NEVER, NEVER AGAIN....

Leatibug · March 3, 2011

were you trying to prove CM's point? strange, didn't you read the thread? :der: oh well.....

I'm not sure how I am proving CM's point. I was trying to point out that I had lapse and didn't gain any weight. I felt the band was working in my favor because while I made few bad choices at Disneyland; I was still limited in my overall intake ! Anyway, I'm very happy with my band!

JourneyGirl · March 4, 2011

Actually, I don't think you know where I'm coming from. Did you not read my posts #62, #65? What don't you understand? You don't strike me as someone who can't figure things out.

The OP had the band removed and a gastric bypass revision. What possible contribution did that self-congratulatory post make? I asked that anyone show how a post like that provides anything to the OP. It doesn't. It was insulting. And when I see a struggling poster insulted, I come to the defense.

If you have followed my posts you will see that I don't insult struggling posters. I do offer support and some suggestions even though the band has never worked for me as promoted. And I don't feel the need to defend the band. But I can still offer some advice about things I have tried or things that might work.

You don't want to know my story. Well, my story has been out there so I guess you missed it. Everything in my life has been a struggle. I battled breast cancer at the same time my husband was losing his battle to cancer. I became a widow at 54. I got this band so that I wouldn't have to struggle with this battle with hunger that I've had all my adult life. But the band has failed me in that regard. Any success I have had has been mine. Not the band's. And so I continue to struggle with hunger.

And I couldnt' care less if you don't like me. I am not on here to win some popularity contest. Those who have been on here long enough to know my posts know that I am not a rude person but I will condemn a post that I think is inappropriate, harsh, insulting or blaming to a struggling poster. It's one thing if the OP asks for it (a kick in the pants). This OP did not.

And as I've said before - there are plenty of forums on here for success, rah, rah, rah, I love the band stories. They don't need to be put "in your face" with strugglers.

Actuallyl what I said was "I can understand where you are coming from by saying that the OP doesn't want to hear about others success when they are struggling." So why ask me why I don't understand? If I don't agree with you 100% then I must not understand any parts of it.... OK! :rolleyes: I clearly said "What I don't understand is why you seem to have something (not positive) to say to many people who are for the band?" Not about the band itself but to the ones posting success. And not because you feel they are insulting the OP! You are clearly mad and bitter and taking out the fact that your band didn't work the way you were told it would on others who are successful with it! But hey, that's not rude or insulting in any way right?

As for the contribution to the post? Well, the OP isn't the only one who reads the posts! There are all different people who read it. Those who have failed with the band, those struggling, those who are finding success and those who are researching! So those who are researching the band should be able to hear success in the same thread. Why not? Oh yes, because there is a "rah, rah, rah" section, that's right.. And no one came out and insulted the OP. Yes I understand (and yes I can understand it, you don't need to make some smart remark about it) YOU feel that it was/is an insult to the OP. So that means that you can get up on your high horse and speak to others like you do? Nope, that's not smug.

And yes, I have noticed that you do not insult struggling posts, only the poster of something you don't like and those who say it is a "tool" and are being successful. That I got!! Also I never said you had to defend the band, go back and reread it. I wrote "So telling others of how it doesn't work for everyone is fine, that is your opinion."

I said " I don't know your story and don't need to know it." That is different from saying I don't want to know your story. The point was that I don't need to know your band story to get that you aren't a fan of the lap-band, it is obvious. And yes, I did miss your "story" because you seem to be rude to some posters and I skip over your replies because I don't want to read the way you talk to others and they provide me with nothing positive, which as a new bandster I would like as opposed to the insults being flung around. As for what you have been through, I am sorry. Loss isn't easy, I know that first hand.

As for not liking you, this is what I wrote "Maybe I am misunderstanding/reading your posts. I am sure you are going to try to slam bast me as well but I am only asking so I can understand when I read the replies by you instead of ... honestly,,, starting to dislike you, when I don't even know you." PARDON ME for asking you, to see if I was misunderstanding what you wrote before I decided that you were one I would skip over. How awful of me to not assume I knew how you meant things to come across and think of you as aggressive.

I didn't read a single post to this thread where anyone was kicking the OP in the pants. You had a bad experience and are bitter and taking it out where it doesn't belong.

Don't bother responding unless that is what you need to do to make yourself feel better. This is a thread that I will not be reading anymore. Putting others down because you feel the OP was insulted and you have that right to "condemn" them isn't something I want a part of. It's a waste. I want the support, not all this ugliness, oh yes, I must go to the rah, rah, rah, in your face section!

And Humming Bird - my point in the post I made first wasn't to be rude to the OP! Telling her I knew someone who gained all their weight back with the GNY. If you would have read more it also said that I knew someone who lost all her weight but only gained back 20lbs. Continue on with the post and it talks about much more. How quickly we forget.

Cleo's Mom · March 4, 2011

Actuallyl what I said was "I can understand where you are coming from by saying that the OP doesn't want to hear about others success when they are struggling." So why ask me why I don't understand? If I don't agree with you 100% then I must not understand any parts of it.... OK!I guess I don't get what is so hard to understand that when a person who has had so many problems with the band, HAD IT REMOVED, and revised to RNY and someone posts that if the surgery had been a failure it would be their failure and not the band's- that a post like that doesn't belong here. That statement, and the rest of the post, means nothing else other than - hey, you're the failure because you didn't try hard enough like I did. And somehow I'm the bad guy. Yea, right. I clearly said "What I don't understand is why you seem to have something (not positive) to say to many people who are for the band?" I don't have a problem when people who have been successful offer good suggestions and advice. But I do have a problem when their posts are judgemental of strugglers. Some OP's ask for a kick in the pants. And those kinds of posts might work then. But not on this particular thread. Not about the band itself but to the ones posting success. And not because you feel they are insulting the OP! You are clearly mad and bitter and taking out the fact that your band didn't work the way you were told it would on others who are successful with it! But hey, that's not rude or insulting in any way right? I guess the new word in those who are critical of me is "bitter". You will have to be more specific. I have checked my posts here and have been honest about my experience. I have also offered advice to others strugglers about things they might try. And I guess in your convulated thinking that makes me bitter. Wow.

As for the contribution to the post? Well, the OP isn't the only one who reads the posts! There are all different people who read it. Those who have failed with the band, those struggling, those who are finding success and those who are researching! So those who are researching the band should be able to hear success in the same thread.The post that I took exception to wasn't about success it was about rubbing the OP's face in her failure by basically saying that she failed the band. Now, can you imagine if you had to have the band removed after tons of problems and revise to RNY how you would receive that message? Why not? Oh yes, because there is a "rah, rah, rah" section, that's right.. And no one came out and insulted the OP. Yes I understand (and yes I can understand it, you don't need to make some smart remark about it) YOU feel that it was/is an insult to the OP. So that means that you can get up on your high horse and speak to others like you do? Nope, that's not smug.I don't see where I have been on my high horse or insulted anyone specifically. Again, specifics??? I took exception to one post. Didn't say anything about the poster.

And yes, I have noticed that you do not insult struggling posts, only the poster of something you don't like and those who say it is a "tool" and are being successful. That I got!! Also I never said you had to defend the band, go back and reread it. I wrote "So telling others of how it doesn't work for everyone is fine, that is your opinion."

I said " I don't know your story and don't need to know it." That is different from saying I don't want to know your story. The point was that I don't need to know your band story to get that you aren't a fan of the lap-band, it is obvious. And yes, I did miss your "story" because you seem to be rude to some posters Again, you will have to show me where I have been rude to individual posters (plural) or retract this statement. and I skip over your replies because I don't want to read the way you talk to others again - examples? You have nothing and you know it. and they provide me with nothing positive, which as a new bandster I would like as opposed to the insults being flung around. Again, where are all these insults to posters being flung around? As for what you have been through, I am sorry. Loss isn't easy, I know that first hand.

As for not liking you, this is what I wrote "Maybe I am misunderstanding/reading your posts. I am sure you are going to try to slam bast me as well but I am only asking so I can understand when I read the replies by you instead of ... honestly,,, starting to dislike you, when I don't even know you." PARDON ME for asking you, to see if I was misunderstanding what you wrote before I decided that you were one I would skip over. How awful of me to not assume I knew how you meant things to come across and think of you as aggressive.

How could you possibly be misunderstanding anything I posted when you have made it very clear up to this point that I am bitter, rude, fling insults, negative, etc..? In your opinion.

I didn't read a single post to this thread where anyone was kicking the OP in the pants. You had a bad experience and are bitter and taking it out where it doesn't belong.

Don't bother responding unless that is what you need to do to make yourself feel better. This is a thread that I will not be reading anymore. Putting others down because you feel the OP was insulted and you have that right to "condemn" them isn't something I want a part of. It's a waste. I want the support, not all this ugliness, oh yes, I must go to the rah, rah, rah, in your face section!

Of course you won't be back because you have nothing to back up your accusations about me. Just a lot of insults and no proof. Typical.

I also noticed that those who feel compelled to attack me because I speak the truth about the band not working for everyone, and not for me, are not yet banded or newly banded. I think they attack me out of fear that someday they might share my experience. And it could happen. Don't shoot the messenger.

Also, you should go back and read posts #24, 41, 54, 55, 56, 58, and 60 and ask yourself why you feel the need to attack ME? These were not pro-band posts. Maybe because my truth hits a little too close to home.

And Humming Bird - my point in the post I made first wasn't to be rude to the OP! Telling her I knew someone who gained all their weight back with the GNY. If you would have read more it also said that I knew someone who lost all her weight but only gained back 20lbs. Continue on with the post and it talks about much more. How quickly we forget.

JourneyGirl · March 4, 2011

@ CM as far as fearing one day the I will fail at the band and not coming back to read this thread:

I forgot to unsubscribe to the thread, grrrr. So I did get your reply. I choose not to come back to read because I have no desire to argue like I was in middle school again. It isn't fair to readers, they don't want to see/read it and neither do I. This is a support forum, not a hot topics forum.

To clear what you said up, for the last time, I have no fear that someday I may fail at the band! Could it happen? Sure, it does to many. I have already been successful, only 1.5 weeks out of surgery. I am mentally and emotionally ready for the band (that is why I got it). I WILL succeed and my success story will be found with the others! Whether the band works or not, I will beat obesity.

I am sorry you feel I was attacking you. I merely asked you a question and you fired back all defensive. I then took what you wrtote and answered what you said. Not attacking at all. But again, I am sorry you feel that way. I am not one to attack! I ask so there isn't misunderstanding, I don't like to assume anything. But in this case I seem to have been right.

Good luck.

Rainydayz · March 4, 2011

@ CM as far as fearing one day the I will fail at the band and not coming back to read this thread:

I forgot to unsubscribe to the thread, grrrr. So I did get your reply. I choose not to come back to read because I have no desire to argue like I was in middle school again.

And yet, here you are!! Welcome to LapBand Jr. High!

Cleo's Mom · March 4, 2011

@ CM as far as fearing one day the I will fail at the band and not coming back to read this thread:

I forgot to unsubscribe to the thread, grrrr. So I did get your reply. I choose not to come back to read because I have no desire to argue like I was in middle school again. It isn't fair to readers, they don't want to see/read it and neither do I. This is a support forum, not a hot topics forum.

To clear what you said up, for the last time, I have no fear that someday I may fail at the band! Could it happen? Sure, it does to many. I have already been successful, only 1.5 weeks out of surgery. I am mentally and emotionally ready for the band (that is why I got it). I WILL succeed and my success story will be found with the others! Whether the band works or not, I will beat obesity.

I am sorry you feel I was attacking you. I merely asked you a question and you fired back all defensive. I then took what you wrtote and answered what you said. Not attacking at all. But again, I am sorry you feel that way. I am not one to attack! I ask so there isn't misunderstanding, I don't like to assume anything. But in this case I seem to have been right.

Good luck.

Just as I thought, you have nothing to back up your specific accusations and attacks against me. I sure hope that your experience with the band is successful and it doesn't fail you but there are no guarantees.

And as far as those who don't want to read these posts - well, I guess they can stay off this thread or skip over them.

Good luck to you, too.

Nanook · March 4, 2011

I think Cleo's Mom is just being honest about her struggle with the lap band and trying to help others. Sometimes people put blinders on and see the band as their magic golden ticket or something and it doesn't always work that way no matter how they work the band. She just shows that even though she followed all the "rules" that she still didn't get the results promised to her by Lap Band! Also that there are some greedy doctors out there that will do almost anything for $$.

I think that it can be very difficult to tell who the band will help and who it will not help, that is my honest opinion because I came to this site a long time ago when I got my band installed searching for answers as to why it wasn't working for me. I thought that maybe I'd get some answers here that would be the clue into what my problem with the band was and could turn it around from gaining on the band to losing like I bought it for! But after a few months here I still got no answers and did come across many of the smug people that said things like "it's only a tool" and when your band is not working and you hear that it's very frustrating to say the least! I then learned that it works for some and not for all and that's that and I wasted my time and body on the band and should have had a different WLS to begin with. I also went to see my surgeon or his PA for all my fills and checkups on a regular schedule and after a year of trying the band and it not working we decided it was time to discuss it's removal.

I was very depressed after this "failure" of mine that I didn't even think of revising to another WLS after my surgeon removed my band. Physically I was having terrible GERD And was put in the ER for chest pains and because of that and my weight gain and not loss my insurance company covered it's removal. After the band was removed my normal size stomach once again appeared and I gained ever more weight so that I weighed more than I had prior to banding just like another failed diet, which is kind of my impression of the lap band although not everyones!

It took a few months of soul searching and how I wanted to deal with this and also discussion with my surgeon that we would go ahead and revise to RNY. At that time I joined a support group which also helped me with my decision. I also have a daughter who had been successful with her RNY and two nieces now who have had it. So I went for it and even though RNY is not a magic golden ticket either I at least felt like I had some success and am at the point now where the weightloss stopped and so did the malabsorption of calories and I'm basically on my own now. I've put on about ten pounds since the fall and am honest to say it happens not with everyone but with many. I know that you go through stages with RNY and I'm just in that one now and am dealing with it.

Anyway before we start knocking down CM with honest story of her experience with the lap band I think as others have said just because it works for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone and trying to figure that out before you have surgery is probably the most difficult task a person has! I wish everyone well with whatever WLS they choose because it can be a very difficult road, Nanook!