Self Sabotage

[Damander 11]

It's been quite a while since I've posted something on here. I have my fb group of November bandsters that I love dearly but I just need to find out how many others are like me..

I've lost 21 pounds (including pre-op diet) since my Journey began in November. I haven't lost anything since my last fill (I have 5.8cc in a 10cc band) and I go again tomorrow for another fill hopefully.

I've been eating anything and everything that I possibly could and while I told myself and my husband that I don't feel any restriction, I think it dawned on me today that I actually do-a deep breath, or a hiccup, or tightening in my chest..something subtle, but I feel it. And then I continue eating. I don't know if it is truly an addiction to food or if I am sabotaging myself...but something is wrong. I am 197 lbs and I am shooting for 130. When I got pregnant with my now 1 year old I was only 160 lbs and while that is still very overweight for my height (5'1") I was happy with my weight so I can't possibly figure out why I would be sabotaging myself but fact of the matter is I'm not losing and I don't know where to begin anymore to get back on track. I have made my new workout schedule and my food menu and my Water schedule (yes, I have to have a schedule for Water to ensure I get my 80+ ounces in) and I will start with that, but now it's trying to train my brain again on how to fight the head hunger and decipher between what's really hunger and what isn't.

Is anyone else feeling like this? I just feel screwed.

[shay33 18]

My surgery was on Jan 3rd of this year and have lost 21 lbs with my pre surgery diet included. I have the same problem. I eat and can fill the full feeling but cant seem to put the food down because it is good. I just got my first fill today and am hoping that I will get back on track now but there is no for sure way to know.

I started my workout program last week and have been feeling good about that but am wishing I could hate food. lol. I think we just need to know that there are more out there like us and we need to consentrate on why we went for the surgery in the first place. Maybe even make small goals each week to try to win. This week im going to eat slower and try to pay attention to what my band is telling me. even the best tool wont work if we dont do it right, I guess. Good luck to you and keep in touch maybe we can get through this together!!!

[honk 780]

Have you tried measuring your Protein? Measure out 3 or 4 oz and when the food it gone stop eating.

[Damander 11]

If I could just stop eating, I wouldn't need the band.

[Holly Dolly 575]

If I could just stop eating, I wouldn't need the band.

Before the surgery I ate til I was stuffed. Maybe not Breakfast and lunch, but definitely dinner. I haven't felt like I have been to the greenzone yet,and I just hit my year anniversary. I measure and weigh everything and have told myself that is all I get. Of course, I have cheated along the way, snacked on chips, etc. But you can't just rely on the band to make you stop eating.

Last night was the first time I had brown rice. I went out for dinner and I had what was prob 1/2 cup rice. 2 ounces salmon and half my veggies. The whole dinner was 475 calories from Mimi's Cafe and I had half. I only have 1/4 cup starch at dinner on most nights so the additional 1/4 cup was good while I was enjoying it. As soon as I got into the car I felt really full. I think it was really the first time I have felt like that since having my surgery and honestly I do not miss that feeling at all.

It took a long time, but now I know that satisfaction comes from me enjoying every bite that I take instead of feeling stuffed.

[1shauna1 129]

Damander, I feel for you, because I feel the same way. Was banded in August 2010 and am only down 30 lbs (thought I would be at goal by now). I feel restriction but if I wait, I can eat through it (bad, I know). I feel like I self sabotage a lot. I haven't lost since my last fill either (which was in the fall, I think). I have a fill Thursday and am really hoping it helps. I don't want to give up; I've been working on my weight for years (unfortunately). Next year I'm 40 and I'd better be thin by then!!

[lorena st 33]

I had similar issues...I used to consume large volumes of food...that is why I am fat! With the band, I can no longer eat those volumes and the weight comes off. I also have to chew things very thoroughly. Slow down when you eat, cut things into small pieces and chew, chew , chew. When you feel the warning signals of fullness (hiccup, deep breathing, tightness, etc), just stop eating. Sounds easy, but it isn't. It becomes a habit with practice. This isn't a race and you have made great progress so far. Teaching yourself how to approach food differently and listening to your body is a difficult process and takes time.

[honk 780]

I not saying it's easy but this is a will power diet until you get restriction. Took me over 6 months.

[JennK2008 12]

I was too tight last March and became severly dehydrated. I had to have all of the Fluid in my band taken out. I gained weight back but then again I had literally been starving myself. My doctor told me not to be surprised if I gained 10 or 15lbs since I was now going to be able to eat. I put on more than that in 2 days and my feet and legs were swollen. After going to the ER and having every test imanginable they came to the conclustion that it was severe dehydration.

Anyway even now with very little in my band 2.5cc's in a 10cc band I feel like I have room for more restriction. I can eat just about anything other than bread. I will tell you though I think it's definately mind over matter. I have trained myself not to eat what I know I can and to ration out small portions and try and leave some on my plate even if I'm not feeling full. I exercise, I get my Water in, but I just can't lose weight. I go back to the doctor on Thursday and I'm praying that he gives me a fill. I know that is what I need to get me losing again.

Just remember to keep track of everything you put into your mouth, and I mean everything. That way you stay accountable to yourself!!

[shannonraeh 0]

I haven't been on here in a while either, but I logged on tonight to ask this very same question!!! I too was banded in November, and have 5.8cc's in a 10cc band. I feel NOTHING and can eat regularly. My parents paid for my surgery and I feel so guilty that I have only lost 25 lbs including pre-op diet. I know they say it's not a magic wand, but I really thought there was more to it than this. I should practice self control, but if I had any of that I wouldn't have wasted 10,000 dollars of my parents money!! I too am bad about self- sabotage. When I eat something bad, I feel like I need to eat everything bad that I see to get it out of my system. I'm glad there are others that feel like I do, I don't know anyone in my day to day life that can relate!

[Damander 11]

I haven't been on here in a while either, but I logged on tonight to ask this very same question!!! I too was banded in November, and have 5.8cc's in a 10cc band. I feel NOTHING and can eat regularly. My parents paid for my surgery and I feel so guilty that I have only lost 25 lbs including pre-op diet. I know they say it's not a magic wand, but I really thought there was more to it than this. I should practice self control, but if I had any of that I wouldn't have wasted 10,000 dollars of my parents money!! I too am bad about self- sabotage. When I eat something bad, I feel like I need to eat everything bad that I see to get it out of my system. I'm glad there are others that feel like I do, I don't know anyone in my day to day life that can relate!

She gave me .3 cc yesterday so now I have 6.1cc and I'm not sure if it is swelling but I have restriction!!! I have NEVER felt this constant heaviness in my chest and I can feel the Water drip slower through the band..my dr says this is what restriction feels like so I am hoping that when the swelling goes down and I can actually eat solids that I still feel this way. It will definitely prevent me from over eating.

We can't give up. We didn't go this extreme route only to fail ourselves. I get discouraged but then something happens and picks me back up! I lost 2 lbs on the dr scale according to 3 weeks ago on their scale..of course it should be more than 2 lbs in 3 weeks but it is still a loss and for that I am grateful and definitely back on track. Last night for dinner (on liquids) I prepared 1/4 can Tomato Soup and 1 wedge light laughing cow cheese...I did not eat all of my Soup and only ate half of the wedge because I was STUFFED and (wait for it)...I actually stayed full the rest of the night! I had a skinny vanilla latte this morning (130 cals) at 7:30 and I am still full. I am working on my Water for the day, but I am not hungry. My head is trying to tell me I am but its satisfied with the water. We can do this!!!!! Good luck!!

[Califdreamer 5]

Funny, I just posted on another thread that I had my 3rd filling today. It's honestly the first time I have felt restricted. Previously, I felt I could eat as much as I did before the band. Obviously I couldn't but it was in my brain. I was so sure I had gained 4 lbs and maybe I did but the great people hear gave me encouragement and I took their advice and had a 3 lb loss. Not bad. Every day is a new day. What happened yesterday is in the past.

[cakegirl 12]

I got a fill just over a week ago, and that was the first time I've felt restriction since the surgery. This feels like what I thought it would feel like to have a lapband.

[Stace2882 43]

Omg girl I feel your pain I just had my first fill nd I had restriction for ummm a week! Wtf and now I just over ate and in so angry with myself I want to cry. I'm so afraid iv gone thru alllll this and am going to fail. I'm glad I'm not alone an when I get home today I am working today's mistake off! We can do this I'm not letting food take over my life it already has the first 24 yrs but now I have to take control or I'll be miserable foreva good luck xoxo

[gassygirl 0]

I would like to thank you all for yor imput. I have been feeling like a failure, but now i realise that I am just in need of another fill. I desperately need to fine my sweet spot. I have right now 5cc's and i thought that was a lot. My band holds 11cc. I thought maybe my band had a hole in it. Again, many thanks.