I have only told my family and two friends (not even my Bff's) about the surgery. And I think part of me was thinking I could have it done and lose weight without anyone really asking questions. Now that I am 3 weeks out and already down 20 lbs since surgery (31 total) I know people are going to start asking. So my question is what do say to people that you don't necessarily want to know that had surgery???

I told ppl i was dieting for 2 months before i had surgery, and that i had lost weight, but was getting really frustrated that it wasn't showing yet. After surgery when i did lose 50 lbs over 4 months, they thought it was six. I also told them i'd lost 40 lbs, so if they did the math it wasn't as alarming. 1 yr later, still at goal, still only my family knows, no regrets. No one even suspects as far as i know. I told them i was eating a high protein low carb diet with smaller portions. Now, when eating in public, no one notices my smaller portions and leftovers on my plate, if they do, i just say something like, i wasn't very hungry, or i have heartburn. Honestly, ppl do not pay attention to details.

I have told anyone who will listen about this surgery. Someone shared with me when she had it and that's how I really knew about it. I am so thankful that she did. Since my surgery I have 2 cousins and a good friend at church that have also had it in large part to my telling them about it.

Just tell them "diet and exercise".

Honestly, I was conflicted about telling people, but about two weeks after surgery I put it out on Facebook and let the whole world know. I've had a 99.999% positive response- it's no real secret I was a dieting failure so I saw no reason to lie about it. I did this for me and no one else, so I could care less what anyone thinks about it.

I've gotten to the point where I'm so tired of explaining my weight loss to people that I just say, "Diet and exercise," or "My gym membership is really paying off!" Then it's fun to watch them gnash their teeth.

I've also told people I don't like, "My genetic resequencing is finally kicking in!" It confuses them into speechlessness most of the time. Or, "I was asked to try an experimental new weightloss drug called Yuradoofus."

I didn't keep my surgery a secret. I told all of my family, friends and co-workers. The reason I didn't keep it a secret is that I have known several morbidly obese woman who have told me through the years that they were huge their entire lives. Then, all of a sudden, they become skinny within a year and keep it off. I feel they had to have done a form of surgery because to struggle your entire life and then to claim to lost it all in a year or less and keep it off seems suspicious. I just wanted it out in the open because I feel there is no shame involved. Getting a sleeve is just a tool I needed to help me.

I keep it simple when people wanna know what I'm doing to lose weight and I don't want to tell them about my surgery. I simply say: "I'm eating less and exercising more". I haven't had anyone day anything else about how I did it after I said that.

I don't feel the need to keep it a secret. I'm not ashamed that I got surgery. In fact I've had a couple of people come back around and ask me MORE about it once I had it done because they've known for a while that I was researching it. I have yet to be met with negativity. And if I do - I wouldn't care. They aren't in my shoes. They haven't lived my life. And I don't need their approval. The people who matter to me have been nothing but supportive.

I hate secrets so I told everyone who mattered or asked. My personal integrity is more important than a nay sayer's negative comments. Now that I am a year out about, I find myself talking about eating healthy and smaller portion sizes. I don't find any need to talk about my sleeve, because they really don't want to hear about it anyways. This has been a change for me. When eating out, which I do a lot, I take the left overs home or better yet, I'm ordering side orders and am done with it. I actually eat a child's portion size now. Everyone has to make his/her own decision on whether to share or not. It's really no one else's business.

I know people are going to start asking. So my question is what do say to people that you don't necessarily want to know that had surgery???

Easy. I say "I am dieting".

If they want specifics, I just tell them I am under strict doctor's supervision. If they want even more detail, I say it boils down to calorie restriction.

Most people quickly catch on that I am not on a fad diet I got from a recent best seller and they stop asking questions.

Most people seem to expect you to name a recent fad (ie: 'I'm on the cabbage soup diet' or I'm on the sauteed sawdust diet') and when you don't mention a specific diet by name, they quickly lose interest. Nobody wants to hear about restricting calories and following doctor's orders.

I got no real answer here, just an observation. A few years ago I lost 120 pounds the hard way. At the time I called it "diet and exercise", but what I was really doing was starving myself, and I could not maintain it....but that's another story. Anyway, people would always comment on the weightloss, and then immediately follow up with the inevitable question, "how did you do it?" I think they really want to hear some solution that they had not thought of or heard about. When I said "diet and exercise," 9 times out of 10 I could see a wave of disappointment come over their faces. As if to say, "oh, that....to hard."

Now when people ask me, I tell them I had gastric sleeve surgery, and I get a myriad of looks from shock, surprise, bewilderment, confusion, curiosity and hope. What I never get is disappointment. I find it funny. Some people really want to know more about it, some people already have their mind made up. And some end up walking away scratching their heads. I always end up smiling to myself thinking, "you asked."

I'm pre-op but I have thought about this as well. Basically I'm a pathetic liar. I stutter, pause, look guilty.... I just can't lie -- everybody would know I was lying and then I would feel stupid because they know I'm lying! LOL

I lost 160lbs on my own doing low carb and when people congratulated me and said oh my God you must be so proud of yourself, I was embarrassed because deep down I really wasn't "proud" of myself. I looked at it as something that I should have never had to do. In my mind I was just correcting a horrible embarrassing mistake. I didn't want grown adults to have to be "proud" of me for being morbidly obese and then losing weight. I may not be making sense....

Anyway, I think I will have to just tell the truth -- I wish I could lie but trust me, everybody could see it on my face immediately!

Dana

In a way, I kind of put it back on the asker ...

"You know, we Americans live in such a super-sized world of huge portions that I finally made a change to eat smaller portions. I got rid of all my dinner plates (true) and bought nice salad plates and that is what I use. I eat about 1/4 what I used to. I'm also getting exercise 4 to 5 times per week. Sometimes running, doing elliptical, swimming ..."

The response is usually, "That is such a good idea! I need to get rid of my plates and go with smaller portions, too."

... and that is about the extent of the conversation about my weight. I never lie or mislead. It is the absolute truth.

Like another poster, I've been completely open regarding the process, putting everything...from the first visit with my surgeon, to changes to my diet/exercise pre-surgery, to progress made since my surgery...out on Facebook. My friends and family have been amazingly supportive, and I've learned, by sharing my own story, that several of my close friends had some form of WLS themselves, but weren't comfortable about sharing their story until they learned I'd done the same. I've found most people are very curious about the procedure, and the diet stages afterwards. And everyone is amazed at the weight loss!! I guess I feel like its my opportunity to help educate people regarding WLS...in the hopes of eliminating some of the stigma that still seems to be attached to it. This is not an "easy way out," and I didn't get surgery because I was "too lazy to do it the old fashioned way." I eat less (WAY less), and work harder (at the gym) than I have in my entire life....its definitely HARD work, to have WLS, and be successful afterwards!!!

I think I want VST business cards with my Screen name on them so I can just hand them to people that ask. That way I can just hand them one & say this will explain everything.

I guess that means I would have to finish filling out my profile though.

Look, I normally don't like to lie either. But I do get tired of people's inappropriate curiosity. And I really don't see the difference between lying and prevarication ("I've changed my eating habits" or "I've started exercising" without mentioning surgery). Look up prevarication in a thesaurus: it's synonymous with lying. And a lie of omission is still a lie.

Additionally, I don't think it's about integrity. I think it's about not being anyone's business. You can't claim you have integrity because you don't think you're lying when instead you obfuscate or circumvent the truth. And if you think you avoid abandoning your integrity by not mentioning the surgery when asked about your weight loss, then your understanding of integrity is woefully misinformed. You can't abandon your integrity when it becomes inconvenient or it ceases to be integrity.

It's also not about negative comments or nay sayers. It's about what I'm comfortable sharing with people. I couldn't give a fig about what other people think. But I'm not comfortable telling everyone I meet that I just had surgery. As mentioned earlier by others, not everyone wants to hear about surgery in polite conversation. And I don't think this surgery is for everyone, so I'm not going to preach about it.