Broke Down And Wept

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Yesterday I started getting really bad panic attacks and started to cry. Neither condition subsided all day long. I felt so a lone for the first time. No one I personally know is having this surgery or about to. I was struck with fear at the thought that no one would really truly understand what I am about to do or understand all the changes I have made in preparation of the surgery.

I have a good support group around me. But all of a sudden I wondered what I was thinking doing this to myself.

I have been having the "bring it on" attitude for months and all of a sudden fear has hit and hit hard. Wed. I go for my last pre-op appointment. I will get my surgery date then.

I have wanted this so badly and have waited almost 4 years for it. I have changed a lot of my bad habits and have put a lot of efforts into researching and trying to be as knowledgeable as I can.....It is getting close now and the idea of spending 2 weeks on liquid Protein before the surgery scares the living daylights out of me.........

Has anyone felt this way, or feel this way.....I will be going forward with the choice of the sleeve......but the adrenaline rush about the entire experience has now disappeared....

Should I worry about this?

[Jolie_KeMi 345]

I think you are just getting cold feet. I don't know anyone who has had this surgery ether, but I come on this site very often for support. This forum has been a weight loss tool in addition to my VSG. See you can find a "buddy" on here that you can either meet up with or someone who is similar in age, weight, and has a surgery date close to yours. It's remarkable what and who you can find here.

There will be days you feel like this, or worse, post surgery but you can do this! Keep believing in yourself.

[chris54 106]

Dont worry it is natural to have all kinds of feelings. You know this is the right thing for you. Take a deep breath, trust God and move forward. Really people are not going to understand totally. They probley did not understand you fat either. Dare to dream this is your new life embrace it. The people in your life will support you no matter what. Good luck god bless. I will be prayin and following your progress.

[LaBelle509 326]

I felt that way too!! don't worry, you are not alone. I still have moments when I feel alone in this journey. My husband can eat everything in sight and not gained a pound. We met as teenagers. He still wears shirts from when we first met. He has been real supportive. But he has no clue what it means to struggle with weight loss/gain.

I was driving and all of the sudden I just thought "what if this does not work?" I lost it!!! pulled over and cried for minutes. I had other episodes of self doubt and fear. Fear of failing, not making it, complications ect. But I went through a lot to get ready for the surgery ( doctor's appointments, labs, tests, seminars, getting my money ready) I was not about to walk away from it. I felt comfortable with my surgeon and the education that I received so I pushed forward.

After surgery I had moments when the old fears will surfaced and shake me to the core. But I am so glad I went through with it.

[Finding MeMe 204]

Hang in there and the surgery will work. What you are feeling is normal and I hope that your surgery is successful.

[liz32 20]

I'm getting close to my sleeve date (10/29) and I feel the same way. I find my emotions range form lets do this to what am I thinking and everything in between. You are not alone.

[IsaacsGram 58]

You are definitely not alone on here! I had my last pre-op appointment and I start my liquid pre-op diet Tuesday, when I got out to my car after my appt I just cried and cried. I think it was just a feeling of disappointment in myself for getting to this point-where I needed surgery to "fix it". I have always excelled at things in life-except in my weight, I just feel like a failure. BUT I plan on focusing on the positive, and look forward to getting the old "me" back! Keep your eye on the prize!

[GeauxForIt 659]

I've been prone to crying fits ever since my last surgeon's appt. I've been waiting a week for insurance approval and besides being completely consumed and preoccupied with that, I've been on a crazy rollercoaster of emotions; from excitement to anger to profound sadness.

Some days I'm ready to "kick a$$ and take names" thinking I've got this and looking forward to the changes and other days I completely lack the confidence that I'll ever change and fear that I'll just end up fat again after a couple of years and then I'll be fat AND humiliated.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

You guys are wonderful...I can relate to all of you and your comments....it is nice to know that I am not alone here....and that others are having the same emotions..My hubby is the same..a bean pole, misses a meal and loses 10lbs...I am a perfectionist and failed at this.....it is unbelievable that I could not do this on my own..I am sure I have lost hundreds of pounds over the years......and yet here I am going to do this ....I know it is for all the right reasons...but I just feel bad that I had to take this step...and TY for reminding me that it will work........awesome support...ty for taking the time to talk to me...I really needed your help!

[CoolBreeze 154]

You are never alone when you have VST. This is a site that knew I was going to need support after my VSG (I wished I could've discovered it a looooong time ago). I felt like I had to have this surgery because I was too weak mentally, emotionally to lose weight on my own. Then thought why not ask for help, there's nothing wrong with asking for help. Then when I got the help I kept going back & forth as to whether or not I should do this. Crying, angry, crying, doubtful in my ability, mad. The psychological side of the pre-op was indeed for me, and I am still seeing a therapist and don't mind telling it. I needed help, I got help and now I'm on my way to being the best possible healthy me in quite a number of years. I am proud of ME.

Hang in there, the VSG will help you to see that this was and is the best thing you can do for YOU.

KEEP THE FAITH. DON'T LET NOBODY GET YOU DOWN!!! You can do it. VST is right for you.

[Rootman 1,101]

Yep, been there done that and I'm an old man. My big break down came post-op, I was in a hotel room leaving the next day and just started howling and carrying on, I could not help myself, had a few minor episodes after that but nothing like that one.

Talk it over with your loved ones too, it usually helps. remember it's YOUR decision.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Sleeve master, you look like a completely different person...wow..you must be very proud of yourself.....51 you say..I guess I am an old lady then as I am older then you.......it is nice to know that everyone has a moment or two of complete break downs.....makes me feel like I am well on my way...

Guru....your words were very comforting as well..I have been through all the therapy and now it is up to me to change me..at least that is what they said...so here I go....ready or not....TY all again!