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CrazyCatLady's Blog

A blog by CrazyCatLady in General

  • Entries

    16

  • Comments

    69

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    7,362

About this blog

A place I can think

Entries in this blog

Still Struggling

I was hoping to be singing a different tune by almost 4 months out. Monday will mark week 16 since surgery. And today, I was back in Urgent Care....again.   I still haven't been able to intake over 600cals most days, with my max protein at about 45-50gms. I have not yet found a protein shake that doesn't give me horrific and immediate diarrhea. I still have trouble staying hydrated.   I work a job that frequently requires 13 hours+ shifts, and I am getting dizzy, lightheaded, and excepti

Education

So, I finally was given the go-ahead for a regular exercise program, as it "appears" I am no longer at HIGH risk for throwing this blood clot I'm carrying around (I've named him Damien). Woo. So I did the responsible thing, and hired a personal trainer through my gym.   On paper, he looks great - lots of national credentials, hundreds of hours of continuing education....until our first meeting. Wow, I never have not-clicked with another professional so badly.   He seems to have no concept

A Smart Girl

I finally got around to watching Star Jones' interview about her weight loss via gastric bypass and subsequent media feeding frenzy. And something she said really hit me:   "I needed to forgive myself for being such a smart girl, and so stupid when it came to something like my health." BINGO.   I am not an unintelligent person. I have academic degrees and awards, I have taught skills to others and been recognized for my aptitude. But for some reason, managing my weight always eluded m

Still Here

Been gone for a bit. Had to take a break from online and try to live a little.   I'm still on the Coumadin for my portal vein clot, but it's become very difficult to stay thinned-out enough since I started eating more solid foods. Went in for my checkup today and had an INR of 1.1...which is BAD, as my target is 2.5 - 3.5. Also, have been feeling "off" the last few days, keep losing my voice...I have atypical bacterial pneumonia. I was sent home with a doubled dose of Coumadin, and some an

Toofiddy

So, it appears that my body was just waiting for some unknown signal from my ovaries that yes, my period was DONE and I was allowed to commence losing weight again. Phew.   Though, it was really bizarre to step on the scale and see a "5" in the second digit. The 250s are a historically hot-button weight for me. I always seem to hinge stuff on the 250 mark...   "I'll buy a swimsuit when I hit 250" "I'll go to the gym when I hit 250 - when I'm heavier, my knees hurt too bad and I can't exe

Oh Yes, It's A Dirty Word....

I admit, I was feeling pretty good about my self and my weight loss...until I logged on to Facebook (grrrrr....I should know better!) and saw that an old coworker of mine, who is the same height I am, and started at the same weight (plus 7lbs)...had gastric sleeve surgery 4 weeks ago. And has lost **52lbs SINCE SURGERY!!!**   I almost choked on my glass of ice water. WTF!?! I had my surgery 7 weeks ago (as of tomorrow), and I've lost....38lbs since surgery. Almost twice her time, and less

I Hate Food.

Yes, I said it...I hate food. All of it.   It's 2:30p, and I haven't had anything to eat today - because the thought of putting anything in my mouth is totally repugnant. I have no interest. I tried eating a piece of chicken this morning: chewed it up and then spit it out, because I knew if I tried to swallow it, I'd gag on it.   I can't believe the change from 2 months ago, where I ate all day long. It is mindblowing.   I suppose it doesn't help that my weight loss is somewhere betwee

Tired Of The Games

I realize that I am very, very depressed. I have become so deconditioned and in enough pain, that I rarely leave my house any more. A lot of that has to do with no longer being able to eat anywhere but at home.   So I started the new job this week, and Wednesday night I was supposed to orient on graveyard shift. I packed myself a couple of pieces of rolled deli turkey for food (my usual standby) and went to work.   I don't know if it was the swapping onto night shift or what, but I spent

Doing Better

I'm working graveyard shift today, but my body doesn't want to cooperate with sleep...so here I am, awake when I should be asleep. But it's ok.   Since my breakdown on Monday, I've been making a concerted effort to really question my motivations for anything that comes in or out of my mouth. I hadn't realized it, but I have been buying into the pity that has been coming from aquaintances:   "If I could only eat a few bites, I would DIE!"   "Aren't you going to end up like Carnie Wilson?

Break Down

I finally hit my breaking point.   Today was first day of orientation at new job. I'm already not happy about this - it is a pay cut ($2 an hour, but still) AND a cut in hours (32 a week...need I say more?)   Being it was corporate orientation, they ordered Pizza Hut pizza for all of us - all of THEM, I should say. So I sat and watched them eat pizza, breadsticks, soda...cinnasticks....while I ate my 2 low-fat, gluten/dairy free turkey meatballs.   At the end of the day, I had just been

...gaining Weight?!?

I was all prepared for a stall...but not for this.   For the last 4 days, I have consistently gained 3/4 to half a pound....EVERY STINKING DAY.   I'm not close to my period, so that's not it.   I don't have any new or unusual edema, so that's not it.   My bowels move twice every day (damn those loose stools), so that's not it.   This is driving me insane!   I am still having difficulty getting in fluids. I barely hit 40oz yesterday, and I really really had to screw with my day to ge

Things I Miss

Something that's been nagging at me since surgery....   I miss being able to chug water. Badly.   I'm almost 5 weeks out from surgery, and still can barely hit 40oz of fluid intake a day. That being said - that amount is double my intake from the week before, when I discovered how wonderful straws truly are. I thought all liquids gave me the burps; instead, I can drink pretty much everything now burp-free, provided it's through a straw.   I had pre-employment paperwork today for a new j

Why Does My Body Hate Me?

I've always guessed that I have some food sensitivities - but, being the snack-fiend that I was, I largely ignored them and ate whatever the heck I wanted anyways. In the years before surgery, I struggled with frequent, painful edema in my hands and feet (sometimes to the point that I could barely open doorknobs, containers, etc), itchy skin after eating, weight gain, general fluid retention.... A couple of timeperiods, I became frustrated and cut out entire food groups in an attempt to find s

Experimenting...at A Month Out.

Wednesday will be the one month anniversary of being sleeved....what a wild, crazy trip it's been! As of yesterday, I am 30lbs down from the weight I was on sleeve day, which is pretty damn good given the circumstances.   I still have abdominal edema from my portal vein clot, which is making clothing an interesting proposition. I can now barely button pants I wore pre-op, but the thighs and butt are loose...it's just that pesky abdomen full of fluid! I appear to have also lost some breast t

Starting Over

I just got home from a week long stay in the hospital with complications partially relating to my gastric sleeve surgery. Emotionally and physically, this has been a trying week.   I went around and around in my head many times...would I have still developed this clot at another time at another surgery, or just this one? Am I very fortunate, or am I being taught a lesson? I came home from the hospital with more questions than answers. I have this clot inside me, mentally it feels like a ti

Regretting

I wish I would have thought to write on here before. It would have been nice to look back at pre-op. But what is done, is done.   I was sleeved on Monday, April 16 2012 by Dr Alberto Aceves in Mexicali MX. Surgery was uneventful. The first couple of days post op were normal - some gas, a blown peripheral IV...normal things.   I was released to home on Thursday, April 19th....I drove myself the 4+ hours back home.   Since I have been home...each day, I have felt progressively worse - ph

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