Failure?

[MustangAli 9]

I had surgery on 2/22/10. I lost 60lbs. 40lbs before hand so a total of 100. But, I started slipping up, and drinking and eating anything I want. I am now passed the 18 month window of losing the most weight. I am trying all these crash diets hoping to get back on track. Nothing seems to work. I am on day 3 now of no drinking. Trying to vut out carbs again. Feeling sad mostly cause I feel little restriction. I know I have stretched my sleeve. I still cant eat like I could Pre-op, but I definitely do not eat like someone who has had 80% of her stomach removed. I feel I am going into these diets a huge failure. I had surgery just to still have the same issues I did before? I try to look on the bright side...little regain...I am 100lbs lighter...with the love of my life...did some great things that I would have never done at 300 lbs (becoming an EMT, Cutting my hair, going after the man I wanted)

but still....have I failed?

I just need some words of encouragement for those who have time. Not looking for sympathy cause I know whose fault it is that I am here, and she doesnt deserve sympathy. Anyone in my boat? If not - STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOAT. IT F**KING SUCKS.

[lollyfidy1965 402]

Ali....unlike many who "fail" after WLS, you have the grace to say "this is all my fault." Do you realize how much strength it takes to do that?? Particularly in such a public forum?? I'm not sure I would be able to do the same. (Oh, I would place all the blame squarely on myself, but I doubt I'd wave that flag publicly!)

If you're strong enough to do that, surely you're strong enough to get yourself back on track...right? If you don't feel up to the task on your own (even with the support of the love of your life), reach out to the program that performed your surgery. I'm sure your surgeon and nutritionist would be thrilled to see you getting seriously back on the right path...and that they would be more than willing to help you rediscover the road to success! Do whatever you need to do in order to make it happen...its NEVER too late to get it right!! (It might be more challenging, but it will never be impossible!)

I wish you great success, and peace of mind, as you continue on your amazing journey!

Laura

[sk8lady 5]

Hi Ali,

I am in your boat!! I was sleeved in March 2011. Lost about 18 pounds before surgery and have only managed to take off another 42. I have been on a total stall since last September. That only gave me 6 months of good weight loss. I "only" have about 30 more pounds to lose and I will be completely at goal but I CAN'T GET THE FREAKING scale TO MOVE THE RIGHT WAY. And like you, I know exactly who to blame. I still cannot each a lot at each meal, but I must be doing something wrong to have the scale come to a halt like it has.

Should I be exercising more? YES

Should I be eating more balanced meals? PROBABLY

Am I having a hard time doing both of the above? Definitely!

I go to my monthly support groups and listen to others and the struggles they have. But I also see the successes and I know that I'm not as successful as I would have hoped.

I have no desire to eat meat....I could live on Chobani yogurt for 3 meals a day. I live on Protein shakes, Protein Bars, and yogurt. I try try try to eat beef and chicken and don't have any real trouble with it except that I get no satisfaction from it. I can do fruit as well but I know there is no Protein in it.

I'm happy to hear that I am not alone out there and would love to do what I can to help you get back on track. Maybe we can help each other!!

sk8lady

[IsB 209]

Instead of crash diets why not try a local WLS support group? Or, maybe see a nutritionist to get a refresher on the basics. It's amazing how much we can forget when we aren't constantly forced into doing things. The sleeve is just 1 tool. That doesn't mean you don't need to use the others.

[DDUKES 9]

OMG!! I swear you just wrote EVERYTHING that I've been going through!!! I most DEFINITELY can say I know how you feel and what you are going through. I was sleeved 06/29/10. I weighed the heaviest before surgery at 331 pounds...and I lost in a year a total of 102 pounds.......I have NOW gained back 35 to 40 pounds and I am miserable!!! I don't know which way to turn. I've tried meetings, crash diets just to get me back in the swing and nothing is working.

What I realize though is that it's all mental. I've been trying to get myself to go back to that mindset and discipline that I had to do everything right with the surgery,because I was so afraid of messing things up. That is the ONLY way (in my opinion) that we can get back on track. I am so willing to help you if you help me and we can be a support system. Anything to help.

You are not out here alone...believe that. I am looking for answers just like you. Someone to please help. But if I can be of any encouragement on those hard days I will definitely be that, because I understand where you are.

[DDUKES 9]

Does anyone know how we can get access to those shakes and puddings that we had to eat in pre-op?? I would love to just start back there again....

[FishingNurse 1,210]

You are not a failure! Are you where you want to be completely? No. Nobody really ever is. I'm not!! I say you keep working at it-- thats the best you can do. Don't get down on yourself-- YOU ARE 100 POUNDS LIGHTER! that to me is amazing. Just keep trying. Most importantly do what makes you happy. Good luck and keep us posted.

[lollyfidy1965 402]

Does anyone know how we can get access to those shakes and puddings that we had to eat in pre-op?? I would love to just start back there again....

You can try Vitamin Shoppe....they have LOTS of high-protein, sugar-free products, and can even provide a list of products that are appropriate specifically for WLS customers. (You'll have to ask a manager...and keep asking until you find someone who knows what you're talking about.) You can also google something like "bariatric surgery foods" (or something along those lines)...I'm sure you'll find lots of websites offering appropriate products.

[Gastricsleeve4me 186]

You might try googling "5 day pouch test" as a place to start to get back on track

[Sleeved&Hopeful 182]

Ok, this reminds me of a post I read on a low carb forum I belong to. Of course you haven't regained weight yet and that is a blessing. You can prevent that weight regain before it actually happens by acknowledging you have been making bad choices. The post I read today on the low carb forum was about a lady who had RNY gastric bypass. She lost 120 lbs and by 3 years out she had gained 80 lbs back. She went back on a Protein first/low carb program and lost the regain PLUS an extra 30 lbs! She has kept it off for 5 years!!! She started using her tool appropriately and has done very well It CAN be done. It just requires a lot of diligence in saying no to the easy sliders and sweets. IT CAN BE DONE

[aceves_soon 12]

I had surgery on 2/22/10. I lost 60lbs. 40lbs before hand so a total of 100. But, I started slipping up, and drinking and eating anything I want. I am now passed the 18 month window of losing the most weight. I am trying all these crash diets hoping to get back on track. Nothing seems to work. I am on day 3 now of no drinking. Trying to vut out carbs again. Feeling sad mostly cause I feel little restriction. I know I have stretched my sleeve. I still cant eat like I could Pre-op, but I definitely do not eat like someone who has had 80% of her stomach removed. I feel I am going into these diets a huge failure. I had surgery just to still have the same issues I did before? I try to look on the bright side...little regain...I am 100lbs lighter...with the love of my life...did some great things that I would have never done at 300 lbs (becoming an EMT, Cutting my hair, going after the man I wanted)

but still....have I failed?

I just need some words of encouragement for those who have time. Not looking for sympathy cause I know whose fault it is that I am here, and she doesnt deserve sympathy. Anyone in my boat? If not - STAY AWAY FROM THIS BOAT. IT F**KING SUCKS.

i am also a failure i guess, if we can call ourselves that. my surgery date was similar to yours and now i gained back 60 pounds in 4 months i was supposed to be resleeved a month ago, i rescheduled for private reasons to september 16th, getting resleeved with dr aceves.

[FishingNurse 1,210]

i am also a failure i guess, if we can call ourselves that. my surgery date was similar to yours and now i gained back 60 pounds in 4 months i was supposed to be resleeved a month ago, i rescheduled for private reasons to september 16th, getting resleeved with dr aceves.

Re-sleeved? do you mean make your stomach smaller again? or will you be having the DS?

[clk 3,519]

There is NO window of best weight loss with this surgery. Guess what? You still have a sleeve and 85% of your stomach is gone. You still have restriction, if you eat the right foods in the right order.

There is absolutely no reason that you can't start over from scratch and make this work for you. It's entirely your choice. You didn't have a brief window of guaranteed malabsorption as with the bypass. Your sleeve is the same now as it was roughly one year out, because the work and effort (and pain) it would take to stretch it any serious amount would be ridiculous. I mean that - you may have stretched it an ounce or two, but there is no way it's giving more than that. And what's an ounce or two in the long haul? Not enough to sidetrack you forever.

So, you've lost 100 pounds AND KEPT THEM OFF and cannot possibly consider yourself a failure. If you want to lose more, work at it, because you can do it.

Do the five day pouch test. It's a bypass thing but the detox works for us, too. It'll be tough and you'll hate it, but if you get through it, and then start over with the basics you can do this. Track every single bite you put in your mouth, even those drinks. If you don't have a realistic picture of what you're eating, how can you expect to keep it under control? If you can't do the pouch test (I'm not judging, it'd be hard for me at this point, too) simply record your diet as it is now for three days, and adjust your calories downward again by 20%, eating in a good ratio (I do 40% Protein, 30% carbs, 30% fat) and within two weeks, you should have kick started your loss again. Once the loss stops, adjust downward again. And you know you should be eating dense Protein first, then your healthy carbs, right? I guarantee that if you try to scarf six ounces of steak you'll have a problem. You've still got restriction, you've just to work with it, not against it.

Do that headwork - do it or you'll always have trouble with this. Talk to a counselor or come here and vent, but do something. Get a handle on when and why you eat and try to learn better habits. Find a new emotional outlet and coping mechanism. Find a way to do things in moderation. If you approached your loss as a diet, strictly cutting calories and carbs down to nothing, it's unsurprising if you then fell off the wagon in a hard way. Isn't that what we all did prior to surgery? The sleeve isn't a diet. It is possible to eat a variety of foods, to never feel deprived, and to eat those perfect food choices 90% of the time and do whatever the hell you want with the other 10% and lose weight, and maintain that loss.

Right now you're probably addicted to carbs...and food, eating in general. You've gotten back into bad habits. But even though it will be tough, you CAN pick this up and get to your goal. I fell "off" a few times during my journey and had to pick back up again. It's normal, until we learn that we really can have it all if we're smart about it.

And really, congrats to you - you have lost 100 pounds and are in a great relationship with someone you love. You have no reason to consider yourself a failure, or to beat yourself up because you haven't achieved goal yet.

Good luck,

~Cheri

[chitowngirl 884]

Hello ladies, all I can suggest is getting back to basics. First try Little miss divas boot camp, then go back to tracking calories and Protein, use my fitness pal, at least make yourself accountable for your food choices and there is no better way to do it than mfp. Good luck to all.

[Catracks 865]

What everyone else said - with emphasis that there is no magical window for weight loss and you are anything but a failure.

I have 30 pounds to go and it's bit SLOW and full of stalls with me eating correctly. You can get back on tack. i know you can!