Fresh Starts

I love how we have the oppertunity to make any day a day for a fresh start. It doesn't have to be january 1 or even our birthday or anniversary.

It can be a wednesday or a saturday or tomorrow or in 5 minutes.

I have decided to take a fresh start with my weight loss. I am losing too slowly and it is due to my own lack of measureing my food and total lack of exercising.

I can hardly believe how much in debt I am and I am still slacking aabout losing weight

It is not that I dont want to lose weight ..I think I may be self sabotogoeing. Am I afraid to be thinner? Am I afraid to be healthy?

What is it that won't let me lose?

I try to tell myself that if harry wont go to thte gym with me that i shouldnt go but I NEED to go. I need to do this for myself. I need to make a difference in my own life before I can expect to in anyone else's.

We are having a clothes swap tomorrow and I am scared as hell to get rid of my big clothes. What if i gain the weight back and I need them again?

Then I will have to spend more money and get more clothes. Then part of me is excited to get rid of them so i can see my own progression. I started out in a size 26/28 now i am swimming in my 24's. My 22s fit but they have been tight as of late. I am frightened to try them on again. What if they are still too tight? What if I can never get into them?

I need a fill.

I am glad I am getting one on monday.

I want to be so tight that i am restricted to liquids for at least two weeks.

I need to stay on liquids for as long as I can after this fill. I want to catch up to a lady in my support group who had the surgery one day after me and she has already lost 67 pounds. I feel that i am getting left in the dirt. maybe that feeling of humiliation will motivate me to work out and eat less. i pray that God will provide that for me.