Why do we allow temptation?

[Jessiebear 2]

I also want to say how awesome I think it is that you & P'nut are so strong for each other! It WOULD be easier if we all had that kind of support & strength!

[Jachut 487]

Oh well, I have long since realized that those who don't feel they need/want additional help with weight loss sometimes think obesity is a problem with willpower.

See, I think it's a bit like the calories in versus calories out equation. There can be SO many things affecting the balance and making it nigh on impossible for people to lose in any individual's body but in the end that's what weight loss boils down to. Take in less calories than you expend and you lose.

And so with willpower. Whatever emotional, psychological issues cause you to be what you are, what goes in your mouth is at the very heart of it simply your choice. So it is about willpower to a large degree. Dont underestimate how much of that you are employing to lose weight with the band. It is so easy to just graze all day or eat easy foods or whatever and you dont. You do have willpower.

[PamRN 0]

Dr phil's fail safe environment... tried that one too... I just couldn't hang with it. My sweet tooth is much bigger than me. I'd find myself eating one thing after another trying to kill the craving, but until I ate what I wanted, nothing would appease it, so I'd end up eating more trying to stop it than I'd have gotten by just eating a snickers.

Preband I didn't eat in really large quantity, I am a grazer, but like many others...my late evening appetite could've taken down a lumber jack.... or at least his big blue ox...cooked slow, a little smokey... oh, sorry...

Anyway, the band stopped the evening over-eating since I'm restricted in the early am and late evening. I'm learning to find less evil ways to counter-act the sweet tooth, and I find that for me... Vines thought process works best. Seeing it NOT as something forbidden that I can't have, but as something no good; making it something I just don't want. If I think I have to have something in-house for visiting company...say Aunt Flo... then fine, I have it. I quit the deny myself what I want, and started the 'allow myself whatever I want, and don't I really want something good?' idea, and it's helping a lot.

Women are both physically and emotionally complex Dawg, & I'm sure you totally know this. Your woman seems equally as sharp, witty, and potentially axe wielding as the best of us here during especially hormonally challenging times... Does simply providing a fail safe environment work for her as well as it does you? My husband can drop 10 pounds in a month by simply cutting out a lunch treat... we don't function the same, I gain 10 simply thinking about one.

[Nykee 13]

Why bandsters and and the bandless, are you allowing temptation through your front door?

>>>> the temptation was a the store where they couldnt resist, then it got to the front door. At this point, one could throw it all away, return it to the store.. or unable to resist the temptation once again and bring it in the house. Once in the house of course its a daily temptation.

I dont think people bring tempting food into the house with the intent of not eating it.. the temptation was at the store and they brought it home.

I have seen many posts, by many people (the most recent was the evil cookie dough thread that triggered this post) talking about the terrible food they are allowing in their house.

>>>> They are allowing it in their bodies.. whats it matter if its in their house? I can run to the store and get any food I want at any time and so can most people. Having it 'in the house' doesnt really matter, if its in the house, you alreay decided to allow it into your body.

If its not cookie dough, its pizza being brought home by the spouse, ice cream to italian food.

>>>>>>>>this is alittle different. I am tempted many times by my kids food at times I prolly wouldnt have got it on my own. BUT If I didnt allow others to eat freely because of my disease, that would be wrong.

Plus, the store is one block away.. not much of a differnce IMO

NOW, IF I knew for a fact that a certain food item was a big problem for me and it was only a temptation when someone like a kid or a spouse brought it home. THAT WOULD ONLY HAPPEN ONCE. I would never let people disrespect me like that and be sad and hate them if they didnt care.

I fully understand that many of us have a clearly defined eating disorder (because thats how I view a lot of obesity) and that we suffer terrible cravings, but I have to ask why more of us (you) aren't putting our foot down and saying "GET THIS CRAP OUTA MY HOUSE".

>>>If I told anyone in my house to do do something specific like eat all your fast food before you get out of your car, or dont eat your bag of skittles or any candy in front of me, hide it and eat it alone.

THEY would...

This comes from my current dietary success. I am losing weight because there is no crap in the house. The chips are gone, the bread is gone, there's no ice cream, no beer, nothing I can go "ooo I want that" with.

>>>>> WEll THATS becasue you didnt BUY it while at the store. And everyday you dont buy it again.. and every minute you resist the urge to go buy that crap.. Good for you!!

I guess I just dont see how simply not having it in your house makes it so easy for you to avoid..

Now if I was completely unable to drive or shop and depended on others to fill my home with food and help me with meals, THAT would be GREAT.. lol, unable to have any access to bad food.. (break my legs please!) j/k

I think its about time we started fwapping the pizza Delivery spouse, beating the candy man and denying sexual favors to Kenny Cookiedough.

>>> Sabotage runs rampent in many relationships.. and the victem often doesnt feel she has the right to complain or make such demands.. its sad.

Come on folks, its hard enough to live the healthy life outside of your front door, please, my friends, stop bringing the crap inside your door

>>>When I buy the crap I am not thinking "I shouldnt bring this home , I might be tempted to eat it.. I DONE decided to eat it already..

Perhaps you might cry "But what of my family? They like ...". Well one of two things has to happen, success in your weight loss and ultimate health, or your family eating cookie dough and pizza.

>>>>There are lots of things I can buy for my family and I am not tempted by them, so thats what I do..

Like my kids can have ice cream cuz I dont get into it, if I do I just have a few bites to taste it.. They will heap their bowls and it doesnt temp me.. They can have muffins and donuts and pop and bagles and cream cheese, hot dogs and all sorts of stuff... dont matter to me.

But they cant have all kinds of other things like cocoa puffs cerial, pop tarts, tv dinners, lunchables, cheeze whiz, hot pockets, motzerella sticks ETC ETc.. Not anymore cuz I am too tempted by those foods.

Even if I cant have some of these foods anyway, who wants to have to look at the food you would realy like to eat but cant??

WHO cares, they still get tons of crap to choose from...

About pizza.. I cant have it anymore and I still let it in my house all the time. I cant imagine making Pizza forbidden. Its unamerican. lol

I sure did love pizza but my brain knows its impossible so it doesnt even feel deprived. (like it would if I had to resist it on my own will)

I just think looks good, but so does brad pitt and I cant have him either and accept it as a fact of life..

For me? its a no brainer.

>>>>> So, your real good about keeping foods out of the house to avoid temptations. Its a no brainer IYO, that if its not in the house, it doesnt temp you.

I think the real ability to resist temtations for you lies far beyond the level of not having it in your house. Your resisting it in so many ways. Your in control over your food cravings alot more than some people. Give your self alot more credit, NO one can temp you more than your own weekness.. Not your spouse, kids or our cuppord contents. You choose everyday to resist those temptations..

THATS NOt a simple little non brainer thing. THATs real Acheivement!

FOr me, My house can have no food in it at all and I will still be tempted.

So what if its not in the fridge, or cuppord. Its in my mind. I aint gonna just forget it exists cuz its not in my home..

I would need the entire city to keep the tempting items OFF their shelves and unavailable for human consumption.. lol

[kimalicious 5]

Dawg, here is my short and sweet answer: Because we are Fat!

Most of us have been doing this for years and have people in our house than can eat these treats in moderation and we like to make those people happy. It's easier said than done.

[Kryssa 1]

Ok, Paul, when I get home tonight I will tell my hubby that pizza, icecream, brownies, doughnuts, and most especially potato chips are no longer allowed in the house. Are you and P'nut going to take me in when he throws me out of the house? I'm married to the kind of guy who eats dinner at 7 and then has 2 PBJs before bedtime at 11. He's supportive, but I can't imagine him "depriving" himself. His weight nevers gets above 200 or below 190, no matter what he does! He eats alot and all he wants to eat is junk (ex: hotdogs are his favorite food). I have exactly the problem you describe because if its there I want it, and sometimes I find myself in the kitchen mindlessly eating what I just decided an hour ago I wasn't going to eat because it's not good for me. Thanks for having the courage to broach the topic; I know what I need to do, but I'm still going to feel guilty when DH and the kids look pitiful about their Cookies.< /p>

[CCBSTX 0]

You are ideally correct!

For myself, I TRY to keep my "trigger" foods out of the house.

Holidays are HORRIBLE (including Valentines). I've told family members to not buy alot of junk for the kids during these times (I eat them). My mother insists on doing it anyway. I just tossed her large box of "sugar free" chocolates (unopened), that she bought us for Valentine's. I will tell her not to buy me any again and I'm going to tell her what I did with them (in a nice way).

Shawn

[Jill_S 1]

Oh well, I have long since realized that those who don't feel they need/want additional help with weight loss sometimes think obesity is a problem with willpower.

For me, it is a problem with willpower. As in, it's helping me get some by learning the hard way that eating things that are "bad" for me are not going to get me what I want. This is not to say that it always wins *chuckle* but it's defintely got over a 50% success rate.

But it isn't that because "it's a willpower problem, I don't need any help" - quite the contrary. My band is my help.

[dawg 0]

Hmmm... unintentional finger pointing, eh?

I mean, I don't have a spouse/kids to buy No-No's for - but this post seems a bit pedantic and maybe even preachy.

Well, consider it preachy, consider it pedantic, consider it what you will.

I started out saying that if this wasn't you, this thread doesn't apply. I didn't really launch this for opinions of people to comment on negatively (and somewhat insultingly). I made this thread for people it applies to.

So, with respect, your opinion is noted, and ignored.

[vinesqueen 2]

This post is for the people who haven't figured out how to rationalize and one simple post saying "aha, lets go ahead and realize its just food and we can eat it or not, as we want" is going to provide them the glorious lightbulb to the problem they have had for decades.

Thanks for posting this.

One thing you probably don't realize, partly because you don't have the band and partly because p'nut hasn't reached this stage yet.

One of the things about the band is it forces us to look at past behaviours, forces us to learn new ways to deal with food, and many of us after being banded for a period of time, start to have real insights about why we deal with food the way we do. For some of us it is a flash of insight, an epifany if you will. Others come to the place of understanding more gradually and gently.

Right now, we have so many baby bandsters that they don't understand some of the process.

and telling me that this thread isn't for me makes me want to post on this thread all the more. You have, in effect, made it forbidden to me. If someone tells me that I can't have something, I want it all the more.

[dawg 0]

Ok, Paul, when I get home tonight I will tell my hubby that pizza, icecream, brownies, doughnuts, and most especially potato chips are no longer allowed in the house. Are you and P'nut going to take me in when he throws me out of the house? I'm married to the kind of guy who eats dinner at 7 and then has 2 PBJs before bedtime at 11. He's supportive, but I can't imagine him "depriving" himself. His weight nevers gets above 200 or below 190, no matter what he does! He eats alot and all he wants to eat is junk (ex: hotdogs are his favorite food). I have exactly the problem you describe because if its there I want it, and sometimes I find myself in the kitchen mindlessly eating what I just decided an hour ago I wasn't going to eat because it's not good for me. Thanks for having the courage to broach the topic; I know what I need to do, but I'm still going to feel guilty when DH and the kids look pitiful about their Cookies.

If your spouse is willing to choose potato chips over you, that makes me very sad.

This isn't a case of depriving him, its a case of preserving you. He can get snacky foods and eat em all day, all you would be asking is to help you preserve your sanity and help you not die from morbid obesity.

I've seen people state that they buy the crap because they want it. I've seen a lot say that they 'have' to buy it for their kids.

If you'd grown up being given a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar, would you now be obese? Now there's a concept.

I'm realistic, I really am. I didn't get obese through any means other than scoffing to much food. My ability to get food is what preserves me.

I'm legally blind and can not drive. The only food that comes into the house is healthy and I have no means to go and get it myself.

I don't have will power as much as I have protection from harm.

[MeganA 35]

I've resisted posting on this thread for as long as I can.

I'm not sure how the intial post can help anyone feel anything other than weak or bad or fill-in-the-blank with a negative word if you don't resist temptation. Why is food temptation? It's just food for pete's sake. That's all it is. It's not good or bad or happy or sad. It's food. You are not a good person or a weak person based on what you eat.

I will agree that creating new habits is extremly important on the banding journey. For you that may include keeping food out of your house that you don't want to eat or that isn't going to get you what you really want. But for some people, if they don't have it in their house it calls their name more strongly. Kinda like the guy who hasn't smoked in twenty years but keeps a pack in his nightstand. It takes different things for different people to make it through the day.

Dawg, it's really easy in the beginning to throw around proclamations. Be careful that you aren't setting *yourself* up for failure with all the "don'ts" and "can'ts".

Megan

[mrycrltn 2]

But it isn't that because "it's a willpower problem, I don't need any help" - quite the contrary. My band is my help

I agree with this statement. I can watch what I eat now because of the band. I don't deny myself anything. But, all I can eat of it is a bite or two.

[dawg 0]

Thanks for posting this.

One thing you probably don't realize, partly because you don't have the band and partly because p'nut hasn't reached this stage yet.

One of the things about the band is it forces us to look at past behaviours, forces us to learn new ways to deal with food, and many of us after being banded for a period of time, start to have real insights about why we deal with food the way we do. For some of us it is a flash of insight, an epifany if you will. Others come to the place of understanding more gradually and gently.

Right now, we have so many baby bandsters that they don't understand some of the process.

and telling me that this thread isn't for me makes me want to post on this thread all the more. You have, in effect, made it forbidden to me. If someone tells me that I can't have something, I want it all the more.

Vines you are welcome here anytime.

And I actually do understand a great deal of what you are talking about and this is because I know a lot about nutrition. I'm a former food chemist and microbiologist and knowing food was my living.

I've also been a professional organaleptic assessor (thats a food taster). I am by nature analytical and I am determined to take the back off the watch of the universe to see how it ticks.

The fact is I have seen bansters with one, two or even three years under their belt (band) who are crying out, just as I have said.

While I accept that you Vines, and may others, have come to terms with their demons, many have not.

I'm open to any discussion, and I'm enjoying the thread, the bottom line is that I created this thread for specific people.

If I get one person on a better path, I've achieved my goal.

[dawg 0]

I've resisted posting on this thread for as long as I can.

I'm not sure how the intial post can help anyone feel anything other than weak or bad or fill-in-the-blank with a negative word if you don't resist temptation. Why is food temptation? It's just food for pete's sake. That's all it is. It's not good or bad or happy or sad. It's food. You are not a good person or a weak person based on what you eat.

I will agree that creating new habits is extremly important on the banding journey. For you that may include keeping food out of your house that you don't want to eat or that isn't going to get you what you really want. But for some people, if they don't have it in their house it calls their name more strongly. Kinda like the guy who hasn't smoked in twenty years but keeps a pack in his nightstand. It takes different things for different people to make it through the day.

Dawg, it's really easy in the beginning to throw around proclamations. Be careful that you aren't setting *yourself* up for failure with all the "don'ts" and "can'ts".

Megan

Well, if I fail, then I'm dead. So we will be able to continue this discussion in heaven (if thats your belief system).

And as for beginning, I've been fighting my weight for 25 years, if thats beginning, I'd hate to know how long I have to go before I'm considered experienced.

And if food isn't a temptation, why do people cry because they suffer?

If its just food... why do they cry?

Explain that to me.