Does anyone have any suggestions on how we can help our obese husband/wife? My husband is very supportive of me but I don't think he realizes how his eating habits effect me now. I worry about him. I want him to be healthy too..I wanted this for both of us. He was so motivated when I was going through the preop process but since I've had the surgery, he just seems to be getting worse. He's in pain all the time and he complains about his weight so I know it's something he is aware of and wants to improve.

I don't have a spouse, but I have a parent that is discouraged also. Unfortunately, just like us, they will not change unless they are ready to.

With my dad, he sometimes chooses a healthier route because he knows that I won't be swayed from my chosen diet. He wants to see me happy so he buys healthier foods. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop him from frying everything he eats.

All I can do is be encouraging, not nagging, and hope that when he's ready that I will be able to support him.

I was just sleeved a few weeks ago and my husband is just starting the process to get sleeved also. Trying to get him sleeved before the end of the year since our insurancce deductible is almost totally met

My boyfriend and I eat the same things, only difference is the volume.We both do low carb, and he has lost over 25 lbs since he started. He was motivated from the get go. And since I do all the cooking and refuse to eat leftovers, he gets portion controlled lunches for the next day.

Have you suggested that he be sleeved as well??? Either way, just talk to him. And if talking fails to a video log and then one day sit him down and show him exactly how he looks and what he is putting in his mouth. Sometimes you don't know what we do to ourselves until we actually see it...

Since my surgery, we don't eat out much anymore, and that alone has helped him lose some weight. We're also cooking much healthier at home, and he seems to be healthier overall. I'm hoping he continues this change!

Are you in a place where you eat the same thing at meals? Do you have time to be in charge of the planning/shopping/preparing? When my husband is left to his own devices, he usually will not make the best choices. But if I take all of the work out of it for him, he does better.

We've also started walking the dog together. He used to do it on his own (when I was too lazy to join), but would only go for very short walks - just long enough to let the dog do his business. Since I have joined him, we are all taking longer walks.

Hope this helps!

My wife was VERY supportative with me having the surgery and we planned all along that she would be sleeved next. She was sleeved 2 1/2 months ago and has since lost 40 pounds. We can go out and order a meal for one to share and still have leftovers!

Actually, it's funny this came up. I have been discussing and sharing with my hubby how his portions of food are influencing his blood sugar. He's diabetic and his blood sugar has been way out of control. So I have changed the plates that we use to dine on. I was using salad plates which did decrease how much we put on it, but now I've told him that he is going to use the same desert size plate that I use. Yep...... he's been down sized. I know that he will adjust, but for now, he is willing to use it and not complain. If he does, well, he can self soothe himself, because after all, his blood sugar was 126 this AM compared to 240 a couple days ago. So happy for us. :wub:

Two years ago my husband started the process for WLS - he failed the psych eval. I always knew he had a bad attitude and they confirmed it ! The psychologist felt that my husband was not prepared to make the changes necessary to make any type of WLS successful and she was afraid that he would end up hurting or even killing himself because he wouldn't follow the disciplines necessary. What a putz !

Anyhow, he is actually eating less now and losing weight (that seems to be all that most men have to do :-) just because I don't put so much on his plate.

I realized the cook (me) has all the power & control. . Since I've been sleeved my husband has lost about 20 lbs without trying since I've been cooking super healthy. I've been making a little extra for his lunches and sending healthy snacks. It's been a great motivator for him to start excersing. We've been going on walks together and hopefully we'll start going to the gym together soon.

Are you in a place where you eat the same thing at meals? Do you have time to be in charge of the planning/shopping/preparing? When my husband is left to his own devices, he usually will not make the best choices. But if I take all of the work out of it for him, he does better.

We've also started walking the dog together. He used to do it on his own (when I was too lazy to join), but would only go for very short walks - just long enough to let the dog do his business. Since I have joined him, we are all taking longer walks.

Hope this helps!

Unfortunately my husband works 3rd shift so we don't get to eat meals together. I cook most of all the meals,,we eat out sometimes but I make healthy choices,,he does not. He has the option to take something healthy with him to work,,I don't cook fatty meals. Usually when he wakes up around 9pm, I ask him if he'd like me to fix him a plate from dinner or I can whip something up for him and he says no,,and eats a very large jethro bowl of sweetened cereal. I've tried to encourage and motivate him but I've recently realized he has been part of a reason for me being unmotivated and struggling with my choices. I like to do the shopping but often my husband will stop by the store on his way home from work. He'll pick up "things we need" like milk but he very seldom picks up anything I can or should have. He does eat and buy a whole lot of cereal. I have a whole gym in my house so he has no excuse for not excercising but he does complain about it and will only do weights, no cardio and not often enough to really benefit him. He's middle age and becoming stagnant in his lifestyle and I don't want to see this happen.

This one is a little hard for me. I am in a long distance relationship and have no control over what my fiance eats. Well it turns out, thanks to Facebook, that he hasn't been low carb-ing it like he said. He has been eating burritos and pizza and cake and chips all the time. It is hard to even start talking about it with him. He gets defensive. But when he went to the doc he told him he has sleep apnea because of his weight, is pre-diabetic and needs to get his diet in order now! Both his parents have diabetes.

I am not sure what to do. He isn't that big, he is mostly muscle with a nice layer of fluff on top. But he packs on the weight quickly. :/