I was pretty outgoing, confident, and more spirited when I was bigger. I was never the "woe is me because i'm morbidly obese" type of gal. However, I became "woe is me" after this whole process... I had major cabin fever doing the pre-op stages and def missed end of summer prepping for it. I got banded on 9/11 and My birthday was yesterday.. No I didn't have cake but I didn't even make a wish...not even over a Protein shake. I spent myybirthday in bed crying watching full episodes of trashy vh1 shows... I don't want to say the d word but .. I'm feeling pretty depressed and lonely. I can't help but to wonder.. is being "skinny" and "healthy" worth it? I can't wait to have more up beat posts but I'm having a really hard time.. Has anyone experienced the same? I just feel stuck..

p.s. i can't have a glass of wine eventually - 6 months in?

being skinny will not make you happy (nor will being

unhealthy)

you just had major surgery a couple of weeks ago. so you are still healing and tired. bless your heart.

congrats and

i am so proud of you.

the (not being able to eat) is mainly so that your insides can heal properly. by eating (food) too early you could hurt yourself. please dont cry and dont be depressed. it does get better and you will be happy you had this surgery in the long run.

i had this surgery (to save my life literally). i couldnt hard walk.

it was either have this surgery or eventually they'd have to cut out my walls of my house to get me out. i am sure of it. now that was depression.

you will be able to have wine again and have birthday cake and whatever you want. but just heal for now. i see your profile picture, my gosh you are gorgeous. put a smile on that face. chin up. shoulders back and say to yourself, i am so worth it.

because you are

Who says you can't have a glass of wine? According to my Dr wine is good for you (in moderation).

I love you guys.. is that weird to say? I don't know what I would do without this website! Thank you so much!

What you are feeling is pretty normal and I bet we all can vouch our feelings have been there. I had my surgery just a week shy of my birthday. I spent a lot of time in my bed, I cried a lot. I even had doubts of what I did to myself.

Now, here I am 8 weeks out of surgery and my feelings have shifted. I feel good, I can certaintly move around a whole lot better, I have more agility, and my clothes are falling off (thats always a plus).

Like CG said, you just had sugery and you are still healing. Yes, I can not see why a few glasses of wine down the line would hurt, why I can't wait to enjoy a glass or two myself (I love wine)!

You are going to be just fine, just you wait

Like you I wasnt a woe is me fat girl. I had a solid marriage, great job, drive a nice car... I had it all. But deep down in the back of my head there was anxiety about traveling for work because I was too fat for the airline seats, paying way to much for clothes because the size I needed would be gone if I waiting for sales, worrying about being out of breath just walking from the car to the parking lot. Sweating just going up 4 stairs.... the list goes on and on.... but I hid it so well.

Fast forward 22 months post op and I am still a hapy person. I still have a great marriage and a wonderful job.... but all the rest of it is gone... I now have almost a foot of seatbelt left over on a plane... I can sit in any chair I want without fear of it being too tight... clothes... well lets just say there are more then enough that fit on the sale racks!!! And I have my health. I will be around to enjoy my granddaughter and can even sit on the floor to play with her and not worry about needing a hoist to get me back up!!

Trust me... the future will be brighter.

B

I am glad you posted your feelings.. I too have those feelings right now and seeing all the comments helped me. I was never really big until the past 5 yrs. I jogged 7 miles a day and was around 140 size 6 (smoker) i had a hysterectomy .. Stopped smoking.. And gained 80lbs in 5 yrs.. Couldn't take it off but was a jolly person.. Now.. 5days post op, haven't cried on the outside... Bored, sore, can't burp, and asking myself "what have i done?"

Overpost

Things will get better. Apparently the after-effects of anesthesia can be strange. Not quite a week after my surgery I was so weak and tired and then started getting this weird anxiety and thought something was horribly wrong with me. Spent an entire day in the ER and, nope, nothing was wrong. Looking back I'm sure it was the after-effects of major surgery, because shortly there after I was absolutely fine.

You need to focus on the good things ahead. I love when people tell me I'm looking good... in the beginning, it wasn't obvious to them that I was losing weight, they just noticed I looked better (and happier)!

I love finding really old clothes in my closet that I can now fit into... and some really old clothes that are too big and I missed the opportunity to wear them. I have a walk-in closet that was busting at the seams and wouldn't hold another thing... now it's kind of bare with all the clothes I've gotten rid of!

Best of all... No more Lane Bryant for me!!!! I am loving being able to walk into any store and be able to shop in the regular sizes!

Don't even get me started on the health benefits. Just before I decided to have surgery, I was thinking I might be forced to retire and look into getting disability benefits (something I never would have imagined myself doing)!!

And wine... well, let me say, I am a wine drinker. I have a glass almost nightly with dinner (I know, not supposed to drink with meals, but I'm not a night snacker so it doesn't matter if dinner goes through the band too fast to keep me full). With wine or any other adult beverage, you just have to be mindful of the empty calories and not overdo it.

I can tell you I am normally a very upbeat person and I was banded in April and felt sort of like that. I think its part of not doing our normal day to day stuff. Change is sometimes hard and we don't even realize why its bothering us. Getting the band is def life altering, but in a good way. I felt sort of depressed for a couple of weeks but it went away as my life started to fell "normal" again. Just dont feel you are alone. As they say "this to shall pass" Hope this helps

girl.... i know what you mean... and i think towards the first couple of weeks after our surgery, we feel like that because we're still healing.

BUT... i promise you that you will feel better and you will feel like its all worth it later on! everyone goes through the down times, but later we realize that it was something we did to help us have a healthier and longer life! when you start fitting into those smaller clothes and start having more energy and start having people tell you how 'great you're looking'... you will feel sooooo good that you will know it was totally worth it!

and guess what? you have another birthday next year... and a little piece of cake to celebrate wont hurt you! keep your head up!

I was pretty outgoing, confident, and more spirited when I was bigger. I was never the "woe is me because i'm morbidly obese" type of gal. However, I became "woe is me" after this whole process... I had major cabin fever doing the pre-op stages and def missed end of summer prepping for it. I got banded on 9/11 and My birthday was yesterday.. No I didn't have cake but I didn't even make a wish...not even over a Protein shake. I spent myybirthday in bed crying watching full episodes of trashy vh1 shows... I don't want to say the d word but .. I'm feeling pretty depressed and lonely. I can't help but to wonder.. is being "skinny" and "healthy" worth it? I can't wait to have more up beat posts but I'm having a really hard time.. Has anyone experienced the same? I just feel stuck..

p.s. i can't have a glass of wine eventually - 6 months in?

What you are describing about your feelings is normal and the result of the numerous emotional and physical adjustments that your body has to make post op. People generally don't embrace the concept of change readily, but if you want to be successful with weight loss, you really do need to modify your relationship with food and make a commitment to a healthier lifestyle.

There are just too many weight related medical issues which over time present and then begin to slowly erode your health.

Your mood will improve over time as you make these adjustments. Realize that some people actually will experience a kind of "mourning" process similar to grieving as they revise their relationship with food.

I looked at having my band placed as an opportunity to regain some of my health; what you have to give up for successful weight loss is returned to you many times over with the health benefits you receive.

Wine, and all alcohol beverages are empty calories, so you need to be careful and limit your consumption. I was advised to wait an entire year post op to have any alcoholic beverages...I did wait for 6 months, but have only had Jello shots once. My next glass of wine will be for my birthday next year...beyond the 1 year waiting time.

Best wishes...

Happy belated birthday!!! Keep your head up pumpkin, we are in this together :-)

Thanks everyone for these comments! It's extremely refreshing to know that i'm not having abnormal feelings/thoughts/emotions through this process... It's even more refreshing to know that it does get better! What it comes down to is..I really need to practice patience.. and I will try my hardest!

To the people who are currently in the same boat (and obvi to anyone else) always feel free to add me as a friend and message me. Especially if you need to confide in someone who is going through the exact same thing!

Again, I love you all! I don't throw the word "love" around usually.. but I'm so relieved that I've found the support that I've been desperately looking for! Family, friends, and co-workers..they are awesome and are definitely considered supporters. However, they truly don't understand this life changing experience that we chose for ourselves.

Thanks for these replys. I just 4 days post-op, but starting to feel if I did the right thing. I am still feeling very tired. I try to walk around the house, but I feel tired. I could sleep most of the day. Reading these post give me some inspiration.