How bizarre. In 18 months, I've gone from an XXL (bordering on XXXL) everywhere with a 46 (going on 48) inch jeans waistline, to XL in the shoulders, L bordering on M in the waist, and M for undershorts. And my jeans are 36 inch waist, and that's getting a little baggy; I can now fit into 34's without too much work, and I expect to be comfortably wearing 34's by the summer (doubt I'll get much smaller than that, since that's basically my hip bones!)

I've basically gone from being shaped like a giant jiggling amorphous blob to having the classic male "inverted wedge" shape with a tiny little stubborn tummy roll (I HATE you, jelly roll, I hate you! I do crunches and obliques EVERY SINGLE DAY and yet still you persist...). I seriously NEVER expected that I could look in the mirror and LIKE what I see. It just didn't occur to me. I find that my self-criticism is having a hard time lately; since it can't point at all my rolls and rolls of fat, it's having to do things like point out that I'm getting older (see! you have a sprinkling of silver at your temples! see! there's a faint visible line on your brow! old man!) and the last little bits of fat (see! there's a jelly roll at your tummy and especially on your flanks... FATTY!). In some ways that's sad that I talk like that to myself (but don't we all, secretly?) but in some ways it's kinda comical that this little sad cynical part of me is having a harder and harder time finding things to complain about!

I've gone from being utterly invisible to the female gender; an "LJBF" (let's just be friends) kinda guy -- friendly, smart, nice, but sexy? no... To having the very cute 20-something barristas at the local coffee shop openly flirting with me (a 40-something guy!) whenever I go in. In fact, that's one change I have a hard time dealing with, since -- at the tender young age of 41 -- I have almost zero experience in dealing with women reacting to me physically -- you know, as a male -- as opposed to simply emotionally or mentally. The idea that some woman might think I'm physically "hot" -- well, that's a completely new experience to me. I'm not Brad Pitt, but you know... I'm not bad looking! That's an utterly novel feeling for me. But I like it, and better late than never!

I went from being unable to walk more than a couple of blocks without being in excruciating pain from sore feet, sore knees, and chafing thighs... from being unable to stand up for any length of time because it made my lower back hurt... from being unable to run for more than a couple dozen feet without becoming EXTREMELY winded... to being a guy who hits the gym five days a week for weights. A guy who walks 2.5 miles every day without breaking more than a light sheen of sweat (and that's at about 4mph, up a rather steep hill half the way). A guy who runs -- RUNS! -- for five minutes to warm up for his workouts, and is seriously considering whether or not he could actually, you know, RUN for exercise in the mornings (when it's not so goddawful cold, anyway). I mean, who IS this guy?

I've gone from a heart attack waiting to happen, high blood pressure on the border of needing medication, diabetes any day now, zero energy, zero libido, always sick to never sick, perfect blood pressure (104/68!), perfect blood sugar numbers, almost zero risk of heart attack, high energy with the libido of a teenager.

All this is in the course of 18 short months. I haven't worn a 34 inch waist since elementary school. I haven't been a "normal" weight since, well, ever. It's easy to lose track of it since it's the new normal (oh and, hint to guys getting older: the gym is your FRIEND!) but when I look back on how much things have changed in less than two years, it's just... astounding.

It's like I've lived my life as two different people -- and folks, that first guy sucked.

I just had to share that because I know all too well just how easy it is to become so focused on the negatives (and let's face it, if you look hard enough, you'll ALWAYS be able to find something about your body that you don't like) and overlook the incredible, unbelievable, amazing positives.

Thanks for all the kind replies, folks. I just felt like I needed to post a little positive thinking after realizing today that I don't stop to smell the roses often enough...

the best story i have read regarding weight loss. im so happy for you boo. i myself dont want a man coming up to me when i get small. i still have the same loving heart as when i was fat.

Haha!! What a blast! That's awesome. Just remember, when those girlies start flirtin'... be aloof....make 'em work for it!! Goooood tiiiimes....

What a great thread. Congratulations on all your success and how you have changed your life.

Enjoy the flirting

I am waiting for the flirting to begin...bring it on I say..

Congrats!! I enjoy reading your posts and replies to messages. You should write a book as your style is understandable and relevant - clear and entertaining. Thank you for sharing the details and how you are dealing with the TWO YOUs. I really miss the me I used to be and hope to see her again soon.

All the best to you in your journey!

That is awesome ! I think you deserve some flirting. I am sure it is flattering. When I was thin, men were overly helpful and pretended to just want to be friends when they really just wanted to get in my pants. I was trim when I got married 10 years ago but I'm not anymore. The attention from men would probably not be welcome at all since I'm happily married. I might smile and feel flattered but that is where it would end. My husband is territorial LOL. I hope that HE is happy with how I look in addition to myself. Anyone else's opinion would just be icing on the cake, but not necessary. I think for me the main things are 1) to put my diabetes in remission 2) to be more confident and outgoing. I have zero social life and don't like going places anymore because I'm insecure. I really hope that changes with this.

Always love reading your posts, its great for a male perspective on things! Sounds like you are on the last leg of the mental journey that goes along with the sleeve. i now I am still working on that aspect. People compliment a LOT lately and when I look in the mirror I still see that fat guy. But its like you say, its that little self defeating voice thats inside all of us that wants to keep you manic about some body issue.

Great post! Gives me a taste of what I have to look forward to! Congratulations!

Great post man!

Ouroborous, I am proud of you, and happy for you. You have made an impressive journey - I'm glad you are enjoying yourself now. You have to tell that critic that lives inside your head to take a hike - or he needs to learn a new line of chatter - the old stuff doesn't work any more.

I hope you enjoy all of the female attention and are lucky to find a woman that deserves you.

What a great post Ouroborous! Congratulations on all of the changes you've made in your life! What strength and courage!!!!!

I would say that the hardest part of this entire journey is really getting used to the fact that I'm just not that guy anymore (ya know, that fat, depressed, invisible, un-sexy, out-of-breath, exhausted, sick guy; if you substitute "gal" in there, I bet it might hold true for some of you ladies, too!)

That's what really amazes me most, and that's what I have to fight with, literally every day. I'm not that guy anymore, and I'm never going to be him again.

The head games we play!!! What a fun journey it is!! It's taken a while but I am no longer going to the large womens clothing dept. I still glance over there and remember how I hated to shop, how I ONLY shopped when I had to get something new. It is strange and wonderful the way people react to us now, at least I think so. I didn't feel invisable before but I think I wanted to be invisible at times. I always felt like the largest girl in the room and now, seriously, I feel like and I AM the smallest woman in the room. Wow!!! Yes, what a difference eighteen months make!!! Life is good!!! Congrats to you!!!!

The additional attention from men since losing weight just tells me it is REAL. I think women treat me differently as well. My glass is more than half full!!!!

The additional attention from men since losing weight just tells me it is REAL. I think women treat me differently as well. My glass is more than half full!!!! :smile1:

Yeah, this sort of stunned me, too; now I feel like men take me a lot more seriously. Dunno what that's all about, but it's not unwelcome, either.

People really see you as a completely different person when you're in shape vs. obese. It shouldn't be that way; we should judge everyone by their merits (brains, humor, kindness, etc.) But the cold hard facts of the matter are: looks -- and weight is a huge part of "looks" -- really are important in this society. My feeling is that I can either rant and rave about how that shouldn't be the case -- and achieve nothing, and be miserable -- or I can just do what I can to look the best I can, and enjoy the rewards.

Congrats!!!!