I am doing a poll because I am trying to find a marriage that has not had some sort of cheating involved either from one spouse or another. I need your feedback guys. From the smallest indiscretion to the horrible, please tell me there is a relationship out there that had neither party cheating!! PLEASE!! Only sane people please reply.

Ladies.

Men usually cheat because the opportunity arises and also because they are not getting what they want from home! Men , like women like to know they still have what it takes to attract the opposite sex. Men do not want another relationship if they are married. They just want some fun!!!

If my husband waited 10 yeas for me ( & fun), I trust that he is not going to go elsewhere for sex.

Why is it wrong for people to have faith in their partner?

Pattman , I am so sorry you are going through this. No amount of money is worth being in a place so unloving. Are ya'll seeking counseling or putting a plan into place to make things better? I would like to know some ideas.

I've asked her about counseling (both seperately and/or together) and she has told me 'that she's looking in to it' - that is as far as things go. She has already accused me of cheating on her, and I am at the point where I really don't even care anymore.

I realize these are just excuses we are both using, but it is also a big part of the truth:

1. My job takes a lot out of me:

a. for her she works 5am to 3pm 5 to 6 days a week.

b. I work til 6 or 8 most days

c. my days off are spread apart, and during the week (tues and Thur) she has weekends off

But like I already said, this is the tip of the excuses. These days I just go to work, do stuff around the house as best I can, and when she "feels like not being alone in bed" she crawls over to come see me. That's pretty much the extent of things. I've gotten tired of getting pushed away, even by her subconscious) so don't bother her before or after she's gone to sleep.

It not fun, but does it really matter anymore?

I fin it interesting that people are so adamant about these results not being correct. What if they are? Is that going to shatter your world? !

Would it shatter YOUR world if the results were incorrect?

It doesn't :tea: I am commenting on the fact that these results have driven people to post that they have to be wrong. Commenting on the human condition. Frankly i could care less what is going on in someone else's relationship. No offense people, and I think it is great that those who have stuck together have, but I have my own relationship to focus on. My comments are soley focused on the negative aspect that some people have towards the results because, in some cases, it doesn't ring true to the life they lead off this site. I find that facinating!!

I thought this was a board where we could express opnions negative or positive. I could be wrong. I'm a newbie when it comes to this message board or any message board for that matter. :tea: I enjoy playing devil's advocate. Is that not okay?

Results will obviously be biased since I am on a lapband website. If I was just taking a poll from msnbc it would not be so biased. There are obviously more women on this site than men and to put it plainly (please don't throw your shoe at me) We are all mostly overweight and dealing with those issues. Overweight people ( I FEEL) have less opportunity to cheat because there is less opportunity for for advances as it is than say your regular fit and hot person. That is from my own experince from skinny and hot to fat and ok. The advances and opportunity are way down therefore the opportunity to actually cheat is way down. I know that most will disagree with this statement but it is just my own living through it to see it. Any thoughts??

So this poll shows so far that around 44% of people have either cheated or been cheated on.

Things I wonder about / food for thought.

If statistics say 80% of men cheat, 60% of women cheat.

Would our statistics be different if we had an options in the poll for -

- Both me and my spouse have cheated.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have been cheated on in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have cheated in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but in previous relationships I have been cheated on, and I have cheated.

- I don't know that I've been cheated on, but I highly suspect that I may have in my current marriage.

-I don't know that I've been cheated on, but highly suspect I have been cheated on in the past.

The other thing I find interesting in is the study I heard, they say the people who know/suspect they've been cheated on is only 30% of women and 10% of men. In our poll 25% of people say they know they have been cheated on. (Not just suspected but know) - which would actually be a higher representation than the study numbers. In this area of the study.

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

Again, I have no idea how accurate that info is. Though it seems a lot of people here have heard the 80% of men cheat thing as well.

I thought this was a board where we could express opnions negative or positive. I could be wrong. I'm a newbie when it comes to this message board or any message board for that matter. :tea: I enjoy playing devil's advocate. Is that not okay?

Simmer down now. I never said that you can't express your opinion. I simply asked for explination, and for the thoughts behin your opinion. Plus I have state mine. Don't think for a second because I challenge your opinion I am telling you you can't express it. I am simply questioning the basis for your opinion like people do in debates.

An leila, that is a thing that makes you go hmmmm, but keep in min that it would only stand that people are not being truthfull if the same people who clicked answers for the poll also answered in the thread. This is not a controlle enough environment to make those considerations. I myself have not answered the poll, only posted. I rarely answer many polls. So that will skew the results some. Also, your percentage totalys are affected by the other poll answers being checked more often. If 30 people post, but 80 people answer the poll, the percentages will vary.

Simmer down now. I never said that you can't express your opinion. I simply asked for explination, and for the thoughts behin your opinion. Plus I have state mine. Don't think for a second because I challenge your opinion I am telling you you can't express it. I am simply questioning the basis for your opinion like people do in debates.

simmer down? :tea: I'm sorry, did I seem excited?:bowl:

well everyone, I would love to stay and chat, but I have to head home from a long night of working graveyards. I like this thread. Very interesting. (Would be so much better without all the pain of cheating for those of you that has happened to.) Can't wait to get back online tonight and see what more has been posted. Night ya'll.

FunnyDuddies - I agree this is definitely not a controlled enough environment. And our poll is likely inaccurate. One just wonders in which ways it's innaccurate, and what people are more likely to represent in a forum such as this.

I think it very unlikely that people would not answer the poll anonymously, but then post that they have cheated, or both have cheated. I do think in general people are more likely to present a positive relationship scenario in a post, with pride, in this environment than they are to present a cheating one. I think the people who have come out in the posts and talked about cheating in their lives have shown an unusual level of courage and open-ness.

So in general, I think I'm somewhat inclined to think that our poll under-represents the actual level of cheating going on. But that, is just a guess and gut feeling at best. No way to know for sure.

Stuff like this fascinates the heck out of me! LOL!

I have never cheated and neither has my hubby. This is a weird thread.

So this poll shows so far that around 44% of people have either cheated or been cheated on.

Things I wonder about / food for thought.

If statistics say 80% of men cheat, 60% of women cheat.

Would our statistics be different if we had an options in the poll for -

- Both me and my spouse have cheated.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have been cheated on in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but I have cheated in past relationships.

- No cheating in my current marriage but in previous relationships I have been cheated on, and I have cheated.

- I don't know that I've been cheated on, but I highly suspect that I may have in my current marriage.

-I don't know that I've been cheated on, but highly suspect I have been cheated on in the past.

The other thing I find interesting in is the study I heard, they say the people who know/suspect they've been cheated on is only 30% of women and 10% of men. In our poll 25% of people say they know they have been cheated on. (Not just suspected but know) - which would actually be a higher representation than the study numbers. In this area of the study.

Things that make you go hmmmmmm.

Again, I have no idea how accurate that info is. Though it seems a lot of people here have heard the 80% of men cheat thing as well.

It would have been more accurate for me. I did cheat on a long-term relationship when I was in my early twenties. I got caught red-handed so to speak, and the pain I say on his face was terrible. So, I would be in that stat, but I also have never cheated on my husband(different guy) and I've never even been tempted to.

I've never cheated but I've wanted to. Bad I know. Just being selfish I guess.

sorry girls-

My opinion-

I think most men do cheat. Even if it is only once and it is a one night stand and it happened many years ago. Sure seems like alot of women here think they have never been cheated on. Someone on the first page said something I definately agree with. " The wife is always the last to know". I bet more of us have been cheated on then realize it. Sad to say but the truth. Like I said, MY OPINION.

I agree with nearly everything you said, except, the wife is the last to know. In preparing to conduct surveillance on a cheating husband, I generally interview the wife. Normally, the wife doesn't put all the clues together without the help of an investigator, however, when reviewing his recent history, the wife is able to recall he has begun to wear aftershave, began working out, works lots of overtime, buys new clothes, takes up a sport (bowling, softball, etc.) which gives him time away from home, closes the door when talking on the telephone, etc. Most of us have very distint patterns, or habits, and when an affair begins, those patterns change. Many times wives don't pay attention to small signs of behavior changes, but when it all comes out, most women admit there were signs early on that were dismissed.

Heliosphere Bag

dr. verboonen, Tijuana

Inserted 06/30/06

06/30/06 - 230

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