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Who To Tell And Not Tell....

I do not plan on telling a whole lot of people about this surgery, as I have read from some of you and I also have a friend that has received negative feedback from friends and family. That being said, I see my step-mom every week...for choir practice and at church. But she worries about so much, I am afraid to tell her. However, I know that she will end up knowing afterwards and then be mad I didn't tell her to begin with. How would some of you approach this? Also, my mother lives in Tennessee, I am in South Carolina. I would hate to give her something to worry over unnecessarily, but already feel guilty for not telling...lol. What do you think?

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  • For me, it isn't a matter of embarrassment. Heck, the fact that i am overweight is embarrassing! I need to focus on me for once and not waste a second explaining myself to people who may not be suppor

  • I just had someone on Facebook post on my wall asking how I'm losing weight. I told them the truth. Calorie restriction. I eat 700-1000 calories per day.

  • oh no...hubby and i were just having a conversation about Albert Manzo from Real Housewives of NJ (yah...) who got the lap band. Hubby said, well cant the sleeve be removed? GRRRR i KNEW HE WAS NOT LI

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I just had someone on Facebook post on my wall asking how I'm losing weight. I told them the truth. Calorie restriction. I eat 700-1000 calories per day.

I just had someone on Facebook post on my wall asking how I'm losing weight. I told them the truth. Calorie restriction. I eat 700-1000 calories per day.

You go girl!!

That's all they need to know. I hope you post a video of you in a Zumba class next week. LOL!!

Get all the witnesses and support that you need from the gym, trainer and/or a boot camp. People will not question hard work and discipline.

WLS is a very wonderful thing and it saves lives. However, you can tell people on a need to know bases and everybody doesn't need to know.

I personally am not bothered to tell people I'm going thru WLS. Im not going to make it seem I'm doing this on my own..bc I'm not. I need help and I'm ok admitting that. I've had nothing but positivity with sharing my experience and then even if someone does say something...who cares? It's not about them, it's about me and I'll be damned if I allow anyone's opinion to affect me any longer...think about it isn't that where a lot of our eating stems from? Emotions? Bad self talk? Others opinions? Negative comments? I'm taking my life back and for me admitting it is part of the process in regaining myself. I hope that by being open & honest about this it will help someone else looking to change their lives too..I didn't know one of my best friend's had WLS, finding out about her journey gave me the strength to start my own.

Good luck to all!! =)

I personally am not bothered to tell people I'm going thru WLS. Im not going to make it seem I'm doing this on my own..bc I'm not. I need help and I'm ok admitting that. I've had nothing but positivity with sharing my experience and then even if someone does say something...who cares? It's not about them' date=' it's about me and I'll be damned if I allow anyone's opinion to affect me any longer...think about it isn't that where a lot of our eating stems from? Emotions? Bad self talk? Others opinions? Negative comments? I'm taking my life back and for me admitting it is part of the process in regaining myself. I hope that by being open & honest about this it will help someone else looking to change their lives too..I didn't know one of my best friend's had WLS, finding out about her journey gave me the strength to start my own.

Good luck to all!! =)[/quote']

Yes, good luck to you!

I wish we were all fortunate enough to have your support system.

We should not make others feel bad no matter what they decide to do. I personally don't think its anyone else's business how I loose weight. I choose to let them guess. The keyword is I and you can be an open book if you choose. I will not think less of you, I applaud you for putting your health first..

I just had someone on Facebook post on my wall asking how I'm losing weight. I told them the truth. Calorie restriction. I eat 700-1000 calories per day.

How long has it been since you've had the sleeve?

How much have you lost?

My surgery is scheduled for June 7, 2012.

Before surgery very few people knew. My mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, grandma, and uncle knew. I told my closest friends and a few select coworkers that I knew would be supportive, including my boss. I wanted to avoid the naysayers and be comfortable with my decision and focus on the pre-op stuff prior to undergoing the procedure. Coworkers that didn't know were simply told I was going on medical leave. Since surgery, I have told a few more people, but have limited the knowledge simply because it is still new (surgery 4/24/12) and I have lots of things to focus on yet. (I did tell one neighbor, a nurse, who I thought would be supportive. Instead, she tried to talk me out of my surgeon, who I love, so I never brought it up with her again.)

It's a personal decision who you tell and you have to do what is right for you. I'm not ashamed of my decision, I just don't want to have to explain why I made it.

I personally told my sister and two of my friends. My sister told my parents and brother. I asked my parents not to tell anyone but they can't hold water!! My dad told my Grandma who called and talked to me until I told her (I know she already knew). I have not told my best childhood friend because she has made it clear she is against it. No one at my job know about it. I just feel I don't have to explain my decision to anyone. It's my life and my body and my decision to share my business.

Before surgery very few people knew. My mom' date=' dad, brother, sister-in-law, grandma, and uncle knew. I told my closest friends and a few select coworkers that I knew would be supportive, including my boss. I wanted to avoid the naysayers and be comfortable with my decision and focus on the pre-op stuff prior to undergoing the procedure. Coworkers that didn't know were simply told I was going on medical leave. Since surgery, I have told a few more people, but have limited the knowledge simply because it is still new (surgery 4/24/12) and I have lots of things to focus on yet.

It's a personal decision who you tell and you have to do what is right for you. I'm not ashamed of my decision, I just don't want to have to explain why I made it.[/quote']

I totally agree!!

You look beautiful by the way!

I'm totally jealous that you've had your surgery already. (Just kidding..) I'm really happy for you and I'm really nervous about my surgery. If you have any advice please contact me directly at tcbunny7@gmail.com

Thanks & God Bless!

I don't think Shoe_Vixen was trying to make anyone feel bad about not telling people. She started her post with the word personally so that's how I took her post - as her personal opinion.

I've started to share my plans with family because, frankly I'm excited and tend to get obsessive about things like this. It's definitely a personal choice who you tell or even if you choose to share with no one.

Yes' date=' good luck to you!

I wish we were all fortunate enough to have your support system.

We should not make others feel bad no matter what they decide to do. I personally don't think its anyone else's business how I loose weight. I choose to let them guess. The keyword is I and you can be an open book if you choose. I will not think less of you, I applaud you for putting your health first..[/quote']

It's definitely not my intent to make anyone feel bad about their choice or make anyone feel ashamed, truly it wasnt. Im excited about this new journey & I chose to share it. Yes, I am lucky to have a good support system, there are a few people who try to say little things but I learned a long time ago that we can't change how anyone else feels or thinks, just the way we do..so I ignore them =)

Good luck to you too!

It's definitely not my intent to make anyone feel bad about their choice or make anyone feel ashamed' date=' truly it wasnt. Im excited about this new journey & I chose to share it. Yes, I am lucky to have a good support system, there are a few people who try to say little things but I learned a long time ago that we can't change how anyone else feels or thinks, just the way we do..so I ignore them =)

Good luck to you too!

[/quote']

I understand....

Thank God you are blessed with a loving family.

The only way for me to avoid ridicule is for me to divorce my family (especially my sisters).

I'm truly thankful for my husband and to this forum. Otherwise, I wouldnt have anyone to share my WLS with.

I just want to take this journey and not have to justify myself.

I've had a few friends who walked into a room discovering everyone was talking negatively about her and WLS.

Another friend was betrayed in a room full of people after everyone was complimenting her. A friend decided to tell everyone she looks good just because she had surgery and without it she looked bad.

I dont want this drama...

God Bless!

The very few people who have made negative comments to me soon regretted their words. Especially since one of them was the obese aunt who has had 20 different surgeries because of her diabetes. She made a snide remark about me to another aunt and the second aunt told the obese aunt "Well, how's YOUR diet and exercise plan working for you? Lissa had ONE surgery to your 20!" It seems that it's always the person who has the least "right" to say something negative who does come out with the cutting remarks... and that tells me that their remark is based in jealousy.

I'm VERY open, as many here know, about my surgery and about my journey. If someone else doesn't like it or wants to be negative, they can be negative somewhere else. :)

I was surprised how supportive people have been. Seems like they are actually interested in learning about it. They may be talking about me behing my back but so far all has been positive. My mom keeps saying she supports me but she worries. Since we r going to costa rica for 11 days I kinda had to tell most everyone. I've had enough time to tell a few at a time.

I've chosen be very open about my decision to do VSG. The only person who's reacted negatively was the salesclerk at Catherine's because she knows she going to low a good customer! I really needed to put it out into the universe, so to speak, so that I would have as much support and encouragement as possible. .

How long has it been since you've had the sleeve?

How much have you lost?

My surgery is scheduled for June 7' date=' 2012.[/quote']

I had my surgery 3/13. I have lost 39 pounds so far. Started at 260 and now 221. I started out trying to see how much I could lose without thinking about it. I am starting to goal set now. I want to lose 10 pounds by the time I go for my next follow up appointment 6/4/12. Best of luck to you on your journey!

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