I wish I hadn't told anyone I was getting the band

[Time to love me 0]

Nickie,

Please be proud of what loss you have had with out feeling like you did something bad. Don't let others make you feel ashamed or embarassed of your accomplishments. It doesn't matter if you had lost 10 or 5 pounds.. you still lost and that is all that matters. People, sometimes, can be ignorant.

I am in the process of getting the band and I've chose to only tell my husband. We had a get together over Labor day weekend and I was going to tell a few close family members and two friends, but as I finally found the courage to tell them, after talking about weight loss, someone started a conversation about the lap band and the by pass surgeries and nothing but negative things came out of peoples mouths. I was floored that people who I knew all my life could speak the words that came from their mouths. Of course they were thin all their lives and never dealt with weight issues. They were stating that it was shallow of someone to go that path to look good, it's the easy way out and how unhealthy rapid weight loss is.

I quickly jumped to defense and said it was not easy for people to do this and told them how much people had to change their lives to have the band. Not to mention, isn't any type of weight loss a road to being healthy? How can that be shallow? After that I had to shut my mouth because I didn't want to get the band and lose the weight fast and have them all bombard me with "You got the band, didn't you?"

So bottom line for me is, I guess sometimes you need to keep things to yourself and your husband/wife.

Best wishes to you, Nickie! :Bunny

[loopylou 0]

I initially wasn't going to tell anyone. And then I had "possibly life-threatening" complications and realised I needed to tell my family. I dont regret doing so. My mother is not supportive but I didn't expect her to be, but I feel better having it all out in the open. I have always been very open and it would feel wrong for me to change that somehow. I choose not to feel bad when people say things about it, as I consider "what others think of me, and my decisions, none of MY business". Also if people want to keep talking about it I make a decision about whether to discuss with them based on whether I feel that they are genuine and whether I can handle the conversation at that moment. If they are genuine and I can handle it, I will talk about it but, if not, I simply say "Hey, do you mind if we dont talk about this right now?" or "I find talking about my weight really boring. How about we...(go grab a coffee, get back to work, go shopping, talk about your body odour problem...) [fill in the blank]" That seems to work and I still feel like myself, being open but not allowing others to pressure or distress me.

[dylansmom 27]

I think you have to do what works for you. Not everyone will feel comfie talking about it, but then there are those of us who are. I am willing to shout it from the rooftops if it'll save someone's life.

I've had so many people who are obese ask me about it, and I take the time EVERYTIME to address their fears, concerns, etc. and answer all of their questions.

Although my situation has been unlike anyone else I know who has had the surgery, I am still proud that I'm 50 pounds lighter then I was at my heaviest. 50 pounds is nothing to poo poo at, no matter how long it's been since I've lost anymore!

I've only had one person ask me if I'm still losing, and I know that she's a jealous/nasty person, so I let it slide off my back like it's nothing. Everyone else has been VERY supportive of me.

[Daisybelle 0]

If I could back up time I would not tell anyone. I think everyone in my town knows I have the band. I feel so much stress. you would not believe it, seems like everytime I walk out my door someone is asking well how much weight have you lost. The phone rings and its someone wanting to know how much weight I have lost. The worst thing of all is I've lost 25lbs in less than five weeks have no fill yet and they look at me like I haven't lost enough. Because they know so little about the band they think I should be losing like I had the gastric bypass. Please be smart and don't tell anyone.

Those are the exact reasons I decided not to tell anyone. Along with the fact that I chose to go to Mexico to have my surgery and knew I would get flack from lots of ignorant people about that.

My husband and daughter know, of course, and my boss because I had to ask for the time off from work. After about a month I told my closest friend because she noticed I wasn't eating. I really don't plan on telling anyone else.

[nickie456 0]

Thanks for all your help. I am very proud of the 25lbs that I have lost. I personaly only told my husband, my two kids and my best friend. But I didn't tell them not to say anything, so they all told someone and that someone told someone else and around the world it went.

I do understand some of you that said you don't care who knows and some of you say that you tell everyone. But I do not handle pressure well at all. I do feel like everyone is watching me to see what and how much I eat.

I guess what I'm trying to say is when your deciding to tell or not to tell consider whether there going to give you support or pressure and to make sure if you do tell someone that they know whether you want them to keep it a secret or not.

[Road Queen 0]

Nicki - it is a very personal decision. I'm terrible with secrets so I pretty much just told people. I hear lots of stupid comments. And first I get a little upset then I laugh about it later. And sometimes I kind of get even

....one of the ladies has told me numerous times she would really like to get the band to help her get rid of the 7 extra pounds she is carrying around..yes 7 pounds...so the last time we talked and she was complaining about her excess weight I got into an explanation of what sliming and pb's involve. I know it was a mean but...

[Mrs Sabre 1]

I'm just getting started, and have already decided only to tell choice people - family, closest friends, and work folks on a need to know basis (cause of all the appointments). Although I'm feeling really optimistic, until my insurance actually approves me for surgery, there is no reason to tell anyone else. Too many people have watched my weight yo-yo over the last 10 years and climb especially high over the last 2 for me to tell.

If/when I'm banded and losing weight, if someone asks how I'm doing it, then I'd tell them. For me personnally, right now it's just too soon.

[flygirlincolo 0]

I too was banded about 6weeks ago and I also feel as if everyone is watching everything I put in my mouth! I swear my own spouse acts like I shouldn't eat at ALL he makes me feel so guilty and he doesn't understand about not being filled yet and I am so tired of feeling guilty any time I eat something! I try to explain it to him but it doesn't help I too have lost about 22 lbs w/o a fill and I think that is great but guess not! any ways I know how you feel!!

Carrie

[Guest DivaRenee]

Just wanted to say congratulations on your loss! You are doing great! Just shake off all the haters

[CaliQueenBee 0]

I think most of us are hesitant to tell anyone simply because we have tried unsucessfully so many other diets and are worried that this somehow will not work either because nothing else has. And who wants someone that we care about to be unsupportive of our decision when we're so excited about it? I have told a couple people nearest to me, my husband and a few friends and I got the same negative reaction from most, but hey, everyone's entitled to their opinion, right? It's my body and I'm the one suffering with the problem with obesity, so I did it for me. I've lost 18 lbs so far, and now my friends are very supportive - funny how that works... Bottom line is, if you choose to share this experience with others, just be prepared for a negative reaction, but keep in mind you're doing this for your health & happiness not theirs. They will eventually come around when they see you melting away. This forum is an excellent source of support and information, so keep posting your thoughts cuz it helps all of us!