Years ago..my ex grandmother in law (who was really mean to me) bought me 2 pair of underwear for Christmas,,she's dead now. They looked really small so in front of everyone she held them up and said "yall think these will fit Karen? Yeah they'll fit,,see??" Then she stretched them beyond recognition to show everyone that my fat butt would fit those bloomers. Besides the fact she did this in front of 75 family members..some of my ex's cousins were kids my age that I went to school with. I was humiliated and it affected me for years. It probably wouldn't have bothered me so much now but back then I was so insecure and self consious about my weight..it was so embarrassing. I could see others were embarrassed for me and even commented to me about how bad they felt for me,,which made me feel worse. I just wanted it to be over and bury my head somewhere. I wanted to post this so I can get over it..anyone else have a really sucky moment?

Just a couple of months ago I was walking out of a store as these two guys in their 20's (I'm 31) were walking in. As we crossed paths one of the guys wasn't paying attention and bumped into me' date=' then he turned and said "ahhh I'm sorry, don't eat me!" I was there shopping for a bathing suit because we were going to the beach for my sons birthday the next day. I didn't want to and I hadn't been in years, but I somehow had myself believing that I didn't look "that bad" in the suit I picked out. But after that happened, I wanted to hide in my room like usual. It gets worse. So, the next day we go to the beach with my boyfriend and son because that's what my son wanted to do for his bday. I put on my fat lady bathing suit and had a good time. When I got home, later that evening I caught my boyfriend jerking off to pictures and videos of girls in bikinis. So I guess I thought we had good family time at the beach but he was really just staring at hot young skinny chicks and couldn't wait to get home and take care of himself. Then he told me that maybe if I went to the gym occasionally, he wouldn't need to look at porn. Of course it's ok that he is chubby, because the same rules don't apply to men.[/quote']

OMG!!!! I would have kicked his ass and tossed his **** to the curb!!!! That is just freaking sick and he should be ashamed!!!! Jesus was watching as well!!!! Tell him I said he is a freaking looser!!!!

One of my most humiliating moments was with my ex my daughter's father. First let me say this he is of the most charming and supportive mates I've had. I must admit he is the standard. However, several time he alowed his need to be funny take over. We where at his aunts house and a mouse ran across the floor and scared me. In front of his family he commented "well you know what they say, elephants are scared of mice" and everyone laughed so hard. I played it off but my feelings where really hurt.

A few years ago I worked for my dad who is a doctor. My mom also worked for him. I was only 130lbs at the time but for my height which is 4'9 I wasn't skinny nor was I fat. I had aspirations of becoming a pharmaceutical sales woman and one day I was asking a drug rep what I needed to do. My mom turned around in front of a waiting room full of patients and an office full of staff and said' date=' " you will never get hired by a drug company because they don't hire fat people. " the whole office went silent and I just about wanted to die. She's a very cruel person.[/quote']

Not ever ok,....ever! Sorry, {hugs}

Reading these stories, am reminded of how nasty humans can be. Obesity is one of those "things" that people feel they can comment on without recourse. Race, sexuality and weight were always topics that were openly targeted. We've (seemingly) reached a higher degree of sensitivity with regard to race. In the last couple of years, gay men and women have begun to (again, seemingly) enjoy basic human rights without the disgust often associated with them. But if you're 'heavy' 'overweight', or god forbid, 'obese'...there is no safe haven. People honestly feel it is their RIGHT to comment at-will on YOUR body!

I will not be a hypocrite and say I have not silently commented on someone bigger than myself (misery loves company), but I would NEVER openly poke fun, criticize or comment to their face! It is astounding how mean and calculated some family can be. Anyone who would demean another at a family gathering (or anywhere) are dirtbags. Plain and simple. UGH! This topic makes my blood boil!

Now, to answer your initial question: As a train commuter, I am ALWAYS aware of my seating options. If there are only spots left in a 2-seater, I will opt to stand...possibly an entire hour, rather than risk offending someone if I dare to go over the line by even a centimeter.

I will use these stories as motivation.

One of my most humiliating moments was with my ex my daughter's father. First let me say this he is of the most charming and supportive mates I've had. I must admit he is the standard. However, several time he alowed his need to be funny take over. We where at his aunts house and a mouse ran across the floor and scared me. In front of his family he commented "well you know what they say, elephants are scared of mice" and everyone laughed so hard. I played it off but my feelings where really hurt.

EVERYONE LAUGHED SO HARD??? WTF??This is NOT okay!!!

One of my most humiliating moments was with my ex my daughter's father. First let me say this he is of the most charming and supportive mates I've had. I must admit he is the standard. However' date=' several time he alowed his need to be funny take over. We where at his aunts house and a mouse ran across the floor and scared me. In front of his family he commented "well you know what they say, elephants are scared of mice" and everyone laughed so hard. I played it off but my feelings where really hurt.[/quote']

NOT FUNNY! O would have stormed out with the car and left him to fend for himself.

My most humiliating moment has to be the day I had to ask for a seat belt extender on an airplane. I was on a work trip and sitting close to 5 of my co-workers. They were all very sympathetic but their pity made me feel worse. So embarrassing! Ugh...never again!

I had to ask for the seat belt extension in February on the way to Vegas for a friend's 40th birthday trip. I was so embarrassed. I finally have everything ready to go for surgery just waiting on insurance!

Most humiliating fat moment for me: Last September, my Counseling Division at the community college where I work, was required to do Stryker Chair training. Stryker Chairs are the ones used in an emergency to get people down stairs. We all stood there listening to the trainers and then one person, whom I thought was a kind person prior to this, looked directly at me, then the trainer and said, "If someone is . . . too heavy, do we even have to try to take them down the stairs? I mean, let's just say for example, if Deann (that's me) is injured, how am I supposed to get her on the chair?" I has mortified -- I was standing there with my Boss and co-workers and I'm sure this person expressed the thoughts that others were thinking, but to be called out like that was simply humiliating. My reaction was, "I hereby absolve you all of the responsibility of taking me down the stairs."

Maybe it's my defense mechanism, but I remember my "fat" moments with humor.

A friend of mine was having a going away party at a restaurant. We were sitting on the patio in those plastic chairs. Her son and I were playing and he was jumping in and out of my arms. Suddenly, the chair colapsed and I was sitting on the floor between the arms of the chair. What's funny? The people nearby doing their best not to laugh. Got it, we broke the chair. Can't change that. Got another chair and kept playing. But, I laughed at them trying not to laugh at me!

Sometimes, people are not being mean, but unintentionally insensitive. Headed toward an elevator that had been waiting. As i stepped on, the time delay buzzer went off, and this short old guy said "you may be a bit too much, big guy!" I WANTED TO SIT ON HIM! But, he was an old fart. I'm sure he had his own issues! Probably just changed his diaper.

Years ago..my ex grandmother in law (who was really mean to me) bought me 2 pair of underwear for Christmas,,she's dead now. They looked really small so in front of everyone she held them up and said "yall think these will fit Karen? Yeah they'll fit,,see??" Then she stretched them beyond recognition to show everyone that my fat butt would fit those bloomers. Besides the fact she did this in front of 75 family members..some of my ex's cousins were kids my age that I went to school with. I was humiliated and it affected me for years. It probably wouldn't have bothered me so much now but back then I was so insecure and self consious about my weight..it was so embarrassing. I could see others were embarrassed for me and even commented to me about how bad they felt for me,,which made me feel worse. I just wanted it to be over and bury my head somewhere. I wanted to post this so I can get over it..anyone else have a really sucky moment?

You are just the sweetest lady... and yes getting moments like this out will help one step at a time. I've had some pretty embarrassing moments, but I don't think any quite like that.

The only one I can really think of was one day my BFF and I were travelling to our favorite mall. We used to take the busses and lightrails to get there. It was always an all day thing and it was a moment to forget who were were and where we came from. We were both quite large.

One day we were sitting at the bus stop on our way to go back. Some mean girls took some fake pearls and threw them at us. Called us "fat b*****s" and they drove off down the street. Broad daylight and very busy street, people all around... that was one very embarrassing moment.

Another was at Great America at Santa Clara. We all went with our Church Youth Group. Well we all split up and really I'm so thankful for that because I got in line to ride one of the roller coasters. I sat in the seat but I couldn't get the safety bar to latch. The guide came by to see if he could do it but my stomach as just too large. I had to exit the ride. No one there who witnessed it knew who I was because the few friends I was with caught the train before mine, but I could hear everyone whispering and some girl said " Oh wow, I'm so embarrassed for her ". I wanted to die right then and there.

Those are moments I will never forget. Those are moments I'll keep locked away in my memory bank to remind myself WHY I never want to get back to being the old me.

I haven't allowed myself the opportunity to have a moment such as these. Once I realized I was too fat I stopped hanging out with any of my friends or doing the holidays or family functions out of embarrassment.

In the past 15 years I've missed family and friends weddings, graduations, family reunions, the funerals of 3 different friends, a cousin, one of my favorite uncles, and my grandfather. Worst of all, if I wasn't such a fat ass, I could have probably been there to prevent the suicide of my best friend instead of hiding in the house hoping not to be seen by anyone out of fear of what they might think or say. For that I'll never forgive myself.

I also missed seeing a friend for the last time before he took his own life. These are moments you can't get back. I'm glad we are no longer hiding.

The one that stands out in my mind the most isn't really mine, but it was one of the most potent inspirations for me to get my own weight under control before it became too much.

My dad was over 400 pounds most of my life. In the last two years of his life, he was in and out of the hospital. Because of his weight, he put an extra burden on already overworked nurses, and they did not always respond well. Many were downright rude because of it.

For instance, routine procedures required several nurses because of his size. Once when I was visiting, a nurse yelled at me because I refused to help turn him over. It was my dad, and he wasn't dressed under the blankets, and there was no way I was going to put myself in a position to see his privates.

One of the most humiliating for me (and I wasn't there to see it) was in the days just before my dad died, an ambulance was called to my parents house. My dad was very ill, and the ambulance crew couldn't get him out of the house. They had to call volunteer firefighters in to help get him out of the house and in the ambulance.

It took 10 people to slide my dad along on some sort of tarp out of the house and into the ambulance. My dad was nude when this happened.

It hurts me to imagine someone I really respected being reduced to that kind of humiliation. It also upset me because his weight was such a huge barrier to him getting timely treatment for a life-threatening problem.

I get angry sometimes because I wish my dad had done more about his weight, so he would still be here with me. He planned for his death almost my entire life because he was well aware his size would limit his lifespan. I wish he'd planned for living.

Maybe it's my defense mechanism, but I remember my "fat" moments with humor.

A friend of mine was having a going away party at a restaurant. We were sitting on the patio in those plastic chairs. Her son and I were playing and he was jumping in and out of my arms. Suddenly, the chair colapsed and I was sitting on the floor between the arms of the chair. What's funny? The people nearby doing their best not to laugh. Got it, we broke the chair. Can't change that. Got another chair and kept playing. But, I laughed at them trying not to laugh at me!

Sometimes, people are not being mean, but unintentionally insensitive. Headed toward an elevator that had been waiting. As i stepped on, the time delay buzzer went off, and this short old guy said "you may be a bit too much, big guy!" I WANTED TO SIT ON HIM! But, he was an old fart. I'm sure he had his own issues! Probably just changed his diaper.

You totally crack me up! I think for the most part, I deal with hurtful things with humor.

Get this: I have a friend who is shooting a miniseries. He has open casting calls and asked my daughter and I to show up. I've been involved with the project since the beginning. There are some very talented and very pretty people working on this. I am an introvert to boot. They are very kind people, but I am aware that I am not so very pretty and talented.

I sent my daughter's headshot and a picture of me -- I ALMOST jokingly added something to the effect that it's okay if they can only use my daughter. Isn't that pathetic?

Even with the humor, we do have the lowest self-esteem.

I wanted to add that I've written an entire memoir about my issues with fat. It opens with my most embarrassing moment (at the time), which had to do with a moment of not fitting on a roller coaster.

If interested, you can read it here: http://lindasherwood.com/wp/category/fat-mans-daughter/chapter-one/

It's an entire chapter, so it is much too long to post here.

It is so painful to read these stories when you can relate to every one of them.