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CrazyCatLady's Blog
 

...gaining Weight?!?

I was all prepared for a stall...but not for this.   For the last 4 days, I have consistently gained 3/4 to half a pound....EVERY STINKING DAY.   I'm not close to my period, so that's not it.   I don't have any new or unusual edema, so that's not it.   My bowels move twice every day (damn those loose stools), so that's not it.   This is driving me insane!   I am still having difficulty getting in fluids. I barely hit 40oz yesterday, and I really really had to screw with my day to get in that much. I'm back to sliming when I attempt to consume plain water, so I've been drinking water with a little lemon in it, or decaf iced tea. Ocassional Crystal Lite, but it just tastes way way too sweet these days.   Yesterday's intake: 2oz low-salt turkey breast, 1.5oz rotisserie chicken breast, 3 all-beef gluten/dairy free meatballs. That's about my capacity. I miss veggies terribly.   My blood clotting factor keeps dropping, even with the Warfarin, so the hematologist's office kicked me off my vitamins until they can stabilize how thin my blood is...since not throwing a clot is the top priority right now.   I'm just so damn frustrated right now. I mean, there should be no way that I am gaining weight on such a small amount of calories. Logically, I know there can be a myriad of reasons for scale gain...but the fact that I'm not losing many inches is just the cherry on top.   /endrant
CrazyCatLady

CrazyCatLady

1
chunkychic30's Blog
 

Frustrated

So tomorrow will be 4 weeks post op, and I am at a big time stall. Haven't lost any weight since around day 12. only weighting once a week but when i do its the same number. I know not to compare to others , however considering I am on the heavy side i thought i mite loose faster. In the first 12 days i lost 20lbs , now gained 2 back ?????? what the hec ??. I get plenty of protein daily and and doing great on mushies. any suggestions , I feel like i lost more when i was doing it on my own (fyi lost 73lbs pre op) Is this just a stall or should i be concerned ?
chunkychic30

chunkychic30

0
lizzyshade's Blog
 

Have It Bad

You know you have it bad when you read a post that talks about being so hungry that a person decided to chew some food and spit it out, just to feel like they were eating, and instead of being grossed out, you think damned, that sounds good! That's what 21 days on fat free milk only does to your mind Suregery tomorrow, thank God!
lizzyshade

lizzyshade

3
My Journey to Onederland!
 

Day 6Postop, Feeling Amazing

I slept really well last night...actually amazingly well. I even rolled to my side which was a huge accomplishment. I have virtually no pain today. I do want to give a shout out to my sleeve sister phatdiva! She makes this much easier!   I am 14lbs down as of this morning...is that great? I'm afraid its one of those water weight things,like the first week u diet u lose lbs and then they are back the next week...is that going to happen?   My husband has been eating alll types of wonderful things in front of me, testing my head...ialmost want tocry. Clear liquids suck, I can't wait for full liquids. Although I miss texture I really miss flavors.   How are you doing?
2BonederfulAgain

2BonederfulAgain

0
kong00's Blog
 

Cristiano Ronaldo Boots Memory Blurred Shadow

Knot Twenty-six ancient township down a cup) knot heartbroken wine residual tears in the Ukraine half Pei pure land to cover up her grave can not forget her soul in the heart forever bronze mirror reflects your sleeves makeup elegant locked eyebrow up the sword cut to thousands of sorrow before the Buddha lamp hum softly played six circles Soccer Cleatsof the door at but the tears of a symbol of war in ancient China broke the appearance you light makeup stand in the cold off at that I cut soft somehow return no death silently waiting just for the plum tree you sent me for my hair blew several white light burning me "Fly" "Fly" in 1 when I only keep one, imagination fly in vivo butterfly into the moonlight, the son gradually thin I became more and more light, almost no weight if butterflies will fly back, not into the lips 2 I clearly remember butterfly bones from the day it fell in the stiff from minor flaps its wings, tell me it's powerful. But Nike CR Mercurial Superflywhen I close it, but fly once again this time, it flew very high 3 Butterfly died, it's beautiful, inexplicable short this time, I'm sure it's dead, no longer to fly but I dream of it, in the imagine it's alive 4 "butterfly really dead" until long after I define a language can not be sad to cry out deep light while I open hands fly wall Black Butterfly quietly fly, and fly 5 I could not look back, Memory blurred shadow When you find one day in the future when you think of me when you suddenly can't contact me kiss you please accept the cruel fact I already did not want again and any contact when when when you QQ find me when when when your phone book not to be able to find me when when your mailbox to find me when when when the kiss kiss kiss to at that time that I had been completely forget this
kong00

kong00

0
lizzyshade's Blog
 

Nerves

The nerves have set in today, I have this anxious energy that won't stop. It's like I've been nesting today, cleaning, bills, shopping, planning and so on. I just want tomorrow to go fast so I can get this part over! My brain won't stop thinking about everything, "am I doing the right thing, for the right reasons, is it selfish when I have a family to consider, would I ever be able to do it another way, don't I deserve this, what if something goes wrong, what will I look like in a year".... and on and on it goes. All the mental debates I've had over the months streaming back through two nights before. Even with the doubts, I know this is the right choice! Just last minute jitters I guess. My husband and I are going for an hour massage tomorrow, then we will get a clear fluid of some kind and walk for a while. Later I will pack for the hospital and then go to be early (if I can sleep) so I will be well rested for surgery on Tuesday. I'm so lucky to have a man like my husband in my life! He took a week off work to be with me every step of the way. I'm really thankful he is mine! 2 nights to go!
lizzyshade

lizzyshade

0
Phat Diva on a Mission Blog
 

Post-Op - I Am Ready!

I am 3 days post-op. My first day was horrible because of gas pain, nausea and vomiting. I was afraid I would hurt my sleeve. Also I was hooked up to a bunch of monitors because my blood pressure sky rocketed. The dry heaves really hurt your belly. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. Day 2 was a little better. I asked for pain and nausea medicine like clockwork to help me cope. I also slept a lot. My iron count was very low too. I had to get an iron transfusion. The gas pains seemed to go away but I'm still scared of hurting my sleeve. Day 3 there was little nausea but no dry heaves or retching. I did vomit a lot of foamy stuff. I'm home now and I feel better. I didn't sleep well last night. I have 3 small and 1 big incisions above my belly button. I wasn't scared going into the surgery but I feel a mini meltdown coming over me. I have tons of meds and vitamins to take (approx 10) including levonox shots I have to give myself to prevent blood clots.   I'm keeping it real with you. You have to be strong. You have to know what you want.   This is going to be a lifesaver for me so I keep focused on that. Most people feel like themselves by the 5th day post-op I'm told and have experienced. My friend was sleeved on the 15th and she is going back to work tomorrow. I took a week off from work. The doctor wants me to take two weeks.
phatdivabbw

phatdivabbw

2
Phat Diva on a Mission Blog
 

I Am Sleeved - Post-Op Day 3

Three days post-op and I'm feeling better everyday. I'm not going to lie and tell you how awesome my experience was. SMH After surgery I felt surreal. I couldn't believe I actually gave consent for 85% of my stomach to be removed forever! I felt like I had been beat up bad! I was hooked up to monitors because my blood pressure had skyrocted!! I had the urge to pee but couldn't. The nurses encourage you to drink and I couldn't get anything in. two little baby sips and I became nauseous and had dry heaves, retching and vomiting up some yucky stuff. I had loose stools and getting to the bathroom was a mess. The nurses did not respond to the call bells so I started unhooking myself from the monitors and going to the bathroom.   A lady came from intergrative medicine to give me pressure point acupuncture to help with the nausea but whatever she did made it worse and I started to vomit. This made my belly sore. I was scare to death all the heaving would hurt my new sleeve. The doc assured me this was normal and most women experience severe nausea because of the part of the stomach being removed. She suggested I take my nausea meds before trying to drink. I could not get discharged until I was able to drink. So two day later I was discharged. Today was my first real day home and I went out to take a walk this morning and too a little stroll in the park too. I came up short on my liquid intake. I should be drinking 3-4 ounces every hour this week and a minimum of 48 ounces total. I have to work on that because I don't want to get dehydrated.
phatdivabbw

phatdivabbw

0
tiredoffat's Blog
 

Nervous, Excited, Scared!

Ok, first blog was me venting and in a very bad negative space. I know have a date and a non negative husband. I have decided not to tell anyone in my family because they will just make me go off and never speak to them again. People that are close to their family does not understand how a person can stop talking to family. Well, for the people that are not close to family- I know you feel me. Don't get me wrong, I love my family but the minute I tell them something that will better myself, the only positive person of course is my mom. But she can't hold water, so she is in the dark too.   Anyway..... negative family is another blog. Now I would like to talk about the date of my new beginning, June 4th!!!!! Everytime I think about it, I get this big nervousness in my stomach. I have never had major surgery. And I am not good with pain. I have read horrible stories and I know that the majority of the problems that will arise after the surgery will be your fault if you do not follow your doc orders. If you know you are not supposed to eat or drink this.. then why do you do it. All last week I kept thinking about food I am going to miss. My mexican food, my margaritas, my juicy steaks, my royal burger from red robin, my cookie dough ice cream from baskin robins. I thought about all that then I stood up. I felt the pain in my knees and my feet. I saw the yeast that is developing in my rolls and under my size 46 F breast that are pointing to my toes. I looked at the marks between my thighs from the rubbing together. I thought about my husband not holding me in bed because i have to sleep close to my cpap. I look at my fat fingers that won't let me take my ring off. If I take it off, I can't put it back on. I think about me playing basketball with my daughter and having to stop in the first 15 minutes because I am out of breathe. I look at a dest full of medicine and I am only 34 years old. I look at that damn cpap machine that is ruining my sex life and cuddle time. I think about how my husband will get up and go in the next room because of my snoring when I don't wear the cpap. I think about the smell coming between my legs because of the sweat of my overlaping belly covering my va-ga ga. I think about having to ask for seat belt extensions when I have to fly. I think about no one wanting to room with the fat girl at conferences with my job. I think about crying in the dressing room when I go shoppping. I think about me not swimming (something that I love to do) because I don't like how I look in a bathing suit. So... when I think of those things and could give a damn about the food I am going to miss. The food and my laziness when it comes to exercising and my yo yo dieting are the reasons why I am getting this surgery anyway.   I get scared with I think about the long term complications because no one really knows the long term complications. I would like to talk to 10 to 20 years post op people. I have read blogs from 5 years out, some wish they never did it, some are so happy they have a life now. I want to be the person who is 60 and looking damn fine and feeling fine as well. I don't want to be the woman with so many complications from WLS that she still can't do anything with her husband or daughter. The good outweighs the bad, but I am constantly thinking about the bad now. Is that normal?   I have to go. I am getting my MBA online at the University of Phoenix and I have a paper to do. But these are my thoughts. Just wanted to share with everyone. Please have me in your prayers. That I have the strength to do what I need to do to stay healthy. That I have the love and the support I need to stay positive. And that I have a safe surgery.   Thanks and many blessings to all Lay-Lay
jennifer1's Blog
 

One Year Aniversary

OK this will be brief cuz I don't have my laptop...ugh..but u u can go to my you tube page and see my video for today. Lost 40 pounds.went from size 20 to 12..shoe size from 9 1/2 to 8... Many nsv's..would do it again in heartbeat..thanks for al ur support! Sorry so brief but typing on my tablet is annoying..lol
jennifer1

jennifer1

7
babydumplin1968's Blog
 

Almost

Just 4 more days until I am banded... completed my final office visit and surgery registration this past Friday... actually I'm not too nervous.. just ready to begin my new (healthy) life...
babydumplin1968

babydumplin1968

3
Grandcherokee's Blog
 

Rings And Underware !

OK so I was banded in Feb. of this year (2012) and so far I am doing great...I eat right and exercise on a regular basic...Drink only non carbonated/ no caffine drinks..My clothes inventory is getting thin......I will not be happy until my ring size and my underware are the same number ! The way I am going.....my undies may win the race ! HA !!! Who's with me???   Good bye granny panties ....
Grandcherokee

Grandcherokee

6
Lisa's Hope's Blog
 

Last Night Of My Old Life

Well it is my last night of my old life. Surgery at 11:30 in the morning. I can't seem to get things ready. I still haven't even packed my bag yet. I am terrified but know what ever happens is God's will and it is out of my hands at this point.   It is hard to describe how I feel today. I;m apprehensive but so ready to be on the other side. I pray that the pain isn't too bad and my surgery is uneventful. Sometimes I feel like I'm being selfish when I pray for myself. I have a strong Christian faith and I know that HE is in control not me. I'm keep holding on to that.   Thanks everyone for listening to me whine about everything since my journey began. You guys rock! I'm not really one of those people that says "the glass is half full".... I'm sure you've caught on to that reading my post. I will, however, go into this surgery with a positive attitude.   Thanks to this forum for helping me to this point. Tomorrow is the beginning to my my new life.   Next blog will be on the other side!
Lisa's Hope

Lisa's Hope

3
4ALongerLife's Blog
 

Two Days Later, Plateau Patty Here And Clothes Are Looser? Lol Go Figure

Thanks to those of you that did read my last whiney arsed post. I am still worried about the hospital bill, but you know I've been reading some bible entries (no I'm not the most biblical nor the most church going person; however, I'm in a women's study group of "seeing yourself through god's eyes" and it has helped me a bit). I sometimes forget that with my faith, everything will work out in the end.   We never have ppl over, it's a rarity. IDK why, we are hermits I guess. But one of the parents that helped us tremendously whenever I was in the hospital for the month of March, we had them over for dinner last night. I didn't know the dad was an atheist. He's been through a lot of physical abuse from his dad in his life and he said that's why he doesn't believe in God. He doesn't understand how a God can let bad things happen to people. Well, you know, I don't either but I told him it made me sad. Maybe I sound naive, but through all of my trials and tribulations, I have been angry at God and pissed at the world before - and God still is there - and He's still blessed me through my worst and loved me through it all. I've seen His blessings in my life. I don't know why bad things happen to good people.   One of the passages in the study that I am doing talked of God teaching us all lessons. Perhaps this parent that came over, his was where his lessons crossed and where his dad's lessons crossed as well. A few days ago Passion of the Christ was on PBS. I've never seen it and it was more than 1/2 over whenever I caught it on t.v. It shocked me how terribly they beat Jesus. Ok so I do sound naive, but I remember going to Catholic school for 8 years (as a non-Catholic, yes I was baptist going to private catholic school. Why? I think my parents wanted to keep me segregated. Written with total sarcasm: They loved that I married a black man........ but that's another therapy session/entry at another time...). I never understood the full extent of how they beat Jesus until I saw that scene - I really thought of it as an adult. Why did God allow all of that pain to be inflicted on His son? There was a point at the end - and in a long winded fashion, that's what trials and tribulations are for all of us. Lessons to be learned. Character that is grown through trials and tribulations.   Most of us are experiencing a trial in something that we share and that's weight loss (or grrr for the plateau patty's out there like me, the non weight loss at times, double grrr). I just hope most of us have the faith to know that God is there through whatever trial or tribulation. He has blessings in store for us, if we remain faithful. I'm having my moments on hospital bills and life and weight loss. But I will be ok. I know God's got my back, in the end. Doesn't mean the road won't be hard and that I won't cry or whine (y'all forgive me pls for that); however, thank you to those that help pick me up whenever I feel like I can't or that I feel like I am not worth it. We all have our moments..... thank you for picking me up whenever I have mine.   OH and btw, I DID get on the scale this morning. I'm down another .5 lb. Dang it, I'm counting it! lol... 59.5 total I think. I went today and tried on clothes at Ross (I am a cheapskate, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ross) - and they all fit, some even being too big. So again to those that have said whenever I have a stall "have you measured yourself?" Well no, I don't measure.. but trying on clothes today SHOWED me keep on going. Remain in faith - you'll be surprised how God blesses you (and that I KNOW for sure).   So I hope someone that is in doubt, or may be struggling and may not speak up about it reads this, because I sincerely know how you feel. Remember pls you aren't alone.   And thank you to those that lift me up ... thank you much. Ok rambling rita signing off, lol... I wish you all blessings! xoxo   PS - OH and I leave you with one of my favorite quotes, I think it's from eggface.... I've been trying to remember this lately: Weight loss is a journey, not a destination. PSS - The other quote I love (and was in my studies, I saw it this morning): This too shall pass.   PSSS - And from my yoga class this morning (omg I thought I was gonna die, I wanted to quit at one point, it was hard but I stuck it out, just like life), the teacher was talking about yoga and comparing the stances to trials in life. He had a point. If you aren't happy or satisfied or whatever, stop and focus... not on others, not on what they have or have done, but on you and your blessings essentially... so remember : What is your focus?
4ALongerLife

4ALongerLife

0
Taking Those First Steps
 

Two Days Out, So Far So Good!

I'm two days post-op and I'm actually surprised at how good I feel. It feels like I did about 500 sit-ups, my stomach is pretty sore, but other than that I feel great. I haven't felt one bit of hunger. I spent the first afternoon and full post-op day 1 sipping a protein drink and water, then today started in following the two weeks of liquids menu my surgeon/dietician gave me. Breakfast called for 8 ounces of Greek Yogurt. I got about 4 ounces in and felt full. It was an amazing feeling! Before the band I would NEVER feel full. It was a different feeling - it was more in my chest than my stomach, but I felt the signal and at the first sign I knew to stop. I'm comitted to being a good bandster, so I'm following the rules to a T. Tomorrow I'm set to go back to work and I think I'll be fine. The surgeon said as long as I felt okay, going back 3 days post-op would be okay.   My post-op appointment is May 30th and this morning I weighed in at 222.4. I would love nothing more to be in the 215ish range when I see the surgeon, so it's time to step up the exercise.
jen_1381

jen_1381

2
LovetheNewMe's Blog
 

Personal Pity Party

Well Diane is having her own personal pity party. Go figure. I got my feelings hurt yesterday probably not the first time nor will it be the last but this time I am really having trouble shaking it. So who was the wonderful person who decided to be so honest with me my "loving husband", I type that with much sarcasm and anger at this moment. As all of you on this site know I have lost a lot of weight over the past 19 months, 103 lbs to be exact. I am very proud of the fact that I have been able to be successful with lapband and it has not been without ups and downs and struggles along the way. So what did the "jerk" say that hurt so much. Well here it goes, we were working outside trying to get the pool open and I had to get in the pool to srub the sides and bottom so I went to put on a swim suit. OMG, as I am sure all of you are aware of is that when you lose a lot of weight your skin does not always snap right back into place. Go figure, right! Well Mr. Brilliant says to me, "Honey, you know you are damn sexy looking except for one thing." WHAT? He repeats himself, now knowing he has crossed the path of no return. EXCEPT for WHAT??? Well I am not sure you know it or not but your THIGHS really look just AWFUL. Oh yeah, he did say it. I think I turned into let me see a TIGER, no may be a RATTLESNAKE, or may be it was SCORPION. So WTF?? Does he not think I look in the mirror everyday and see what I look like without my cloths on? Why does he think I am literal working my ASS off at a gym 3 times a week and doing cardio 6-7 days a week. So have you figured out I am just a little touchy about how I look? I have been struggling for months with my body image, I still saw the fat me for months when I looked into the mirror it was not until just the past month that I was starting to accept the new me. Starting to notice that working out was paying off, I even felt my thighs were looking better, not perfect. But for real, I used to weigh 252 lbs on 5'1' frame what do you expect. I am just hurt, pissed, mad and just can't believe he said it. So what did I do last night, I binged. I reverted back to an old behavior. Well of course binging these days is much different than before, but still I hate the fact that I allowed what someone said to cause me to go back to an old coping behavior. So today I feel hurt, guilty and just totally like a failure. I have tried all day to make this into a positive but I am struggling, I am trying to be a big girl and realize that everyone has an opinion but I guess my feeling is that because he said it, it is how he really feels. So to him, I look awful. I looked awful fat and I look awful thin, so what now.   Well I guess I could continue to feel sorry for myself and give into bad past behaviors or I can just put this into prospective. I know I have lose skin, that is a given. I know I have worked to do to try and tighten up, that is also a given and why I hired a personal trainer and am working my butt off. I spent my afternoon reading the forums for other posts that could help me and this is one I read that really hoped me put into prospective what I feel: "Don't listen to the inner dialogs that continues to put you down despite your success. Because it won't suddenly start happening once you get plastic surgery. Choose to celebrate your achievements now." To take the above statement a little further I will not allow others to sabotage what I have worked so hard to achieve. I could chose to have plastic surgery to rid my self of the lose skin I have but I have chosen to try and tighten up with exercise, it takes longer may not be perfect but I do not want the scars that come with plastic surgery. I will not go back to being that person, the person who used cheeseburgers, chips and Fry's to comfort her. I don't want to be that person, I will not be that person and further more I am not that person anymore. So there hubby take that, maybe you have your own issues you need to work out to deal with the fact that "YOUR" wife looks "HOT" OK maybe that's a little much but you get the point.   So first I am forgiving myself for failing myself and not using what I have learned for the past year and a half and than I am going to forgive the "jerk" I am married to for hurting my feelings. I may not tell him for a few days because I think he needs to realize just what a "HUGH" mistake he made. Because you see I have another character flaw, I may forgive but I never forget...........................
♥LovetheNewMe♥

♥LovetheNewMe♥

6
chunkyhunky's Blog
 

No Fill

Today is May 20th. Went in for my first fill and my doctor is so happy with my weight loss he decided not to give me a fill. I agree all seams to be going well. I'm down 50lbs since my lap band was placed. Working out and eating right seams to come easy with the help of the band. He seams to think I may be in my green zone now. Hope so. Don't want a fill. Of things can change. Just have to take one day at a time. This is without a doubt the best thing that I've done for my future and my kinds future with their dad. Hope eveyone is making good progress out there. Good luck.
chunkyhunky

chunkyhunky

2
desertmom's Blog
 

Exercise

so for the past week I have been exercising seriously.With that goes the weight that gets stuck even though you expect to lose load just by sweating..lol   I am learning to make peace with the slow weight loss.I srill second guess myself all the time about food but I guess I am doing fine when all is said and done.   Now I just have to keep it up,eating good proteins and fresh veggies.   xxo
desertmom

desertmom

0
300 Pounds down
 

They Lost A Combined Total Of 245 Lbs!

I found a blog the other day written by someone who has lost a significant amount of weight. She and her husband together lost a combined 245 lbs.   This video is SO inspiring!! make sure to watch it to the end b/c just when you think it's over...it's NOT!   Click here
300PoundsDown

300PoundsDown

0
CherylA's Blog
 

Canoeing

My husband and I took our oldest daughter canoeing yesterday for her 9th birthday. It is the first time I have ever been and also a first for our daughter! It was between 4 and 5 miles long! I was worried about fitting in the canoe. I will be glad when I have my surgery and lose some weight so that I don't have to worry about fitting in things.   Over all I am very proud of myself for this trip. The water was down and we did lots of pulling and pushing of the canoe. We saw so many pretty things. Do any of you ever worry that your weight holds you back from doing things like this with your kids? I am determined not to let mine keep me from doing fun things with my kids.
CherylA

CherylA

0
A funny thing happend while I was loosing weight
 

My Body Is A Wonderland

It amazes me how much my body has changed in only five weeks. Rolls are smaller, my side boobs are almost gone, and my stomach is semi flat (though still big). My legs are changing and shaping and my boobs are shrinking to the smallest they have been since college....when I used to think they were very large. If I have changed this much is such a short time, I can't even imagine what I will look like in a year. The idea of being around 150 pounds is still unreal to me. I know it's my goal and I am doing everything I need to in order to make my goal, but it still seems crazy to me to think I could ever bee that thin. I wasn't even that thin in high school.   Yesterday I took the plunge and tried on my bathing suit. I knew when I bought it two years ago that it was too small for me, but I didn't care. I shoved every inch of fat into it and enjoyed myself on the beach or in the pool. That won't be the case this year. First, it went right on with no wiggle-wiggle. You girls know what I mean. The moving your body and the garment in an attempt to get it up and over your ___________(fill in the blank). Nope, this time it slid right up. It fit perfectly and I looked good in it. Not model good, but good. I will no longer have to pretend that I feel comfortable at the beach, because now I will be. I was so excited that I came running out of the bedroom to tell my husband only to find him passed out on the couch taking a nap. So, I decided to jump into the car and drive the mile to my parent's home and show my new body to my mother. I was smart enough to throw some clothes on before running out the door. I think it would be a little strange to see a woman driving in her bathing suit this early in the summer. I do live near a beach, so it's not as uncommon as you may think. I literately walked into the house, said hello and stripped down to my bathing suit. Lucky for me my mother is very understanding and didn't demand me to stop stripping in her kitchen. Instead, she looked me up and down and told me how wonderful I look. Yea, I look wonderful in a bathing suit. LOL   Then to make my weekend even better, I tried on a pair of Old Navy sweats I bought prior to my surgery. They couldn't get over my but when I bought them but now, they fit just perfectly. I am really liking this weight loss thing that comes from getting a sleeve. I wish someone would have told me this would have been a side affect. I would have done it a long time ago. LOL Just kidding. The only side affect I didn't really know about was how good I would really feel and not just because the clothes fit. It's more just feeling better all around. Knowing I did something for me that is making me healthier every day. Now, if weight loss is a part of that, I'll take it. I will also take feeling good in a bathing suit (both kinds) because, that's something I haven't felt .... well, ever.
tmorgan813

tmorgan813

6
tjloser's Blog
 

Moving Ahead

I had my psych visit on May 14, 2012 and it went well. The Dr. said every thing looks good and that he would send it right to my surgeon, so I'm on my way. Not much longer now, I hope.
tjloser

tjloser

3
A New Beginning
 

Getting Started...

Hello....   Well, here we are. I know how I got here, there's no question as to that. And I know how hard I've tried to not be here. I've been overweight all my life. I have pictures going back to pre-school that show I'm overweight compared to classmates. Even my cutest pictures give it away. Putting my hands together, you can see the dimples in my hands where my knuckles should be. I'm not saying I wasn't a cute little girl, I was, but it only grew into a bigger problem as I got older (we all know, all pun was intended).   I've read other posts, and so many others have gone through similar situations...grandmother who would say "you would be SO pretty if you would only lose weight", the subtle hints of cut out weight loss articles left in strategic places where they know you would find them, name calling in school by class mates, being conveniently forgotten when invites are "spur of the moment" for lunch in the office. All add up to internal turmoil and incessent self-punishment and then finding condolence with chololate or other sugar-laced/carbo-loaded delacacies. Then the evil cycle begins. Each Sunday conjuring up self-esteem and faith in myself to find the strength to get a new habit to form to eat right and exercise, to only have some family drama, or office stress point derail the progress.   In 2007 I started the 3-hour diet by Gorge Cruise. Success! -80 lbs. I was SO proud, slipped into size 12 jeans and was pumped! Then I met my husband and everything that was accomplished was undone with all the fun and spoiling that came along with falling in love. I know he only wants what's best for me, and he's constantly reinforcing me that he doesn't care about my weight, he fell in love with me, not my body. I've tried to explain to him that falling in love with me, means he has to fall in love with a me that is in love with myself, and if I can't stand myself, I can't buy in to the fact that there is someone out there that can love me more than I do.   My most recent physical was a week ago last Friday. All tests were normal. N-O-R-M-A-L. I don't have high blood pressure....my thyroid is fine....I don't have high sugar or diabetes....my cholesterol is fine....I don't have hypertension, aches of any kind, or pains that cause issues. So if I'm so "nomal"....why am I overweight!!?? The doctor has suggested with everything as good as it is now, and the fact that I've been overweight since pre-school, maybe the sleeve procedure is a good bet to help get things where they need to be. I have signed up for the 5/24 information session, and my husband is 100% behind me and wants to attend as well. (Even my mother-in-law wants to go....and she's 88 with her own health issues!) I'm more comfortable telling my inlaws, than I am telling my own family! I told my sister, and she's perfectly cool with it if it's what I think is best for me.   I have a friend in the office who had the lap-band procedure and I watched her lose weight rapidly. She went from a size 22 (230 lbs) to a size 4 (140 lbs) in about 8 months. That was 2 or 3 years ago. She is slowly slipping back up the scale because she gets so busy at work with all the travel required, she doesn't return to her doctor to get a "fill" to keep things in check. I understand this completely, but if that's the result of the lapband, and that you can cheat it that easily, I don't want it. I want something that will help me learn (force me to learn) what portion control HAS to be. Not what is should be, but what it HAS to be because my stomach isn't able to handle what "should" be. (ie. eliminate the possiblity of my subconscious sabotaging me)   Growing up, my parents divorced when I was 10. Six months later, my dad remarried. My stepmom isn't the most understanding when it comes to being overweight. She's been thin most of her life, so doesn't "get" what it means to have a weight issue. Then when I was 16 my mom died in a car accident, followed by my best friend since before pre-school 9 years later. Needless to say, a bit of stress. Moved to college, and was given the news from my dad that no matter what "she is my wife, right or wrong, and I will always back her"....that helped the self-esteem. I have only been his daughter longer than she's been his wife, but "whatever". So in a way, I've been on my own since college, with my sister as my primary cheerleader. I'm not saying I have a bad family, they're as loving as they know to be and they do what they think is right and I love each and everyone of them.   I'm in a place right now, that after talking with my doctor, I belive this procedure is the best avenue for me to re-invent myself. Like I said, my husband is 100% onboard and ok with my choice. I've already called my insurance company, and as long as it's "in network" (which it is), the procedure is covered 100%. My only requirement is to call the patient care line (or the doctor will) 5 days prior to the procedure.   So....next step....May 24, attend information session with the doctor who performs the procedure, and take all the questions I've been able to get from those who have experienced it to ask while I'm there. Any suggestions as to what a "newbie" should ask when they go to the information session?   Thanks, everyone. I look forward to hearing your suggestions.   Tif

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