How do you see the world?

[lash44 313]

Now that you have accomplished your weight loss goals and maintaining your new body mass. What's your feeling about folks who are obese or overweight. What goes through your mind when you see a 350 pound lady in the super marker line, or you notice a nice young man that happens to be a double plus size standing at the bus stop.

Do you see the world differently now that you don't have to shop at Lane Bryant or The XL Shop for Men. What going on between your ears? Should you advise others who are morbidly obese to the avenues of successful weight management. Or should you preserve your personal privacy and keep your individual achievements only to your immediate environment. You have succeeded in the area where others have failed.

Let's face it - there is a new part of you with a different mindset. What you do with it and how you handle it is entirely and utterly up to you.

How do you see the world?

Lash

[nraeh 23]

Now that you have accomplished your weight loss goals and maintaining your new body mass. What's your feeling about folks who are obese or overweight. What goes through your mind when you see a 350 pound lady in the super marker line, or you notice a nice young man that happens to be a double plus size standing at the bus stop.

Do you see the world differently now that you don't have to shop at Lane Bryant or The XL Shop for Men. What going on between your ears? Should you advise others who are morbidly obese to the avenues of successful weight management. Or should you preserve your personal privacy and keep your individual achievements only to your immediate environment. You have succeeded in the area where others have failed.

Let's face it - there is a new part of you with a different mindset. What you do with it and how you handle it is entirely and utterly up to you.

How do you see the world?

Lash

Very Interesting!!! I am only 2 1/2 months out and I have thought of this very thing. For some reason, I see things differently now. I have noticed that people don't look at my plate of food when I go out to eat. I noticed that no one mentions that I am not eating much - even those that have no idea I have had surgery. I do notice people who are very overweight (like I still am) and want to tell them there is a solution but I don't say anything to anyone unless someone asks me. I want to tell everyone about my surgery and what a difference it has made in my life already even tho I still have a lot to lose. I have had absolutely NO complications so I feel like a crusader for the sleeve. I have to remember that there are those much younger than I am that have not had it as easy as I have. I also have to remember that it took me 10 yrs to decide to do something about my weight. But I am so glad I have taken charge of it now. I couldn't be any happier.

[lash44 313]

Thank you very much for such a response and congrads on your surgery.

Very Interesting!!! I am only 2 1/2 months out and I have thought of this very thing. For some reason, I see things differently now. I have noticed that people don't look at my plate of food when I go out to eat. I noticed that no one mentions that I am not eating much - even those that have no idea I have had surgery. I do notice people who are very overweight (like I still am) and want to tell them there is a solution but I don't say anything to anyone unless someone asks me. I want to tell everyone about my surgery and what a difference it has made in my life already even tho I still have a lot to lose. I have had absolutely NO complications so I feel like a crusader for the sleeve. I have to remember that there are those much younger than I am that have not had it as easy as I have. I also have to remember that it took me 10 yrs to decide to do something about my weight. But I am so glad I have taken charge of it now. I couldn't be any happier.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I really feel for folks who are morbidly obese...I do wonder if they would want the surgery if they knew... or if their insurance would cover it, or if they would want the sleeve or band or RNY.... or if they could get the work time off, or afford to pay out of pocket....I want to tell them all, but of course don't... unless they ask of course. I do run into quite a few women who have had some kind of weight loss surgery... Most have had RNY and I met one nurse who had lost 100 pounds with the band and seemed happy as a clam. I couldn't help but think "Girl friend, I a m sooo happy for you, but that band is going to bite you in the butt some day". I have talked about my surgery with a girl from the gym, who is prety sporty, and she said she never imagined that I was ever fat... she just saw me as sporty and fit. Its all very strange.

[lash44 313]

Fascinating reply!

I really feel for folks who are morbidly obese...I do wonder if they would want the surgery if they knew... or if their insurance would cover it, or if they would want the sleeve or band or RNY.... or if they could get the work time off, or afford to pay out of pocket....I want to tell them all, but of course don't... unless they ask of course. I do run into quite a few women who have had some kind of weight loss surgery... Most have had RNY and I met one nurse who had lost 100 pounds with the band and seemed happy as a clam. I couldn't help but think "Girl friend, I a m sooo happy for you, but that band is going to bite you in the butt some day". I have talked about my surgery with a girl from the gym, who is prety sporty, and she said she never imagined that I was ever fat... she just saw me as sporty and fit. Its all very strange.

[SFOTraveler 42]

I feel compelled to tell them about my surgery and offer them info. I literally have to stop myself and remind myself that it is none of my business. I also wonder if they are the kind of person who is lik e"im big and beautiful" or if they want to be skinny. Overall though, I am sad for them because being severely overweight/obese sucked for me.... I can't imagine it being fun for them.

[CT Fats 82]

Great question! I am ending the process of getting approved for the sleeve, but I have seen my mentality change since I began. I already see myself as a different and thinner person. Often when I see morbidly obese people, I wonder if they try and excercise or if they know about the various surgeries availible. We have all tried and failed at dieting and there is no shame in opting for WLS, however I have always had a hard time empathizing with obese people who do nothing for themselves. I know the pain and stigma being overweight carries its a battle I have been fighting all my life. I consider anyone going through any process to lose lbs a brother/sister in arms. But those who chose to do nothing and except their lot in life frustrate me a great deal.

[lash44 313]

SFOTraveler

There are a lot of folks whom went through WLS feel the exact way you do. I think it's human to want to assist others. Yet to most, being over weight is personal and private. I don't know if considered rude to approach a person to discus their weight.

Very interesting.

Lash

I feel compelled to tell them about my surgery and offer them info. I literally have to stop myself and remind myself that it is none of my business. I also wonder if they are the kind of person who is lik e"im big and beautiful" or if they want to be skinny. Overall though, I am sad for them because being severely overweight/obese sucked for me.... I can't imagine it being fun for them.

[Tiffykins 672]

I honestly don't see the world any differently. Call it cold, brash, whatever, but it's NOT my place, or my responsibility to reach out to other people who I think would benefit from WLS. However, I have been approached, and asked "how'd you do it, what did you have done?" and at that point, I've been very open about it.

I know several people who look at obese people with disgust, can't stand to watch them eat, and for me, that's just absurd. I don't watch other people eat. I didn't pre-op, and it surely didn't change after I lost weight. I just don't pay attention to other people that closely. The only time that I've had a different perspective is now that I am pregnant as a skinny woman, my heart breaks for women who are obese/morbidly obese and pregnant. They look miserable, they have difficulty moving around. Hell, I have trouble moving around and I'm a stinkin' size 4/6 in maternity clothes. I was obese when I was pregnant with my 13 yr old son, and I remember how miserable I was during that pregnancy. It's not that I want to tell them there is an option for them to lose weight, but my heart does hurt for them because I know how difficult pregnancy is at any weight, but add an extra 100lbs, and it's downright misery.

The world does not revolve me, and my world doesn't revolve other people. So, I pay little to zero attention to what other people are doing with their bodies. This mindset didn't change post-op. Maybe I'm just too self-centered to worry about other people that I do not know, or have some sort of relationship with on a personal level. I have been asked to speak at the informational seminars, and at support group meetings. I always decline because I'm a bit too abrasive, and do not coddle people. I don't think I'd be well received in a group of pre-op/post-ops who believe surgery is going to fix their food issues, or those that whine about not losing weight while they shovel in cheesecake and hos hos for Snacks.

[Nancy Rivers 24]

I have never cared what others think about me nor do I make judgements about other people based on their looks. Call me a cold-hearted b**** but that's just who I am. I've had people judge me based on my looks - thinking I can't do things and I have proven them wrong time and again (like my college professors thinking I couldn't do field biology which required a LOT of walking in different environments and terrains but they allowed me in the class anyway because it was a requirement - both told me after they were shocked that I could keep up with them). Granted, it's obvious that I'm heavy, but most people have never guessed how heavy I really was because of the way I carry my weight. I happened to be rather happy with myself the way I was despite being morbidly obese. But, that's why I don't judge others based on their looks.

[lash44 313]

Tiff,

Your view point is worthy of note. By-the-way best wishes and con-grads on your pregnancy.

Lash

I honestly don't see the world any differently. Call it cold, brash, whatever, but it's NOT my place, or my responsibility to reach out to other people who I think would benefit from WLS. However, I have been approached, and asked "how'd you do it, what did you have done?" and at that point, I've been very open about it.

I know several people who look at obese people with disgust, can't stand to watch them eat, and for me, that's just absurd. I don't watch other people eat. I didn't pre-op, and it surely didn't change after I lost weight. I just don't pay attention to other people that closely. The only time that I've had a different perspective is now that I am pregnant as a skinny woman, my heart breaks for women who are obese/morbidly obese and pregnant. They look miserable, they have difficulty moving around. Hell, I have trouble moving around and I'm a stinkin' size 4/6 in maternity clothes. I was obese when I was pregnant with my 13 yr old son, and I remember how miserable I was during that pregnancy. It's not that I want to tell them there is an option for them to lose weight, but my heart does hurt for them because I know how difficult pregnancy is at any weight, but add an extra 100lbs, and it's downright misery.

The world does not revolve me, and my world doesn't revolve other people. So, I pay little to zero attention to what other people are doing with their bodies. This mindset didn't change post-op. Maybe I'm just too self-centered to worry about other people that I do not know, or have some sort of relationship with on a personal level. I have been asked to speak at the informational seminars, and at support group meetings. I always decline because I'm a bit too abrasive, and do not coddle people. I don't think I'd be well received in a group of pre-op/post-ops who believe surgery is going to fix their food issues, or those that whine about not losing weight while they shovel in cheesecake and hos hos for Snacks.

[thinoneday 445]

Now that you have accomplished your weight loss goals and maintaining your new body mass. What's your feeling about folks who are obese or overweight. What goes through your mind when you see a 350 pound lady in the super marker line, or you notice a nice young man that happens to be a double plus size standing at the bus stop.

Do you see the world differently now that you don't have to shop at Lane Bryant or The XL Shop for Men. What going on between your ears? Should you advise others who are morbidly obese to the avenues of successful weight management. Or should you preserve your personal privacy and keep your individual achievements only to your immediate environment. You have succeeded in the area where others have failed.

Let's face it - there is a new part of you with a different mindset. What you do with it and how you handle it is entirely and utterly up to you.

How do you see the world?

Lash

Well the last time we went here, I was called a hypocrite and literally told to get off the forum cause it was a place of support and not my opinion, but that's ok. . . here is my opinion anyhow. . .even when I was 350 lbs 18 months ago, I didn't find obese men attractive at all. . .never, i've always thought fat men where "ugly" . . . i was really stuck up towards them, even though there i was fatter then ever myself . . . with the women, well whatever to them, was my opinion. . . now that I am past goal and have lost my poundage, when i see an obese woman i get a instant surge of "disqust" but it goes away as fast as it came. . .it then goes into pity and feeling sorry for them, cause I myself know how they got there. . . they are unhappy and most of them use food as a comforter. . . there are many many unhappy people in the world. . . ugh. . . I haven't changed my views about men, why I don't know always have been like this, could be because of the way I have been treated by men ever since i've been younger, they were so mean and ugly towards me and as I got fatter to "hide" it got burtally worse, but whatever, those days are over now and to me i guess payback is sweet, but I'm getting better. Guess you can call it eye for an eye. . tit for tat, whatever. . .Call me whatever you wish but ya'll asked. . . so am I prejudice? Maybe. . . am I judgemental? Maybe. . . but I am me and will always be. . . what you see here is what you'll see at my house, in the store, in the park. . . I am what sets me apart from everyone else and makes me unique. . .God Bless

[Tiffykins 672]

Well the last time we went here, I was called a hypocrite and literally told to get off the forum cause it was a place of support and not my opinion, but that's ok. . . here is my opinion anyhow. . .even when I was 350 lbs 18 months ago, I didn't find obese men attractive at all. . .never, i've always thought fat men where "ugly" . . . i was really stuck up towards them, even though there i was fatter then ever myself . . . with the women, well whatever to them, was my opinion. . . now that I am past goal and have lost my poundage, when i see an obese woman i get a instant surge of "disqust" but it goes away as fast as it came. . .it then goes into pity and feeling sorry for them, cause I myself know how they got there. . . they are unhappy and most of them use food as a comforter. . . there are many many unhappy people in the world. . . ugh. . . I haven't changed my views about men, why I don't know always have been like this, could be because of the way I have been treated by men ever since i've been younger, they were so mean and ugly towards me and as I got fatter to "hide" it got burtally worse, but whatever, those days are over now and to me i guess payback is sweet, but I'm getting better. Guess you can call it eye for an eye. . tit for tat, whatever. . .Call me whatever you wish but ya'll asked. . . so am I prejudice? Maybe. . . am I judgemental? Maybe. . . but I am me and will always be. . . what you see here is what you'll see at my house, in the store, in the park. . . I am what sets me apart from everyone else and makes me unique. . .God Bless

I never found obese/overweight men attractive either, and didn't date fat men. It's a preference just like race, ethnicity, or religion. Heck, you've seen pics of my husband, he's has a rockin' body, and it was brought up on OH a couple of days ago in a topic about leaving your spouse if they became overweight/obese. My honest answer is YES, I would leave him because it's typically the behaviors that lead to obesity. It's a cause and effect situation. Which is vastly different from him being permanently injured from a combat wound, or an suffering a traumatic injury that left him disabled/handicapped. Those were not caused by his behaviors or habits that he allowed himself to get into. Just like I'd leave him if he became an alcoholic or drug addict. Fat is a symptom of behaviors and habits, and I couldn't be with someone that chose that self-destructive path. Especially now, that I have lost weight, changed my relationship with food, and refuse to go back to where I was in the weight department.

[lash44 313]

Thinoneday,

In my sight you are not a hypocrite and no one should advised you to go anywhere for your opinion, we may not agree but your views are always welcome.

For the moment, from a sexual point of view, we all have preferences toward who I like and/or dislike. Physical attraction is an individual choice. In general, for those who are unhealthy and face long term illnesses and early death due to their body mass (as most of us were). That's another subject to ponder.

Do ex cons see present day convicts in a different way, how about a recovered drug addict or a cured alcoholic, do they view existing addicts and drunks in a different light than others. Once you been there, only you know what is like to be on the other side.

Lash

Lash

Well the last time we went here, I was called a hypocrite and literally told to get off the forum cause it was a place of support and not my opinion, but that's ok. . . here is my opinion anyhow. . .even when I was 350 lbs 18 months ago, I didn't find obese men attractive at all. . .never, i've always thought fat men where "ugly" . . . i was really stuck up towards them, even though there i was fatter then ever myself . . . with the women, well whatever to them, was my opinion. . . now that I am past goal and have lost my poundage, when i see an obese woman i get a instant surge of "disqust" but it goes away as fast as it came. . .it then goes into pity and feeling sorry for them, cause I myself know how they got there. . . they are unhappy and most of them use food as a comforter. . . there are many many unhappy people in the world. . . ugh. . . I haven't changed my views about men, why I don't know always have been like this, could be because of the way I have been treated by men ever since i've been younger, they were so mean and ugly towards me and as I got fatter to "hide" it got burtally worse, but whatever, those days are over now and to me i guess payback is sweet, but I'm getting better. Guess you can call it eye for an eye. . tit for tat, whatever. . .Call me whatever you wish but ya'll asked. . . so am I prejudice? Maybe. . . am I judgemental? Maybe. . . but I am me and will always be. . . what you see here is what you'll see at my house, in the store, in the park. . . I am what sets me apart from everyone else and makes me unique. . .God Bless

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

This is a very interesting thread

When I see obese / morbidly obese people, my first thought is one of pity. I really feel sorry for the person. It does cross my mind that I have knowledge that could be useful to them - but I squash that thought as quickly as it is formed. I would not bring the subject up - I know how insulted I would have been if someone had done that to me. I also have a profound feeling of "there for the grace of God go I." And, every time I see an obese / morbidly obese person, it strengthens my resolve to use my sleeve appropriately to reach and maintain my goal.

As to watching obese people eat - I don't watch other people eat. I normally am more interested in the conversation that is happening over the meal than watching the person eat. I do remember being next to a guy once who was making so many little happy noises while he ate, it was embarrasing to be close to him. Normally, those kinds of pleasurable noises don't occur at a dinner table! The guy was obese - but I think he was just strange and don't necessarily chalk up the behavior to his weight.

I have never been attracted to obese guys, really skinny guys or really short guys - just a matter of preference.

My perception of the world has shifted post-surgery. I am very conscious of the size of everyone I see. I've always been a people watcher, but I am even more of one now. I observe how women (primarily) of all sizes dress. I notice rolls and bulges on people where I would never have noticed them before. I observe many people have no idea how to dress to enhance positive attributes or hide problem areas. I have a silent running fashion commentary going all the time.

Petty - but true.