No Where Else To Turn

[BenisaMartim4 369]

Step away from the pot!! That is not the answer. It's just a step to lead you into even more dangerous and addictive patterns. I had a nervous break down two years ago, so I am going to give you some advice from experience.

Much of what is going on with you is just a battle in the mind. We all talk to ourselves, not out loud, but in our minds. I bet I can repeat the daily conversation you have with yourself. "He is driving me crazy..I'm going to snap..I don't know how much more of this I can take..I hate *blank*..I NEED a hit." Should I go on? You are feeding your discouraged mind a constant IV of poison. The Bible (yes I am a Christian) says, "as a man (or woman) thinks in his heart, so is he." So, step number two after getting away from the pot, is POSITIVE THINKING. I know this may sound like some candy and rainbows load of bull, but it is not.

Let me give you a little picture illustration here: If someone comes along and squirts lemon in your ice Water, It doesn't take much to make it bitter. Same with your mind, that bitterness (negative thoughts) swirls around in there and before long has ruined you whole attitude. But now is where you can take action. What if you start adding sugar to that bitter Water and stirring it around. Soon you will have a nice refreshing glass of lemonade. Will the lemon be gone? No, but with the added sweetness, the whole perspective of the product has changed. This is where we go with the mind. The next time your husband gives you a squirt of lemon, don't add your own bitterness to it. Start with the sugar. Feed your mind sweetness. Repeat to yourself, I LOVE my husband. I have to have him. He is a great *blank*. Say it to your self all day long if you have to. Don't allow your mind the negative buffet. Do the same with every situation. I love my kids, I am thankful that I have a job, I am glad that I have a roof over my head, I am losing weight and getting healthier, at least it was one cookie and not the whole bag. You understand. We play a huge role in our emotional well being and it is our responsibility to take the reigns of our mind and guide it in the direction we want to go.

The next thing you need to do is pray. You tell God, I NEED SOME HELP!! He never made the human being to carry all of life's burdens on their own shoulders. We are just not strong enough. He said, "come unto me all that are burdened and heavy ladened and I will give you rest." If you are sincere and ask with a heart open to his will, you will find help.

Continue the anti-depressants if need be, but be aware that some may exasperate your condition. Monitor your status and if it seems to be deteriorating, consider asking for a different RX. I found Cymbalta very helpful during my trial. The Zoloft made me a zombie and killed my sex drive 100%. That does not help a marriage at all. It also does not help with your feelings of isolation. A woman needs touching. This stimulates the production of oxytocin, a calming hormone. So please, if you have lost your intimate relationship, work to start building it back. If it is the meds, ask for a change.

Open the blinds and let the light in. Go out for walks if possible. The sun also regulates moods in the human being. Being enclosed in a dark house all the time can really put a damper on your happiness factor. Crank up the music! Listening to good, up beat music will help to lift the spirits. Avoid the sad, mad, depressed drinking, he's leaving or cheating kind of stuff at all costs. And try to avoid negative people. Some folks don't really care about your situation, they just feed off of your problems. So...let them starve.

I know I don't know your situation, but trust me. These things are good for EVERYONE. There is nothing to lose, but some sleepless nights and stress headaches. Take it from someone who has been there. I let my negative thoughts talk me right over the ledge and straight into the gulf of a nervous break-down. You can't afford to go there. You have too much to accomplish in your life. Keep your chin up, bask in the sun , think happy thoughts and trust God. Best wishes on your progress You can PM me any time if you need to.

[kyllfalcon 768]

Pdxman, you are some kinda guy. I mean that in a good way. You've been there, done that, wore the T-shirt home. You generously share your life experiences. We can all learn from you. Thanks.

[ooffa511 505]

My husband and I smoke together. Honestly I feel at this point that's the only thing we have in common. Its hidden from the children but it's my way of staying calm. I'm scared to try xanex bc I have such an addictive personality.

I am so desperate to stop smoking pot. I quit cigarette 5 months ago. I am really truly trying to turn my life around. But I'm at a hurdle

I am Jewish but we are raising our children catholic. I have a modern family life. My kids have the same bday 7 years apart so bday and hoikdays consist of my husband and in laws my fam and my ex w my ex in laws. And we all get along. It's hilarious.

Anyway back to the point. I have been through soooo much and turn to g-d but I feel like he keeps taking a **** in living room and walks away and I have to keep cleaning it up ( I hope u get my analogy). I truly feel stuck. I am thankful for everyone u guys are saying bc I feel like I am the only one. And as much as my friends understand they don't

I am a passionate person and have a drive for life but it's been gone for years. The sleeve felt like my salvation and now that the weeks are going I am realizing where the change has to happen.

I will not end my marriage tonight bc I am head over in heels w my hubby. The damn book 50 shades of grey got us back but it was for the moment. A lot to swallow at once. And I feel a lot of it is self created. Change is tough. Especially when there is a lot of change that has to be done.

[ooffa511 505]

Pdxman' date=' you are some kinda guy. I mean that in a good way. You've been there, done that, wore the T-shirt home. You generously share your life experiences. We can all learn from you. Thanks.[/quote']

I 100 percent agree

U have been there and done that and survived. I look up to u and ur words mean a lot

Thank u for sharing 

[beautifulnewme2012 164]

I have also spoken to my husband about his flaws. We are going to therapy tonight. The real issue is I want to split up bc he is holding me back. He is my hs sweetheart and we got reunited through myspace years ago. He was the one the got away but now I wish he would go away

I am a cancer survivor' date=' I have two children and run my own business. But his bullishly is killing me. My motto for him is a day late dollar short and another excuse. He is a great dad to my daughter and to his son.

I do love him, I think but I all I know is he is killing me. I don't want to be divorced twice w two kids but I am a survivor and a hard worker and a good person. But these life decisions are not easy and I feel trapped[/quote']

I was 27, with 2 husbands behind me...a fiance that treated me like gold but I didn't want to be married for the 3rd time. I got married too young back to back. I really wanted to take the time to make sure I wouldn't be getting divorced again. Its been wonderful. We have been together 6 yrs now. He is an awesome support system to me and my kids and I thank God everyday that I have him. Don't feel bad for getting divorced. Do what's right for u and ur kids....

[ooffa511 505]

It's so tough. My husband is my number one fan and my biggest enemy at the same time

I know he is still growing up too. He is 31 and dealing w his own bullshit.

But I've been hearing the same excuses time and time again. How do I know that THIS will be the time he changes. It's almost like he has to loose everything before he gets his act together

I was feeling strong but now weak and confused. We do have a good therapist and knows us well. We are long time clients but I don't want to waste our sessions on us anymore. I want to be selfish and say f u I need to change for me and me kids. But we are married. Ugh. I feel great that I can vent.

Feel bad for my mom and my one girlfriend. Their second jobs are being an ear lol

[PdxMan 4,292]

Pdxman, you are some kinda guy. I mean that in a good way. You've been there, done that, wore the T-shirt home. You generously share your life experiences. We can all learn from you. Thanks.

I 100 percent agree

U have been there and done that and survived. I look up to u and ur words mean a lot

Thank u for sharing 

Well, thanks, ladies. My wife thinks I share a little too much sometimes, but if my blunders and triumphs can help anybody, then it's worth it. I have been down ... suicidal, in fact back when I has going through this experience 10+ years ago. It's a tough path when you think the world is against you and there's nothing you can do.

Ooffa, you can't change your husband and it is silly to think you can. I'm not saying he won't change, but it goes back to what I was saying earlier. Things only change when things change. There's an old saying about the definition of insanity ... "Doing the same things over and over again, but expecting different results." It is so true. Sometimes to initiate change, we have to lead by example. If your behavior doesn't change, why do you expect your husband's to change?

[ooffa511 505]

It's true. I blame his bs the reason why I smoke. He is easier to handle baked and that's when we get a long. I have an idea what our therapist will say tonight and I know all fingers won't be pointed to hubby. Ooffa

[PdxMan 4,292]

Trust me ... they won't. I'm glad to see you realize that. It is a necessary revelation. And the fingers pointed at your hubby are not of your concern. Work on those pointed at you. Those are the ones you can change. That is your side of the street to keep clean. He is responsible for his side of the street. Keep yours clean and he might like the look of yours and decide to clean things up a bit.

[kimmy*custis 276]

I am glad you are going to therapy tonight. Dont give up on yourself and your marriage until you get down to the real root of the problem. You can change yourself but you cannot change bad judgment calls. Hugs to you!

[readytobeslimxoxox 23]

Hi, quick question. Is smoking pot just as harmful to your body as cigarettes are right after surgery? Are you suppose to wait a little while or does it matter? I'm an occasionally pot smoker (like once or twice a month with friends) and was wondering!