How is weight loss for people over 50? Can we still expect to lose 1 to 2 pounds per week with the band?

You will lose faster and stay less hungry if you eat 30 grams of carbs or less per day. Everyone says to concentrate on the protein and veggies to lose and not get hungry.

My first husband, and the only one I actually married, and not just common-lawed, died 3 years ago this month. We got married when we were in our early 20s and our marriage only lasted five years. He was a musician and they don't tend to make reliable mates. Nevertheless, after enough water went under the bridge we resumed our friendship and he eventually became involved with a splendid woman who is now his widow. He introduced her to me and we ended up becoming very close friends. Apart from our relationships with him and his family we have a lot in common and so we remain very, very close.

They had a long, long relationship and it had its ups and its downs - he was a musician, remember - but his death was a bad one and his widow, my wife-in-law as I often call her, suffered acutely both while he was dying and for the first couple of years after his loss. There is a phrase, "mad with grief," and there were many times when my friend was in that very state. To see someone go through this makes you fear losing your own mate; it is a foreshadowing for it makes you aware that relationships can and will be ruptured eventually. I find myself writing this in order to let those of us - the over 50 bunch - who have experienced widowhood know that I am aware, I think, that you have undergone an experience which is significantly different - infinitely more painful, infinitely more profound - than the rest of us.

And now for the shallow stuff: I just came back from seeing my doc and while I was there I weighed myself and I now weigh 155 lbs! Yippee!

Marie - Welcome! Yes, there a plenty of younger bandsters, but we've been there and back so I think it is like older people going back to college. We are serious, but willing to laugh at ourselves. Good luck with your upcoming surgery, I am sure it will go well.

green - I am amazed that everyone has a story. I think it is hard to quantify grief. It was much more powerful than I had ever imagined after Ira died. I'm not sure if I breathed let alone lived for at least three years. People tell you to be kind to yourself, but I turned my grief inward and ate to console (blanket) myself. It is only now, after 6 1/2 years that I am beginning to hear the birds sing and leaves woosh in the trees. Thank you for the acknowledgement.

I am so proud of you at 155. That sounds soooooo good to me. My turn will come. Rejoice and enjoy your inner balance. Won't it be great when the outside looks like the inside feels?

Hugs to you all,

Michelle

Michelle, I can't begin to imagine what it would be like if my husband died. I went through a lot when my sister and mom died, but losing DH would be like part of me dying. I am so glad to hear that you are finally beginning to see the beauty of life again and to care enough that you want to be healthy and happy again. You seem to have such a beautiful soul and you are so supportive and helpful to others. I am very glad you're a part of the group at LBT. Hugs to you too!

Green: Your report from your recent doctor visit gave me a horrible jolt. You and I were, at one time, at about the same weight with practically the same weight loss since our surgeries in Sept. Now I'm still where I was and you've moved on and I realize that I could also have been at 155 now if I had not lost it somewhere along the line. So don't just be happy about where you are, rejoice with all your might!! You've accomplished a whole lot and it's great!! My hat is off to you!

Anyway, I was thinking about you, Carlene. I can read your words, but now I can put an accent to them!

That is too funny! I once got into a discussion about root beer in a cafeteria line with a man from Canada. It was a brand he'd never heard of and he asked me if it was good. Of course, I was rattling on like the crazy lady I am, and finally stopped long enough to draw a breath. "Do you like root beer?" I asked him.

"Not especially," he said, "But I could stand here all day and listen to you talk."

Carlene, are you single now? You look fabulous and if you're single I bet you can get a lot of dates. I think it would be so uplifting to have a man look at me in a pleasing way.

Thank you, Denise. You are too kind.

I married a wonderful man in 2002, after being single (again) for 4 years.

I was not even looking for a boyfriend when I met my husband, as so often happens. I had become quite reclusive, without even realizing it, and my kids nagged me to "get out" and "do things". I joined a support group for widowed persons, and met some great people, but I had to finally move on from that because if you don't, you become defined by your widowhood.

I jined a singles group sponsored by my church and that's where I met Bob. It was so junior high school....he was dating someone else in the group when I first met him. After a year, we both resigned from the club so we could see each other without causing too much drama.

Before Bob, I was the queen of first dates. I did fine that first time, because no one expects a lot at the end of a first date, but after that, things always got too intense, too quickly and I would jump ship as soon as that happened.

I think the difference was that I knew Bob for a whole year before we started dating. The first time he kissed me was in the church parking lot!

I heard somewhere that love is just friendship that catches on fire, and I think there is a lot of truth to that.

Here's a picture of the happy couple (and Lucy, the Shih Tzu). This was our Christmas card for 2006.

the over 50 bunch - who have experienced widowhood know that I am aware, I think, that you have undergone an experience which is significantly different - infinitely more painful, infinitely more profound - than the rest of us.

Thank you Green for saying that. People always tell me I must really be

a strong person to have gone through that. Like I had a choice? You have

to get up in the morning now matter now miserable you feel. For years

after I lost the 2nd man I loved, all I did was sit on the couch and eat.

My therapist says depression is anger turned inward.

Actually, the thing that brought me out of it was exercise. I finally decided

to try to take some of the weight off and started exercising like crazy. I didn't lose weight, but I started feeling really good. It's true that those

endorphins are the best antidepressant.

Green: Your report from your recent doctor visit gave me a horrible jolt. You and I were, at one time, at about the same weight with practically the same weight loss since our surgeries in Sept. Now I'm still where I was and you've moved on and I realize that I could also have been at 155 now if I had not lost it somewhere along the line. So don't just be happy about where you are, rejoice with all your might!! You've accomplished a whole lot and it's great!! My hat is off to you!

Hah! Re the latest weight loss, I think that much of that is due to a bowel problem I picked up in Mexico and still have. The problem showed up a few days after I came home which was over a month ago now. I went into denial about it when my doctor said that she wasn't going to prescribe me any meds until she knew what was causing it. This meant that I would have do something so utterly repellent to me that I just couldn't bring myself do it and that was to harvest my own poop. Indeed I have the kit sitting here still unopened. I figured that I would wait it out and live on Immodium. Well, it has been a horrible 5 weeks and during that time I got a cold which also wouldn't go away but turned into a lung infection. I have been feeling very lousy, using up a lot of paper products - my sinuses have been in overdrive as well - and living on Immodium, Cough & Cold syrup with codiene, and Gravol for the feelings of nausea which I have also had. I haven't had much of an appetite and anything I do eat doesn't stick around for long enough to do any damage. I think that this is how I lost those 15 lbs, girls!

Anyhow, I finally saw my doc. I have to have an ultrasound of my liver. I had a breathing test which I flunked and now I am on two different ventilators. I had a bunch of blood tests done. And I really do have to get over my squeamish princessy self and harvest that damn - ugh! - poop! :help:And the only reason I am not on antibiotics for the lung infection was that I used up the ones my husband had been issued with for his trip to Mexico. They killed the lung infection but they haven't done much for my guts. blehhhh! Green is not happy at the moment :(except with her svelt body.

After I get fixed up I am going for another fill. I am feeling kinda loosey-goosey at the moment.

Thank you, Denise. You are too kind.

I married a wonderful man in 2002, after being single (again) for 4 years.

I heard somewhere that love is just friendship that catches on fire, and I think there is a lot of truth to that.

I wish our church had a singles club. I live in a really small town and

it's hard to meet people.

I love that "love is freindship that catches on fire" That is very true!

It's interesting to learn how many of us were widowed. I lost my husband to melanoma at age 38, leaving me to raise two adopted children, one with emotional and learning problems. Food was my comfort, my reward, my stimulant, and my anesthetic. I started the work on my food issues well before I had the surgery, and when I finally did it, I was ready to interact with the world in a different way. I am now in a wonderful relationship with a man I'd have missed out on had he asked me to see him when I was 140 lbs. overweight. We were first loves at age 14 and he never saw me that fat. I'd have declined the offer as I'd have been too embarrassed at my appearance. Interestingly, he has been fighting prostate cancer (though at this point he's doing very well), but I'm not even afraid of the potential for losing him. I guess knowing I got through it once, I can risk it again.

Hi Gang - I am 52 - going for my 1st consultation 5/31 - Was reading this board on Friday to see what lapband is like for us 50'er. Read alot of stories that I could identify with - I am scared to go to this appointment - I am afraid of not being able to eat and taking the easy way (i no it's not but - after reading the other post you understand where i am coming from) I am tried all the time I sleep the weekend's away - just don't have the energy to do things and it seem like as soon as i sit on the couch - the next thing i know i am asleep. I am sick of my big fat tummy - that menopause tummy .. Well I am going to keep that appointment - and i had to post to this thread as it is hard to find (so now i will get notices when new post are done). My lunch hour is over (ate 2 bbq ck thighs and could take a nap - eating does that to me) Will ck back to nite to hear all your words of wisdom.. I need them.

Janet

Thank you Green for saying that. People always tell me I must really be

a strong person to have gone through that. Like I had a choice? You have

to get up in the morning now matter now miserable you feel. For years

after I lost the 2nd man I loved, all I did was sit on the couch and eat.

My therapist says depression is anger turned inward.

Actually, the thing that brought me out of it was exercise. I finally decided

to try to take some of the weight off and started exercising like crazy. I didn't lose weight, but I started feeling really good. It's true that those

endorphins are the best antidepressant.

Hello Denise, I am actually replying to you to ask about your experience w/the Coos Bay doc. My friend lives in Newport but at this point plans on coming here (Las Vegas) and I will drive her to Mexico w/Dr. Aceves who did mine. Any thoughts? thanks. anniejo