WTH did I do to myself

[USMCwifeandTEACHER 3]

So... I was sleeved at Naval Medical Center, San Diego Monday morning, May 16, 2011. I wasn't really ready mentally I think (even though I jumped through all the hoops.) I woke up in the Recovery room with five incision holes, a lot of pain, nausea and barely able to sip anything.

Time is moving by so slowly. I came home and all I can notice is that the house is a mess. Hubby was home with our two boys while I was in surgery. All I want to do is eat a burger. * sigh *

I thought my cravings would go away right away. They haven't. Its easy in the hospital. But now that I'm out, I want the real deal.

Anyone else feel or felt like me?

[TijuanaPlication 87]

I'm sure you'll be able to have a burger in time. Maybe just some of a small one and with just a little of the bun, but that's the whole reason you did this, right? The liquids stage is boring I know, but you'll be on mushies before you know it and then life will start to get more interesting.

I think most of us go through the WTH moment, with it lasting longer for some than others. Try to think back and remind yourself of the reasons why you wanted this. Sadly not everyone loses their appetite and even those that do still have to deal with head hunger, so hang in there!!

[lovin life 4]

Hang in there! The first week or two is the hardest! It is such a mental game...You want what you cant have. I felt awesome after surgery and thought i "needed" food to survive. Before surgery, I had prepped myself mentally for the potential of feeling poorly and sickly for weeks after surgery and having to force myself to eat, but didnt prepare myself for feeling good, and for thinking i would "need" to be constantly putting something in my mouth so it was a rough adjustment for the two weeks i was on liquids post surgery before i could start mushies. But man o' man that first bite you take will be awesome!!! And it will be here before you know it!!! You got this stay tough and think of how good you are going to be feeling in the months to come when you are getting smaller & healthier and have gobs of energy!!!

[susnl 17]

Absolutely!! I am day 9 post-op and it really does get better soon. I appear to be one of those unfortunates that still feel hungary. Even with that, it is much, much better than the first week.

I thought I was prepared. I had given up carbs and had been following a pretty strict diet pre-op. But if you are like me, sitting home resting with the TV on, you are constantly being shown TV food commercials. It was horrible. All I wanted was pizza. I had to turn off the TV when I saw a dog food commerical where they were slicing steak and veggies and I thought "Man that looks good". LOL, I knew I had hit the limit.

Hang in there.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

Hi there USMC Wife,

What you are feeling right now is VERY common. Don't feel bad at all about your feelings. This was a HUGE operation... I'll tell you what, I think I had a little bit of that "WTH did I do to myself" feelings a lot for the first few days. It sucked!! I didn't know what was wrong with me because all the posts here were about how awesome everyone felt after surgery... like they could run a marathon or something... My experience wasn't as pleasant to say the least.

I was in pain, the drain was miserable and when they pulled it out it was the grossest feeling ever, I had to have a catheter installed while awake, I vomited dried blood... I was a wreck!!!

The first whole six weeks I felt like I was in a fog, tired - didn't want to do anything. I was quite possibly the laziest person on Earth during those weeks.

Here's the difference though, that person and who I am today are two COMPLETELY different individuals. I am full of energy, I'm losing weight, I'm fitting sizes I haven't seen since being a teenager, I weigh lighter than I have in 20 years, I'm MUCH more outgoing than ever now, and I'm on top of the world!! I no way no longer second guess my decision to do this. It WAS DEFINITELY the best thing I have ever done for myself.

You just have to give it some time. I know it's feeling like you will feel this way forever. I felt that way too! But you won't. Soon you will be writing posts like this to other new sleevers who are feeling like they made a epic fail. You didn't though... just trust in the program.

[Rev Me Up! 75]

Boy, those first 2 weeks are the worst!!

It is normal to feel like you do. It is hard to deal with the liquids. It is hard to feel bad all the time. It is hard to watch the house fall apart while you are too exhausted to do anything. This journey is very emotional and there is no way to really prepare for it.

Hang in there, it will get better. You'll be able to eat regular food again, but in smaller quantity. Focus on getting better :-)

[USMCwifeandTEACHER 3]

Thanks for the positive replies all.

Its just tough when you have family who makes comments like "you get what you pay for." That was my dad.

I know it will get better, it just seems like time is sitting still right now.

[Amanda131 214]

No worries, it about a month or two Dad will be eating his words. My WTF (I felt much more strongly than H at the time) moment came on day 5. I was certain I had screwed the pooch and would be miserable and fat with no stomach left to eat cool foods for the rest of my life. I was SO depressed that day. At some point that day, I realized that buyer's remorse or not, there was no going back and I needed to just make the best of it. That was a turning point for me. Jump forward- past the two weeks of insane exhaustion and liquids- and I woke up one morning to realize I felt normal. Then I realized that I really didn't feel normal because my previous normal hadn't felt this good. And, like that, things steadily starting ticking up. It's a crazy ride at first but I promise it smoothes out!

And, if you really feel you aren't mentally at peace with the change in your diet, then I encourage you to find a therapist who can help you work through this. This is the BEST decision I made for myself.

Best wishes!

Amanda

[ChrissySnow 0]

First of all, thanks so much for this post, Lilmissdiva, I'm 4 days post op, and have been holding myself crying almost every day, I also have the displeasure of having a drain, what the hell is up with that?!? I almost feel like all my stomach would be healed for the most part, except the major incision, but I have this constant reminder that is holding me down at the neck... I have to empty it and it's so gross to me, and foreign, that I'm trying to wrap my head around having it... I'm telling myself (for now) that I only have to look at it once in a while, so just tough it out...

My preop tests reveiled that I have H.Pylori which is a terrible strong bacteria in my stomach that causes ulcers, eventually.. Possibly even Stomach cancer... The pill regimin for this is 4 pills, which are so strong you end up feeling like HELL taking them... Long and short of it is, I never should have had this surgery before knowing that that bacteria had been eradicated, but I thought well, if my Dr. feels confident that I can take these pills, then I just have to get through it somehow... Last night I was wretching (not fun with a sore stomach) and crying, the pills made me so sick that I felt like going to the emergency room... Horrible... Today, I drank my Protein shake early, and I feel slightly more awake than I have in 4 days... Drinking the Water has been tough too, but I just feel like my stomach has turned a corner this morning, so I'm hoping that I'll get the right amount of fluids in today, then maybe I won't feel so bad?? IDK... Anyway, I'm rambling... lol... Perhaps there's another person here that has had this type of experience??

[sunnyd 32]

i was like you pre and post surgery. All i wanted was chicken parmesan. It was weird since I hadn't had that for a few years- nothing i usually craved before. But my cravings were bad and I too thought what the hell did I do to myself??? I can tell you it does get better. I hardly ever have cravings and I never did have chicken parmesan- that craving too went away! Good luck to you! Hang in there it gets better!