No Where Else To Turn

[ooffa511 505]

I'm writing here bc I see so many of you pour your hearts out.

I had sugary 3 weeks ago. I'm down 28 all together but I feel like crap. I have a stressful life. And now where I used food to cope I now turned back to pot. (marijuana)

I found myself falling into old habit and I'm scared I am screwing everything up. I'm snacking on crap. Not being good w meds and staying in my room. I have a small family to Takr care of and I feel like I'm going to snap

My husband is very supportive of me but makes incredibly poor decisions. He is my main stress and is trying to work his issues out. But in the meantime I am ready to snap and don't know what to do first. I am on anti depressants too.

I hope this makes sense and anyone can help. 

[kimmy*custis 276]

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. Is there anyone you can talk to, family member, possibly your Doctor? Please get some help from somewhere, you are so worth it and doing fantastic so far, your weight loss is amazing. You just have to decide in your mind that you can do this. I know it is hard, believe me, I have had hard days to but I know deep in my heart...I CAN DO THIS...and you can too. Hugs to you...keep us posted on your journey.

[CAsleeve 56]

OK, snap out of it!!! Marijuana is medicine. Think of it that way. I'm all for herb, but only if you are in the right space and use it in a positive way. It doesn't sound as if you are. Just stop. Breathe, go for a walk, meditate, bring positive thought in to you being and the space around you. Don't let your husband enable any sort of negativity. Only YOU have the power to change YOU. Only you have the power to change your body. You made the positive decision to get sleeved and change your life for the better. Make it happen in every respect. I recommend the following three movies to everyone to get a better perspective on nutrition and diet - you, no one, needs processed foods and the crap that contributes to depression and malaise. Watch these three movies if you need a grasp on good nutrition: "Forks Over Knives", "The Weight of the Nation", and "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead"

Watch these movies. You can find them on Netflix, iTunes, etc..

Only use herb if you are in a good space - dang, so you can enjoy it. Herb is a positive...don't let it be anything other. If it is, just stop it! More than anything....cut out the crap. That is what it is CRAP! Don't counter all the good you are doing by putting crap in your body.

One Love.

[RawrrAshleex3 137]

Have your dr adjust your meds maybe? Im bipolar and I have a feeling with my up and downs since my surgery a week ago Ill probably end up back on meds and in therapy. Are you seeing a therapist or just a psychiatrist/pcp for your meds? Re-evaluate your "friends" and support. Where are you getting it from? What triggers you to do it at the moment? If its with your friends explain to them that its being detrimental to you right now and to keep it and thoughts around it away. If they push it or keep bringing it around, honey, they aint your friends. As for hubby, tell him ship up or ship out! Have you sat down recently and talked to him about whats going on and how much stress he's causing you? Can you take a vacation?

[SicChl 16]

I think it makes perfect sense.... Remain strong for yourself & family. Talk Talk Talk... Find someone to talk to..

You can do this because nobody is going to do it for you... And you CAN'T quit! ...

Watch the Herb... It'll give you the munchies..

[allmyjoy 21]

I had to meet with a therapist pre-op. Maybe that could help. We talked about replacing addictions with others, drugs, sex, shopping etc.... Those are diseases just like being over weight. Good luck to you. I was always told don't let anyone take your joy! They can only take it if you give it to them! (that's where my screen name came from allMYjoy)

[ooffa511 505]

Thank u everyone

I have great friends and an amazing mom to talk too. I called my doc to increase my anti depressants. But I can't get out of this Funk. Pot seems like my only help. I don't know how to stop. I didn't want to go to NA bc I didn't want to get laughed at having a "pot problem"

I started off my 30s feeling great and now I feel worse than ever. However, I am going to take into account everything u guys are saying.

[ooffa511 505]

I have also spoken to my husband about his flaws. We are going to therapy tonight. The real issue is I want to split up bc he is holding me back. He is my hs sweetheart and we got reunited through myspace years ago. He was the one the got away but now I wish he would go away

I am a cancer survivor, I have two children and run my own business. But his bullishly is killing me. My motto for him is a day late dollar short and another excuse. He is a great dad to my daughter and to his son.

I do love him, I think but I all I know is he is killing me. I don't want to be divorced twice w two kids but I am a survivor and a hard worker and a good person. But these life decisions are not easy and I feel trapped

[PdxMan 4,292]

I just want to start out by saying my comments are based in concern for you and your family's well-being. I'm not the kind of person who gives back-rubs and says, "Don't worry honey, everything is going to be alright."

There is a forum on here that discusses cross addictions. This is a common issue for not only folks who may have abused food, but others recovering from other addictions. Recovering alchoholics turning to gambling ... gamblers turning to eating ... It is based in the allusion that this is something you can control or it gives you control over something else. Many people have said (and it has come out of my mouth years ago) that you cannot get addicted to pot. While that may be true directly, the coping mechanism can be addictive. It is a way to tune out of your stressfull life, but when you come down, the problem/stress is still there but usually it is even worse because time has passed. So, instead of dealing with the stress head on, you go back to your coping mechanism and the problem remains.

A little over 10 years ago I went through this with alchohol and pot. I didn't get my mail for weeks because there were so many bills waiting for me. I had to park my car in different locations because it was going to be re-possessed. I didn't accept phone calls from hardly anyone. I was spiraling out of control and it was only going one direction ... straight down.

How could I really expect things to get better when I didn't deal with them. A bill doesn't get paid while it sits in the mailbox. Laundry doesn't get clean if it never makes it into the washing machine. I went to therapy to get some direction. First step was to get sober and off of the alchohol and pot. 1 week in rehab. Saved my life.

The councelors helped me organize all of my issues and make a plan to address them all. Next step was to do it. Actually make the calls and talk to the people. First step was to break up with my girlfriend as she was bringing me down and keeping me in this world of dependence and not dealing with my life. Second was to go to 12 step meetings. Third, see a therapist.

Doing this allowed me to deal with all of my creditors, have a relationship with family members and most importantly, with myself. I didn't have to lie anymore to anybody. I started to have a better self-image. I was making good decisions in my life and things were working out for me.

Over the years I have been slowly working on improving myself with my latest project being my weight. Started at just under 300 and am now just under 180. Feeling great about myself and my life. But believe me ... it could have never happened if I didn't deal with my issues instead of trying to escape from them. Now is your chance. It is up to you and you alone to make a change.

Things only change when you change them. Your choice. Nobody else is going to do it for you and it's nobody else's fault except your own. Inaction or action. Choose now.

[ooffa511 505]

I know what I need to do but the decision is killing me. I don't want to hurt my little family but I am not being anytime of role model

My 10 year daughter who had ADHD is seeing all of this. So I hid in my room so she doesn't see her mom like this. My 3rd old son was in the hospital all weekend bc of a major asthma attack.

My husband ruined my 30th bday which was a week and a half ago. The truth is I know he is destroying my life but I feel he will get better. I don't know anymore. But I felt great that I got sleeved but now when all the drama has settled I see what I want and it's not him. Its so scary

[PdxMan 4,292]

Believe me ... I was scared $h!tless. But I had to do it. I had to make a change and things weren't going to change doing what I was doing.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am so glad you are reaching out. I of course don't know your life situation, but that first few months, just post op changes creates such emotional upheaval. I would NOT make any major /life altering decisions the first few months post op.

[ooffa511 505]

These issues have been here for a while. When I finally made the decision to get sleeved it was for me. No one else. But now that life is going on I'm really starting to realize the catalyst to my poor behavior. I don't know how to stop unless the source of my problems are gone.

I will keep everyone posted after therapy tonight. I really am trying to take the steps to become the best me. I do deserve it

[PdxMan 4,292]

I agree with CowGirlJane. This is about yourself. I wouldn't be asking your husband for a divorce tonight ... but you do need to address how you cope with stress.

Hormones are stored in fat which is being flushed at a rate never seen before in your body. You are going through changes which can't be ignored. Going to a therapist tonight with your husband is great, just keep an open mind. Again, this is about yourself. It is not your children's or husband's fault you smoke to deal with stress.

[5DoxieMom 87]

Ditto to what cowgirljane said. The first 6-8 weeks after surgery can be an emotional roller coaster. I made a decision during that time for which I am now sorry. I also said some things to people that I now regret.