How bizarre. In 18 months, I've gone from an XXL (bordering on XXXL) everywhere with a 46 (going on 48) inch jeans waistline, to XL in the shoulders, L bordering on M in the waist, and M for undershorts. And my jeans are 36 inch waist, and that's getting a little baggy; I can now fit into 34's without too much work, and I expect to be comfortably wearing 34's by the summer (doubt I'll get much smaller than that, since that's basically my hip bones!)

I've basically gone from being shaped like a giant jiggling amorphous blob to having the classic male "inverted wedge" shape with a tiny little stubborn tummy roll (I HATE you, jelly roll, I hate you! I do crunches and obliques EVERY SINGLE DAY and yet still you persist...). I seriously NEVER expected that I could look in the mirror and LIKE what I see. It just didn't occur to me. I find that my self-criticism is having a hard time lately; since it can't point at all my rolls and rolls of fat, it's having to do things like point out that I'm getting older (see! you have a sprinkling of silver at your temples! see! there's a faint visible line on your brow! old man!) and the last little bits of fat (see! there's a jelly roll at your tummy and especially on your flanks... FATTY!). In some ways that's sad that I talk like that to myself (but don't we all, secretly?) but in some ways it's kinda comical that this little sad cynical part of me is having a harder and harder time finding things to complain about!

I've gone from being utterly invisible to the female gender; an "LJBF" (let's just be friends) kinda guy -- friendly, smart, nice, but sexy? no... To having the very cute 20-something barristas at the local coffee shop openly flirting with me (a 40-something guy!) whenever I go in. In fact, that's one change I have a hard time dealing with, since -- at the tender young age of 41 -- I have almost zero experience in dealing with women reacting to me physically -- you know, as a male -- as opposed to simply emotionally or mentally. The idea that some woman might think I'm physically "hot" -- well, that's a completely new experience to me. I'm not Brad Pitt, but you know... I'm not bad looking! That's an utterly novel feeling for me. But I like it, and better late than never!

I went from being unable to walk more than a couple of blocks without being in excruciating pain from sore feet, sore knees, and chafing thighs... from being unable to stand up for any length of time because it made my lower back hurt... from being unable to run for more than a couple dozen feet without becoming EXTREMELY winded... to being a guy who hits the gym five days a week for weights. A guy who walks 2.5 miles every day without breaking more than a light sheen of sweat (and that's at about 4mph, up a rather steep hill half the way). A guy who runs -- RUNS! -- for five minutes to warm up for his workouts, and is seriously considering whether or not he could actually, you know, RUN for exercise in the mornings (when it's not so goddawful cold, anyway). I mean, who IS this guy?

I've gone from a heart attack waiting to happen, high blood pressure on the border of needing medication, diabetes any day now, zero energy, zero libido, always sick to never sick, perfect blood pressure (104/68!), perfect blood sugar numbers, almost zero risk of heart attack, high energy with the libido of a teenager.

All this is in the course of 18 short months. I haven't worn a 34 inch waist since elementary school. I haven't been a "normal" weight since, well, ever. It's easy to lose track of it since it's the new normal (oh and, hint to guys getting older: the gym is your FRIEND!) but when I look back on how much things have changed in less than two years, it's just... astounding.

It's like I've lived my life as two different people -- and folks, that first guy sucked.

I just had to share that because I know all too well just how easy it is to become so focused on the negatives (and let's face it, if you look hard enough, you'll ALWAYS be able to find something about your body that you don't like) and overlook the incredible, unbelievable, amazing positives.

What an awesome post! Congratulations on your "new self" and "new life"

Yeah, this sort of stunned me, too; now I feel like men take me a lot more seriously. Dunno what that's all about, but it's not unwelcome, either.

People really see you as a completely different person when you're in shape vs. obese. It shouldn't be that way; we should judge everyone by their merits (brains, humor, kindness, etc.) But the cold hard facts of the matter are: looks -- and weight is a huge part of "looks" -- really are important in this society. My feeling is that I can either rant and rave about how that shouldn't be the case -- and achieve nothing, and be miserable -- or I can just do what I can to look the best I can, and enjoy the rewards.

I concur!!!!!!! :biggrin5:

That's what makes you awesome! Great post!

Wow what an awesome post and such a great accomplishment! I think I need to get off the couch and go get on my treadmill after reading that! What an inspiration!

Congrats on how far you have come on your "journey to health" (I say that, because I would have been that person that would have argued that I was among the healthy-obese, but since losing almost -100lbs, I cannot tell you how much BETTER I feel!) I think sometimes people mistakenly think that this journey is all about vanity (and I can't argue that it is indeed a part of it) but for me it truly has been been a journey back to health. Looking better? Well, we can't argue with the facts, right?

I think male or female we all have that internal struggle about the fact that people could not see past our OBESITY to see the real us. That has been the best part of the journey for me, is making my OUTSIDES match my INSIDES. I'm still the same person, but living in a totally different body!

Do not let the negative thoughts invade, I know we all have them, but you have come to far to let them back into your daily life now. So cheers to your health, looking and feeling better and being the best YOU that you can be.