Tonight I had a huge emotional breakdown. Over tired, over hungry, feeling shitty after not being acknowledged by anyone at a social gathering.

Hit taco bell with a friend on the way home and thought I made decent choices but after looking them up realized my choices totaled a thousand calories. Freaked out threw the food out the window (real dramatic I know). And had to pull over and literally sobbing.

I haven't wanted to go on an insane binge this bad since I had surgery.

My exercise just kicked into balls to the wall status since being cleared, I'm not at adequate fill level, im not taking my Vitamins regulalry and there's a lot going on in my life.

I'm about a month and a half post op and I guess the pink cloud finally burst and this has become really real.

I've struggled with drug addiction on my past and in resolving that a food addiction was born and tonight I just wanted to say f'it and either binge til I puked and then binge again or get loaded or both. Ugh not a happy place to be. I expected some real rough seas ahead before I got the surgery but since I made it this long with out losing it I thought I was in the clear.

Encouragement, empathy, or how you've dealt with this kinda stuff would be really helpful.

I am so sorry you are struggling hard right now. Don't give up what you want most for what you want most right now. Eye on the prize. Put today behind you. Forgive yourself. You are human, and it is ok to make mistakes. Get up, brush yourself off and embrace that tomorrow is a new day. ((hugs))

This is me laughing, laughing because I want you to smile. NOW! Forgive yourself because this is a part of your new life. Not everyday will be easy nor will it be this hard. I spent last weekend crying, in part because now that I finally got restriction...I am gaining. I am so Pick it up and keep moving to the next step. Get ready, you can run this race, and you can win it.

Oh hon, I'm sorry.....it is really hard, isn't it? Drug addiction is ver different than food addiction.....we don't need drugs to live, but we do need food. That makes it very difficult. It sounds like you, like many of us, use food for comfort when you are feeling bad/mad/sad emotionally. I know I do. In order to be successful with the band, we need to find other ( healthy) ways to deal with our emotions.

I'm proud of you for looking up the calories. You faced the truth instead if just "assuming" it was healthy. There are a lot of people who dont do that and then the complain the band doesn't work.

I know I am going to work on other coping mechanisms. Going for a walk, journaling, drinking a cup if tea/coffee.....things that will help me process my emotions without putting me in a downward spiral........like a binge would.

Good luck to you. Remember that when you make a mistake, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start over.

Hi Thunder,

I understand how frustrating life can get at times, and I think we all go trough what you are at some point in our journeys, but that is exactly what it is, a long journey. You will have good days and bad days, but in the long run you will be successful, Everyday is a new opportunity to be better, to shine and to enjoy life. So like everyone else here said, forgive yourself and start over and you'll feel so much better, I promise.

i have been there before and many times in my life. my big thing was to eat until i cant eat no more and then (get rid of it). sure food made me feel better. it soothed me. but inside i was dying.

you are recently banded, good for you.

we have all been there with bad moments, bad thinking, negative

feelings or when our world just isnt going right. what you need to do is what the other posters said, smile. forget today and move on to tomorrow, every day we get that chance to start over.

so what if you overate (or didnt). doesnt matter. what matters is you believing in yourself. deep down. find yourself. look at what all you went through to get here (pre and post op, surgery itself) that right there tells me you are a success.

you are not alone.

this forum is awesome for support. you need it? post something.

there are people here who care.

i am one of them.

hang in there sweetie

I really hope things start looking up for you. So sorry your going through this rough patch. Keep your eye on the prize and don't give up!! You can do this.....it's just going to take some time.

Trust in the Lord, Even when its hard!! I had a hard week also, insuted at work, sad upset and possibly dumped again from a man that I care so much about I wanted to just pull into a diner and eat until i could not eat no more!! But I did not I cried and cried and could not make sense of my feelings and wonder why I was being punished this way, But God asked me to be patient and not lean on my own understanding but totally rely on him!! He is in charge of my life totally and everythign else will fall into place!!

YOU CAN DO THIS! Dont give up. At one point or another we all struggle. Im at the point now i am second guessing having the band and not another weight loss surgery. But i havent given up and neither can you.

Just remember there is light at the end if the tunnel (life dear and a healthy one). I also went through a small depression of reality. But it is so worth it for you and family. Please know you have support and people are not always going to understand what you have gone through or feel (often it may feel like sabotage) just concentrate on the winning prize:)

This is me laughing' date=' laughing because I want you to smile. NOW! Forgive yourself because this is a part of your new life. Not everyday will be easy nor will it be this hard. I spent last weekend crying, in part because now that I finally got restriction...I am gaining. I am so Pick it up and keep moving to the next step. Get ready, you can run this race, and you can win it.[/quote']

Uhoh! Please don't make the same mistake as me & be so tight that you gain from sliders because you can't keep solid Protein down! The tiniest unfill can get you in the green!

Now for our sad newbie; good for you for throwing that food out the window! You sound like a smart girl- you know what's triggering you to want to binge so being aware of the problem means you are half way there to solving it. Just take it one meal at a time. Forgive yourself & love yourself! You are worth time & tender care! Good luck & keep us posted on how you are doing!

U are not alone! I'm only 9 days post op and already. Some days ate good and others are..WTh did I get myself into. It's a struggle, as someone else put it perfectly. We need food to survive. We have to make the right choices. The only thing I'm doing is , not only day by day, I'm holding myself accountable for every hour. Or every 'meal'. Never forget something important my surgeon told me. The 80/20 rule.

No one is perfect! If you can do great 80% of the time, you'll succeed. Leave the 20% for mistakes if you need to. Never best yourself up!! Good luck;)

I think we all have mini freak out moments or times when we overindulge. I have found the best road to success for me is to not be on a diet. If I want something, I have it. 70% of the time, I realize that my mind has hyped my expectations of the foods and I choose to throw away the rest. 30% of the time, i do enjoy the food I've chosen, but I make sure to have a proper portion and practice mindful eating.

My biggest advice is to remember this is a complete journey (mental, emotional, social) and you need to work on all the aspects of it. Dont let other peoples reactions make your decisions (the social gathering), especially ones you will be upset with yourself over later.

Lastly, fast food is not off limits, but knowing what the healthiest choices on the menu are is a good starting point to avoid being blindsided by hidden calories.

Sent from my iPad using LapBandTalk

I think we all have mini freak out moments or times when we overindulge. I have found the best road to success for me is to not be on a diet. If I want something' date=' I have it. 70% of the time, I realize that my mind has hyped my expectations of the foods and I choose to throw away the rest. 30% of the time, i do enjoy the food I've chosen, but I make sure to have a proper portion and practice mindful eating.

My biggest advice is to remember this is a complete journey (mental, emotional, social) and you need to work on all the aspects of it. Dont let other peoples reactions make your decisions (the social gathering), especially ones you will be upset with yourself over later.

Lastly, fast food is not off limits, but knowing what the healthiest choices on the menu are is a good starting point to avoid being blindsided by hidden calories.

Sent from my iPad using LapBandTalk[/quote']

I definitely would have to agree with you about the fast food. I love Chipotle and there was a point i was eating it everyday. Using the lose it app i have cut down what i put in the bowl that i get to make it under 500 calories.

Oh, you are right on schedule!! And totally normal. A lot of us have gone through rough emotional meltdowns for the few months after surgery. IT WILL PASS. But if you think about it, it makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, you've spent all these years covering up all your feelings with food or drugs, so now that you can't eat as much all those feelings are coming out and you don't know what to do with them... Or some variation of that... And, your hormones are out of whack.

I cried several times a day, nearly every day for about 2-3 months after surgery. I would be elated, and then crushed. Optimistic, then pissed off. I drove my husband insane because I needed him but kept blaming him for things. It was like having my period x10000.

I think it's great that you threw the food away, but I hope you understand that you will still lose weight if you eat it sometimes. I have a burrito or quesadilla at least once a week and I'm down nearly 50lbs since April.

Just try to be kind to yourself. Pretend it's your best friend and not you, and treat yourself as you'd treat her.

Sasha

Hey everyone -

Thanks for all your encouragement and words of advice and experience. It took me awhile to get back to everyone because I decided I needed a mini vacation and went to visit my mom, who lives in rural Oregon so not much for internet down there.

Anyway, I'm doing much better since I posted this, and actually managed to lose 5 pounds this week! I'm allowing myself around 1500 calories a day with the working out until I can talk to my nutritionist.

Anyway, thanks again for all the love and support it means a lot to me and I'm so glad to have you all on this journey with me.