Hi,

I was banded August 31, 2012 and I choose to only tell my partner at the time (I needed a ride home after the surgery) I never regretted my decision to keep it to my self becuase I was very slow to start losing and I could just imagine what others would have said.

But I am running into difficulty and wondering if others are too and what they are saying?

My friends and co workers are always commenting on how little I eat. I even had to break down and tell my friend becuase she actually asked if i had an eating disorder. My co-worker always say OMG you ate nothing. Now I am sort of lucky I went through a difficult break up and now in the dating circle so i use that as an excuse "lost my appitite through the break up and now on a strict diet becuase I want to look good for dating". But the comments do not stop. Also now that i am dating I am the girls that eats nothing. Also worried becuase i have a bad scar from it do I eventually tell the person i am in a relationship with what it is from?

Anyone else have those problems and what do you say?

I've told everyone. You shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed. This is just a tool to help you lose weight.

I also told only hubby,parents and my sis knows bc my mom told her. I think alot of people look at it negatively and I rather people see the work I'm doing with the band to lose weight and not think its all the band.

Yeah, it's not about being embarrassed of the choice made, it's just that people in general like to judge and many times give unwanted advice/remarks.

Personally, I didn't have a problem telling people and if you are going to be in the position of eating out on a regular with friends, U just might want to let them know. Hopefully they will be supportive. I know my friends and family are and I love being catered to. Good luck.

It is an extremely personal decision. If you choose not to disclose your surgery, then so be it. People can be rude sometimes and not realize. Next time someone asks about your portions just turn to them and say"why do you ask?" They will either close their mouths or say I'm worried. Assure them you are fine and they have nothing to worry about....they won't ask again.

Yes, I have to agree with most. I have no shame in my and......all my co workers and family know. The only thing that saddens them is that there is no longer munchies in my drawer at work:)

Hi' date='

I was banded August 31, 2012 and I choose to only tell my partner at the time (I needed a ride home after the surgery) I never regretted my decision to keep it to my self becuase I was very slow to start losing and I could just imagine what others would have said.

But I am running into difficulty and wondering if others are too and what they are saying?

My friends and co workers are always commenting on how little I eat. I even had to break down and tell my friend becuase she actually asked if i had an eating disorder. My co-worker always say OMG you ate nothing. Now I am sort of lucky I went through a difficult break up and now in the dating circle so i use that as an excuse "lost my appitite through the break up and now on a strict diet becuase I want to look good for dating". But the comments do not stop. Also now that i am dating I am the girls that eats nothing. Also worried becuase i have a bad scar from it do I eventually tell the person i am in a relationship with what it is from?

Anyone else have those problems and what do you say?[/quote']

Surgery is a big commitment. I had one person call me a cheater for having surgery. At this point I don't care. What matters is that you are healthy and happy. If you tell people and they have a problem with it you probably don't want them in your life to start with. Try some coca butter to the scar and massage in a circular motion. We do this all the time with our breast cancer patients and it helps smooth the scar. I like the post that you are eating normal portions now. That's very true. Just be kind to yourself. Show me a person without scars or physical anomalies because I haven't ever seen one!

Hi,

I was banded August 31, 2012 and I choose to only tell my partner at the time (I needed a ride home after the surgery) I never regretted my decision to keep it to my self becuase I was very slow to start losing and I could just imagine what others would have said.

But I am running into difficulty and wondering if others are too and what they are saying?

My friends and co workers are always commenting on how little I eat. I even had to break down and tell my friend becuase she actually asked if i had an eating disorder. My co-worker always say OMG you ate nothing. Now I am sort of lucky I went through a difficult break up and now in the dating circle so i use that as an excuse "lost my appitite through the break up and now on a strict diet becuase I want to look good for dating". But the comments do not stop. Also now that i am dating I am the girls that eats nothing. Also worried becuase i have a bad scar from it do I eventually tell the person i am in a relationship with what it is from?

Anyone else have those problems and what do you say?

You're trying to loose weight? And you're watching what you eat?

I haven't told a lot of people about my banding, which happens next Monday 8/12, but it is not out of shame. This decision was so deeply personal and life changing, I just don't feel like sharing all of the details. I have lost weight on the pre-op diet, my hair stylist mentioned that I look like I had lost weight today, I just accepted the compliment and told her I was making some life style changes, I really like that phrase, life style changes. I'm finding that as I progress towards this surgery, I'm looking at what people are eating on TV, in their cars, where ever and the portion size and amount of food presented to people is gross. I'm not happy on this pre-op diet, but I am, for the first time in a long time, in control of food, food ISN"T controlling me and I like that.

Your co workers seem to have a lot of time on their hands if they are noticing/commenting on how little you are eating!! Either they have nothing of interest in their lives they wish to chat about during your lunch breaks or lunch is just way to long LOL.

Personally I am the type who has told everyone because I wanted/needed that as part of my overall life change. I've had mostly all positive interest & support from all which I assume to be sincere....or at least they are keeping negative thoughts to themselves Any negative comments are easily dismissed by my knowledge of the fact I know that they don't know the real deal of this process.

This happens to me all the time when I'm eating with other people, whether it's friends or coworkers. I try to play it off using some of the things other posters have stated and other tricks/decoys. I almost always get soup at this point so I don't get comments. I'm not sure if its because people are used to the old way I used to eat or what. I'd like to think that people don't notice what I do or do not eat, but for me it's not my experience. (I only told 2 people about my band.)

I think I am lucky in that 3 of my coworkers have had WLS. My family and most of my friends are so supportive and super excited for me. I was told during my counseling session before surgery that relationships in my life will change. I have actually lost someone very dear to me over this whole thing. It's just too much for him. Even with that, I know I made the right decision for me and hope he can make his own peace with it and support me eventually. It is definitely an emotional and personal journey!!

In my experience, I have only had to explain if I got food stuck while eating out with a group. Order food, take 2 bites, go to the bathroom, don't eat another bite. People ask if I am OK. I am pretty open. But, it is your decision to tell, and it is a personal one.

If asked about small portions.. I have made changes to my eating habits. My doctor suggested I make some changes. I am watching my portions. "Yes, I am eating much less, and I feel GREAT!! My doc is very happy with the results of the changes I've made! Thanks for asking." None of these are lies. Your medical status is none of their business.

Someone asked about my weight-loss once and how I did it. I am watching my diet. "But what are you doing?" She said. Eating proper portions and walking more. "Really?" Yes, really. "Oh wow...." I walked away. (didn't like her much). Some people are just nosy to be nosy. Others are concerned. But I will say, tell one co-worker, and you've told them all, unless it is a very good friend.