I am 2 months out today, and when I weighed this morning I was so elated because I'm down 40 lbs from my pre-surgery weight. Unfortunately my elation didn't last for long. ;(

I am a private person, so I haven't told anyone at work that I had WLS. When people say something about my weight loss I cringe and stumble through the whole, "I'm working really hard, under a DRs & NUTs care, no carb, low fat, no sugar, blah, blah, blah" schpiel. I hate addressing people's curiosity, and because 2 other ladies in my office had WLS in the last few years, I'm sure that some people are digging for info. I usually manage to brush these encounters off, but today was different.

So this morning as I'm rocking a brand new size 8 pair of jeans...down from a 16-TYVM...I go to the break room to cook my egg whites that I'm getting so damn sick of having for Breakfast, and a friendly colleague of mine says, "Girl, you are wasting away right before my eyes". I say, "I'm getting there." She then proceeds to tell me that she is so glad I didn't take the easy way out like the other two did!!!! I am dumbfounded, and trying to gracefully and tactfully get myself out of this conversation, but I honestly wanted to cry. I told her that I didn't think there was an easy way out with weight loss. She said, "yeah, I know, but taking the easy way out is sad and it really shows that you have no self control."

I was devastated, and I've been in a funk ever since. I know without a shadow of a doubt that she would have never said that if she knew...that makes me so sad. It also makes me sad to think that someone I admire in my professional life would be so condemning of an issue she obviously has never struggled with. I felt dirty and cheap and like a coward for not coming clean and telling her, "My dear, I had WLS and it is not the easy way out." Instead I just let her walk away thinking I'm this goddess of self control and that I have done this all by myself. Ughhh, I'm so mad at myself.

I have worked my ass off to get to this point and I've invested a TON of money in making sure my future is as healthy and happy as it can possibly be, because there are people in my life that I adore and I want to see 30,000 more sunsets with them. I have never fought for something so hard in my whole entire life.

I didn't take the easy way out. The easy way out would have been to do nothing. The easy way out would have me giving into every craving and eating grotesque amounts of food just because I can. The easy way out would have been to continue to get fatter and fatter, and sicker and sicker and to die way before my time.

Sorry, I just had to come here where y'all would understand. Today hurt, and it discouraged me and it sucked. Thankfully, tomorrow is a new day...and I'm going to be one step closer to my goal.

Sorry, but I couldn't disagree with you more. I am human, and I'm occasionally affected by negative & judgemental attitudes, I think most people are. As I said before, I've done well not to let others opinion of WLS get to me, but today was a particularly rough day. I'm glad you have enough confidence to not let others attitudes get to you, but unfortunately an emotionally abusive past makes it difficult for me to be bullet proof 100% of the time.

Why the secrecy? Today is a perfect example of why I chose not to share my journey with others. I thought it was safe to do so here, but I guess I was wrong.

You aren't wrong. You can do it here! I'm only 12 days out at this point. I want those size 8's. These first 12 days haven't been all peaches and cream. I don't expect the rest of the road to the size 8's are going to be any easier.

CONGRATULATIONS on your HARD work, your HARD decision and those beautiful size 8's! Keep on keeping on! YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I am in the minority here but... Maybe your co worker was trying to pay you a compliment - did she use the wrong words? Maybe. Does she know how difficult this life style is? Probably not. I just think that maybe we tend to judge people harshly. I would have probably done the same thing you did - stand there and wish you could have found the best words to say - hey I am a weight loss overcomer - thanks to new technology skilled surgeons and self restraint:) not up mention a pocket full of cash..... - anyway, don't hold it against her - "father, forgive them for they know not what they've done" - easy for me to say right?

Congratulations on a job well done!

I am so sorry this co-worker did this to you.....I too have not told many people about my surgery....when I first started considering this procedure, EVERYONE I spoke to about it was against it, said I didn't need it, that I was "ok"....but I wasn't ok. Due to a vicious sexual assault that led to several rounds of steroids and other meds, and months of comfort eating I gained over 55 pounds in less than a year and even though I am 5"7, 180 with a BMI of 28, I could see in less than another year I would be 300 pounds and I had NO control over so many things in my life, including what I was putting in my mouth. Even people on here slammed me with outrage that I was considering it....I ended up deleting the post asking for help and advise about it prior to even contacting a surgeon. I talked to my counselor about it and I told her what I was thinking about, she told me that right now anything that helped me gain any type of control in any area of my life was understandable. She could not say it was ok in her mind, but she was behind my decision. So I chose not to tell anyone except a few people..... I needed support, emotionally, mentally and physically and this is HARD. Yes, it would have been much easier to get out and work out but emotionally I was not and I'm still ready to be out alone, not to mention the surgery I needed on my shoulders from the attack.... I have had one done and will have surgery on my other shoulder in January...thank goodness!! Anyone who thinks this or any other surgery is EASY have not and never will stand in our shoes. You just remember in your heart and head that you have done what you needed and wanted to do to save your life and try to let the hurt she has caused you go. The hurt you feel right now will never bother her in any way....it will only make you sad, so try to forgive ignorance and find comfort in your size 8 jeans and celebrate your new life, body and soul. I'm 14 days out today and have no idea what I've lost, I've decided not to weigh until I'm 3 months out!! Continued success and you just keep going girlfriend!! And before long you'll be in size 6 jeans!!! YAY!!!

You are so much nicer than I would have been... about the point she shot of her mouth, I would have spun on my heels and let her have it with both barrels with a finger in her chest, knowing me... I hate rude behavior and I won't abide it. Not only was she disrespecting YOU, she was disrespecting those others and that just shows how small and shallow she is...

F that B word!

By the way, I'm about to share the best comeback of all time!!

Ready?

No matter what anyone says to you, say this, "Don't be jealous" and walk away.

Just hold your head up and walk away.

I have to respond to people who think you should tell everyone. I did not take "weeks off of work" - I took 4 days off. Not too unusual. I have lost some weight but because I am not that heavy to begin with my weight loss is not "shocking" nor is it that noticeable. Only one person has mentioned it - but she didn't even ask me how I lost weight, just that my face looks thinner.

I am not ready to share with the world how I am managing my medical condition - and I probably never will. I have not misinformed anyone but to be honest, no one has asked me anything.

I am sensitive, always have been. The comment of taking the easy way out would have ruined my week. It is a nice thought not to let others get you down but that doesn't work for everyone.

I am sorry your co-worker hurt your feelings. Just stay on task and keep working toward your goal.

I have to respond to people who think you should tell everyone. I did not take "weeks off of work" - I took 4 days off. Not too unusual. I have lost some weight but because I am not that heavy to begin with my weight loss is not "shocking" nor is it that noticeable. Only one person has mentioned it - but she didn't even ask me how I lost weight' date=' just that my face looks thinner.

I am not ready to share with the world how I am managing my medical condition - and I probably never will. I have not misinformed anyone but to be honest, no one has asked me anything.

I am sensitive, always have been. The comment of taking the easy way out would have ruined my week. It is a nice thought not to let others get you down but that doesn't work for everyone.

I am sorry your co-worker hurt your feelings. Just stay on task and keep working toward your goal.[/quote']

I could have written this post. I too only had 4 days off. I came back from surgery and nobody asked where I had been. I have only lost about 18 lbs in 5 weeks, certainly not shocking to anyone. In fact, nobody has even noticed.

This past weekend I was at a BBQ, nobody commented on my plate (small portions of protein).

I think it will be very possible to live a nice full life without sharing my medical history with anyone other than those closest to me.

I have to respond to people who think you should tell everyone. I did not take "weeks off of work" - I took 4 days off. Not too unusual. I have lost some weight but because I am not that heavy to begin with my weight loss is not "shocking" nor is it that noticeable. Only one person has mentioned it - but she didn't even ask me how I lost weight, just that my face looks thinner.

I am not ready to share with the world how I am managing my medical condition - and I probably never will. I have not misinformed anyone but to be honest, no one has asked me anything.

I am sensitive, always have been. The comment of taking the easy way out would have ruined my week. It is a nice thought not to let others get you down but that doesn't work for everyone.

I am sorry your co-worker hurt your feelings. Just stay on task and keep working toward your goal.

Thank you so much for the encouragement! Your words could have been mine-they closely describe how I feel about my journey. A drug addict isn't expected to share their recovery with their co-workers, and I feel like my recovery should be the same.

Good luck to you in your journey.

I could have written this post. I too only had 4 days off. I came back from surgery and nobody asked where I had been. I have only lost about 18 lbs in 5 weeks, certainly not shocking to anyone. In fact, nobody has even noticed.

This past weekend I was at a BBQ, nobody commented on my plate (small portions of protein).

I think it will be very possible to live a nice full life without sharing my medical history with anyone other than those closest to me.

Yes, it's totally doable. I have eaten with several and no one has asked about my portions. I'm getting great at moving food around! .

I have to respond to people who think you should tell everyone. I did not take "weeks off of work" - I took 4 days off. Not too unusual. I have lost some weight but because I am not that heavy to begin with my weight loss is not "shocking" nor is it that noticeable. Only one person has mentioned it - but she didn't even ask me how I lost weight, just that my face looks thinner.

I am not ready to share with the world how I am managing my medical condition - and I probably never will. I have not misinformed anyone but to be honest, no one has asked me anything.

I am sensitive, always have been. The comment of taking the easy way out would have ruined my week. It is a nice thought not to let others get you down but that doesn't work for everyone.

I am sorry your co-worker hurt your feelings. Just stay on task and keep working toward your goal.

I had my surgery over Labor Day weekend so I only ended up taking 2 days off work: Thursday before surgery to fly to Mexico & Tuesday afterward. I have less to lose than some, 70-80, but my issues are very real to me. I have struggled for more than 10 years to lose weight and not gain it right back plus 10# every time. I don't feel this was easy at all. The decision to do this was one of the hardest I've ever made, although I have no regrets I don't plan on telling anyone about my personal decision. However, I chose to add this weapon to my arsenol and I refuse to let anyone tell me that wls is easy or disparage anyone who chooses it. I just refuse to listen to anyone who belittles anyone else, whether its about weight ot looks or whatever. It's just not cool. Keep your head up! She obviously has issues of her own, bless her heart!

Sorry, but I couldn't disagree with you more. I am human, and I'm occasionally affected by negative & judgemental attitudes, I think most people are. As I said before, I've done well not to let others opinion of WLS get to me, but today was a particularly rough day. I'm glad you have enough confidence to not let others attitudes get to you, but unfortunately an emotionally abusive past makes it difficult for me to be bullet proof 100% of the time.

Why the secrecy? Today is a perfect example of why I chose not to share my journey with others. I thought it was safe to do so here, but I guess I was wrong.

Good lord, no one said it wasn't safe to post your feelings here. If constantly being the victim works well for you then enjoy BUT when you post on a public board, people are going to comment. Not everyone is going to post with unicorns and rainbows, some people are just more direct.

I still stand by my comment that only you (we, us however you prefer) can give someone the power to hurt feelings to that level. I am no more confident than you and my past is probably as bad if not worse than yours but at some point we have to stop allowing people such power over us. That was and will always be my point here.

I'm sorry you had that experience and totally understand why it would affect you. I was not telling people (except my family and closest friends) because I was afraid of that.. but then about a week AFTER I had the surgery I decided screw it I'll just tell people. I felt like it was a great opportunity to educate people about WLS and the sleeve. I am a nurse and I'm amazed how little my fellow nurses know about WLS. Anyway I've been telling anyone that asks and I don't feel like I have anything to be ashamed of and if anyone at work (or anywhere else) wants to judge me because I did this I don't really care LOL This was NOT the easy way out even though so far I've had an easy recovery and am not hungry and no complications and am losing pretty good. The head hunger can be a b!tch tho LOL

I DO, however, understand that this approach is NOT for everyone. There are good reasons to keep it private if that is what you are comfortable with.

I did not even tell my family, only my husband knows. When I had talked about getting the lap band my mom had a lot to say about it, I realized I could not go thru the negativity of others views, this was a hard enough decision, without that too. When I was ready I decided not to tell anyone, esp since I decided to get sleeved. This is not the easy way out, it's difficult. You sit down to eat something good and a couple of bites and you're done. I was raised in the clean your plate home and go for seconds. Food was how I coped with everything, now I have to learn to face things and work it out without that crutch. I had to get a loan to pay for this, insurance would not cover it. Thankfully my husband has been very supportive. I really don't think all my "skinny friends" would understand how hard this life long battle has been. Or how embarrassing it is to lose and regain the same weight over and over! I also hate the way people either want to tell you how you should diet OR try to get you to eat this just this once ( only it's all the time). So as far as everyone knows, I am on yet another diet. And that's about all I can handle right now, ESP since I find it hard to believe I even did this or that it's really gonna work! I am 5 weeks out, 28 lbs down and still do not believe this will work. I still can't wrap my head around this. I do however find this site very helpful.

I am sure that hurt you. I guess am I am a little more mean spirited because I would have looked at her and flat asked her what made her think that it is the "easy way out"? And I would have asked her if she was speaking from experience? I would have turned it right back at her for being judgmental toward others...but then again...I have a little mean streak in me that comes out occasionally ...especially toward people who are ignorant on things they think they know when they don't have a clue what the heck they are talking about. Anyway..I pick and choose who I tell. It's no one's business what we do and how we do it. Keep on rocking those size 8 jeans. I wonder if its a hint of envy that is coming out to rear it's ugly, green head in regards to your coworker. Maybe...maybe not. You could always say" tell me, state name here, would you be so willing to have this topic of conversation if the two people you are referring to were present in this conversation"? That usually shuts down any negative conversation very quickly. And if not, well then she is just judgmental and I'll say it again...you just can't fix ugly...know what I mean? Keep up the great work!

No one has said this to me, but I almost wish they would cos I would LOOOOVE to ask someone right to their face, "Leaving aside whether this is actually easy or not, which by the way you have zero knowledge about -- why should I not have taken the easy way out?" I'd love to deconstruct any explanations they could come up with for WHY I DON'T DESERVE TO TAKE GOOD AND EFFECTIVE CARE OF MY BODY. Cos I can tell you, the 'rationale' against the 'easy way out' is full of judgment about fat people deserving to be fat and thus having to be punished by working like dogs to get the weight off. They should SUFFER cos they have committed the sin of being fat.

LOL. Riiiiigghht. I'm SO never going to believe a word of that. Bring it on, haters -- I will uncover your judgey ways and leave you with nary a rhetorical leg to stand on, and nowhere to hide your prejudiced ways. I'm good at arguing on the spot, though.