What Did You Tell Your Kids?

[VMiller 0]

I have two girls ages eight and eleven. I am not embarrassed about getting the sleeve..I just want everyone to know. If I tell my kids..they will tell the world. I am also worried that they will really be frightened. Just curious those of you with kids around my age ..what did you tell them?

[MyGastricSleeveLife 180]

I think it really depends on your kids. I read one post where the person's child worried about things a lot, so they weren't sure what to say. I have 2 daughters, ages 12 & 8, and I've told them pretty much everything about the surgery & they're fine with it because they know it's going to get me healthy. However, I really think it depends on your children and what they can handle.

[E-girl 98]

My kids were 6 and 8. I didn't want to stress them out or scare them. So i told them that mommy was going to a doctor that was going to give me some "skinny shots" and that I was going to go the hospital for a couple of days. My husband told them to not hand or hug on mommy for the first two weeks because the "skinny shots" hurt. But my kids were really young. My 8 year old probably could have been fine with me telling him everything but my 6 year old is a worrywart. I think it depends of the kid. If you don't want them to worry, I would limit what you say and don't make it big deal.

[warrior 9]

I agree that it depends on your child and your relationship. You can't guarantee that they won't talk about this topic to their peers (or peers parents) since it is a stressor. Also you might consider that you're asking a kid to keep a family secret. That's a lot of pressure for a child.

Some matters are just for adults (dad's vasectomy, uncle's DUI, neighbor's divorce issues, grandma's spastic colon...). Does your child really need to know anything other than Mommy is getting healthy and strong? Your kids will see your enegry increase and your direct involvement in their lives will grow - plus youll be with them for many more years since obesity has lost its grip.

Search your heart, talk with your husband and be consistent. I'm sure you'll make the right choice for your family. Best of Luck!

[VMiller 0]

I am not sure where to say I am for the two days in the hospital. I can tell them I am out of town for work, but it won't explain why I am sick. They are old enough to know something is up. I agree they are too young to know.

[Lissa 2,631]

My kids are much older than yours, but one's a worrier and the other is more c'est la vie about things. The worrier lived with me when I had my surgery, so I was pretty up front about everything. I told him my research and the expected complication rates and let him know what the post-op requirements were. He was okay because he could DO something for me.

The other, I just said "Hey, I'm having WLS surgery on such and such day. My will and other legal documents are with my friend, so and so, and she's promised to help out if there are any problems. I'll call you after surgery to let you know I'm okay." He just said Fine and that was that.

When I visited with my laid-back son in October, he was amazed at my weight loss then and he asked more questions about the whole process. I think his girlfriend may be considering WLS, so that's probably the motivation behind it.

My point is that you have to tailor your discussion to the age and maturity level of the child. At 12 or 13, I'd have wanted to know all about what was going on if my mom had surgery. My 8 and 4 year old siblings (at that time) could have cared less as long as someone made sure they were comfortable in their own little worlds. I'm not dissing them, just stating facts. I think some preparation is in order, though, just in case there are complications.

I do love the "Skinny Shots" comment above, though!

[RMS 64]

I have 3 sons 14,11,and 9 . I told them all about the surgery. They asked a few questions and that was it. Now they just ask what kinds of food I can eate each week.

[chitowngirl 884]

I have a 13 year old son, and I told him that I was going to have surgery on my stomach. I told my son that it was not anything for him to worry about.

[shellbell33081 115]

my daughter is 5. I told her I was going to have surgery to make my stomach smaller. She's had 3 surgeries herself so she understands more than most kids her age. I wasn't afraid to tell her the truth. You know your kids better than anyone. I wanted my daughter to understand and if she tells the world, oh well! lol She's been telling people I can't eat food and I have to drink. lol It doesn't bother me, but rather, makes me proud that she understands somewhat.

[Stacey Nicole 40]

I have twin 5 year olds and I was very honest with them about my surgery. If they tell everyone they come in contact with I am ok with that. They knew something was up when I stopped eating so I told them that Mommy was trying to get healthy and that my doctor was going to help me make my tummy smaller. They knew about my nights away at the hospital ahead of time. One of my girls stayed back and was afraid to hurt me after surgery. My other insisted on being in the hospital bed with me the day after surgery, seeing my incisions daily (which were glued so it wasnt a mess), and cared for me hands on as much as she could. They both dealt with it differently and 6 weeks later they are both fine with it. They will tell you "a robot went into Mommys belly to make it smaller!!"

[tsl2/22 2]

i have a 5,10,&15 & i told them wen i got back, not b4... it help me alot telling them the truth, they wer more careful around me"/..& actually took really good care of me

[bigkim 109]

I have a 17 year old son, 4 & 9 year old daughters. I did not tell them. I don't need the smart remarks from my teenager. I just said I had stomach surg and left it at that. They have not noticed my different eating habits or my 30 lb weight loss.

I am trying to get them more active with me while eating healthier foods.

[M_Johnson 43]

I have a 17, 13, 9 and 7 year old. I was honest and said mom is having stomach surgery to help me be healthy. They have all been great. They like to "help" me with things. I explained I can't clean much,pick up stuff etc and they have been more then willing to help mom. Kids know more then you think they know. When I sat then down the night before my 9year old beat me to it. She asked how long I would be in the hospital before I got a chance to say anything. I would just be honest and if they tell anyone it will just be that mommy had surgery.

[deltadawn817 106]

I have a 7 yr old and I told her that it was mommy's business to share and not hers. That it would be like me telling everyone she doesn't always wipe good and still needs baby butt cream. She got it and doesn't tell anyone.

[Donnaf7 0]

My sons are 34 and 31 and I lied about what I had done because they would have been furious... And if they knew I went to Mexico they would have flipped out - so what they don't know won't hurt them...