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Hates When Friends Try To Talk Me Out Of Surgery!



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My husband just came home from practice and told me how 2 friends of ours were trying to discourage me having the surgery. Telling him I should just go on a real strict diet instead. One of our mutual friends is in the hospital for second time since surgery 8 months ago because of severe fecal impaction causing obstruction. I didn't even realize they knew I was having surgery. He took up for my decision, said he wanted to have it done and I had researched it thoroughly. I know they are just concerned but still irritates me!

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The people that judge don't understand our struggles. "A real strict diet? WOW!!!! Why didn't I think of that?!" If you are comfortable with your decision and have weighed your options, then good for you! When the Nay Sayers approach you, just change the subject. They will get the message, ESPECIALLY when you are post op and down 60 lbs! It does get to be very tireing (sp?) having to defend your decision to ignorant loved ones. Stay strong sister.

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thats what made me not tell anyone but my daughter until after, i know this is what i want but my older sister can sometimes talk me out or in to things, I want to do this for myself. and i dont need other people telling me , i should just diet.Ive tried, so for right now, my daughter is my support

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That comment sounds like it's coming from someone without much weight issues or someone who is jealous. You obviously didn't go into this haphazardly so stay strong in your decision.

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Like today someone asked if I knew about the raw food diet. I told them yes and declined. Mind you, she is average size and I don't think was ever big. It's a little different when someone has experienced it first hand. Besides, WLS is a tool to help.

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Thanks! I'm standing firm with my decision. Been only telling close family, Coworkers and 2 friends who have had the surgery for that reason. Neither one of them have weight issues either.

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It really pissed me off when people tried to talk me out of it too. My boss told me I was taking the easy way out. Here is a blog entry I wrote about it: http://jfabulous43.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/taking-the-easy-way-out/

Bottom line, don't listen to anyone but yourself.

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Ugh I hate discouraging ppl. I had someone tell me I didn't need the surgery I could just loose weight. How can you look at how unhappy someone is and try to hinder them from making a change? Ehhh whatever is done is done for you. I dont care what anyone says, my mind is made up!!

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People share their opinions for a lot of reasons: maybe they love you and they're scared (My Mom fell in this camp), maybe they are just clueless (every one who said 'Why don't you just diet' fell in this camp!), and some are just haters.

For those that love you, take the time to help them get over their fears, but stick to your guns! I took Mom to a support group meeting and she met my doctor too. She knew my heatlh was compromised because of my weight so that was already worrying her, so she was an easier sell on the operation. But she was still scared for me. I told her I had to weigh the risks of staying fat vs. having the operation and having the operation won.

For those that are clueless, if I cared enough about them I said "My Dr. and I have agreed this is the best option for me." No more discussion. If they kept on, I told them I didn't want to discuss it.

For haters, just ignore the suckers. They really are just jealous.

Best wishes on your journey!

Lynda

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I know my mom will be such a hattttter! When I was smaller she gave me no words of encouragement. Occasionally she would say "that top looks nice," but it was almost like she didn't want to. She has issues with emotions. I was looking pretty good. God help her once I get down to that weight, minus sixty more, plus I'm cute.. Good grief. Sorry, just had to toot my own horn for a second. :)

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My cousin and i have always been fat and fabulous together. Now that i have been sleeved she has become such a hater. Important only 2weeks in and have lost only 20lbs and she has started already. I finally had to lean on her and let her know that this was my decision and i don't care what her or anybody else thinks. I don't. Have to explain myself to anyone. I think she got the pic and apologized to me for being overly concerned as she called it.

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Every conversation I have with my mother is about a new diet or diet pill she saw on tv or someone at work is taking. It gets really frustrating. No one knows I'm having this. I'm going alone and I'm doing it for me! I'm so annoyed about how everyone else is such an expert on my body and my weight!

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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