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2/1/06

B 1 EGG 70 L1/2 CHILLI 110+ 1/2 BAKED POT135 5 PC NUGGETS 220+ CRACKERS = 595 D1/2 CHILLI+1/2 BAKED POT+ 245= 840   NSV REGINE CAME IN...HASN'T SEEN ME SINCE B4 MY SURGERY...SHE LOOKED @ ME & SAID "DID YOU LOOSE WEIGHT?" I SMILED & SAID "YES"

luvlif

luvlif

 

2/1/06

What causes "blue" days? I can be going along, doing pretty good...then the next day, WHAM! All I think about is mom, I replay the scenes from her last days, I remember other times that were great, and times that I know I hurt her feelings. This type of thinking is with me all day, if I'm lucky, and several days or a week if I'm not. It affects everything...my work, my family, my attitude. The strange thing is, I KNOW I'm doing it, I know it isn't helping, and I cannot nudge myself out of it. Tears are just waiting to be released, but not every time is a good time for a cry. I mean, I can't just start crying in the classroom...I don't want to upset my DD by crying too much. I can cry on the way to work, but it does take a toll on my make-up and I arrive at school all red-eyed, and at this school, the automatic thought is that I'm smoking pot...that comes from the kids, not the teachers! Just don't want you to get the wrong idea... Maybe these waves of sadness are the reverse of birth contractions. There's really no way to avoid them, and at the end, a new life arrives. Like contractions, fighting them only adds to the pain, and you know they won't last forever. But it feels like that, that these pains will never go away, and when you're in them, it is your total focus. Mom had these pains when I was born, now I have them when she died. I guess that's about as balanced as you can get. I'm grateful for being able to wear some pants that didn't fit last week. I'm grateful for the love and comfort of family. I'm grateful for the blessing of a good mom, thank you God.

mousecrazy

mousecrazy

 

Feb 1, 06

1-31-06 (277)   Feeling better today. Yesterday I actually put on make up before going to see Dr. Cahn. He reminded me not to be thinking about weight loss yet, the first six weeks is for healing. He is also going to call St. Al's and see if he can get more done for us because of this burn. I wore my jeans today for the first time since Dec 20th. Size 24s. Very baggy. I have to roll the waist band down a bit. But the 22s are still too small.   Went to Walgreens alone last night. Enjoyed shopping for some new makeup. Also went to find a good kitchen calendar at Avonlee's but they didnt have any. :nanahump: Went to Wally World - mistake.. over did it some. Was so tired when I got home. But still.. feeling better.   Today I see the wound care specialist. Cant wait to get this thing healed. Its really keeping me from so many things I want to do.   Got our gym membership set up yesterday. We start on Monday. Really looking forward to that!

PhotoNut

PhotoNut

 

Turtle Tribe call to action.

TURTLE POWER!!!! We are slow losers. But we need to demand answers.   I've been thinking about this for the last forever. Or at least it feels like forever. Why are we so different, why doesn't the weight fall off of us like it does our rabbit sisters and brothers?   So, I decided that instead of ranting and raving about not losing weight, crying to the folks that can't help with the underlying problem, I decided that I would start crying to medical doctors, not to therapists.   I went to my PCP and demanded answers. He couldn't help me, other than putting me on thyroid meds, which as it turns out I needed. But he couldn't help beyond that, and I haven't seen much activity scale wise from the increased thyroid function. He said I should find an endocrinologist, and good luck. Not much help there, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he was baffled, well, basically because he told me "I'm baffled."   So I went to another doctor demanded answers. He couldn't do anything, but he did refer me to an internist. She's wonderful; she doesn’t downplay my problems, or my concerns. She doesn't blame me for being fat, she doesn't view all my problems through that if-you-lose-weight-your-problems-will-go-away lense.   And who here hasn't had all their medical problems blamed on their weight? I think that might be why we, as turtles, haven't demanded answers, demanded that they figure out why we can't lose Wight on 1200 calories, or 1000 calories or even less. We think that if we just follow the Bandster rules and guidelines like good banisters, that if we do, the weight will fall off of us. I mean, this works for everyone else, why doesn't it work for us?   Because I think there has to be something else going on with us. Medically speaking, there has to be something that is keeping us from losing weight. If all the literature says that women will lose 1 to 2 pounds a week eating 1200 calories a day, if all the banding literature says that we should expect to lose 1-2 pounds a week, if we follow the rules.   Well, we are following the rules. We are eating within the stated guidelines, or if we are too tight we eat less, we exercise, we drink water, we attend support groups (LBT if nothing else); we do all these things and in most cases see a 1 to 2 pound loss a month.   So, how long do we beat ourselves up? Why shouldn't we get discouraged and stop trying because, just like every other wild hair-brained scheme to lose weight, this one doesn't work either.   Someone said that their doc said that if the thyroid med didn't work that we couldn't blame the medication, which I took to be one more example of blaming the fat person. The implied message that I took away was if it doesn't work, it's your fault, again. Well I say rubbish. It may be that the thyroid medication isn't the answer, but there has to be an answer somewhere.   So, if you are a true turtle, or even a winded wabbit, call your doctor and demand answers. Don't take no for an answer, don't take, "if you just lost weight" for an answer. If your surgeon's office can't help, talk to your PCP. If she can't help, demand a referral. Cry, weep, and threaten a break down if you must, but demand those answers. Don't let them shuffle you off to see a therapist as the only course of treatment either.   I think we owe that much to ourselves. We owe that to ourselves, our families and loved ones. We even owe it to the other turtles who come after us. But mostly, we owe this to ourselves.

vinesqueen

vinesqueen

 

13 Days Post Op

I have graduated from liquids to mushy solids now and I am soo excited !! I can finially taste real food again. It has been almost two weeks now and I think I am ready for a fill. I am hungry and I can eat more then I feel like I should be able to now. The port is still sore but other then that I am pain free. I have lost 15 pounds since I was banded and I am soo excited to see what the future holds for me. I have more energy now then I have had in a long time and this is great. I cleaned my house and did laundry for the first time in a long time and it feels great to live again .. Dr. Jay is truly and Angel sent from Heaven and for him I will forever be grateful..   Good Day to all ...

julieplunk

julieplunk

 

Day 4...sad

Today sucked...work was demanding. Decided to punish myself by eating. Seems like I think eating is a way to unwind or that I deserve it. In the end i'm just doing myself damage.   Today I had: 2 protien shakes soup half a tuna sandwinch and a few chips 3 cheese sticks soup 2 taquitos   After eating all of this I do not feel better, or less stressed, or good about myself. I feel miserable. Like I ruined it once again. Am incapable of losing weight and that my band will not work for me. Remember this tomorrow. When I do good by eating right and excersizing during the day I end up feeling good about myself. When I indulge and eat I do not feel good about myself. It's my choice. Temp. fix or long term feel good. Ultimately I will choose.   All of this bad eating is happening after work for the most part. MUST REMEDY THAT.   Note to self. Tomorrow is a new day. A clean slate and a new beginning. Learn from the past, try not to repeat their mistakes.

Firecallie

Firecallie

 

The Fight with my Husband

:funscale: "Baby, you know I really want to have this surgery."   :fish2: "Yeah, but $15,000? I could get a boat with that much money."   " :angry "   *******Three months later****************************   :cheer2: "Baby, you know I really want to have this surgery."   :fish2: "Yeah, but $15,000? I could get--"   :doh: "I know, a boat. But baby, I could get 20 extra years of life with that $15,000.... :hurt "   *******************OK, a few months later*************   :couch2: "Hey hon, I arranged reservations for a seminar for us to learn about the Lap-Band procedure."   :fish2: "Really? When is it?"   :couch2: "Saturday."   :fish2: "Oh, I was going to go fishing."     " " :juggle:   :fish2: "I will go to the seminar, but I really worry about a surgery to make you lose weight."   :tired "Will you be going with me, or do I need to ask my mom to go?"   :ban: "Baby, I love you, and if this will make you happy, then of course I will go."   **************After the seminar, before the fishing trip*********   :yield: "WOW, that is really not what I expected. This procedure could really improve your life."   :sleep "It would improve OUR LIVES!"   :sleep "That's no lie! If the momma ain't happy, ain't noone happy."   " :clap2: "   **************After Christmas, before income tax refund********   :Yawn: "I think I am going to make an appointment for a surgical consult. By my calculation, we should get about $10,000 back on income tax. We could swing this this year."   :hat: "Well, let's look at it."     " " :whoo:   ************************Today, January 31, 2006***********   :dance: "Hey, are you still going to the appointment with the doctor? It is friday at 12:30."   :cool: "Yes, I am off work that day."   hmm, he really is doing this. my hubby is the best...THE BEST I SAY!!   hmm, wonder if i can break him off a little love tonite...     :nanahump::Banane56: :nanahump: :Banane56: :nanahump: :Banane56: :nanahump: :Banane56: :nanahump: :Banane56: :nanahump:

mini_me

mini_me

 

January 31

Well, it looks like the surgery is happening for sure on February 20th. I had an appt this morning and they finalized everything. I have my pre-op on Feb 10th and then start my liquid phase that day. My nerves are everywhere and I've started a long to-do list of what needs to get done before the surgery. This is always the way I cope with things so I even laugh at myself as I write down this list.   I'm happy, excited, scared, and nervous all at the same time.

Julie*

Julie*

 

Day 2...things are not always what they seem

A very philosophical title for a very nonphilosophical post. Sometimes it seems as if I finally have a good fill. But then this evening I ate a whole chicken pot pie. If I had a good fill I shouldn't be able to do that...RIGHT?!? And then suddenly about an hour later my stomach feels tighter again. It's so frustrating. Then you have the question of how much do I eat. My Dr. says to do a 7 day liquid diet. Which sucks but okay say I do it. HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET ENOUGH CALORIES ON LIQUIDS?!? So then comes the question of will I lose weight if I don't get enough calories in? Yada yada yada. I really think I need to stop worrying about it and let happen what will happen. That's what I shall endevor to do tomorrow...   Today I ate: 1 protein shake for breakfast 1 cup of soup for lunch (split up by a few hours) 1 chicken pot pie (chewed up and spit out chicken and veggies but ended up eating the crust) <----not a good food choice and I shouldn't have had the crust.   On the upside I did work out on the eliptical for 15 minutes and then went swimming. I fear i'll be a paranoid old lady in a few years. I am so worried if the pool is clean...almost like dirty water is beginning to be a phobia. I hope not. One day when I have kids (which would mean I would have to be in a relationship...which right now seems like such a long ways off.) I would like to be the kind that takes them swimming and has fun with them.   Thought of the day: When I am in a good mood, the children in my class behave better and I have a better day. It's amazing how much your mood controls your life.   P.S. I woke up feeling fine and haven't been sick all day. Odd huh?

Firecallie

Firecallie

 

PAT's today

I went to Dr DeMuro today for B/W and EKG. Also went to PBI for chext Xray. Hopefully Dr will send Medical clearance letter to Dr Schmidt tomorrow. Surgery date is still on for Valentines day. Almost lost it due to carelessness and not reading the due date on my form. Whew..close call.

Nickysmom

Nickysmom

 

1/31/06 245 wtf?YO! AUNT FLO!

8 DAY DIET GOAL 237 BY 2/7/06 walked last nite 20 mins BFAST: 1 EGG 70 LUNCH: 1/2 SM CHILLI 120+1/2 BAKED POT 135=325 FULL DINNER:1/1 SM CHILLI120+1/2BAKED POT=570+1 HOT DOG 50=620 WATER:70 OZ WEIGHT:245 WALK:20+20 MINS

luvlif

luvlif

 

1/30/06 245???

WALKED 20 MINS LAST NITE 9 DAY DIET BEGINS TO-DAY BFAST:1 EGG = 70 TODAY RUBU TOLD ME I LOST WT & SO DID MATT LUNCH SM CHILLI =220 +70=290... 3 BOTTLES (24 OZ) DINNER: 4 EGG WHITE W SALSA & 1 ITALIAN SAUSAGE =60+75=125 415 + 4CRACKERS=50=465

luvlif

luvlif

 

1/29/06

What's the hot topic for today? I've been thinking about "community." We all have our little groups (communities)...family, work, church, activities, our children's activities....maybe even people who have chosen the same surgery, like here at LBT! These communities give us connectedness to the outside; they provide a meaningful way for us to relate to each other. Sadly, not everyone feels that they belong to a community, so they make some up: gangs, drug and alcohol abusers, unhealthy relationships, etc. Ironically, these communities seek further isolation from society, so that the problem that led people to them is exacerbated further by their participation. Ask yourself if you know anyone who is part of a community that leads to further isolation....I know I have sought company by banding with others who have the same isolating problem I have had. Maybe you're doing the same thing? Take a close look at your communities. Make sure you are part of groups that are caring, positive and supportive of each other. If you are "stuck" in a group that is not like this, (family) do what you can to change your reactions to it. Notice I have not said that these communities have to think, talk, or believe exactly the same as each other...there must be room for respectful disagreement. Respectful. Disagreement. Those two words do not go together often today, do they? They should. So, let's start in our little communities...allow a disagreement of opinion. Seek to give help more than you ask to receive it. Instead of going within, reach out. Somewhere earlier I said I think I do better when I'm helping others...since this topic came to me today, I would imagine I've done enough introspection for now, and it's time to take the show on the road! I am grateful for my communities...my family, my work, my church, my friends, and LBT. I am grateful for my electric foot warmer...so cozy! I am grateful for the love and friendship I share with my husband. To be continued....

mousecrazy

mousecrazy

 

Where do I start?

Ok...I have no idea how to start this journal since I have never had a journal before! hmm! So! I am kind of at a loss for words and that never really happens to me. One thing I know for sure is that I am happy. I feel great, I have more energy and I catch myself looking the mirror more! Checking out the spots that are smaller! :clap2: Pretty much for now, I'm good...everything is coming along fine and the weight is coming off slowly and I am getting alot of compliments and WOW's! Which in turn I think might give me a bit of an ego boost but so what. I deserve it, right!? All in all so far a great start to a new year. More to come....

Kathy473

Kathy473

 

Jan 29

Well, its Sunday night...back to the grind tomorrow..Anthony has been with his daddy all weekend long. It has been very quiet and different here without him. His father is going to just bring him to school in the morning and then I will see him after work. Gonna be weird waking up with out him here. I miss him sooo much when hes gone~ This week is going to go quick too. We have an appointment with his ear doctor in West Chester on Friday..so I will be taking the day off from work. I get my first paycheck too on Friday~ I gotta stop into work after the doctor appointment and get my check. Gotta set up a new checking account too~~~ eeewe exciting. My very own checking account. Never did that before~~~ wahooo..... I bought more protein shakes...Gotta do them for breakfast and lunch. I ate regular food on Friday at work and spent some time in the ladies room yackin it up....Was stuck. I just tried to eat too quick I think. Not much you can accomplish in 1/2 hour. I was trying to beat time and with the band ya just can't do that~ So shakes for me for lunch from now on~ hopefully this helps to make a move in the scales too. We will see. I am going to try and remember to weigh in in the morning. The weigh in at Dr Kwons was 216. This was at the end of the work day, I had eatten lunch and drank, so I dunno how off it is...we shall see in the morning. I know I gotta start laying off the freekin coffee...holy moly. I had such a caffine high today~ And its just before bed time....YIKES~~~~ I saw a flyer today with sale going on. They are selling Gazelles for 100.00~! I am going and getting one. Maybe Friday after I get my paycheck~~ Ewe exciting. Then I can just exercise in the house. That would be an awesome step in the right direction. What store was that sale for?? Hummm gotta check the paper again~

porclndoll

porclndoll

 

Joined the gym!!

January 29, 2006 - So today I joined Healthworks gym in Copley Square. I signed up, and then I worked out. I did 35 minutes on the Elliptical machine, then 20 or so minutes lifting. I'm going to plan to take as many classes as I can, b/c I know classes keep me more motivated, and make me work out longer and harder. I'm feeling very motivated to work out as much as possible, which helps me to eat better too, as I feel like the work-outs are a waste if I just come home and eat crap. It's also good to keep me busy, instead of sittin on my ass all the time...as much as I like doing exactly that.

Bostongurl

Bostongurl

 

Brief summery of my experience thus far

November 15, 2005 – I make some phone calls and do a lot of research about WLS, particularly the Lap-Band procedure. My research shows that Boston Medical does not do the Lap-Band, so I look into BWH November 17, 2005 – Had my appointment with my PCP to get referral to BWH November 22, 2005 – Attend aFree Info Session @BWH, Dr. Luatz is there, who I like very much. November 23, 2005 – Call and schedule an appointment with Dr. Luatz @ BWH. Appointment set for Jan. 26th December 9, 2005 –My sister tells me that she spoke with the doctor from her hospital and that he does not recommend Dr. Lautz, so I call and cancel my appointment with him and call to make one with Dr. Ashley Vernon, which is set for Feb. 10. Long story short, I have to call my PCP again to change my referral, and when I do, they say that I need a special referral to see a doctor outside of Boston Medical, as there are doctors there who perform the Lap-Band…now that would have been helpful to know BEFORE… Anyway so things change, I called to set-up an appointment with Dr. Hess from Boston Medical, and canceled my appointment with Dr. Vernon. January 12, 2006 - Met with Dr. Hess for the First time. Went over the different WLS options and he confirmed what I was thinking which is that Lap-Band is the surgery for me. Dr. Hess gave me a packet of info and said that his assistant would contact me to set up my necessary appointments. January 17, 2006 – Got call from Dr. Hess’ office to set-up my next four appointments! I was so happy to hear from her, I was afraid I would be waiting for her call for a while. Also, All my appointments are pretty soon, so that’s great news. 1. PFT (Pulminary Function Tests): is scheduled for Friday, January 27th at 8:00AM 2. Appointment with dietician (Dr. Isfan): is scheduled for Wednesday, February 15th, at 4:00PM 3. Ultrasound: Scheduled for February 21st at 8:00AM 4. Appointment with the Nutritionist (Wendy Anderson): Scheduled for February 21st at 9:00AM 5. MMPI test ($160): Cant be scheduled until the other four are complete January 19, 2006 – Attended my first support group meeting at Boston Medical Center, run by Wendy Anderson. It was good, although the majority of people were waiting for surgery, and there was only one other Lap-Band person. Everyone else was doing the bypass surgery. Everyone was talking about the weight they were told they had to loose, and I asked when they were told this, and they said during their first meeting with Dr. Hess, but he said nothing to me about loosing any weight. Wendy did say that sometimes they don’t ask people to loose any weight, but that I have to be careful not to gain any before the surgery. November 15, 2005 - I made some calls and do a lot of research about WLS, particularly the Lap-Band procedure. My research shows that Boston MEdical does not do the lap-band, so i look into BWH. November 17, 2005 – Had my appointment with my PCP to get referral to BWH November 22, 2005 – Attend aFree Info Session @BWH, Dr. Luatz is there, who I like very much. November 23, 2005 – Call and schedule an appointment with Dr. Luatz @ BWH. Appointment set for Jan. 26th November 24, 2005 - Went home for Thanksgiving and told my parents about the surgery and what I was thinking. THey were both very supportive and backed me up 100% to go through with it. December 9, 2005 –My sister tells me that she spoke with the doctor from her hospital and that he does not recommend Dr. Lautz, so I call and cancel my appointment with him and call to make one with Dr. Ashley Vernon, which is set for Feb. 10. Long story short, I have to call my PCP again to change my referral, and when I do, they say that I need a special referral to see a doctor outside of Boston Medical, as there are doctors there who perform the Lap-Band…now that would have been helpful to know BEFORE… Anyway so things change, I called to set-up an appointment with Dr. Hess from Boston Medical, and canceled my appointment with Dr. Vernon. January 12, 2006 - Met with Dr. Hess for the First time. Went over the different WLS options and he confirmed what I was thinking which is that Lap-Band is the surgery for me. Dr. Hess gave me a packet of info and said that his assistant would contact me to set up my necessary appointments. January 17, 2006 – Got call from Dr. Hess’ office to set-up my next four appointments! I was so happy to hear from her, I was afraid I would be waiting for her call for a while. Also, All my appointments are pretty soon, so that’s great news. 1. PFT (Pulminary Function Tests): is scheduled for Friday, January 27th at 8:00AM 2. Appointment with dietician (Dr. Isfan): is scheduled for Wednesday, February 15th, at 4:00PM 3. Ultrasound: Scheduled for February 21st at 8:00AM 4. Appointment with the Nutritionist (Wendy Anderson): Scheduled for February 21st at 9:00AM 5. MMPI test ($160): Cant be scheduled until the other four are complete January 19, 2006 – Attended my first support group meeting at Boston Medical Center, run by Wendy Anderson. It was good, although the majority of people were waiting for surgery, and there was only one other Lap-Band person. Everyone else was doing the bypass surgery. Everyone was talking about the weight they were told they had to loose, and I asked when they were told this, and they said during their first meeting with Dr. Hess, but he said nothing to me about loosing any weight. Wendy did say that sometimes they don’t ask people to loose any weight, but that I have to be careful not to gain any before the surgery. January 27, 2006 - Had my PFT's which consisted of blood being takin from my wrist...which KILLED. He warned me that it was apianful, but damn. Plus he had to stick me twice. The second test was the breathing test, which was very interesting. He said my numbers were really good, and that he wasn't used to seeing such good numbers. So that's good news. Now I have to wait three weeks for my next appointment, which seems like forever, but I know it will be here sooner than I realize.

Bostongurl

Bostongurl

 

Day 1

I have begun to love the idea of journaling. This isn't the first time i've started one so I have my doubts as to if I will keep it up. Been watching DVD's of "DOOGIE HOWSER" and I doubt that i'll have any thoughts as deep as his. Well today i'm feeling kinda bleh. I went and got a fill yesterday and went to a concert and wonder if I over did it. I left feeling bad and this evening I am running a fever. I hope everything is okay.   Now for what i've eaten today. 1.5 cups of potato cheese soup from Black Eyed Pea Water

Firecallie

Firecallie

 

Jan 29, 06

Weighed today. Only a two pound loss after a week. Complete depression hit me and I can't shake it. So worried about all the band erosions I'm reading about here. God I hope I've done the right thing and not wasted my money in search of a pipe dream that will prove to be wasted time, pain and money. *sighs*   Have cried a lot today. Maybe I need to get my Efexor upped.

PhotoNut

PhotoNut

 

242 SUN 1/29/06

BFAST:1 EGG & 1 LITE HOT DOG 70+50= 120 SNACK 100 CH& CRKRS LUNCH 3/4 CHILLI & 1/2 POT=165+135 300=520 1/2 BAG GRAHAM 50=570 DINNER:INDIAN FOOD 650 =1220 MARIA CAME TO SEE ME COULDN'T BELIEVE HOW I LOOKED.

luvlif

luvlif

 

242 SAT 1/28/06

:clap2: WALKED PAST MY HONEY & HE DIDN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE ME! HE WAS TALKING TO NANCY & ASKED HER WHO JUST WALKED BY. GRANTED I WASN'T WEARING A COAT (55DEGREES IN JAN!) BUT IT FELT GOOD. GOT MY HAIR COLORED LOOKS GOOD BFAST: 1 EGG, 2 C'TAIL SSAGES= 70+ 75 = 145 LUNCH: 3/4C CHILLI SNACK:1/2 BAG OF HONEY GRAHAMS B4 DINNER 1/4 LEFTOVER CHILLI 220 + 50 = 415 DINNER @ BEN'S 4 OF CORNED BEEF=270= 695 + CRACKERS & TEPENADE = 200= 895 COULDN'T EAT MORE THAN THAT...HARD 2 IMAGINE...I MUST HAVE ONLY EATEN 2OZ ( BARELY) @ BENS

luvlif

luvlif

PatchAid Vitamin Patches

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