Way, Way Tmi... Er... Chafing: A Funny (?) Story

[ouroborous 519]

So, since this is TMI... I recommend you stop reading if reading about, erm, anatomical details makes you uncomfortable.

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You have been warned

So, this question is for the guys, but ladies -- maybe there's a parallel? I've been having some... ahem. SORENESS lately. On a very, ahem, private part of my body. OK, we're all grown ups here -- on my penis. Specifically, it's external, on the underside.

As a sexually active male, the first time I realized this was going on, I immediately freaked out and rushed to the doc. for a full STD screen. I play safe, but... you can't be too careful, right?

Well, the doc tested me for everything we could think of, from simple to scary, easily dealt-with to chronic, viral and bacterial. I had blood drawn, I got to have my doctor man-handle my junk (oh, joy), I peed in a cup. The good news is: I'm clean. The bad news is: I still have no idea what's up.

So what's going on? Why's Mr. Happy sore all the time? The doc couldn't tell me, but he told me not to worry about illness or disease, because he couldn't find anything with about a dozen different tests. I was thinking about it yesterday and I realized something: I'm skinnier. I mean, a lot skinnier. Two years ago, I was wearing giant, baggy, 48 inch waist jeans, now I'm finding that my 36 inch waist jeans are "comfy" and I can easily fit into 34 inch waist jeans when I feel like being all 'sexy'. The soreness could just be -- drum roll, please -- chafing! I realized that it hurts in EXACTLY the place where Mr. Happy would be rubbing against my boxers when I'm out walking in my new, snug jeans! Couple that with the fact that I tend to wear fairly loose-fitting boxers (and they're made of cotton, which is warm and snuggly, but can turn into sandpaper with enough movement!) and you may well have a recipe for OUCH.

Today I'm wearing 36 inch jeans instead of 34 inch, and I'm wearing my snug-fitting lycra boxer/briefs instead of the cotton boxers -- they fit much snugger, and they have a very smooth, almost silky texture. That, plus the looser jeans, and I bet you I'll discover that all of my scary "soreness" goes away within a few days.

Such are the joys of being a man, and a hypochondriac, and losing lots of weight. Gents, be warned!

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

Bwahaha, good read.

[hadouni 301]

anti monkey butt powder... pretty good stuff!

[phatdivabbw 86]

Sounds like a WIN to me! BTW I love a man in snug-fitting lycra boxer/briefs! Presents the package NICELY! :wub:

[bubblesbgood 29]

lol your topic made me giggle. a few months ago i stopped wearing lycra pants to the gym not just because of chaffing but i was getting scared all of the friction would start a forest fire, lmao thank you for a bit of humor! we are a hardy bunch arent we? we can survive anything!

[carolinagirlz 20]

this happened to my husband when he lost 125 lbs. He was an avid cyclist(spandex). He would get chafed all the time. He started using a&d ointment. The smell is awful but if prevented friction. He also got chafed from his "man boobs"! It was so bad he wore bandaids over them when he rode his bike. He treated it with wearing an under armour shirt under his jersey. Good luck!

[minniekitty 44]

I'm not an expert on the subject, but my ex used to put baby powder on his junk to help with chaffing after he lost 100+ lbs. Maybe that can help if the problem returns.

[Willow216 91]

LOL this story made my day! And told very delicately.. Not only the women have unexpected drawbacks to losing weight. I think after losing more than 100lbs the body starts to experience new changes and new type of issues that you have to get used to.

[Lissa 2,631]

I feel sorry for your little friend, ourborous! He's telling you to be nicer to him. Maybe a little baby powder would help. I bought cornstarch-based baby powder recently for my tummy issues. As I get more active, more things rub together than you'd think and my belly isn't liking all this movement. With the humidity in FL, regular baby powder felt like sandpaper on my tummy.

Someone else mentioned monkey butt powder. They also make a paste which speeds healing.

Good luck!

[massindex 346]

i second the motion on the anti-monkey butt powder. It's good stuff.

[chitowngirl 884]

Ok, my husband works outside walking, so in the summer he gets some serious shaffing. First under armour sells boxer brief underwear made out of some really tight smooth material. They're pricey, but they may just be worth buying a pair or two for those days you wanna wear your size 34's. For the rash my husbands go solution is to put athlete's foot cream, according to the hubs you put it on after a shower the just take it easy, by the next morning most of the soarnesd should be gone. Of corse considering just becareful .

[ouroborous 519]

Gonna definitely have to check out this monkey butt powder. It's safe for the, um junkal area?

[massindex 346]

Gonna definitely have to check out this monkey butt powder. It's safe for the, um junkal area?

That's what it is for! Really good for biking!

[JimmyGotSLEEVED 270]

I found it funny that the women were the very first to comment on his man issue Smh lol...

Here's an honest trick if you think it's a chaffing issue use vaseline around the area OR powder it up...

Thank me when this issue is past tense!

[disneyteach 68]

I'm not an expert on the subject' date=' but my ex used to put baby powder on his junk to help with chaffing after he lost 100+ lbs. Maybe that can help if the problem returns.[/quote']

O.k. Kala knows what she is talking about. Baby powder is the secret. I put it in my underwear and thirty after working out at the gym. It will stop that problem, though when people pat me, I smoke and it scares people.