I am doing a poll because I am trying to find a marriage that has not had some sort of cheating involved either from one spouse or another. I need your feedback guys. From the smallest indiscretion to the horrible, please tell me there is a relationship out there that had neither party cheating!! PLEASE!! Only sane people please reply.

My husband cheated on me twice. It is the most hurtful experience you could ever go through. The 1st time I ran across his credit card statement with a hotel charged expense (how dumb). I am one that truly believes that what is hidden in the dark shall come out in the light and that is what happened.

The 2nd time he cheated with a married women. The way they met was both of them including me and her husband were in the same wedding party. Believe it or not, the way I found out is because the girl suddenly died and he felt that when that happened GOD was telling him something and he confessed it too me. I had no clue this relationship was going on. Again, done in the dark...comes to the light. We are still together and I have forgiven him but I will never forget nor will I ever let my guard down. It's something that I logged onto this thread as it so relates to my life. Just an hour ago my husband and I were discussing separation. I am just not really happy and his priorities with his free time are not in order. One thing for sure is that he is the best father in the world. What should I do? I want to stay in the house but he said he wanted to stay in the house during the 1 year separation period, if we decide to go through with it. We have an 18 year old leaving for college on August 7th and a 10 year old who loves us both and would be devasted by this. Do you think it is worth it to stay together just for the sake of the children? I don't because if you are not happy how can you make someone else happy.

I have never cheated on him. I think I am a good hard working mother. I have been working for the Fed Govt. for 18 years, I cook, keep the house clean, keep groceries in the fridge, no I am not perfect but I think someone else would appreciate me much more! Advice is needed. Thank you for your honesty. I am trying to make the best decision and way all the options etc.. LOL

My husband and I have never cheated and we are more in love today then when we first met 30 years ago! It is our committment to eachother and before God that keeps us together 4ever.

My husband and I have never cheated and we are more in love today then when we first met 30 years ago! It is our committment to eachother and before God that keeps us together 4ever. :clap2:

sorry girls-

My opinion-

I think most men do cheat. Even if it is only once and it is a one night stand and it happened many years ago. Sure seems like alot of women here think they have never been cheated on. Someone on the first page said something I definately agree with. " The wife is always the last to know". I bet more of us have been cheated on then realize it. Sad to say but the truth. Like I said, MY OPINION.

Well some statistics from anonymous polls have indicated that 80% of men have cheated on a common law or married spouse, and 60% of women have. Also that only about 30% of women know or suspect they've been cheated on, and 10% of men. Who knows how accurate it is or not. It's something I heard about 5 years ago, and can't for the life of me even remember the reference - so couldn't say how reliable the source was, though the numbers have stuck with me.

Married almost ten years and have never cheated. My stand on cheating is this. Marriage is really hard and both parties wrong each other all along the way. But, when it comes to cheating it seems that the person who is unfaithful always looks to be the scum of the earth. It doesn't seem to matter what existed in that marriage, even abuse. The one who cheats looks like the bad guy. I always said that for me it wasn't going to go down that way! I have been way to decent of a wife. So, while I don't feel above cheating (it seems like it takes a few years of marriage to realize that) I just wouldn't. There have been many times that it momentarily sounded like a good lapse of judgement to partake in but I think the fact that both my parents cheated and I saw first hand the damage it has on so many people besides the people involved really kept me aware of why it just wouldn't work for me. Wow, good topic...but can I ask what motivated it???

It was a joke...sorry it didn't come across as such. This forum is getting a bit fiesty for me.__________________

Maybe you should find another forum.

Funny Duddies,

I truly respect your opinions but I think your are wrong. I do not think faith will have to do with it. Men will cheat no matter of thier religious beliefs. You can always look at the current news and see ministers and priest cheating, lying and stealing. So let's not go that route. I am always open on this board and honest. Any man that would get out of a 35 year marriage and marry two weeks later to another is a fool and p@@@y whipped!!!

I very much agree with you. I think this poll is BS too. BTW. I am 27 years old. Married 11 years in september. Yes those of you who are counting, been married since I was 16 years old.

Oh I want to clarify something on my stance here. I am not saying that just the religious hold marriage at a higher standard. I am not saying that at all!! I am only stating that the reason I think that the poll results are as high as they are is due to the fact that we have such a high population of spiritual people on the board. I do not believe for a second that you will have a better marriage soley because you are in a religious marriage. :tea:

I definately respect your opinion. but my opinion is that the results are so high is because not everybody is telling the truth. I know it seems so easy to tell the truth because you are writing in anonymity but it is not that way for all. Not to mention, some people's family members know that their own family members are part of this message board. That alone would make me want to lie.

Never cheated, or had my husband cheat on me. Never been tempted to either.

Ladies.

Men usually cheat because the opportunity arises and also because they are not getting what they want from home! Men , like women like to know they still have what it takes to attract the opposite sex. Men do not want another relationship if they are married. They just want some fun!!!

Yeah Kimilicious, you're right about the porn. It was a bad example. The reason I used it is because Promise Keepers is a large Christian organization, and for a lot of Christians, porn is not acceptable. And yet, almost every man had viewed it. So I guess I was just trying to say that even though probably most of the men thought it was wrong, they couldn't withstand the temptation. Just another example that we're all human.

Can I delete my freakin' posts??????

NEVER delete your post! It shows that we all have different views of this world and I love hearing them all! That is why I and hopefully other people start threads to have conversations and hear others ideas and opinions. Please never stop having an opinion and when asked to share please do, there are plenty of people that agree with you. I am not a religious person but I am a moral and downright faithful person, lover and friend so please don't misunderstand my ramblings about the cheating as not agreeing, I am just trying to see all sides!

I haven't cheated on my wife either. Can't say that I haven't wanted to at times {mostly because of what our relationship has changed to, not becuase I have anyone of interest outside our marriage. <honestly don't think I could find anyone that WOULD have an interest in me besides her these days, even with all the lost weight>.

I couldn't agree with you more there. I don't think my wife understands what she means to me.

On the reverse side of the coin I found out over a year ago how much I don't mean to her {straight from her own mouth, can't ask for anything more then that, now can you?}.

I feel like there is a lot she is keeping from me, and she thinks the same about me. I feel like there is no trust left in the relationship, if this can even be called a relationship anymore.

I still don't understand why I am with someone who "no longer has an emotional attachment to me". Except, it would be far too expensive and messy a divorce at this point, also (like already mentioned) I have no interrest in anyone else, and have no one that is interested in me (that I am aware of; and not that it would change my mind if there were}.

Still trying to give her time to determine "where we stand"

So in answer to your original question, "Is there a relationship that has survived lapband?" I guess you could put me down for one who feels the answer is no.

I've lost 60 lbs, and a person whom I once loved, that no longer loves me, and that I find it hard to sleep in the same bed with someone who has no feelings for me. I still love her, but what good does it do my heart to have a 'one sided' love affair?:faint:

Sorry soo long winded

Pattman , I am so sorry you are going through this. No amount of money is worth being in a place so unloving. Are ya'll seeking counseling or putting a plan into place to make things better? I would like to know some ideas.

I fin it interesting that people are so adamant about these results not being correct. What if they are? Is that going to shatter your world? What if this board is actually one filled mainly with people who would not cheat? Is that a bad thing? I don't understand how an anonymous poll can yeild results and y'all automatically assume that it is all BS because it does not fit into your lifestyle.

I think this is getting really funny with how fast so many are willing to say that because one poll yeilded results saying 80% cheat, and our poll is not reflecting that, that the 80% MUST be right. Why not count yourself lucky that you are surrounded by people in really good relationships. Love and respect abound!

My husband cheated on me twice. It is the most hurtful experience you could ever go through. The 1st time I ran across his credit card statement with a hotel charged expense (how dumb). I am one that truly believes that what is hidden in the dark shall come out in the light and that is what happened.

The 2nd time he cheated with a married women. The way they met was both of them including me and her husband were in the same wedding party. Believe it or not, the way I found out is because the girl suddenly died and he felt that when that happened GOD was telling him something and he confessed it too me. I had no clue this relationship was going on. Again, done in the dark...comes to the light. We are still together and I have forgiven him but I will never forget nor will I ever let my guard down. It's something that I logged onto this thread as it so relates to my life. Just an hour ago my husband and I were discussing separation. I am just not really happy and his priorities with his free time are not in order. One thing for sure is that he is the best father in the world. What should I do? I want to stay in the house but he said he wanted to stay in the house during the 1 year separation period, if we decide to go through with it. We have an 18 year old leaving for college on August 7th and a 10 year old who loves us both and would be devasted by this. Do you think it is worth it to stay together just for the sake of the children? I don't because if you are not happy how can you make someone else happy.

I have never cheated on him. I think I am a good hard working mother. I have been working for the Fed Govt. for 18 years, I cook, keep the house clean, keep groceries in the fridge, no I am not perfect but I think someone else would appreciate me much more! Advice is needed. Thank you for your honesty. I am trying to make the best decision and way all the options etc.. LOL

To me, and in my own opinion I couldn't even live with the man that cheated on me, I don't care how old the kids are or how long you have been married. 1 year of seperation? That seems lofty. TO be away from each other so long and to think that you could make it back from that. I believe whoever is going to be taking care of the children should have the house, so long as they can afford it on their own. Depending on what state you are in you are entitiled to child support and alimony. The children can't be happy if their parents aren't happy. I don't have children myself but come from a broken home. At least both of your children are old enough to understand what is going on and I can bet you they know a lot more than you have told them. This will probably be one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make and I wish you well in your thoughts and my only logical advise I can give you is to get a lawyer right away! Good luck in your decisions.