After researching LB for 2 months, I finally registered for a seminar that was last night. I was so scared I was shaking on the drive there. After getting lost in the building, I finally saw a registration desk and as I walked up I noticed that I knew one of the girls at the registration desk...This was my WORST nightmare realized! I was concocting stories in my head of what I was going to tell my family and friends when I got the surgery and finally convinced myself to go to a seminar. The worst part is that the girl is a friend's girlfriend that is a judgemental gossip along with her friends. It is the WORST possible person I could run into! I was doing all I could not to cry sitting there listening to the doc--thank GOD my husband was there for support. Now that it is the next day and I am trying to adjust my thinking that it's OK for everyone to know. On one hand, I am a horrible liar and am happy I don't have to keep this from anyone. On the other hand, I am a very private person and don't want people to judge me for my choice. I am still trying not to be upset and even reached out to the girl to ask her if she likes the docs she works for--maybe she will take my surgery seriously and not be judgemental--but how do I (suddenly and without a choice) accept that everyone I DIDN'T want to know, will know?

Wow what a coincidence... I am sorry you ran into someone you know. You can always say you were exploring options. Remember this is for a healthier you. I have not told anyone except for my immediate family (husband and children). I haven't even told my parents. I think this is your personal choice on who and when you tell someone. Maybe the girl you saw won't even say anything to anyone because she was working. Good luck to you!!

Do you think if you ask the girl to keep it confidential that she would? Also she would have her job to consider if she blabbed and you asked her not to. Patient confidentiality - I think would be a priority to her employer and lastly if she is working at a weight loss place, I would hope that she believes in the work that she does and wouldn't be judgmental because she knows that it works and it is needed. I hope that makes sense...

You're not doing anything immoral or dishonest, so what if anyone knows you are trying to improve your health. This is really not anyone else's business, and you need to relax and just think what

you'll look like when you reach your goal weight, then let them talk.

Thanks yellowrose88, I don't have much faith that she won't tell anyone--I have caught her slamming MANY people--but I am thinking about all the negative responses people on LBT have gotten from even friends and family about their LB. On the other hand, now I can treat it as something to celebrate as opposed to being ashamed that I need it. I want to be healthy, I DO need this, so I am trying to keep my mind in that direction.

HIPAA = She will lose her job if she tells anyone. Doctors' offices take this very seriously! You have an absolute right to privacy!

dhales and Toddy, I thought of this too, but does it apply to a seminar that is open to the public?

Well, I must say, I have to eat my words! After messaging her about the doctors she works with, she was very supportive in giving me information and told me that she's not allowed to tell anyone that I'm in the program so not to worry about it. (I didn't even bring it up, she must have felt my un-ease last night at the seminar.) She gave me her personal phone number if I ever have any questions. I must say, sometimes actions speak louder than words--that's why I made horrible assumptions about her--but I can certainly say, I am pleasantly surprised!

If she is working there, i am sure she was happy to see you taking control of your health! Now it looks like you may have one more person for support, go for it!

Its awesome that she's being supportive! But as she stated, she has to keep your information private or she could lose her job.

Well, I must say, I have to eat my words! After messaging her about the doctors she works with, she was very supportive in giving me information and told me that she's not allowed to tell anyone that I'm in the program so not to worry about it. (I didn't even bring it up, she must have felt my un-ease last night at the seminar.) She gave me her personal phone number if I ever have any questions. I must say, sometimes actions speak louder than words--that's why I made horrible assumptions about her--but I can certainly say, I am pleasantly surprised!

If this girl has been as bad in the past as you've said she is, just because she's being nice to you doesn't mean she isn't slamming you to everyone else. People that vicious rarely change their ways. Just remember the old saying, "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer," and don't let your guard down. Good luck with your surgery whether you decide to tell anyone or not!!

Absolutely true Toddy, I still don't trust her, because she is incredibly two-faced and I don't allow those people to be in my life. I just feel fortunate that she legally CAN'T say anything! Time will tell if she can demonstrate maturity.

Try not to stress over it. It sounds like she is going to keep it private. I wonder why we have such a hard time telling people.....We walk around embarrassed for being over weight.....then we are embararrassed to admit we need help taking control and doing what we need to do. I'm in the same boat. I had decided the half truth thing isn't me. There are a few people that Im close to that I wanted to tell, plus my family but the rest I didn't care. But I knew it was either all or nothing. Because eventually people would figure it out. So I had in my head I would tell those that I wanted to tell and then those that felt the need to ask I would tell. My husband discussed what I wanted him to say to everyone and thats what I told him as well. So imagine my suprise when my husband decided to give updates on my FACEBOOK page while I was in surgery!!! He was trying to be nice and keep those that knew in the loop.....but I can't tell you how uposet I was that he did that. There is a differnce in telling people and TELLING people. now everyone from people I went to school with 20 years ago and kids in my history class know!! I'm not sure how I feel about it. on one hand i didn't do anything wrong.....but on the other hand I feel like I had the rug pulled out from under me.---This just happened Monday...so I haven't felt likediscussing this with him yet....I know he didn't mean to upset me....but for some reason I'm really mad at him.

To be perfectly honest, almost, everyone in my surgeon's offcie has had the surgery, including the surgeon! How do you know that your friends girlfriend is not a former patient? What the op above me said, Hippa laws forbid her to gossip about you or any other patients! Good luck, Karen

Mega - glad to see her response. I had hoped you wouldn't run in to any troubles with this. It is hard if people are judgmental, but as with this lady, you might be surprised. I have told my family and friends, and they all seem very supportive (except my dad gets angry at the doctor for all the troubles I have had with fills, etc. He hates to see me suffering! lol). Of course, behind my back it could be different but I like to think they really are supportive and want the best for me. And most of all, you are doing this for yourself (and your family). So, as long as you are okay with it, then try not to worry about what others may say. Every jerk can have an opinion!

This just happened Monday...so I haven't felt likediscussing this with him yet....I know he didn't mean to upset me....but for some reason I'm really mad at him.

Waitingpatiently I would KILL my husband! He and I have discussed my wanting it to be private as well, but he would do something like that, too. He'd probably act like he didn't know any better. I'm sure you feel somewhat like how I felt last night--like the option to tell people was taken away from you. It was only yesterday, but I feel like I have covered a lot of emotions in that time. On one hand, I was devasted that a lot of people I specifically didn't want to know. On the other, I was kinda warming up to the idea of the support I could get from my friends if they knew. If I were you, I would focus on the latter. Now you may find support from those you hadn't expected to tell. IDK, I was just struggling with this this morning and came to you all for support, so clearly I'm not an authority!

1shauna1, I am definitely trying to focus my attention in the direction you are speaking! I am refocusing and am planning on telling more people than I planned to originally. Still wouldn't have told the gal in question were I given a choice, but that that's OK! Thanks for getting me through this stressful experience everyone!