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Lynn B's Lap-Band Journal
 

All the stuff up until now....

6/3/05 Hi all, I have been lurking here for a few days and thought it was time to fill some of this in. First some general info - I am a 31 year old mother of two children. Joshua 14 and Elizabeth 12. I have been married for 15 years and have struggled with my weight most of my life.   I was always a big girl (pretty plus clothes from Sears most of my childhood). I did thin out a bit in high school but was never average. I gained 60lbs with my first pregnancy and have never dipped below 200lbs since then.   I have done all the diets - Weight Watchers, Diet Workshop, Slimfast, Atkins, The Zone, Body for Life. I think in the past few years I have become complacent - I felt because I was married and a mom that as long as my weight didn't interfere with my daily life then I would just live with it. I guess that what I didn't see was - even though I have very few weight related medical problems, it was still getting in the way of living.   I had thought about gastric bypass in the past but the thought of having my insides arranged in a way other than what I was born with scared me. I wasn't aware until very recently that there was another option. I made my reservation to attend an informational meeting on the LapBand at Beth Israel Hospital in Boston on 6/8/05.   I'm very nervous - I probably do not meet the criteria for "medically supervised diets" so I doubt I will be able to have surgery as soon as I would like. It is kind of funny to think that I will have to spend another 6 months doing what I have done for most of my life before I can receive the tool that I believe will save my life; but I am committed and will do what it takes to get there.   I guess that is enough for tonight - I will add more as I begin this phase of my life. Good night!   6/25/05 2am - Yes I am a night owl. I didn't realize that it has been so long since I've updated. I went to the info meeting on 6/8/08 and fell in love with Dr. Jones and Angi. I felt so comfortable with both of them that I am really excited about starting this process. I left v/m on 6/16 because I had not heard back from them on what I should do next. I then sent email on 6/21 as I still had not heard back from anyone. On 6/22 I got a call from the office. Everything looks good I need to call on Friday and schedule my first Dr. meeting (2.5 hours long).   Wasn't I surprised on Friday when I called to schedule my first meeting... they can get me in on Monday 6/27/05. WOW. Now I am starting to get nervous. There is a $500.00 fee to join the program....they wouldn't tell me to start the process (blood tests, EKG, etc....)and pay the fee if they weren't pretty sure that I am going to be approved? Right?   In the mean time I have given up soda and the majority of my coffee (I still have one or two a week). I have also given up smoking for the most part - but that has been hard!! I have had a couple of slips but I keep trying.   I cant wait to see what Monday brings...I will keep you updated!   TTFN   6/27/05 I had my first meeting today with the nurse and MD. 6 tubes of blood, a review of my application and a physical with the programs MD. Everyone seems to think that this will go smoothly and quickly for me. Next on my list - July 11th meeting with the dietician. July 21 - gallbladder ultrasound and psych eval, I think I will stay in the city after my tests to attend my final support meeting (another requirement done). So if all goes well with the next two meeting I will be setting a surgery date and having my meeting with the surgeon. I was aiming for surgery in September but if all goes well and dates are available (with the surgeon and my work schedule) I could be looking at late August. Oh I forgot - all pending that pesky ins. approval. Wish me luck!     7/15/05   The nutritionist meeting went well, I did find out that I a B12 deficient and will be following up with my PCP but everything else seems fine. They gave us guidelines for eating after surgery and the preop diet. I have psych and gallbladder ultrasound on 7/21/05. I will keep everyone updated on how it goes....getting close.   8/6/05   Hi, It has been a while again. I should update more. Let me see - Psych and gallbladder ultrasound went fine and I now have a meeting with the surgeon scheduled for August 10th. I spoke with Debbie in the office and she said that by the time I get to pick a date they will be scheduling for mid to late September. Kind of what I expected but as I went through all of the testing I started to get my hopes up for something a little sooner. Oh well....Good things come to those who wait...Right? I will check back in after my surgeons meeting. TTFN.       8/13/05   Well, my surgeons meeting went well. I love my doctor!! I have a date - I will be banded on 9/12/05. Yaaaaay. I also found out that I have gallstones - grrrrrr. I will be having my gallbladder out on 8/18/05. I guess it can be a practice run for the band as I have never been under general anesthesia before. It is funny...I am more nervous about the gallbladder surgery than the band. I guess I am worried about having parts removed - it doesn't bother me to have them added. I keep thinking, "what if something goes wrong with the gallbladder that prevents me from having the band surgery...then everything that I have done up until now has been for naught. I guess that is just normal pre surgery jitters-I hope. Well wish me luck, I will update when I have more news. Lynn     8/21/05   Hi all, I'm back from having my pesky gallbladder removed. It wasn't as bad as I thought (don't get me wrong - I wouldn't sign up to do it again just for fun). So for those of you who may need to have this done I will chronicle my day.   Arrived at 10am on 8/18 for a 12:30 surgery - it turned out the my surgeons first case of the day was a bit more involved than anticipated so I didn't end up going to pre-op until about 6pm. I was a bit crabby but I understand that we can not control all aspects of life. So, I go into pre-op, chat with the anesthesiologists, get my IV and my hat, booties and rear air conditioned gown. Right before we go to the OR my anesthesiologist give me a "cocktail". We roll into the OR and switch tables and then everything goes real fast.   I had people bustling around but mostly I remember the two anesthesiologists, one on each side adjusting my IV - attaching electrodes, etc.. Then on with the mask - "take deep breaths". Well I think I fought them on this because after the first few breaths I couldn't exhale anymore and I panicked. The good news is I don't remember a thing after that until I heard someone say "OK she's responsive" (I'm glad they thought so because I don't remember responding to anything.)   I was wheeled down to recovery about 8pm. I wasn't in any pain but I was dry and fuzzy (good for club soda not for me). I would say that I felt myself or as close to it as I could around 11pm but the nurses had decided that it was to late to send me home so I would have to spend the night (my wonderful Mom who came with me spent the night in the family waiting room of the hospital on a couch and the liaison got her some pillow and blankets - she was more comfortable than me I think). I was in my room at 1am and got no sleep - partly because I couldn't sleep and had really wanted to go home and partly because there was always someone in and out of the room for either me, my room mate or the trash barrels. The nurses were wonderful and brought me Jell-O and tea at 1am - I was starving as I had been "nothing by mouth" since 7pm on 8/17 and here it was 1am on 8/19. I was discharged around 10am after a lovely breakfast of eggs (I think), tea, oatmeal (I didn't chance it), sausage and cranberry juice.   I have been home for two days now and all systems are operating within normal parameters (no colace for me - yay). As for meds I had one percoset at 9:30pm the night of surgery and have been fine with Tylenol since. Hopefully my band goes as smoothly! Time for a nap - I'm giving work a shot tomorrow so off to bed early tonight.   TTFN     9/11/05 3am   Well, it is offically the "day before" and sure enough I can't sleep. I am not nervous more like excited with nerves on the side. I am forcing myself to go to bed now so that I am not a mess when I go to the hospital tomorrow. See ya'll later.       9/16/05   Well I am home and banded - Yay!! It is day 4 and I am feeling soooo much better. Here is my story   9/12/05-10:30am Arrived at BIDMC, waited about a half hour before being brought into pre-op, one of my anesthesiologist came and started my IV (BIDMC is a teaching hospital so although he got my IV in with no problems you could tell that he needed to practice more - he almost forgot to put on gloves - but he did a good job). 2pm still waiting to go into the OR - they were cleaning the room - must have been the cleanest one around when they were done. The anesthesiologist came and wheeled me into the OR - My main anesthesiologist is also my surgeons wife - Stephanie Jones, she was wonderful - she went out and talked with my Mom after surgery and told her that I wake up very well. 3:45ish Surgery went great - no problems, I lost 25lbs before so my doctor was able to fit me with the smaller band. Recovery - my first though "What in the hell have I done" I was in pain but that was quickly remedied. 5pm Into my room (my room mate had been taken to brain surgery and did not return until the next day) I rested comfortably - had a morphine pain button that I could dose myself with - Wonderful. Nothing by mouth until tomorrow but the mouth swabs are great for getting that dry feeling in your mouth and throat to go away. Vitals ever hour or so - I don't remember what time I got up for my first walk - it must have been around 8pm. One lap down the hallway and back - the nurse said that was enough for day one. 9pm-7am I don't sleep well away from home and this was no exception I was away every hour and the night crawled by but I wasn't in any pain. 9/13/05-9am my IV stopped flowing - I was getting back in bed from a walk and bent my arm and that was it - no more IV. A nurse tried to start one in my hand but couldn't get it - no fluids and no morphine - but still OK. 10:30am Transport came to take me down to have the barium swallow done - still no IV but my nurse got me a couple of Morphine injections - oww. Fluoroscopy was awesome (barium is not as bad as the clear stuff they make you drink first - gag) I got to see my port and all my plumbing - pretty cool! Back to my room - more walking - went to the solarium to read. Got to have my 1oz of water by mouth - it was sooo good. 12:30ish tolerated water well so I got to have 1oz strawberry CIB per hour. Not bad. Walking & resting. IV nurse came to start an IV - tried two additional locations with no luck - said that they should put a long line in my whole arm (I think not) - feeling like a human pin cushion. Got my catheter out - Yay. 1pm another IV nurse arrives - told her to go away that I was leaving in a few hours and she wasn't poking me anymore - she left. 3pm Peed - cleared to go home!!! 5pm Chocolate CIB for dinner - Yum. 6pm My surgeon stops by to check on me. Told me I could stay and leave tomorrow. I had to convince him I was good to go (I needed to get some sleep and it wasn't going to happen there). He reluctantly agreed (Dr. Jones is so over protective - I like that in a doctor) Home by 8pm exhausted, sore but happy. (all times are approximate as morphine has a way of making you a little fuzzy) More to come....       9/24/05   Time to update - My BMI has gone from 51.5 to 45.4 since surgery so I am no longer super morbidly obese! My unoffical weight at this time is hovering around 265. I have a follow up on 10/5/05 at which time I will get my offical weight.   So it has been 12 days since surgery and I am finally feeling about 98.2% myself. I no longer have insicion pain and can easily get out of bed or in and out of chairs with no problem. I am still having trouble bending over to pick stuff up off the floor but it gets better every day. I can sneeze and cough with no pain. I have gotten my hunger back but I am so disgusted with all of the foods on my list that I am struggling to down my protien shakes. Just 10 more days and then I should be on to mushies - what a relief. I'll check in as I have more to share.     10/5/05   Had my first follow up appointment today and everything is going well. I have lost 34lbs and been advanced to the stage 4 diet (mushies/soft foods). My incisions are healed and looking great according to the Doc.   So far I can't complain about anything except the liquid diet. Boy that was rough. Well I'm off to try some Tuna.....wish me luck!       11/2/05 Got my first fill today - 1.5 cc's in my 4 cc band. It was pretty cool my surgeon had one of his fellows do it and it was absolutely painless. Then he had me chug some water to see if it was to tight - I'm chugging away and he looks at the fellow and says "You might not want to stand there" - Luckily the water stayed right where it belonged - in me not on the floor. Also got weighed - down to 257.2 so that is -42 lbs. Yippeee. My scale has been lying to me for weeks (tonight when no one is looking I am going to chuck it out the bathroom window!).       11/7/05   OK I'm 1 week shy of 2 months but I felt like taking pictures today so I have some new ones. I am starting to be able to see the loss now - My clothes don't fit any more. This is a size 22 top and my baggy 24 bottoms (I didn't fit into the bottoms 6 months ago) I have been wearing 26/28 's for so long that I forgot that I owned some of the stuff I'm wearing now.         11/21/05   I haven't done a lot of self analyzing to this point but I read a good post this afternoon. "How do you change your eating habits". My response turned into a personal insight so I thought I would post it here rather than take over someone else’s post. My thoughts:   Cool, I have been wondering the same thing lately. I have a 1.5 cc fill in my 4 cc band and I don't think that I have any restriction - I go back to the doc on 1/4/05 and told DH that I was going to get more fill even if I had to fight for it (I have a feeling that because I am losing at the rate that I should my doc will not want to give me an additional fill) But then I started asking myself - "what is restriction?"   I don't want to be so tight that I can't eat the thinks I like - chicken, tuna, bread occasionally. But I have this mind set that says I need "restriction" - maybe we should change that word - to me restriction means a physical inability to do something. I follow the rules - eat how and what I should - I only eat when I am hungry (depending on what I ate last that can be 2-4 hours between meals), I don't drink with or right after meals and I eat until I am full (about 1 - 1 1/2 cups of food). I am losing 1-2 lbs a week on average. Funny - sounds like I may have restriction?   I have had bad days where a bag of pita chips and hummus go down no problem. So I figure - oh well its not like I have restriction. Instead I should be saying "that was a bad choice - don't do it again just because you can". If I get tightened up to the point where I can't eat a bunch of pita chips and hummus chances are I won't be able to eat chicken at all and that is not what the band is about.   Everyone is right - the band is a wonderful tool (I am down a total of 55 lbs since preop and feel great) but I need to wrap my head around the fact that the band will not do it for me - and that has been the hardest part. Just because I can eat like I did before - doesn't mean I should. And the band isn't going to help with that unless it is to tight - thus taking away my ability to choose what I eat.       12/12/05   Well it has been exactly 3 months since my surgery. I was feeling kinda down - didn't feel like I have lost much lately (gotta get another fill in 3 weeks) so I did my monthly measurements and pictures - now I can see it. Normally I wouldn't put these up on the web (me in a bathing suit....faints) but I couldn't resist - some day I will look back at these pictures and go - OH MY GOD, I'm awsome!! For now I just go.....Ok, I can see it, I think. Warning to those who are faint of heart and small children.......you might want to look away. Picture one is the day before surgery and each picture is at a one month interval ending with today -         I can't believe I just did that.....argggggh (trust me they will just keep getting better!!) Sorry about the wardrobe change...the first suit doesn't fit anymore....the girls just flop right out and this is a PG site!   Lynn     12/16/05 - Got a new hair cut yesterday - love it.     2006   1/4/06 To fill or not to fill - that is the question....well not really the question is where the heck did my fill go? I am a victim of the disappearing fill. I received a 1.5 cc fill in November and was going in for my second fill today. When the doc got the needle in he was unable to pull any fluid from my band. Where does 1.2ccs go?? Inquiring minds want to know.   I have a feeling that my first fill was not a great success (rather then there being a problem with the band itseld) maybe this is wishful thinking but I am going to ride with it a while. I do feel different after this fill (I now have 1 cc for sure) than I did on the first one. Life is a learning experience but next time I go in I better have at least 1 cc in my band!!   On a happy note - I am officially down 59 lbs 34 of those since surgery. My B12 is fine now and my cholesterol has gone fro 207 to 196 (baby steps). Speaking of baby steps - time to throw my but on the treadmill, like it or not!! TTFN       1/13/06 Hey - its been 4 months now so here are the new pics - left to right - day before surgery 275lbs - 2 months out 250lbs - 4 monts out 235lbs.         1/26/06 OK so how about some pictures with my clothes on?? Set one is one month post op, set 2 is 4 months post op. From a 26/28 now an 18/20 and still shrinking!         2/4/06 So here is my new band and resized solitare...aren't they beautiful!!! From a size 10.5 to an 8.50
Lynn B

Lynn B

3
Heather Joy's Journal
 

Lots of Stuff Since Last Entry

Lots of stuff has happened since my last entry. My fiancees grandfather died Sunday after a 5 year battle with Congestive Heart Failure. His sister, Tammy was there by his side when it happened. The nurse asked Debbie (Matts mother) Sunday morning if there was ANYONE who hadnt said their goodbyes to him yet, because usually people only hold on this long if they havent made "peace" with someone. While my fiancee's sister was by his side later that day, and after Debbie had told her about the talk with the nurse earlier, she thought that Dave her husband hadnt really had a chance to speak to him within the lst few days & maybe its him her grandfather is waiting to hear from. She called him on her cell phone & put the phone to his ear (he was in a coma) after a few minutes she took the phone, said she'd be home soon & hung up. Her grandfather took 2 more breathes & passed away... Gives you the chills doesnt it? I still dont know what exactly Dave said to him. But I did realize over the last week how close the 2 of them were- it was the 1st time ive seen Dave cry since Ive known Matt my fianncee (which has been over 6 years). The wake & funeral were absolutly beautiful-sad,of course (it made me remember my dads funeral soooo much I cried a LOT these past couple days) ...but it was a real closure to everyone. I met a lot of his family that I hadnt yet met (I met his grandfathers brother (who,sadly enough died on his sons birthday),Clyde-he lives in FL. He was so nice & told me numerous times how much he approved of me & that Matt had "done good" :nanahump: which was nice. Over this past week, through a trying & emotional time, I realised what a wonderful & caring family that I am marrying into-even my mom told me that-how proud & happy she was for me. That may sound strange,..but as they say trying times can bring people so close & that is VERY true.   ~Heather
Heather Joy

Heather Joy

1
My Lapband Journal
 

Ymca / Bored / Valium / Low cal Day?

Feburary 4th   I got up off my ass and went to the Ymca.   I took chase and cry. We played and I worked on my arms for 15 minutes.   I sat in the Hot tub twice.   They got a treat afterwards, and I took one bite of a candy bar and I didnt go to the store for any reses or cheetos.. It was hard. I also thought about getting that spinach cheese dip from Applebees and I didnt do that either, even though we drove right by it.   I am bored. I wish I went to the coast. But i went last weekend and I have a weekend date this coming weekend.. and so I think I should of stayed home and I am BORED off my ass..   Prolly take some valium and go to bed. (at leaste my food intake will end around 1000 calories today IF I do)   I am freezing. The electric Bill was 270$ something and Heat is a thing of the past.. NOt really, but it should be! I dont know how I am going to pay these bills.   I want candy.
Nykee

Nykee

1
Dawg's Lap-Band Journal
 

First Post

Start weight:307 Curr Weight: 276.5   Weigh day is tomorrow. Currently eating between 800 to 1000 Cal. a day. Depending on what I see tomorrow I will adjust my diet. If I have lost greater than 2 pounds I will increase. If I don't lose or maintain I shall stay where I am.
dawg

dawg

1
My Lapband Journal
 

Ashless Birthday party

So, we had her Birthday Party. All of us and my sister, neice and her new man. Plus Ashlee's friend.   It went better than I could of ever hoped for.   She was totally surprised by her ID bracelet and very happy to have it and beemed expressions of feeling lucky and special. That was my intent.   She loved her Roses as she has never had any before and we are not a flower or jewlry kind of family.   The dinner went well at Applebee's, I had tomatoe soup and some Spinach dip and got alittle choked up but it subsided. Everyone else had HUGE and delicious meals. Sure would be nice to eat like that again.. NOT!!!   My sister went and paid the bill, The TURKEY. I tried to pay and it was already paid. THE SNEAK. I called her and she said "thanks for doing my taxes" OH BROTHER, it took me all of 5 minutes to do those taxes. But she did get a hefty refund.. So, HEY, Now I can pay the water bill!!   Ashlee then took off for the coast. She is staying in a motel with a HUGE jacuzzi hot tub in the room (this is a 99$ deal in Lincoln City we are fortunate to get in the winter months) With her boyfriend.. I KNOW I KNOW.. that sounds terrible.. But they been dating for 4 years and well I had to get over that a long time ago.   I wonder what the first "I am an adult" thing she will try to pull on me??
Nykee

Nykee

1
lianna's Journal
 

measurements

20 lbs. makes a difference, glad I took all these to keep a perspective!   229 ,209, inches lost   neck 14.5 ,14, -0.5 chest 48.5, 47, -1.5 ribcage 41,39, -2.0 waist 43, 39.5, -3.5 hips 51, 49, -1.0 thigh 28, 28, -0.0:( calf 17 ,16, -1.0 ankle 9.5, 9, -0.5 bicep 14, 12.5, -1.5 forearm 10 ,9.75, -0.25 wrist 6.25 ,6, -0.25
lianna

lianna

1
lianna's Journal
 

Feb 3-4

Friday Did pretty good. They had bisquits and sausage for breakfast so I ate a piece of sausage and had an Atkins protien drink. Threw the bisquit away. We took a group of students on a field trip to the movies and they had pizza delivered to the park. One of the aids went and picked up chicken for some of us. I had most of a breast and 3-4 bites of cole slaw. Gave the bisquit and mashed potatoes away. Volunteered to serve at the lodge tonite. Stuck around and had drinks afterwards. I drank 4-5 glasses of Chardonnay. Had half a bowl of bean and bacon soup and a few bites of leftover chicken for supper when we got home.   Saturday Woke up at 7 and drank an Atkins drink. I am lazy about drinking those instead of eating something, and they really arent filling.....I just want to break the habit of skipping breakfast and they are convenient. About 10 now and ate the rest of the bowl of soup. I hope to eat a good lunch and supper today. A little hungover feeling, too much wine last night. I am sure I am a little dehydrated I have drank about 3 glasses of water already.
lianna

lianna

1
ReneBean's Journal
 

02/03/06 - I'm feelin' it...

Ok - it's late Friday. I have cleared my desk and put up the obligatory "out of office" messages. Now the surgery looms large...   I was thinking the other day - my biggest anxiety ISN'T that my doctor is going to poke holes in me and put a foreign object into my abdomen. My BIGGEST anxiety is that strangers are going to see my naked, flabby, icky, horrid belly!! How twisted is that. :nanahump: I am paranoid that my fat belly is in some way remarkable or unique and that the surgeon and staff will recoil in horror upon the unveiling of the beast... Yep, I am insane. :madgrin:   Worried about dying under anesthesia? Hell no. Worried about embarrassment!! :nanahump: Nobody but DH has seen my belly in 16-17 yrs. I guess I will just have to suck it up - and suck it in... at least until the knock-out drops take effect!   I had a mad Twinkie craving today. I had brought some "delicious" soy cheese substitute in and the package was sitting on my desk - and somewhere out of the corner of my psyche, I thought I saw Twinkies on my desk - and I WANTED them... for about an hour afterward. I haven't had a Twinkie in at least a YEAR. I smacked myself around on that one.   Must be more stress involved in this whole surgery thing than I thought - if is causing insane carb thoughts to pass through my mind. The other indicator that I am subliminating stress is that I have a visit from every woman's favorite aunt... Oh Joy. No period for months - sometimes even years - but the B*#%! shows up now. GREAT. Wasn't I already freaked out about embarrassment?!? Personally, I feel that baring my naked belly is more than sufficient to insure my enduring mortification - but apparently, the gods want some further amusement at my expense. I wonder if I will be able to laugh at all this later. I am thinking NOT!   My conscious mind is relatively placid. No tears, no shakey hands - but apparently I am REALLY stressed out. Great. Now I am a bonafide drama queen. :drama:
ReneBean

ReneBean

1
My Life Change
 

The Consult with Dr. Spivak

:clap2: yyyiiiiiiiiiiipppppieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee, I am scheduled for March 13, that is a Monday. I am sure it will be a beautiful, sunny day.   And here is what I will do from now until the pre-op diet starts...   eat each large meal like it is the last   do the happy dance   jump like a maniac   recite the pledge of allegiance   kiss my husband, who is providing the funds   get on lapbandtalk.com and tell all of my new friends.   talk about it to my husband until he reaches the brink of insanity.   say a prayer to thank God     order some pizza, thick crust   BEFORE PICS.....FUN!!!!!!!!!! NOW, SMILE BIG...   AND A SIDEVIEW....   AND LETS SEE THAT HONKY TONK BOODONKADUNK! OH, YEAH, Sister! That's some junk if I ever saw...   call my friends and tell them     talk to myself in the mirror   practice drinking so much water that i puke   Dr. Spivak, i am not worthy!!   I have the best doctor   WoooooOOOooooo HoooOOOOooOOOOoooooo!   go to the movies and eat popcorn, one last time   ponder taking up fencing   daydream about a thin me   smile for no apparent reason   still smiling   This is what it is like when the world loves me!   daydream some more   make note of the water displacement level in the bathtub, after i get in   i bet laundry is even fun when your thin   maybe i will take up llama-backriding   wwwoooOOOooooOOOhooOOOoooOOOOoooo   get my old size 5 cheerleading uniform out and imagine wearing it, on my waist, not my thigh.       HAVE A PARTY!!!!!!!   HUG,LOVE,SQUEEZE & KISS DH FOR PAYING $15K
mini_me

mini_me

2
ladylu1213's Lap-Band Journal
 

my lapband

:clap2: 2/3/06 - I went for my stomach video today and thank ggodnes everything was fine after choking a week ago on a piece of broccoli. Dr. Geiss removed last week 7cc's and today 2/3 Melanie put back 6 1/2cc's. I feel a tightness even though I'm only drinking liguid. I had 2 cups of buternut squash soup and later a fat free-sugar free pudding w/fat free whip creme. so far so good.
ladylu1213

ladylu1213

1
My Lapband Journal
 

My Daughters 18th Birthday Today.

Febuary 3rd.   Today I have two 18 yr olds. :nanahump:   Its my daughters birthday, she is the middle child.   My son will be 19 in Mid March.   If they werent both still at home and still completely under my wing and control, this could be a very sad day indeed as I always imagined it would be. Instead I am happy, I am really really happy.. Hummm, TAKE NOTE!:nanahump:   I have to go out now and get reservations at Applebee's and Buy 18 Roses and pick up her present at the jewlers, its an ID bracelet that has ner name on the front and 'happy 18th, love Mom' on the back.   I am proud of myself for saving the money needed to make this a special day for her. ((((hugs to self))))   NOTE: I lost 75% of my income in July and we been having HARD times. It is NOT the time to have such luxeries but the kids understand that. But, I couldnt bear to have had to jip her on this special day. There is NO way she exspects roses and a nice ID bracelet. I am very excited. I did this on my OWN too.. (the 75% income loss was a MAN and his money)     P.S. My daughter is ABSOLUTELY amazing. Just 18 and a Sophmore in college. I am so proud of her, its hard to put into words sometimes.. She was my middle child AKA the 'bad seed'.. total middle child syndrome. My whole life I had to make it up to her for being the middle child, where my oldest was the BEST son anyone could ever ask for and my youngest was the most precious little perfect babykins I ever needed.. This made her quite selfish, self centered, spoiled and a terrorizing little brat, I honestly thought was going to have major problems in life and grow up hating me and the world for not making her happy or giving her everything she thought she deserved. We werent half as close as I was to my other kids and each year it got worse instead of better. I really resigned myself to have failed this child in a way I had not my others. Why didnt she know how much I loved her, why hadnt she learned to be selfless and humble and happy like the others? This is of course all the neggative, she was far from this horrid, but this was a part of her and the part I am Soooo GLAD and AMAZED and GREATFULL to report was not permanant.. She grew up. All of a sudden, I have this perfect child who outshines the others now.. and she is proud and she is happy and she acts like this life does NOt revolve around her, but around US.. as a family.. and what we can do with our selves in this world and our fellow humans. I could go on and on about what she does, from always bringing in the mail and running erronds for all of us left and right, from having a car and insurence and a job and a responsible and safe and good social life.. NEVER EVER THINk your kids are lost forever.. IF my AShlee could come out this, ANY KID CAN! Beleive in what you taught them and what you say and show them and Of course the one thing I never ever did was stop loving her, and I DIDNT let her convince me that I had... I love her. I just cant say enough. She is my light, she is really the best thing in my life right now.. She is my everything. :nanahump:
Nykee

Nykee

1
My Lapband Journal
 

How to use this Journal

Hummm, trying to think of how to use this Journal to my best advantage.   I have always wanted one, on line and I never got around to making one, like a blog or my own website or anything like that.   I would like to continue to post as I have on the site, minus my long winded personal rants and such... and adding my basic life details, that I wouldnt normally feel any need to tell anyone but myself, just to have.   so.. I think thats what I will do.   plus, I will try to log once a day..
Nykee

Nykee

1
hopefull's Lap-Band Journal
 

Todays food log 2-3-06

Friday :amen: Current weight on user friendly scale-235 :clap2: Trying to stay positive..weight hasn't changed inawhile. I'm receiving lots of nice compliments. Worked out Mon, Wed, Thurs at Curves. Intensity level for 3 days is 8..Lots of sweat by the end.     Coffee 6 oz with splenda and flavored cream-(35 cal/serving) Egg cooked with PAM , 5 mushrooms, 1/2 toast with butter Picks-3 bites cereal:huytsao dessert dish of beef stew--2 pieces beef, few carrots, broth small salad with greens, rb, lowfat cheese(small amount) crunchy noodles, dsg yogurt, 3 oz   lots of water.....no gyn today...did I eat enough calories???:nanahump:
hopefull

hopefull

1
Penni60's Journal
 

Feb 2, 2006

My thoughts tonight After the comments back and forth surrounding the Dr. Ortiz thread I felt the need to vent some on a separate thread.   I won't rehash what was already said on that thread. I will simply state my thoughts and how I am dealing with it all.   I was very offended by the comments of both Dr. Ortiz and Dr. Pleatman. I addressed those on that thread.   When thinking about my own personal demons I reflect on what got me so mad and upset over those comments. I realized it was one more thing telling me that no matter what I try it won't work. I will forever be fat. My insecurities came out when both their comments seemed insensitive and detached. This pissed me off as an RN and it pissed me off as a patient.   This anger does me NO GOOD. I just need to redirect these feelings of failure with the band in a more positive light. I know I have lost weight with the band. I see this. I feel this. But I am focusing on now that I don't have the band anymore what will I do to keep off what I lost. It is hard to see past one minute of one hour of one day.   I come here for support and understanding and compassion to get through the rough times. I don't come here for seemingly uncaring surgeons to suggest I 'get over' losing the band. Yes it might have been an unfortunate mistake for him to have said that and he might truly be sorry for the comment. But I just simply don't think he gets how damaging that statement could be.   So, I am rambling here and alot of this might not make any sense at all. This is more for me than anything else. Sort of a cathartic exercise.   I am really struggling on a day to day basis. I get up and eat my breakfast and do really well till around 2 or 3 pm. Then it all falls apart. I am travelling right now and that makes it harder to stick to the Nutrisystem diet. I am struggling to get in my water. I was doing so well the first two weeks. I even lost 6 lbs on it in the first two weeks. Now I am away from home and really worried I am gaining back the weight. I am so upset with myself right now. I have struggled to keep honest and to be accountable. That is hard to do. I eat really good then I screw it up. So I start the day all over again the next day telling myself "today will be different" and it isn't.   The one thing that worked for me was having the Band. Now that is gone. So, I am on this roller coaster of eating right and eating junk every day. My body is not liking it either. My joints are aching, my back is more sore than usual, headaches are returning, I have noticed my ankles are swelling more along with my fingers as well. All this was going on before I was banded. So does this mean I am regressing? YES!! And this is what scares me.   I am so happy for Michelle that she has moved on and facing her demons as best she can. I am struggling with this same issue.   To those that supported and said such sweet things on the Dr. Ortiz thread I am proud to call you part of my band family.   To those that expressed a differing opinion, I respect your statements but walk a mile in my shoes first before making a suggestion that by me raising a couple of questions and making a couple of comments would run off any doctor.   To those that have had really great experiences in Mexico, I am truly happy for you and I pray that you continue to have those great experiences. I would not wish what I have gone through on anyone friend or foe.   To those that are new and just starting the process, do your homework. Know that if you chose Mexico please have local aftercare set up. Otherwise know that if you have an emergent situation you will need to go back to your band surgeon. This could raise some difficult issues you will need to face rather quickly that you hadn't thought through.   I really care about each and every one of you guys. I would offer my support and understanding and can assure you of me being non judgmental.   The only thing I ask in return is that I receive the same of which I have on many occasions and most likely will in the future as well.   G-nite family.
Penni60

Penni60

1
beautifultina's Journal
 

ok now what?

OK I got my fill on monday. I feel restricted YES!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!! But, now I find it hard to throw food away or to leave it on my plate, even the smaller ones. I can usually take about 4-6 bites at any meal and feel full. But I keep eating that "one more bite".:hungry: WTF is wrong with me?!?!?!?!? Why can I not stop eating when I am full? I have resorted to drinking protien shakes between the meals to be sure I am getting my protien in. I know it is ont the best way to do it but, I want to keep on losing. I was reading on the forum today that someone is still drinking soda...I already do a lot of Bad for my band things, I am shocked that anyone is drinking soda..whon't the carbonation really expand and stretch your pouch? (EVEN if it wont---i want to think in my head that it will) I dont need any enouragement on the cheating dept. Why are people still eating diet type foods and using diet programs here? Isn't the band itself supposed to be the tool that we use to change our habits to that of a normal person? Normal people don't take trim spa or do the Atkin's diet. I want to be able to eat regular food and be ok with it. I saw that there are bandsters that don't/can't eat bread or pasta...I WISH!!! I can eat virtually anything I want to. I just try to avoid rice. makes me feel bloated when it expands in my pouch. I saw my Ex Boyfriend Jerrold today. He is a very nice gentleman. It was great to hear him tell me how nice I looked. (he doesn't know about the surgery as don't most people in my life). I have a goal to exercise at least three times a week. I need to get on the ball of getting in the habit of exercising. I havne't been and it is hurting me not to. Wish me well.
beautifultina

beautifultina

1
chameleon's Lap-Band Journal
 

sleepy

I am beat! Very tough few days at work and my 21 year old daughter who is goin on 10 is ticking me off. My 14 year old son is my salvation now! I guess the first one gets ripped off in some ways...they are the product of on the job parent training and the second one gets the seasoned professional...with a little more money too! I am gonna start to track my food on here so just skip it cuz food tracking can't be anything BUT boring as hell!   8:30 am: 2 cups coffee 12:30 pm: 1/6 of a 16" pepperoni and cheese pizza 1 toasted cheese sandwich 16 oz. sweet tea (real sugar)   2:00 pm 16 oz lemonade (once again real sugar) 6:30 pm 1 whole can of chunky chicken noodle soup 8 saltine crackers 12 oz. diet pepsi   WOW...thats kinda frightening! Obviously not banded yet but just curious to see what my normal eating habits look like these days....I kinda gave up tracking my food intake about a year ago...it just gets soooo old! I wonder how long it will take my insurance company to ok the surgery after the DR submits everything?? Well gotta go take a rest. Peace out...:notagree
chameleon

chameleon

1
ReneBean's Journal
 

2/02/06 - Counting Down

OK - it's REAL now. Only 5 days to go...   I guess it's good that work has been crazed, my SIL and her DH have arrived and I have DH's Cousin staying at my house. I just don't have time to freak out. :omg:   I have eaten more raw veggies in the last 5 days than I have in the previous 5 months... mmmmm. veggies.... :nervous Sadly, I can't eat them bathed in dip the way I always have - but I did make some "diet" dip with Lipton Garlic & Herb packet + FF sour cream + low fat feta cheese. I threw in a big globby spoonful of light mayo for that tangy/creamy thing. The cheese needs to be blended in - but Feta makes a really strong flavor - which means you feel just as happy with half the dip. It has relatively lots of carbs - like 50 carbs to a batch - but I spread the batch out over 3 days, so I think it's all right.   I must be doing something right. There are these strange divets on my face - nay, hollows - and my spare chin is almost gone. Besides, the fat cells are visibly escaping through the pores on my chin. great...:cry   This not having a scale thing is starting to be irritating. I want to KNOW that I am losing... is that wrong? :nanahump: But Walmart has failed me... I went to the new Walmart near my job - and they did not have any bathroom scales. Not just that they didn't have one that would take my maximum density - they didn't have ANY. I guess that I am still undecided on the scale business, since part of me thinks that they may have saved me from myself... scale obsession can be tragic.   I actually took my measurements yesterday. It was horrifying. It's bad enough to weigh 346 lbs - but dang! to know that my ass is as big around as I am tall is just disgusting. I so want to get on with the surgery so I can start to be rid of this huge bulk. I guess I had better start working on the financing for the PS now... There is just only so much shrinking of skin that any rational person can expect. *sigh* I am thinking full body make-over... Gosh - are they still doing that Swan show? Maybe that...   It is getting difficult to wait for Monday. I am horrid at waiting, and the closer I get to the actual day of surgery, the more I want it to be RIGHT NOW.   Is it Monday, yet?!?!?
ReneBean

ReneBean

2
Robin Mac's Journal
 

Forgot to mention....

For several years I’ve taken Prilosec on a daily basis for heartburn. If I missed a day, I knew it! I read somewhere that the need for antacids should become less after Lap-Band surgery, so I decided to skip a day and see what happens. I was fine, so I skipped another, then another. Fine again and again. Now I’m only taking it twice a week and have had no problems so far. I guess it’s only a matter of time before I can cut it out completely. A wonderful bonus!
Robin Mac

Robin Mac

1
Robin Mac's Journal
 

Second Fill Visit

I had an appointment for my second fill today, but because I have lost 7 lbs. since my first fill (yea!) and am experiencing the occasional ‘golfball in chest’ when I eat too fast, my surgeon said that I don’t need one. I still feel like I’m able to consume too much food at one sitting, though.
Robin Mac

Robin Mac

1
luvlif's Journal
 

241.5 2/2/06

VERONICA & SUNNY STOPPED IN FROM HOLBROOK. VERONICA LOOKED @ ME KIND OF SURPRISED & SAID "YOU LOOK GOOD?" I JUST SMILED & SAID "THANKS"
luvlif

luvlif

1

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