What To Do Next When You're A Lapband Failure? :/

[Erin18 135]

Yup, did you ever think that I'd say that? Well it is true, I am a major failure, it is all my fault and I am extremely ashamed. I have only lost around 20-22 pounds since getting this surgery and that was 2 and a half years ago (7/31/09)!! The most I have lost was 47 pounds.(I gained most of it back besides the 20-22 pounds) I do not know what happened to me ): but I guess being stressed and depressed does not help at all. I started getting depression back in February of 2010 then along with that I started getting stressed and as each day passed it got worse, I have not seen anyone about it yet, but I am going to talk to my regular doctor about it when I go in to see her again. Since I started getting that, that's when I started to see my weight go back up and each day got more stressfull or depressing, last year was the worst. I have no motivation, I am tired all the time, I come home from my Cosmetology class and I don't feel like working out or anything, I feel stupid...I haven't even seen my LapBand doctor since last October because I am truely embarrassed to go back!!

I skip Breakfast and lunch most of the time, sometimes I eat very little, I barely get any liquids in, I am treating my body horribly. I know I have stupid excuses, but sometimes I won't eat in the morning or before class [lunch] is because I feel like I don't have time to eat. I want to go to bed earlier like at 9:30pm or 10pm but I feel like it will never happen, I feel like a night owl and want to stay up half the night so I get up around 9:55/10am and leave for class at 11:30am, Class starts at 12pm. I know it is a part of why I feel dizzy...

I think I am anemic again which can be the other part as to why I am feeling dizzy.

I do not know what to do anymore, I have regretted the band a few times, but I know it will work if I just treat it the way it is supposed to be treated, but I feel like I have no control over anything and I feel like I do not know how to treat my body, the band and everything the way it is supposed to be. My mind is lost and I can not focus. I do not know what to do, I know start from the begining but for me it sounds a lot harder than it is...I just do not know...

I have 100-105 pounds to lose and I honestly do not see it happening, I am going to die alone and depressed...

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

FIrst off YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE! You have simply fallen off the wagon, or the beaten path and need to dust yourself off and get back on, slowly. Starting with getting help with your stress and depression, that alone will hurt your weight loss. The call your lapband doctor and go see him, embarrassed or not, trust me you will not be the first to come in that has fallen off the wagon. You can do this. You just have to get over this hurdle. I am studying nutrition and wellness right now and a couple of the best stress relieving things to do is yoga or pilates. Get a video and a yoga mat a couple of 3-5 pound weights and when you get home from class MAKE yourself do it, you will thank yourself in the long run. You can do this and you can make it happen for yourself, but FIRST you MUST believe in YOU! Feel free to add me if you like, i can do my best to help and encourage you along as much as I can. Good luck to you! I have faith that you can turn this around for yourself!

[Kiskis 56]

Tomorrow is a new day! A fresh start! Go back to the basics as if you were just banded. Read all your material and plan your meals & try to get some exerise to helpbyou feel better and for your depression. Make a commitment to eat all meals even if you have a high Protein Shake for when you are on the go. Bars are easy to pack to. Start small and before you know it your back in the game. Good luck! Make youself a priority!

[elcee 3,340]

Hi Erin

I was wondering what had happened to you.I remember you struggling a lot with the band initially. I am wondering if the problems that you have had are because you were relatively young and maybe not emotionally ready for the changes that would need to come with being banded.

I think a lot of us hope(even though we are told otherwise) that the band will be a magical wand and that the excess weight will just fall off. Unfortunately that is not true and losing weight even with a band requires dedication and commitment.

I think you need to go back to your team and discuss the issues that you are having. You probably need to work with a psychologist to get your head in the right place and a nutritionist to help you plan healthy meals.Some breakfasts can be easily prepared the night before or maybe you could have yogurt or something like that to start the day off well.

Do not give up. You are not a failure. The band is still there and it is waiting for you to use it correctly. You are only a failure if you give up.

YOU CAN DO THIS.

[B-52 7,113]

I was thinking the same thing as elcee. Perhaps you need some one on one counseling.

You yourself admitted you have much going on in your life.

Having this surgery and being successful demands one to change their life styles, and to take on new habits and new ways of looking at things.

If you are distracted by other things in your life, then it's hard to focus on this.

For the majority of the time, when I read posts about people who have failed with the band, there is usually something else going on in the background that causes that person to loose focus.

Not always, but usually the case, as in yours.

[asherje 81]

I know how you feel, had a major meltdown earlier today when trying to write out what was going on and I came off sounding crazy but that's how I've been feeling too.

Do you have a local support group you can see? I've had my struggles as well, well still am lol. But if you start with baby steps you can feel so much better about your self and the decisions you've made.

I started in march 2008 at 230 and over 9mo had a hard time losing weight, the person I was with at the time was huge and lazy and content that way. So between work, having a 1yr old and no support for healthy eating habits it was a struggle to keep the foods I've been avoiding my whole life out the house. I lost about 40lbs in that time and it was tough. Lucky I went though a best break up with him and went on the crazy break up diet. I dropped 40lbs in just a few months. So of cours when happy again it crept back on and then some.

I've had bad bouts with my band where I'm ma an cryin because the stupid salad I made wont go down but anything I should avoid will, those moments I'm pissed I spent all that money out of pocket. But once you find that nitch, a balance even not being at goal after 4yrs I'm still better off than I was 4yrs ago.

Have you tried myfitness pal app or website, it really helped me be more aware of all calories even those we drink. And maybe grab a Protein shake for Breakfast so you can get something in ya in the mornings. Taking the stairs when you can and parking further from the places you go to. So at least on days you just can't get motivated to work out you've done a little something, it would be a start.

[1shauna1 129]

I'm sorry you're struggling so much....but don't think of it as failure. You obviously know what you're doing is not helping things. And depression is a b***h; you end up treating yourself so badly. You need to talk to someone or maybe get some antidepressants (they helped me so much a few years ago). You won't end up alone....once you start valuing yourself others will too. I hope you get the help you need.

[Erin18 135]

Thank you, all of you who replied, it made me feel so much better

Nikki_ProudAWife_ : thank you. i have fallen off the wagon a very long time ago, i did not quit, but sometimes i am on the urge of it. i try and try, but it does not seem to stick into my head and why? i can make an appointment with both doctors tomorrow-one for primary doctor about stress and depression and what not and the other with my lapband doctor, i wrote down a few things i want to talk to him about and possibly get a fill while i am there. there is a huge fork stuck in the road. i am a skinny person stuck in a bigger person's body who wants out. about the yoga and pilates, i have heard that it helps as well and i did want to try it, can i find videos for that on youtube? thank you!

Kishis- that is true! i am going for a walk tomorrow with a couple of friends before seeing a movie. i was thinking about that. what kind of bars? Protein ones? thanks!

elcee- hey, yeah those were bad days and i felt hopeless. i think that could be why as well and possibly because maybe i am scared for change? that is not good!!!! i need to change so i can live a long and happy life.

i know it is not a magical wand or that getting thin over night is a possibility because i know it is not. i know it takes longer to lose the weight than it is to gain it. i know i need to definitely talk to my lapband doctor about my probs, i could really use a nutricionist, that is where most of my problems are.

for breakfast, 3 days in a row i have been having carnation breakfast shake stuff that has like 11-14 grams of Protein in it and like 170-180 cals

i am trying not to.

B-52-it could be a possibility. i feel like i have a lot going on, but i really do not

i do not know how to control my mind, like it needs to be cleansed out so i CAN have control. my brother lost all the weight he needed to lose years ago and kept it off the healthy way with out surgery, why can't i have that kind of dedication, determination, motivation, commitment that he had? otherwise, i would not be like i am now.

i agree, it is always harder to focus when distracted.

i am not trying to point the finger or blame anybody, but i feel that it is hard to lose weight here, even my mom agrees. i need to block out everyone and everthing around me (like Skymoon from youtube did [i believe that is her user name]) i just wish i knew how to do that

if it is something else going on then i honestly do not know what it is, i know if i went to bed earlier and got up earlier, i can workout in the morning like i want to because it is so much easier to get it done in the morning

asherje

i feel like that most of the time lol

the closest i think is like a little over an hour away, i do not hear about the support groups anymore. there used to be one that was right in town, i do not know what happened to that

i feel the same, i feel like i do not have the support that i should have (does that sound needy?)

somebody in my cosmetology class went through a horrible break up and lost around 30+ pounds and she was kind of big, but not really big, but now i feel like the biggest person in class...well i am either way.

i am a yo-yo dieter and i wish that it would just stop!!

I have the myfitnesspal on my phone and ipod touch, i do not know if it really helps me or not i am going to start using it again and plan my days ahead of time

[Erin18 135]

1shauna1- thank you, my doctor told me the last time i was there that if i needed any to let her know , is it bad to think that maybe that maybe what i need?

thank you

[ElizabethAnne 40]

I am sorry you are struggling. I understand why you are discouraged but please do not feel like a failure.

Others have already given you many good suggestions.

I am concerned because it sounds like you could be depressed. Sometimes depression gets better on its own, but other times, depression worsens if it goes untreated. Talking with your doctor sounds like a wise idea.

Are your cosmetology classes offered through a community college? If so, your college likely has a counselor who could help you. Most colleges offer free counseling services. If not, perhaps your doctor could refer you to a counselor or psychologist who has an understanding of weight loss surgery.

I hope you're feeling better soon!

[Nikki Riviotta 33]

I am sure you can get them on you tube and Walmart also sells them, I believe they are between $7 and $10.

Good luck to you! Sounds like you are coming up with a plan! please keep us informed!

[Violet953 46]

First of all, you should definitely see a doc about your depression ...but aside from that, the best advice I can give you is to just GO FOR IT. Its summertime now, and for me that's incentive enough to get out there and go for long walks with weights, do work out vids and just start to feel better about yourself overall. It helps the depression too when you are getting out there and doing it everyday. I can't tell you how much my mood has changed and how much happier I am once I started doing this! I know its hard to get motivation...because I was just like you before I started...but from what I can remember, my doc kind of pushed me and basically told me I wasn't getting the surgery if I didn't loose weight so that made me do what I needed to do...It was the push that I needed to get in the mindset that I needed and I haven't looked back. I am such a happier person now just from six months of exercise and a decent amount of weight lost from it. I know you can do it too...because trust me I was just like you before...if you just MAKE yourself get up and DO it...that's what it takes. Get into the routine...good luck and message me if you need to!

[1shauna1 129]

1shauna1- thank you, my doctor told me the last time i was there that if i needed any to let her know , is it bad to think that maybe that maybe what i need?

thank you

No, it's not bad. They really do help! If it's a chemical imbalance in your brain, then the meds help. I was on two for several months and finally started feeling like myself. But know that you are not alone here....I sometimes feel like a failure too in that I thought I'd be to my goal now but only down 37 lbs. Everyone knows I've had this surgery and I'm sure they're wondering why I haven't lost more (although I guess they have enough tact to not mention it). This losing weight is really the hardest thing and the longest thing I've ever tried to do.

[Miss_A 11]

Bless your heart. I know exactly how you feel. I, too, feel like a failure. I was banded 14 months ago and I'm not 10lbs heavier than the day of surgery. My port bothers me a lot and has since the beginning. I also haven't been to see my doc since last June because I'm too ashamed. I know I'm depressed, but I DO NOT like medication. There are just too many side effects with each and every pill and I can't handle them. I have enough to deal with.

I can't give you any advice on what exactly you should do, since I'm not doing anything, either. Although, I logged on here yesterday after a year and I have to say that being on here has helped me. So I would encourage to come back here often. I know I plan to. I need encouragement and YOU DO TOO! And I have no doubt that you'll find it here. Hang in there, sweetie, and I hope your days get better and better.

[Erin18 135]

ElizabethAnne - thank you

i know i am depressed and it really does make everything much harder even my cosmetology class i am taking

its been 2 years of having depression and it really is not fun. i thought itd get better by now but nope

yes, i think it is a very good idea to help me get into the right direction, i feel like i forget easily now as well too, cause i had some things on my mind a few mins ago and completely for got it and, i try and try to remember it but it just makes me more stressed. sometimes i cant sleep because i have stuff on my mind and if i dont write them down i wont remember so ill be up all not writting things on my mind and THAT SUCKS just as much as being depressed

The cosmetology class is not offered through a community college

thank you!♥

Nikki_ProudAFwife_

I can check that out (:

Thanks and i will!

Violet953

i am going to be seeing my doctor about the depression issues

it's still cold here but i have workout DVD's, workout games and a dance game, and workout plans to get me going

oooohhhh i know i can do this, if i was able to lose 12 or so pounds before surgery, i can do it more now, i just need to block out everything and everyone else and focus on me to get there

1shauna1

do they do tests to find out if there is an imbalance?

i think coming on here really does help because you have some people who are in the same boat as you and try to help you refocus

Miss_A

thanks. my port used to bother me, sometimes it still does. like sometimes i get a sharp pain, but only in a great while. its weird. i know i feel ashamed to see my dr too, but i know it has to be done to get me back on track. i too do not like medication, i am on no meds as of now, but if it is going to help me, then why not, if there is a natural way that is just like the medicine that would be even better, but if not either way would be fine i think

i'm holding on to everything that i got, this site has a lot of helpful things and inspiring things! (: