OK I got my fill on monday. I feel restricted YES!!!! THANK YOU GOD!!!!
But, now I find it hard to throw food away or to leave it on my plate, even the smaller ones. I can usually take about 4-6 bites at any meal and feel full. But I keep eating that "one more bite".:hungry: WTF is wrong with me?!?!?!?!? Why can I not stop eating when I am full? I have resorted to drinking protien shakes between the meals to be sure I am getting my protien in. I know it is ont the best way to do it but, I want to keep on losing.
I was reading on the forum today that someone is still drinking soda...I already do a lot of Bad for my band things, I am shocked that anyone is drinking soda..whon't the carbonation really expand and stretch your pouch? (EVEN if it wont---i want to think in my head that it will) I dont need any enouragement on the cheating dept. Why are people still eating diet type foods and using diet programs here? Isn't the band itself supposed to be the tool that we use to change our habits to that of a normal person? Normal people don't take trim spa or do the Atkin's diet. I want to be able to eat regular food and be ok with it.
I saw that there are bandsters that don't/can't eat bread or pasta...I WISH!!! I can eat virtually anything I want to. I just try to avoid rice. makes me feel bloated when it expands in my pouch.
I saw my Ex Boyfriend Jerrold today. He is a very nice gentleman. It was great to hear him tell me how nice I looked. (he doesn't know about the surgery as don't most people in my life).
I have a goal to exercise at least three times a week. I need to get on the ball of getting in the habit of exercising. I havne't been and it is hurting me not to. Wish me well.
I love how we have the oppertunity to make any day a day for a fresh start. It doesn't have to be january 1 or even our birthday or anniversary.
It can be a wednesday or a saturday or tomorrow or in 5 minutes.
I have decided to take a fresh start with my weight loss. I am losing too slowly and it is due to my own lack of measureing my food and total lack of exercising.
I can hardly believe how much in debt I am and I am still slacking aabout losing weight
It is not that I dont want to lose weight ..I think I may be self sabotogoeing. Am I afraid to be thinner? Am I afraid to be healthy?
What is it that won't let me lose?
I try to tell myself that if harry wont go to thte gym with me that i shouldnt go but I NEED to go. I need to do this for myself. I need to make a difference in my own life before I can expect to in anyone else's.
We are having a clothes swap tomorrow and I am scared as hell to get rid of my big clothes. What if i gain the weight back and I need them again?
Then I will have to spend more money and get more clothes. Then part of me is excited to get rid of them so i can see my own progression. I started out in a size 26/28 now i am swimming in my 24's. My 22s fit but they have been tight as of late. I am frightened to try them on again. What if they are still too tight? What if I can never get into them?
I need a fill.
I am glad I am getting one on monday.
I want to be so tight that i am restricted to liquids for at least two weeks.
I need to stay on liquids for as long as I can after this fill. I want to catch up to a lady in my support group who had the surgery one day after me and she has already lost 67 pounds. I feel that i am getting left in the dirt. maybe that feeling of humiliation will motivate me to work out and eat less. i pray that God will provide that for me.
