Complete Failure

[skdeleon 2]

I was banded 2 years ago this month and feel that both me and my band are complete failures. I was on liquids for the 3 weeks before my surgery and lost 35 lbs. In the 1st few months after being banded and going back on solid foods, I only lost 20 more lbs. I saw my doctor every month following my surgery and told him I was always hungry and was not happy with my weight loss. Since I had already had several fills, (I don't know how many cc's I have) he told me I was filled right where I needed to be and that I wasn't working hard enough at losing weight. I was hurt and embarrassed and haven't gone back to my doctor in over a year. My weight is holding steady, haven't gained or lost. I am able to eat whatever I want and have never had to experience being "stuck" or slime". After taking such a huge step to have surgery, I really feel that I have been cheated. I don't know if my band just isn't tight enough or if it just doesn't work for me. I don't know if I should go back to my same doctor or see a different one.

Is there anyone that has experienced some of these issues? Do anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks : )

[SageTracey 608]

Firstly, you are not a failure! Sounds to me as though your dr was not listening to you. Can you be more assertive in insisting on a fill? Explain that you are able to eat larger portions, that you are getting hungry after short periods of time and that your weight loss has stalled. Reassure him that you are making healthy food choices and are exercising, because if all of these things are true then you almost certainly need a fill.These are the standard questions that my surgeon discusses with me every time I go in for a visit. Sometimes I come away without a fill because we agree (i.e. my care is a partnership!)

If he still refuses, then I would be looking for another dr to manage my care.

[LJCBF 363]

For me thinking in terms of Failure around weight is natural... however, I found that moving away from that thought process (easier said than done) was helpful. I think in terms of tools... my band is one tool. My exercise and mental plan/strategy 30 seconds to Victory is another and critical. My sister has also used it and is down 180 lbs so far - I have band, see my profile. Let me know if I can help. You may find my sisters blog helpful http://www.300poundsdown.com

Hope in Your Future is Power in Your Present!

[elcee 3,340]

Maybe the problem is that you are expecting more from your band than it is able to deliver. This is probably not your fault, lots of Drs seem to paint a very rosy picture preop and don't give all the facts.

The facts are.

The band is not designed to stope you eating certain foods,in fact the ones that are worst for you are probably the easiest to eat.

The band does not make you feel full the same way as full preband.

The band does not make healthy choices.

The band does not make you exercise.

The band on its own does not make you lose weight.

What it should do is allow you to feel satisfied on a smaller portion of food for a fairly long period of time.

So if you choose the correct foods ( preferable Proteins, veg, wholegrains) and eat the recommended size portion( some say a cup, some say that it should fill a small bread and butter plate) then you should not be hungry again for anything from 3 - 6 hours.

The problem is that most of us eat when we are not hungry.

We eat because we are bored, stressed, upset, to Celebrate, because others are eating etc. These types of non hungry eating are things that we need to find some way to control.

You are not a failure but it does sound like you need to take back control. You are in charge, not your band.

[2muchfun 8,927]

Just an FYI: I'm not going to be as supportive as the others.

Sounds to me like your doctor may be right? First, 20 lbs in the first few months is awesome. "Only" should not apply to 20 lbs in 2-3 months. You say you can eat whatever you want and you are always hungry? I'd need more information but you won't lose weight if you eat whatever you want?

There is a right way to eat with the band and it sounds like you weren't eating that way. I'm reading between the lines of course since there is so little to go on? Were/are you exercising?

I see many bandsters post comments here where they seem to find reasons to fail on the band. Being dissed by their doctor is a popular one. The doctor's comments to you may have been accurate, we can't know, we weren't there to hear the entire conversation. He must have said that for a reason? But it hardly sounds like a reason to quit? You're going to need to have a thicker skin if you want to succeed with WLS or any diet for that matter.

It does sound like you want to get back on the bandwagon. That's a very good start. Go back to your current doc and tell him how you feel and ask for his help. Follow his guidelines as close as you can. If you do, he won't have a reason to question your bariatric integrity. You're not a failure, yet.

tmf

[tflemon67 88]

For me thinking in terms of Failure around weight is natural... however, I found that moving away from that thought process (easier said than done) was helpful. I think in terms of tools... my band is one tool. My exercise and mental plan/strategy 30 seconds to Victory is another and critical. My sister has also used it and is down 180 lbs so far - I have band, see my profile. Let me know if I can help. You may find my sisters blog helpful http://www.300poundsdown.com

Hope in Your Future is Power in Your Present!

Just checked out your blog, you and your sister ROCK! Keep killing it! AWESOME, I'm a fellow runner, I have two halfs under my belt but I had gotten UBER lazy before my lapband surgery. You have inspired me to get off my lazy butt and get back to training!

[FLORIDAYS 3,040]

I was banded 2 years ago this month and feel that both me and my band are complete failures. I was on liquids for the 3 weeks before my surgery and lost 35 lbs. In the 1st few months after being banded and going back on solid foods, I only lost 20 more lbs. I saw my doctor every month following my surgery and told him I was always hungry and was not happy with my weight loss. Since I had already had several fills, (I don't know how many cc's I have) he told me I was filled right where I needed to be and that I wasn't working hard enough at losing weight. I was hurt and embarrassed and haven't gone back to my doctor in over a year. My weight is holding steady, haven't gained or lost. I am able to eat whatever I want and have never had to experience being "stuck" or slime". After taking such a huge step to have surgery, I really feel that I have been cheated. I don't know if my band just isn't tight enough or if it just doesn't work for me. I don't know if I should go back to my same doctor or see a different one.

Is there anyone that has experienced some of these issues? Do anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks : )

I will preface this by saying the following is written with compassion and concern but I dont sugar coat things. I worked hard to make the band work for me as I think everyone should. Sometimes thats not the popular way of thinking.

You wrote that you are hurt and embarrassed. Why? If its because the Dr was being honest with you... you need to put your feelings aside and think about why you got banded. Did you know you would have to make food choices? Were you looking for a miracle? They havent developed that yet...altho I for one think this is close.

For your Dr to say you are filled correctly is interesting. I wonder how he knows this? Were you communicating with your Dr each month about how the band is or isnt working? SInce you havent been in over a year I am guessing not.

However that said...And I am not trying to be insensitive but what are you doing to help yourself? DO you eat 1000-1200 each and every day? Do you weigh your food portions? Are you exercising? DO you eat healthy? DO you drink Water? Are you able to eat more than 6oz of solid food at a time? If you dont have trouble with skinned fruit or popcorn or big chuncks of meat ...you may not be in the green zone and need a fill.

I knew when I needed a fill. I had 5-6 before I felt I was in the green zone. After that... I "thought" I needed a fill some visits but I showed a 10lbs loss in a month and my Dr said... lets wait. Several times he talked me out of it... but a few times I explained why I felt I needed it and he gave it to me. Its because I was working with my band instead of thinking it would do all the work. And my Dr knew it so he respects my opinions.

Even now... being 9 lbs from goal I see him every 3 months. The last time I was there he told me to stop tracking my calories. He didnt want me to be dependant on it. I was horrified.... and scared I would gain it all back. Guess what... that was 30 lbs ago!!! He was right. I know how to eat.. how to eyeball my portions.

In summary.... if you want to be successful you must do whatever it takes to get there. Start with making an appointment and starting over... I would even ask if I could go on liquid for a week... just like in the begininning. But you need to want it. I think thats where you start.

All the best to you!

[AlleyKat 26]

You're not a failure. i think you need to get back on track and monitore what you are eatting and get i for another fill! I am feeling the same as you in a lot of ways even though I've only been banded a few months. You can do it

[LJCBF 363]

Just checked out your blog' date=' you and your sister ROCK! Keep killing it! AWESOME, I'm a fellow runner, I have two halfs under my belt but I had gotten UBER lazy before my lapband surgery. You have inspired me to get off my lazy butt and get back to training![/quote']

Hey! Two Halfs Wow! Yes for me the races help me to train ... If its a Tri then I train so I don't drown LOL but they all provide a focus point and motivation. The hardest training isn't for the run/events ... It's when my entire training was 30 seconds total ... It's very hard to "feel" like you are doing anything in the beginning but those are the very steps that change peoples lives !

Kudos to you for your new motivation and past accomplishments

Lee

[okiekatt 40]

Skdeleon, I can feel your frustration and I can completely relate, I was spending months on months getting fills every three weeks, and never feeling any restrictions, I was getting a lot of the same responses you are, it made me feel that I was not working with the band or trying hard enough and That is what made me feel like a failure, then I found out I had a leak, after my second surgery and second fill I still was not feeling restricted when I went in for a 3^rd fill my doctor also said I was where I needed to be and instead tested my metabolism and said it was low, after another 3 months and Reading Alex’s post “Finding the Lap Band Green zone” I knew I was not there. Basically went into my doctors and begged for a fill they gave me .25 cc ….And IT DID IT!

I GET IT! So if you are struggling with hunger I would very much suggest a fill, The green zone dose exist and I know you are not a failure.

[glammadeb 7]

I have a amazing fill nurse... My surgeon told me that I was a lapband failure... I was hurt, angry and depressed. I spoke to my nurse after almost a year... She told me

1. You've LOST 40 lbs.

2. Diabetes is gone.

3. Fibromyalgia is in remission.

4. You are in so much better health now, than you were when you got your band.

5. Lets get you a small fill and hut that sweet spot.

She gave me a small fill and it was perfect.... She told me that a failure is when there is a leak. And when you need a fill. I met a lady that day at the office and she told me that, she just needs tighter fill for hers to work... We are all different and for anyone to suggest that you are lazy, irresponsible or otherwise, is completely rude, insensitive and idiotic... Please go get another fill. Success is so close.... Only failure to accept is if you have a faulty band. Otherwise keep swimming, you'll get there.

[Pheath 38]

I have a terrible doctor. He is an awesome surgeon and a terrible doctor. He doesn't like fat people and he doesn't like to give fills. He says that people use the fill as a crutch. He has many many patients that see him a few times and never go back bc he berates them for wanting his help.

There is not a lot of competition here or he would be out of business.

Some doctors, like some people are just jerks and have pathology just like anybody else.

Go back or find someone to work with you. The

band doesnt work without restriction in addition to you making good choices.

Some people should be more supportive. It isn't like we don't all have food issues to a destructive degree and live with the negative consequences.

Pennie

[Puppypaws57 137]

Same here. My band was unbuckled so it was like I didn't have a band. Please have your dr. do an upper GI to check.

I had my band replaced and wow, what a difference.

Also, it is hard to change a lifetime of thoughts and practices. I have trouble eating correctly too. I know I need therapy to help with my issues but cannot afford it.

Don't beat yourself up or let others put you down. I have been there and it hurts like hell.

Get it checked out!

{{{{HUGS}}}}

[carol285 145]

So let's recap....You lost 55lbs in 3-4 months give or take & you have now been away from your doctor longer then you were with him & your weight has held steady during this time.......on what planet is that a failing????? I don't know about everyone else here but prior to banding I had never maintained the same weight for a year, it was always gaining or losing not maintaining.

Even if your doctor is wrong or horrible (not saying he is or isn't) the band IS doing something. Yes, it may not be working to it's max potential if you are not filled enough but it clearly hasn't been useless. So find a different doctor if you don't feel you can face your old one, not I didn't call him your current doctor because he can't be considered current if you haven't seen him in over a year.

None of this meant to hurt you & it can be directed to many many posters here because after reading posts for 2 years now I have come to realize many people who already have the band do not really get what the band can & can't do. Worse, they lie to their doctor about how much the can eat & their hunger levels to get filled to the point that the band is a strangulation device since that is the quickest way to weight loss.

I will be banded 2 years on October 25th and have lost almost 90lbs, which is slower then some & faster then others. I have spent 2 approx 4 month stretches during these almost 2 years where my weight stayed the same. Being 100% honest I can say it was because I didn't do the level of work I needed to keep losing. I ate/drank to many things that just slide on through our little band buddy. Told my doctor flat out didn't try to pretend otherwise. Then got my S#@t back together and started going down again.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again & good luck :)

[lawismylife 41]

I don't understand why you would even think of goin back to the same doctor if there is another dr to go to. Obviously you need a better working relationship with your doctor. Your doc is your partner in this process.