Am I Wrong? :/

[jennapenn 5]

First of all I want to say how unbelievably supportive everyone on here is. No matter what I think I am going through alone I can get on here and realize I'm not!!!

Secondly, have any of you noticed how people whom you have told about the surgery judge extremely harshly? My immediate family whom I love very much and have actually been supportive throughout the whole thing have started judging me.

A few days ago it was my 21st birthday so of course I went out and ha a few drinks, I didn't get drunk or sick or anything just had a few and now they keep telling how if I'm goingto be that irresponsible then it was pointless to get the surgery... Keep in mind I had surgery July 9 (almost 2 months out) and down 45 lbs!!! I feel great and I'm sticking to everything just have had some drinks.... Low calorie ones at that!!! I just don't understand how they can think they know my new stomach more then I do....

Have any of you experienced anything like this? I just don't know how to talk to them and get them to understand.

[samsmom 54]

Prior to surgery, I had decided to tell as least amount of people as possible. My hubby, daughter, 2 very close girlfriends and 2 coworkers knew. Well, one of the coworkers blabbed my secret (altho i continued to deny it and said I had hernia surgery) but I started hearing all kinds of negative comments about wls and how people shouldnt have it, etc. The reason I didnt tell any of my siblings is becuz I didnt want to be watched & criticized on how much I put on my plate or "are you suppose to eat that", etc.

I was told in one of the group meetings prior to surgery, that you should only surround yourself with positive & supportive people who want to be on this journey with you. So that was when I decided who to tell/not tell.

Hang in there!

[DivaK 55]

I think they judge so harshly because they don't know any better. I had my surgery on July 2nd and tried to drink a maragarita but after two or three sips I was totally gone...so needless to say I have decided to let it go...LOL! Now that did not stop my weight loss and I am still losing. I may actually be hitting a stall but I will get back on my exercise this week. Good luck and don't worry your sleeve will not fail you behind a drink...LOL!

[notime 340]

They seem to be concerned about you and your health and with good reason. NIH has sponsored a large study of weight loss surgery and alcoholism. The results are that people who have weight loss surgery are 50% more likely to be alcoholics than they were before surgery. The results were particularly bad for younger people. The increase is startling to me.

Presumably, your drinking this time was a one-off, but it doesn't hurt to be aware of the dangers.

http://www.nih.gov/n...12/niddk-18.htm

[CNTWT2BMINIME 78]

Many people aren't good with "tact" when they are trying to express their concern. Maybe your family feels "tough love" is the best for you. That being said, it's still important you communicate to them "respectfully" that you appreciate their concern for you but it is YOUR responsibility to decide what goes in your body and YOU are the one who has to figure out what is ok and what is not ok for YOU.

I haven't faced this scenerio yet but I have been thinking about how I will respond when the day comes. Hang in there.

[Ijam75 102]

First of all I want to say how unbelievably supportive everyone on here is. No matter what I think I am going through alone I can get on here and realize I'm not!!!

Secondly, have any of you noticed how people whom you have told about the surgery judge extremely harshly? My immediate family whom I love very much and have actually been supportive throughout the whole thing have started judging me.

A few days ago it was my 21st birthday so of course I went out and ha a few drinks, I didn't get drunk or sick or anything just had a few and now they keep telling how if I'm goingto be that irresponsible then it was pointless to get the surgery... Keep in mind I had surgery July 9 (almost 2 months out) and down 45 lbs!!! I feel great and I'm sticking to everything just have had some drinks.... Low calorie ones at that!!! I just don't understand how they can think they know my new stomach more then I do....

Have any of you experienced anything like this? I just don't know how to talk to them and get them to understand.

how long did ur doc tell you to wait before drinking?

[LouiseC 1,029]

They seem to be concerned about you and your health and with good reason. NIH has sponsored a large study of weight loss surgery and alcoholism. The results are that people who have weight loss surgery are 50% more likely to be alcoholics than they were before surgery. The results were particularly bad for younger people. The increase is startling to me.

Presumably' date=' your drinking this time was a one-off, but it doesn't hurt to be aware of the dangers.

http://www.nih.gov/n...12/niddk-18.htm

You have misread the article. It does not say that people who have weight loss surgery are 50% more likely to be alcoholics than they were before surgery. It says that prior to surgery 7% of patients showed signs of alcohol use disorder and one year later there was no change in this number. However two years after surgery that number had increased to 10%.

The study was of mostly RNY and lap band patients. The sleeve isn't mentioned. Those with RNY metabolise alcohol differently than the sleeve.

[mjrevel 101]

I may feel different than most, but I told everyone. I lived with shame of gaining weight and being over weight for so long. I will not feel bad for making an educated decision that I explored for three years to help myself have a better life. Sure, I had a few friends who didn't understand until I explained the everyday things that I go through. They didn't know I have to wear spanks everyday:( cant go shopping with them because I need a speciatly store. Can't pick something up off the floor, have to ask for seatbelt extenders, that I can't sit in statium seating. I also told them that I would get fast food before dinner with them so they would not know how much I really eat. My friends became very supportive and my biggest cheerleaders after they knew the whole story, they want what's best for me, they just didn't really understand how much I was hiding for years. I don't know if you have done that are if your ready but I made the decision to have my surgery and come out with all of my weight issues and I feel like a huge weight of another kind was lifted. Best of luck, everyone needs a cheerleader!

[notime 340]

You have misread the article. It does not say that people who have weight loss surgery are 50% more likely to be alcoholics than they were before surgery. It says that prior to surgery 7% of patients showed signs of alcohol use disorder and one year later there was no change in this number. However two years after surgery that number had increased to 10%.

The study was of mostly RNY and lap band patients. The sleeve isn't mentioned. Those with RNY metabolise alcohol differently than the sleeve.

Actually, I didn't read the study wrong.

Per the study: "a relative increase of more than 50 percent compared to pre-surgical rates." Ten percent is roughly 50 percent greater than 7 percent. Also, the study defines alcohol use disorder as alcoholism.

Yes, the study involved RNY and lap band participants. However, several factors tie it to sleeve patients. The study authors and other doctors suggested that the reasons WLS patients may turn to alcohol could be that they are tired of strict rules about what they eat and drink or that they may develop new social lives that include drinking after losing large amounts of weight. Another reason suggested is that extremely obese people lose some of their tolerance for alcohol consumption when they lose weight. Every one of these potential causes is the same for the sleeve as they are for RNY. Not one of the suggested reasons is related to the difference in surgical procedures for RNY vs. sleeve.

The important thing is that we all be aware of these results so that we have information to consider it we choose to.

[LouiseC 1,029]

Actually' date=' I didn't read the study wrong.

Per the study: "a relative increase of more than 50 percent compared to pre-surgical rates." Ten percent is roughly 50 percent greater than 7 percent. Also, the study defines alcohol use disorder as alcoholism.

[/quote']

Exactly! You may not have read it wrong but the actual article that you quote here is vastly different from your earlier claim that 50% of WLS patients are more likely to develop alcoholism.

In fact it is 10%, and of that 10%, it is estimated that 7% had AUD prior to the surgery.

Scaremongering helps no one.

[notime 340]

jannapenn, I am sorry for having turned the discussion to something you were not asking about. Of course, we all need support from those close to us and many of us have been exposed to some people who are not supportive . The question is: does being supportive mean they can't sometimes offer an opinion different than yours?

[notime 340]

Exactly! You may not have read it wrong but the actual article that you quote here is vastly different from your earlier claim that 50% of WLS patients are more likely to develop alcoholism.

In fact it is 10%, and of that 10%, it is estimated that 7% had AUD prior to the surgery.

Scaremongering helps no one.

I am sorry but I wrote, " 50% more likely to be alcoholics than they were before surgery." That is correct and does not mean that 50% of weight loss patients become alcoholics. Sorry if it could be interpreted the way you did.

[Cookeeeeez 269]

Ok, enough, I'm on here to avoid my sociology statistics class!!! There's a forum for crossover addiction studies for this thing.

The opening poster is only 21! She has probably given up a lot of her youth to obesity, having a social drink with friends seems ok, although I probably wouldn't only because even sips of alcohol give me anxiety issues...

I agree with mjrevel, sometimes this concern is false but sometimes it comes from a genuine place but they don't know the suffering. Out of the blue my sister got breast implants. I was terrified for her safety and mental health but when she explained her situation I understood better.

I hope jennapenn had a happy birthday and her healing is going well and pray her friends are genuine and come to understand her right to choose what she does with her body

[swizzly 901]

In fact it is 10%, and of that 10%, it is estimated that 7% had AUD prior to the surgery.

Scaremongering helps no one.

I couldn't agree more. The fact is, the hypotheses they are making about lifestyle changes and so-called transfer addictions (even if they don't use those terms, I can't recall now -- I read that study a couple of weeks ago, but didn't re-read it today) from WLS patients in general are IMO entirely unsupported empirically at this point. The only evidence regarding the increase in alcohol abuse is the mechanical/physical change in bypass patients, where they absolutely metabolise alcohol differently than a non-bypassed person and this is very relevant to alcohol issues. I have not seen any convincing evidence yet that restriction-only procedures (ie, sleeve, band) lead to increased alcoholism (or drug abuse, etc.) in any significant way. I'm open to the evidence when they produce it, but I've just not seen it yet. The idea that newly thin people go off the 'deep end' and party too much and turn into big sluts is just as much a stereotype, IMO, as the stereotypes we've all had projected on us about being fat, lazy, dumb, etc.

All that said, to the OP -- I think it's fine that you celebrated your 21st, happy belated b-day to you. I also first had a drink a month or two post-op (had to drink some champagne for a friend's birthday, oy bubbles on top of it LOL). I drink wine at least once or twice a week usually and I haven't had any problems with that. It's a personal choice, I think -- and unless there are health issues or addiction problems, it's not a 'wrong' personal choice.

I chose to tell VERY few people about my surgery cos I don't like people knowing my personal business. That said, even if people did know about it, I wouldn't try to explain much or 'convince' them about it. That's often a waste of time. I'm fine for them to have their opinions, their perspective isn't relevant to my life most of the time, so I just keep the conversation polite and the topic brief. What other people think about me is none of my business anyhow...

[Izuri 428]

I think you're completely right, but I also think that your family is probably scared/caring about you in a way that comes out annoying. I know when I was younger and on diets whenever I would eat something bad my mom would ask me if I should be eating it. She would also comment on portion size, types of food, sitting around too much, etc. It drove me nuts, and we would fight about it sometimes. Now that I'm older, I know that although she didn't go about it a way that would get through to me well, that she really did care and was concerned.

Since I've gotten the sleeve she has been incredibly supportive and rather than critique my food (Which she couldn't really do anyway since I'm eating really healthy) she will try and prepare foods that I can eat that have a lot of taste. I much prefer this to the old style =)

But I digress from the point, and that's that your family is being harsh, and probably not realizing how harsh it really is. I would try and brush it off - it was your 21st birthday and it sounds like you didn't go overboard or anything. If it keeps bothering you maybe sit them down and really tell them how you feel. That you wanna be successful and you're not planning on downing a kegger by yourself, but you also were allowed and able to enjoy a glass or two of alcohol while still being a responsible sleever.