I've quit using myfitnesspal, I'm eating everything I shouldn't eat and drinking sodas. I had 2 full slices of pizza..thick crust within half hour, not taking my vitamins regularly, not drinking my water and not getting in my protein as well as slacking with exercise. I'm a complete mess and I'm just trying to get my head around why I can't stay on track. I haven't gained any weight, I'm still losing but I know it's not the way the plan is supposed to work..and it's just a matter of time before my sleeve gives up on me. I think I may have stretched my sleeve a little..or alot and was wondering if it's too late for me? Can I get back some of the restriction I once had? I know there are varied opinions as to whether you can stretch the sleeve but in the beginning I could only eat 1/2 piece of thin crust pizza,,now I can eat 1-2 full slices with thick crust. I know something is very wrong..and I've done this to myself and I feel really ashamed and disappointed in me. Can I shrink my sleeve back and start over? I know it's probably a silly question but I really don't know. For all of you who have said..I ate a burger or pizza,,is that ok? No, it's not ok..I do know this..I've just lost control.

Big hugs. Don't be so hard on yourself. You hit a rough patch just get back up on the saddle again and go back to the original diet and I'm sure things will get better. I to have depression/anxiety/panic. It can be rough but I just sit and remember I'm not perfect no one really is. Big hugs...

Well, it's obvious that you're headlong into depression. You just have to find another to let out your frustrations. You said you've stopped exercising and that's probably one of the worst things you can do since physical activity is shown to elevate mood.

In terms of sleeve stretching, I wouldn't know. But I will say that before the sleeve, whenever I would go on a diet and lose a significant amount of weight, there was a period where my stomach could hold less until I broke past that point and stopped being mindful about my eating. If it is not possible to shrink the stomach, I do believe it is possible to train your body to be satisfied with less.

I also think it would be beneficial with you to connect with your surgeon to discuss the physiological aspects of what may be happening with you.

I'm sorry you are having so many problems right now and wish you well in resolving them. As for shrinking a sleeve, what about a little restart? I know technically we do not have pouches but take a look at the following link. It's something bypass patients use to sort of jump start weight loss again.

http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html

Very sorry to hear about your parents. I really hope you are in grief therapy. Start by taking baby steps back. Set small realistic goals for yourslef. Number one could be stopping the soda. We have all heard how the carbination treats your stomach like a balloon that you blow up, let the air out, blow up, let the air out. Eventually the balloon does not go back to its size.

Please remember your parents would not want this state of uncomfotableness for you, why would you want less for yourself?

Well, I'm pretty good at being hard on people, but that really is only needed to wake up someone that has fallen asleep at the wheel. You on the others hand seem to be well aware of what is going on, you just need to decide when you've had enough. Once you've decided that, then you've got to be willing to put the work in to get back on track.

The great news is that your body is an amazing thing. IF you have stretched your sleeve your can shrink it back to its normal size. Keep in mind it's normal size is bigger than it was at 6-8 months post op. you fully healed sleeve could be as much as 10oz.

Now here's the hard part, in order for your sleeve to shrink, you cannot fill it up. You are going to have to go back to basics, a liquid/soft diet for a couple weeks isn't a bad idea, but for sure you are going to have to measure/weigh your portions. Keep your portions @ or below 6oz at a sitting when you are eating. This is not such a big deal with liquids(as I'm sure you already know).

There is really no point in us beating up on you. You need to talk to that woman that watches you brush your teeth and ask her if she has had enough yet, is she willing to do what it takes to fix her problems. I am truly sorry for all the heartache and setbacks you've endured. But the bottom line is there is only one person that can make this happen for you.

Today you need to decide to live like no one else, so that later you can LIVE like NO ONE else.

You can do this. You've done it, and you know what to do. It isn't too late, and you can still get back to the habits you need to have. Get back on MyFitnessPal and track, eat Protein first, etc.

What does your therapist say? Are you being treated for your food issues at all? Do you have a therapist who has experience in working with food issues?

I'm so sorry to hear about your parents.

(Hugs!)

It's tough when you lose control of your own life. This is the one thing that you can work to control. If you had surgery in the town you live in see if the office has a support group, if not look online to see if you can find one in your area or someone that you can meet with face to face to help you along. My fitness pal is a great tool and so is this site but having support around you that are living a similar life can really help.

Good luck I have faith that you can get yourself back on track. You have made the a breakthrough already by realizing what your doing.

I wish I knew the words to say to make it all better. I'm not sleeved yet but my best friend died in August. I never knew that grief can make you physically sick. I've gonna from not eating to eating everything. I no longer go to the gym but its because I feel exhausted. I'm getting better though and hopefully by the time I get a date I will be better. I will be praying that God grants you peace as you deal with your loss.

I am sorry about your parents. Even in the midst of despair your sleeve is still working for you - we are all glad you reached out and you have what it takes to get back on trAck. Keep checking in with us - OTR is good about keeping us all in line:). Praying you find comfort.

Well' date=' I'm pretty good at being hard on people, but that really is only needed to wake up someone that has fallen asleep at the wheel. You on the others hand seem to be well aware of what is going on, you just need to decide when you've had enough. Once you've decided that, then you've got to be willing to put the work in to get back on track.

The great news is that your body is an amazing thing. IF you have stretched your sleeve you can shrink it back to its normal size. Keep in mind it's normal size is bigger than it was at 6-8 months post op. you fully healed sleeve could be as much as 10oz.

Now here's the hard part, in order for your sleeve to shrink, you cannot fill it up. You are going to have to go back to basics, a liquid/soft diet for a couple weeks isn't a bad idea, but for sure you are going to have to measure/weigh your portions. Keep your portions @ or below 6oz at a sitting when you are eating. This is not such a big deal with liquids(as I'm sure you already know).

There is really no point in us beating up on you. You need to talk to that woman that watches you brush your teeth and ask her if she has had enough yet, is she willing to do what it takes to fix her problems. I am truly sorry for all the heartache and setbacks you've endured. But the bottom line is there is only one person that can make this happen for you is you.

Today you need to decide to live like no one else, so that later you can LIVE like NO ONE else.[/quote']

Great post and good advise.

Well, I'm pretty good at being hard on people, but that really is only needed to wake up someone that has fallen asleep at the wheel. You on the others hand seem to be well aware of what is going on, you just need to decide when you've had enough. Once you've decided that, then you've got to be willing to put the work in to get back on track.

The great news is that your body is an amazing thing. IF you have stretched your sleeve you can shrink it back to its normal size. Keep in mind it's normal size is bigger than it was at 6-8 months post op. you fully healed sleeve could be as much as 10oz.

Now here's the hard part, in order for your sleeve to shrink, you cannot fill it up. You are going to have to go back to basics, a liquid/soft diet for a couple weeks isn't a bad idea, but for sure you are going to have to measure/weigh your portions. Keep your portions @ or below 6oz at a sitting when you are eating. This is not such a big deal with liquids(as I'm sure you already know).

There is really no point in us beating up on you. You need to talk to that woman that watches you brush your teeth and ask her if she has had enough yet, is she willing to do what it takes to fix her problems. I am truly sorry for all the heartache and setbacks you've endured. But the bottom line is there is only one person that can make this happen for you is you.

Today you need to decide to live like no one else, so that later you can LIVE like NO ONE else.

Through tears,,I'm just thinking,,I wish I had a love button on this thing because your response is so perfect. Thank you, OTR.

Peacequeen,

I wondered where you went. Suddenly we were missing your posts. I'm sorry that things are rough right now. Death is never easy nor is there such a thing as 'closure.' Oh, I do hate that word. I've lost many people close to me. I can tell you that your pain lessens, and your heart finds a place to put that pain, but darned if it doesn't come out at the damnedest times! Time is not really a huge factor, grief is the same. Months or years from the event.

But, besides that, you said other things were going on. Can you tackle one problem at a time? Compartmentalize?

My surgeon told me that you have to eat to excess for about a year to permanently stretch your sleeve.

While you were gone someone started a post on MFP. Many people added their names to befriend each other. Maybe adding lots of new friends would help you?

To kick you when you are down is cruel, so i hope that nobody here gives you a lecture. You made that first crucial step by reaching out. Start taking things one day at a time and don't look at the big picture yet.

Gentle hugs,

Judy

Thank you, everyone for the outpouring of warm wishes for me. I really do appreciate it and needed to hear positive words of encouragement. My parents passing has been a while but was one of the events in my life that really set off my depression and anxiety. So I have been in consistent therapy since then for that issue as well as every other issue I've faced including my eating disorder. I know it has had lingering effects on me and I have just taken it one day at a time (as the song goes) to help get through it. I wonder sometimes if I made the right choice of surgery considering my mental stability,,not that I'm crazy but just the ups and downs that come with dep. and anx. I failed my first psych eval but passed the second,,not sure I was completely honest in the second one because I wanted the surgery so bad. I do love my sleeve and not sure I could go through with bypass. I think my sleeve is doing what it's supposed to but I think I'm abusing it right now. Each one of you have given very good advice. I'm going to try going back to the basics (again) and I know I definitely need exercise. I haven't just been lying around, I do keep busy but I know it's not the same as putting effort in to break a sweat and get that heart rate pumping. I see my therapist today,,and yes he has experience working with people with eating disorders. He sees several other patients who have had wls so he's really familiar with the process and what goes along with it..but there's only so much he can do. I know it's up to me to actually follow through with the suggestions he makes and work on the game plan he has set forth for me. I'm really going to try harder, I agree that a support group of some sort would probably benefit me. Going to look into that right away. Thank you all again.