What Do You Tell The Nosey Peopke At Work?

[Mews 37]

I'm really open about the whole thing. If people ask I tell them the truth. A few of my students (college level nursing and health care ones) were very interested in the mechanics of the surgery. The only person I didn't tell was one of my bosses as he's a jerk. I just told him that it was a medically necessary surgery and left it at that. Unfortunately. I've had some major complications (extensive blood clot in my leg and an infected incision) but thankfully he hasnt pushed the issue with me.

[fluffylibra30 323]

I hate to say this' date=' but this is just the beginning. I am about 4 mos out and I did not tell anyone. Well, just about everyday for 4mos co-workers, neighbors, etc have questioned me and commented. I had one boss, call me in, close the door and begin to interrogate me, starting with, Did you have gastric bypass? I of course said no (I had the sleeve). Then : You did have surgery, what kind? me: "I 'd rather not say..I don't want to discuss it. " Then, I told the truth, "high Protein, low carb, daily exercise, needed to change for my health", and finished with, "I thinking what you are really asking is why I am motivated or how can you be motivated..The answer is, you need to be ready". There are many nosey people who don't have a life..someone else I know, made it common knowledge he had the sleeve..they are still making comments, watching what he is eating, etc..so whether you say or not, same BS (People used to have manners and not ask personal stuff, but those days are gone. Good luck, and get put your "thick skin" on [/quote']

Your boss had no right to this is. I would've reminded them of your privacy rights and had HR on their ass in a nano second!

[noname 4]

After reading some of the comment on here, something clicked in me, i realised there is no "shame" for lack of a better word in being proactive in taking control of your health, and decided to announce it on my Facebook 2 years out, not only do i feel freer, but hope others now may be aware of this as an option. Thanks for opening my eyes guys! Personal choice on what and who to tell, but was quite liberating

[Jill279 65]

Assi love that. I was only telling a couple close people, but now some people know and when approached I tell the truth. I tell them I am taking control of my life, what r u doing? ;p

[mskim4ever 0]

My doctors office faxed my insurance today for pre-auth. I contacted my HR person and asked how to take leave for surgery. I was told I could take up to 240hrs of advanced sick leave without having to do the whole FMLA thing. I do not have to attach a note from my doctor unless my direct supervisor asked for proof or leave. So I went into my supervisors office and told her that I would need her to sign off on my paper for sick leave for possibly 3 weeks for a surgery procedure. I asked if she needed a note, she basically left it on me (for my personal folder). I told her like this because I wanted to be prepared to ask for a note from my doc and get it all in time for me to be out. I'm hoping to have this done by "cinco de mayo", which is around the corner. My boss kind of looked concerned, so I was like dont worrry I am just going in for a womans procedure. She was take all the time you need and if you still need time off and want to work from home, to let her know. I work for the federal government if you were wondering. As for the other in the office, I have told only close friends which is like 3 people who know the deal. Other than that if someone else asks for the significant weight loss, I am going to say "newlywed life" LOL. I was recently married. I thought that might be funny. I am not ashamed, I think that once I get to my goal, I may reveal it to others.

[Caradina 65]

I told my direct co-workers. It's been positive, many are intrigued and ask alot of questions. One of them is planning her sleeve for 6 months after the birth of her child. LOL I also let it out into my social circle and have been privately contacted by around 6 people now for info on the surgery and my surgeon's info because they want the sleeve too. I'm pretty amazed how many people have been so positive and genuinely curious and intrigued for their own health. Kinda cool actually. I'll cause a "sleevalanche!"

[raven8888 86]

This has been hard for me too. I am not telling all of my family. My mother and my sister know. My entire family is obese. I see all of them on this lifelong yoyo diet. Losing . Gaining, losing, gaining more. My brother land himself in er with throughthe roof high blood pressure and heart problems, my dad diabetic with lung disease and on o2. He doesn't have a lot of time left. However, I know my family very well and they all like to talk behind each others back. I already know they will dissaprove and criticize me for taking the "easy" way out. Well, I have doing it the hard way for 20 years and I can barely walk every morning, my blood pressure averages 180/120 when miss a pill, I can tell I'm only a few years from being diabetic, I have ovarian cysts, and problems with my periods. I have 4 children ranging in ages 16 months to 20 years old. I don't want to die in my 60's like my dad is doing. I only told my mother because I knew she wouldn't say anything and as my mom she needs to know, but just today she said... You will probably feel so much better after you lose the weight, but I think you can do it on your own without this surgery, but you are already going through with it anyway. So it was a half supportive half unsupportive comment. Made me wonder if I should have just kept it to myself. It's har because this is the reaction from my obese family members, it would be 10 times worse if they all knew. My sister and I discussed it and we both feel they would resent me on many levels. So, I live out of state and all I have told them is I am having stomach troubles and seeing doctors for severe reflux and health conditions, my knees, etc and that I am going to a nut and a medical weight loss program. So that when they all see me in 6 months it won't be a huge shock. It's not that I'm hiding it, it's just I know why I am doing this. This is for me, and my children. I know I am making the best choice for myself. I am a nurse, and I did work in a nursing home, they are right not many 80 year old obese people there, sadly the ones I took care of morbidly obese were only in there 50 s and 60's and not doing well and needed help just to do activities of daily living and self care. That is not going to be me. So that is my reason for only including the people in my life I know support me. I don't feel the need to justify my choice to anyone else.

[raven8888 86]

I forgot to mention my wonderful husband my biggest supporter and friend. He loves me no matter what I choose.

[rodswife 155]

I just tell people the truth. I had weight loss surgery to better my health and lengthen my life. I don't care who knows or what they think. This is my life and I took control of it.

[irishmama2004 34]

I have told many people. I have three young children and no family in town. When one of my friends has a baby or surgery i am the one to organize everyone into helping out. I have let them know that i need help and prayers and the response has been wonderful. I truly believe we reap what we sew. I have an aquantaince who has been in the hospital for a month because she was too embarrassed to tell people she was having gastric bypass. She even went a few towns away to a rinky dink hospital that i wouldnt let give me a flu shot let alone cut me open. She was too scared to use the two baristric centers of excellence in town for fear she would be discovered. She didnt tell her teenage daughter or her son away at college and she told no one about the surgery but her husband. This may hsve been his idea. Anyway, her surgery was a nightmare and she ended up in the icu for weeks and so her husband had to tell their daughter and she broke down at school and before long every nosey nelly knows. A few people tried to visit her in the hospital but her husband refused until this past week. I feel so bad for him and her to be that scared of what people think. She is finally breathingnon her own and awake and has only let one person in to see her. I am just putting this out there to show you that there are downsides to keeping this secretive. And there is a difference between secretive and private. Private is a totally different matter and everyone deserves it.

[raven8888 86]

Wow, wasn't that a crappy thing to relate to our topic. I think the two are unrelated and anyone who reads my blog would know I'm far from negative nelly. But when it comes to my "privacy" I take that very seriously. My children, husband, mother, best friends, and sister are all that deserve to know. And I also feel that if someone wants to keep this journey private or "secret" that there are many different circumstances and dynamics people are faced with and unless you understand the entire picture and not assume one size fits all. I feel it is inappropriate to use such a scare tactic to have others be and see as you do and what you feel we all should be. I know for a fact I'm not going to be struck down by lightening or rather an icu because I didn't want to include my selfish, mean spirited, negative cousins or my a hole brother in my journey to save my life. Including more toxic people into my freedom is insane. Isn't the deep seeded point in this thread about nosey people, how others perceive or react to our decisions. Just because im private doesn't mean I'm not proud. One should feel safe to express thief real life concerns including not so ideal situations and not so ideal coworkers or not so ideal family members without feeling judged in the only place we should be understood.

[beautifulnewme2012 164]

I am only telling those I know won't have anything but support to offer...the "noseys" don't deserve to know what goes on with me no matter how big or small so I would have to say I am very picky about who I am telling also...

[irishmama2004 34]

You misunderstood what I was saying. You have told 500% more people than her by telling your children, mother, best friend etc. My comment was not directed at your situation but rather a cautionary tale to those considering not telling a soul. It wasn't a scare tactic either just a real situation that I am living right now. For my friend she never thought that the nosey people would find out and that she would recover normally and lose weight thanks to diet and exercise. And now I hear the nosey people talking about her and it boils my blood. They aren't saying "good for her for taking charge of her health" They are saying "Why didn't she tell anyone?" It is none of their business and I hate it for her. Anyway, if I meant it as a scare tactic I would have said "We are all making a big mistake and here is why!" But I didn't, I am having VSG still. In fact, this further proved to myself that this was the right surgery for me and not bypass which is what she had. Sorry you thought it was directed at you specifically because it was not. I look forward to seeing your successes on here!

[LTARLTON 7]

I have all but posted it on FB! I've told most everyone I know! Not only do I want their prayers & support' date=' but I want them to know it's an option for them![/quote']

Shelleyrn22 I completely agree with you. I am actually going to post it on FB this weekend. My surgery is April24th and I want all the prayers I can get. This is just my personal choice and I absolutely am not judging anyone else in regards to the way they have chosen to handle it. I am excited about the way I am going to look and how healthy I am going to be and those close to me will see how hard I am working to be my best. The others don't matter! So I say do what makes you feel good. I just personally want all the prayers and support I can get and if that means dealing with any negative people then so be it.I wish everyone of you the best in everything you do! God bless!

[LTARLTON 7]

I have all but posted it on FB! I've told most everyone I know! Not only do I want their prayers & support' date=' but I want them to know it's an option for them![/quote']

Shelleyrn22 I completely agree with you. I am actually going to post it on FB this weekend. My surgery is April24th and I want all the prayers I can get. This is just my personal choice and I absolutely am not judging anyone else in regards to the way they have chosen to handle it. I am excited about the way I am going to look and how healthy I am going to be and those close to me will see how hard I am working to be my best. The others don't matter! So I say do what makes you feel good. I just personally want all the prayers and support I can get and if that means dealing with any negative people then so be it.I wish everyone of you the best in everything you do! God bless!