Failing at this!

[abcd 2]

I go to the doctor tomorrow. I have had 2 fills and am at 2.5 cc's. I have not lost weight since my initial weight loss at the surgery. I have successfully kept the weight off, but have not lost any more weight. There are certain foods I am unable to eat without plugging, and am certainly learning about my eating habits. Before, I thought is was just volume. I am now learning that I will graze since I am unable to eat large volumes. I have become a sweet eater and was never a sweet eater before. I am realizing that I miss overeating and I think I am filling it with foods that will go down easily like sweets.

I am concerned about what to do tomorrow at the dr's appointment. If I tighten the band, will I go to the empty calorie foods even more? I am so disappointed in myself that I am one of the ones that has learned to "out smart" the band. It was my biggest fear before having the surgery.

Every morning I get up and say this is the day that I am going to succeed. I truly feel just like I did before the surgery. I constantly think about not eating and end up doing the opposite. Very sad about this.

[leannel90 206]

Hang in there...maybe check with the nutrisionist at the doc tomorrow and see if they can come up with something a little more filling. You'll do okay...everyone on here calls this bandster hell. Perhaps they'll have some great ideas for yah. Concentrate on your successes...whether they're on the scale or not. Things will turn around!

[DELETE THIS ACCOUNT! 12,703]

I'm sorry you're struggling.

It's hard to break old habits. The band is great at dimming hunger but unfortunately it can't change our brains. It's like the popular saying- the band goes around your stomach not your brain.

I would seriously consider some sort of counseling to help you cope. You recognize there is a problem and the band can't help with it, which is a big step in itself, but just like the band is a tool so is a counselor.

As far as fills, I'd be honest with your surgeon and let him help you decide.

Best wishes.

[hely88 883]

Have you tracked your days and brought them to a nutritionist? That would be the next thing I would do. Best of Luck. Its a marathon not a sprint!

[B-52 7,113]

Everyone is different...My first fill was 4 cc's and not near enough to make any difference.....that was 4 weeks after my surgery date....

After my first fill at 4 weeks and before my 2nd fill 4 weeks after that, I GAINED WEIGHT!!!!! I too felt like a failure, the band was a waste of time....etc, etc, etc...

NUT told me I needed to count calories, weigh/measure portions....etc...

I was PISSED!!!! I could have done all that without going through surgery.....I did all that before and it never worked....surely WLS is supposed to be different.....right? It's for people who failed at dieting, right?

At my 2nd fill....my Dr. saw my frustration and all he did was LAUGH AT ME!!!! He said it happens all the time....people, like myself expect instant gratification and yet, the band is not doing what it was designed to do.....He explained, by showing me the Yellow-Green-Red Chart on the wall, that through a series of fills the Green is where our goal is to be, and that after one fill I was no where near that place...yet....

He gave me a 2nd fill, of 2cc's....after that it made a difference....at least I no longer gained weight, and started to loose...but it was a struggle....still always hungry, cannot control my portion sizes, etc.......

One month after that...3 months after surgery...he gave me my 3rd fill.....that did the trick...put me right where I needed to be...although all was not perfect...I still needed to learn what what happening to me, and modify my behaviors to adapt to the band and this new life style.....after that...it's been all easy.....

So, after one fill and recently banded...you are no where close to being a failure......believe me.....I know people (some ere) who have failed to let the band work, and you are not even close!.........

[abcd 2]

Well, I went to the doctor today. I have been journaling my foods eaten and it quite apparent that it is not volume but sweets that are stopping my weight loss. I had surgery back in August and I have not lost weight since the weight loss I had before and right after the surgery. I continue to learn about my eating problems. I was never a sweet eater and have turned to sweets since I am unable to eat large volumes now. So, with that said, it is good that I know this....now to conquer this need or desire to still eat even when I am full. Logically this makes no sense what so ever, but I don't eat with logic in mind!

The doctor did not want to do a fill until I have seen the nutritionist. They are both so skinny and I find it hard to believe they can identify at all with what a person like me goes through. His comment to this was that their best resource is to be able to share what other people have found that works. That I believe can be helpful. So, I have made an appointment with them.

I am going to continue to journal my foods and get the sweets out of my reach. I think I will keep weight watcher type Desserts on hand but try to avoid over eating on them. I pray that I will do this. I, so, admire people who can set their minds to something and stay the course until it is accomplished.

Thanks to y'all who commented on my post last night. It was very encouraging to check my email this morning and I had 4 of you who had responded. Each response was different and each was helpful. I hope you are doing well on your journey.

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

For me I had to diet. I know it's not the popular vote on this site but I had to treat my losing stage like a diet.... And a strict one because i needed to see a continual loss or I wouldn't have had the patience I did for 22 months.

Now that I am maintaining the band works as it should I can eat sweets and luxury food as I call it... Just not that much. And after so long eating right quite frankly I don't crave the crap very often.

I stuck to 1000 calories a day and weighted and measured food like an addict. It worked .... I lost 224 lbs in less than 2 years.

I wish you success and the motivation to learn to become one with your band.

[leannel90 206]

Well' date=' I went to the doctor today. I have been journaling my foods eaten and it quite apparent that it is not volume but sweets that are stopping my weight loss. I had surgery back in August and I have not lost weight since the weight loss I had before and right after the surgery. I continue to learn about my eating problems. I was never a sweet eater and have turned to sweets since I am unable to eat large volumes now. So, with that said, it is good that I know this....now to conquer this need or desire to still eat even when I am full. Logically this makes no sense what so ever, but I don't eat with logic in mind!

The doctor did not want to do a fill until I have seen the nutritionist. They are both so skinny and I find it hard to believe they can identify at all with what a person like me goes through. His comment to this was that their best resource is to be able to share what other people have found that works. That I believe can be helpful. So, I have made an appointment with them.

I am going to continue to journal my foods and get the sweets out of my reach. I think I will keep weight watcher type Desserts on hand but try to avoid over eating on them. I pray that I will do this. I, so, admire people who can set their minds to something and stay the course until it is accomplished.

Thanks to y'all who commented on my post last night. It was very encouraging to check my email this morning and I had 4 of you who had responded. Each response was different and each was helpful. I hope you are doing well on your journey.[/quote']

I had second thoughts today about even getting the surgery today for this very reason. I keep asking myself " what am I eating this for...what feelings am I trying to avoid?" I wish I knew the answer!!! I read about a lot of success on here which is great. I also keep asking myself what switch flipped in their mind to make this the time that worked? If I knew the answers...I wouldn't consider the surgery quite frankly. Working with a nutritionist and the surgeon and anyone else...such as this forum may be just the trick. Today I asked myself what could possibly happen if I DIDN'T eat that last bite...there are so many worse things than a hunger cramp! My Mom...the wonderful woman that she is...told me today that she feels badly for me because I'm going to feel deprived. Such a sweet thought. I have to ask though...what am I depriving myself of? Years of struggle and tears with 150 lbs of extra weight? Feeling lonely and confused and having a chocolate bar for 3 minutes of happiness? Its just not worth it for me anymore.

I thank goodness for people like you that share this honestly. At least I'll know more about how tough some days are going to be.

You're so honest about your struggle and please know that I'm there with you! Thanks for sharing and I'm sending good thoughts your way. Stay honest with yourself and your medical team...this will work! You're trying so hard...and your message today really hit home for me...as you can see by my diatribe.

Thanks for being you...I appreciate it.

[soxmorell 2]

I had all those same feelings before my surgery. I was banded on Nov. 27th. I had a talk with myself the night before surgery. I told myself it was do or die time. I had cheated myself for 20 years and I needed to stop cheating myself. I didnt like the thought of a liquid diet for 2 weeks, and then a pureed diet for two weeks, but I couldn't stand looking in the mirror anymore. My starting weight was 297.5 on Nov. 13th 2012. Today April 6th 2013 I am 232. I will say that I have not cheated on the recommended diet, and I work out 7 days a week. I started walking one week after surgery. I told myself that I was walking away from being fat. Two months after my surgery I got a trainer and I see her three times a week. It has not been easy . However, it gets easier all the time. As I see myself shrinking and get compliments it feel soooooo good!!! Each day I start out with the serenity prayer. After all i am a food addict. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. When I make it through another day of not cheating. I thank god for being right beside me. I believe my band has come to save my life. I have a long way to go. I will get there if i dont cheat myself. I will get there if I work hard. I know there is not a magic pill anymore. For the first time in my life I feel happy to wake up and for the strength to be able to work out. You can do this . It will not be easy !! it will however be worth the hard work.

[emiliawhit3dogs 2]

I had all those same feelings before my surgery. I was banded on Nov. 27th. I had a talk with myself the night before surgery. I told myself it was do or die time. I had cheated myself for 20 years and I needed to stop cheating myself. I didnt like the thought of a liquid diet for 2 weeks' date=' and then a pureed diet for two weeks, but I couldn't stand looking in the mirror anymore. My starting weight was 297.5 on Nov. 13th 2012. Today April 6th 2013 I am 232. I will say that I have not cheated on the recommended diet, and I work out 7 days a week. I started walking one week after surgery. I told myself that I was walking away from being fat. Two months after my surgery I got a trainer and I see her three times a week. It has not been easy . However, it gets easier all the time. As I see myself shrinking and get compliments it feel soooooo good!!! Each day I start out with the serenity prayer. After all i am a food addict. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. When I make it through another day of not cheating. I thank god for being right beside me. I believe my band has come to save my life. I have a long way to go. I will get there if i dont cheat myself. I will get there if I work hard. I know there is not a magic pill anymore. For the first time in my life I feel happy to wake up and for the strength to be able to work out. You can do this . It will not be easy !! it will however be worth the hard work.[/quote']

Oh my god, you really touch me , that the same weight before my surgery on march 8 2013 . I told my self the night before my surgery it was to do or die. After the surgery I was feeling good I lost 38 pound. But now for tree days my demon came back I start eating again , again and again I hate my self, that empty feeling inside, yes addict to food. I didn't get any fill but I can't wait. He is normal that I am hungry now it not a month that that I got my surgery. I'm so happy that you the find the good felling and that prayer help you and that you are going to your goal. Good for you .

[babigrl819 6]

I lost 10 pounds in the first week after being banded once I got the ok to eat I ate like I never had the surgery there was no restriction but I had to wait 6 weeks for my first fill I gained 5 pounds by then I felt ashamed I had 3 fills after that still was eating the same no weight loss I finally talked to my dr he assured ne it was no normal to be like that until I had the proper restriction! My 5th fill did the trick I'm banded at 7.5cc and dropped down 84 pounds I'm going to get it loosened tomorrow bc now its too tight and I can't eat or drink anything! Any issues you have make sure you talk to your dr. That's what he's there for!

[abcd 2]

Thank you to all that have commented in response to my concerns about my progress. I value each and every one of your stories. I have little golden nuggets that I have gleaned from each story. I loved where someone said when I am walking I am walking away from fat. That is a great visual for me.

I went to the nutritionist and we came up with a plan. She gave me a great tracking sheet. I would never have believed that I would enjoy tracking, but I am actually enjoying it. My 3 goals are simple and doable. 1)Walk 15 minutes a day. 2)Journal for 1 week. 3)Plan my Snacks. What I found I was doing was thinking I was out of control on calories and would feel panicked or pressure that I could not eat anything else. This would just make me want more since I had "blown" it. I am tracking and am finding that I am right at 1300 calories now. I am amazed how it is giving me peace of mind to be able to eat. I am looking for satisfying planned Snacks. Lite yogurt with granola or almonds is doing the trick right now. So, 3 days under my belt of working toward trying to break those bad habits.