Need Help/advice From Old Sleevers - I Failed :(

[Wishful Butterfly 3]

Hi,

This is my first time to join a sleeve forum and I think I should have done this long time ago.

I had my sleeve surgery since 2 years. I was 308 pounds and now I'm 183 pounds. I didn't reach my goal yet and I struggled a lot in loosing my weight. I feel very upset, depressed because all who had sleeve (the ones I know and read about) reached their goal from the first year! and I didn't even reached it! I need at least another 40 pounds to lose. I've been struggling in loosing the weight for almost a year! loosing and gaining back .. loosing and gaining back. I'm sick of this loop.

I know its my mistake! because I went back to my old habits and whenever I want to eat, I tend to eat the easy sliding foods! such as chips, chocolates...etc

I can't stop and I'm tired of starting and failing. I'm tired and sick of feeling different all the time from others.

Many issues came up after the sleeve surgery.. in addition to not able to loose the weight, I’m suffering from excess skin all over and this is because I was obese since childhood.

Pls, any advice would help

Thanks

[Calicolea 38]

I know you asked for help from experienced sleevers, and I only had my surgery a week ago, but I'd like to chime in.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I'd call you a success if you are down to 183. You lost an amazing amount of weight.

Question - Do you have the means or desire to have the excess skin removed? That may be a big portion of the weight still left to reach goal.

I had lap band 9 years ago and lost over 100 lbs and had lots and lots of saggy skin. I did have a Tummy Tuck and breast reduction that fixed lots of the problems.

/Hugs to you

[Lissa 2,631]

I think you've done terrific with your sleeve! You lost well over 100 pounds and have maintained that loss! Go You!!!! Your goal of 140 may, in fact, be too low based on your height and, yes, the excess skin probably accounts for a good bit of that "failure" to get to your goal. I'm 5'8 and my original goal was 170, down from 352. My surgeon tells me that I'd look like death warmed over at 170 AND I'd still have extra skin. His exact words were that I'd never reach 170 without "more hot lights and steel". In other words, it would take skin removal to get to that number.

If you're truly concerned, maybe a discussion with your WLS surgeon is in order. S/he can give you a better assessment of whether you've reached your potential number or if you need to change your eating habits to get to a lower goal. IF the doc says you should lose more weight, you've STILL got the perfect tool to do it. All you have to do is go back to basics: 70g of Protein, 64+oz of Water and exercise. Exercise will help either way, because it will help you firm up the areas that are bothering you and may even help with skin tightening.

Good luck!! You're amazing and have done great with your sleeve!

[100%Sleeved 148]

Well first of all I want to congratulate you on your achievement so far. 128 lbs is an AWESOME weight loss. Please don't be too hard on yourself. There is a forum on here called basic boot camp posted by Littlemissdiva which will show you some things you can do to get back on track. I personally will go on a 3 day Optifast diet when ever I find myself getting off track and this helps to rejump things for me. I'm sorry I don't have much to offer but I hope this helps.

[Midnight1440 1]

You lost 125 lbs!!! I don't know anyone who can call that failure. You inspire me. As for you're difficulty with going back to sliding foods, I bet you're not the only one. Maybe try a support group for ideas on how others were able to manage. Talk to your doctor and/or nutritionist. They may have suggestions. But also give yourself the credit you deserve. Remember when our doctors told us that this surgery would be a tool and it's up to us to determine our success. 125 lbs down. You did that.

[M2G 1,836]

I'm going to have to agree with everyone that you would definitely not be considered a failure in my book. In fact, I think you would be statistically considered a success (for record keeping purposes WLS is considered a success when you lose anywhere from 50-70% of your excess weight depending on what surgery you choose...I think VSG is around 60-65%) Anyway from that standpoint you are doing incredible!!! So congrats.

However, I hear in your post that you are struggling. Does your surgeon have a nutritionist or a therapist that you can see/talk to? I agree that while I don't know your height, or BMI, etc. 140 lbs may just not be in the cards for you. I think we all have to work through our skin issues in various ways. Some have plastics, some want plastics but can't afford them, and some (like me!) are working on making peace with our skin and hoping that time/exercise will eventually help.

I certainly wouldn't call you a failure, so I think you need to reframe some thinking and start thinking about how much you have accomplished and where you want to be in one year. Start working towards whatever reasonable goals you come up with. YOU CAN DO IT!

[Dee 39]

I feel your pain...I would say you made the biggest step towards reaching your goal my logging in here! I was putting back on weight so I can back here. I went back to logging my food (used sparkspeople-tons of on-line programs) we KNOW what to do, just have to do it! Get back to it girl! you can do this (you already proved that to yourself) . You are worth getting to a place where YOU feel you need to be. ONWARD!!!!

[coops 1,790]

Right! Joojoo, let me start with the simple fact that you have lost well over 100lbs, you've maintained that loss so therefore you are NOT a failure.

I am not at goal and I am nearly two years out and I do not consider myself a failure... far from it!

It is time to change your train of thought and look at the positive things that you've achieved... I mean, you've almost lost another person!! C'mon... that is bloody amazing. Don't let the numbers on the scale get you down... they are mean and evil (lol)... other factors have to be taken into consideration; overall health, well being, lack of medications, fitness etc... they are all as important - if not more important - than the scale numbers.

I'm not saying that you don't have to get to goal... just don't get fixated on it whereby you percieve the numbers to equal a failure status for yourself.

I have been at the same number on the scale since last Oct... not a pound gone... but I have gone down a dress size. I have tried EVERYTHING in my power to get the last 14-28lbs off but at the moment nothing is working, so I am just relaxing and in semi mantance mode at the moment (sounds familiar?). When I am ready, I will give it another go - track and log and count calories and carbs and protien, but for now I am not in the right 'place'.

If you feel ready, have a look around here, there are some great tips... try the 5 day puch test and perhaps the bootcamp as mentioned.

Stay in touch and let is know how you are doing... but most importantly remember that you are not a failure...

[desertmom 297]

Hi

You know,maybe instead of feeling different than others let me suggest something different.

I have a tall beautiful skinny friend living with us at the moment and she is teaching me that skinny people have to look at what they eat and not eat to much or to often all the time.So,maybe,seeing as you only have 40 pounds to lose you are now a normal person needing to lose some pounds.Not a morbidly obese person trying to lose weight.

It seems to be a lifelong struggle for most women and as my friend says,it is not only me that spends a lot of time thinking about food,most of them spend a big chunk of time each day thinking about what to eat and then eating it.

Maybe you should see yourself as a normal healthy almost skinny girl,battling the bulge like everyone.

As for the skin.I already look like I am going to smack myself unconcious if I move my arm to fast..lol.I have no plan for that plastics is the only thing that helps.

Good luck and tackle that weight again as if it is the first time in your life you have to.

xxo

[DesertRat 32]

I haven't had sleeve surgery yet but have a long history of weight problems and weight successes. I was obese as a child but when I was 15 my appendix ruptured and I gained control of my weight. I had 16 very good years. There were occasional slip ups but for the most part I stayed at or near 181 pounds which is about perfect for my height . . . but only about perfect. I wanted to be somewhere around 160 - 170, aat times I wanted to weigh much less than that, but I couldn't get there and stay there. A lot of it was loose skin, some of it was adipose tissue on the flanks. In retrospect, I should have been happy with what I had accomplished. I had gone from an obese kid that was teased and pick on to being quite average . . . not perfect . . . average. When I got into my thirties something changed and I started to gain weight. I got as high as the 260s and was very unhappy with myself. In the years since I've bounced around from the low 200s to 250 or so and hated it. I knew I had done better but I just couldn't make it work any more. My surgeon felt that with effort I could get down to 170 and that's music to my ears.

The point, IMHO, is getting healthy. At 180 pounds I don't look like Michaelangelo's statue of David but I look OK. Much more importantly, my blood pressure, blood sugar and cholesterol will be better. I'll be geared up to be healthy and that's what counts. The beauty of it is that if you are healthy you are postured to make the best of things. You may not ever be petite but you can be a healthy person and be treated with respect.

In a dream world I'd look like George Clooney and everyone would have the physique of a swimsuit model but this is the real world and things aren't that way. Over the years I've come to appreciate that people come in varieties and that's just fine. Healthy is where it's at for me.

[minniekitty 44]

I'm not an old sleever. I was sleeved on August 12 of last year, so I haven't even reached my 1 year mark yet. But, I'll still chime in lol

How tall are you? 183 lbs might seem high to you, but if you're taller then you very well may be in the normal BMI or lower overweight BMI category.

If you're shorter, you still shouldn't beat yourself up. You managed to keep 120 lbs off for 2 years, and that's still a fantastic weight loss with the sleeve. It's not like you've gotten back up to the high 200's or 300's again.

Do you still have decent restriction? Logging my calories has made a world of difference to me. A lot of people here use MyFitnessPal. I have around 40 friends from here and it's a great way to keep motivated. You should add me if you do join: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/kalars88.

Also, how many calories a day do you eat if you do know? While I was losing I ate 600-800 (~1000-1100 on bad days), and now in maintenance I try to eat 1200 calories a day.

I know a lot of people here use low carb diets to keep on track. I tried it and hated it, and I lost weight just fine while eating lots of carbs (but it varies from person to person of course). If you're having a harder time, though, low carb diets might work for you too. MyFitnessPal should help with tracking carbs.

And, welcome to VST! Now you can get back on track

p.s. I also have loose skin. I've been obese since I was 8, so I can totally relate. Last night I freaked my sister out when I showed her how far my stomach skin can stretch out lol

[Wishful Butterfly 3]

Dear All,

I really can't thank you enough for your generous replies and care. Your support made me feel that I'm not alone and got me motivated. I think as most of you said, I'm pushing my self too hard. Also, I need to start and change the way I think about my self and my life.

As for the excess skin, yes I have huge amount to be removed. As per the plastic surgeon, I need a full body countouring surgery. I want to do the surgeries but I don't know with which doctor and still didn't know how I would pay for it.

THANK You SOOOOO Much for your replies and support.