What has anyone said to you that they meant in the best way possible, but it actually hurt in the long run. An example of what is always told to me is "you are sooo pretty to be your size."

Another thing a skinny girl once told me, not realizing my weight and state of depression, was that she would kill herself if she ever weighed 200lbs, then asked me "wouldn't you?" And I was thinking, I'm still alive you scrawny b****. I can laugh now, but it kept me depressed for years, oh Lord I have some stories of the goofy things people say to me, not realizing my position.

I've been reading these post and I can definately relate to 90% of the stories. I have never been "skinny" but I did loose a lot of weight once and got down to 170 lbs (woo hoo ephedra). That's when I met my DH, and DH's mom. She is a sweet lady and and I wouldn't trade my inlaws, but sometimes she says things that hurt my feelings. She doesn't say them to be mean, they just come out wrong. After DH and I had been dating or a few months (and were realizing this is it) his mom said "You know, your the biggest girl he's ever dated. We'll have to see how this works out". I was mortified. Four years later and 100 lbs heavier - it's working out wonderfully.

My mom once told me, after I had lost the weight the first time, that she was glad I lost weight cause my a** was the widest she'd ever seen. Now I've gained the weight back plus 30 lbs, and she hasn't said anything. I keep that comment in the back of my mind.:thumbup:

I wanted to share another Victoria's Secret story. A few years ago I was taking a speech class. For an assignment we had to observe some type of human behavior and then give a presentation. I had been aware for a long time that I was treated differently because of my weight. I noticed while at the mall one day that the skinny little sales girls at Victoria's Secret only offered samples of the perfume they were peddling to other skinny women. They had a display outside of their store and would ask women as they walked by. So, I sat where I could see them for a couple of hours and they never even once offered their sample to a women who would be considered overweight. It was a Saturday 6 weeks or so before Christmas and the mall was packed. They offered it to men for their girlfriends or wives, but never a heavy woman. They would actually step around the heavy women to get to a thinner version. It was deplorable! We might not be able to wear their bras, but we can't buy their perfume either? They would rather miss out on a commission than sell to an overweight woman! I wrote a paper and gave a presentation on it. I got an A+. My prof wanted me to send my results to the corporate office, but I never got around to it. I do however tell as many people as I can and hope they will not give them their business.

I work at a high school now. Teenage boys are just the worst, even though I am a grown up. They get a good laugh when they hear my desk chair squeak. They like to say it's screaming, begging me to get up. I have also had them talk behind my back about how tight my jeans were.(Which they really weren't. They were stretch.) They were taking bets on how long it would be before the seams popped and the button popping off and killing someone.

My ex thought it was a compliment to say he would love to marry me AFTER i lost 80 pounds. He kept saying it over and over as a joke and the amt of weight i needed to lose before he married me went higher and higher.

It really hurt my feelings and felt he was putting me down. Am I that unlovable just because I am thinner or fatter? Do I even have a personality or heart or intelligence that makes me worthy of love, regardless of my weight?

SO now I only lost 37 pounds so far, but look a lot hotter than I was. I got a new boyfriend who is 10 times better looking than my ex. My ex is so jealous now and doesnt understand why I dont want to be with him and is mad that the whole western world is hitting on me now. I guess he should be careful what he wishes for!!

Bergdorfblonde,

REVENGE IS SWEET!!!!!!!

Hugs to your sexy hot self!

Donna

I have to agree with the Victoria Secret thing. I went in to buy a gift for my sister. some lotion and a gift card. and couldnt get anyone to wait on me. It was not crouded and I felt like I had the plague how they avoided me. When I finaly got someones attention. The lady said to me before I could even tell her what I was looking for she said we dont carry your size. and walked away.

WOW!! Looks like Victoria's Secret is out of the closet!!! Thank you all for your stories and support. After hearing them, I may just write that letter. In honor of all of you. That REALLY sucks.

thank you tapshoes for your kind words and support. Guess a lot of us won't be shopping there anymore.

Why do thin people treat fat people like we are invisible? What are they so uncomfortable about? It's like, God forbid a fat person goes into Victoria's Secret to buy makeup. Is there a size you need to be to fit into a lipgloss? Its shameful. I think being fat is the last socially acceptable discrimination left. I am the same girl whether I am fat or thin and it seriously bugs me how people treat us differently based on a number on the scale.

I have to agree with the Victoria Secret thing. I went in to buy a gift for my sister. some lotion and a gift card. and couldnt get anyone to wait on me. It was not crouded and I felt like I had the plague how they avoided me. When I finaly got someones attention. The lady said to me before I could even tell her what I was looking for she said we dont carry your size. and walked away.

LOL sometimes it feels like they think my fat is contagious lol morons.

Place: Work

Who: Co-worker

Comment: WOW! You've dropped a ton of weight.

Response: None - I am gobsmacked.

I want everyone to keep in mind that the skinny rude people are really insecure themselves are are trying to "lift" themselves up by putting over weight people down. I really feel sorry for them. You know when a person acts this way they don't go home at night to a happy life or they would not feel the need to treat others this way!

Place: Work

Who: Co-worker

Comment: WOW! You've dropped a ton of weight.

Response: None - I am gobsmacked.

I wish people could understand there IS a tactful way to compliment someone who is clearly losing weight. The above is NOT one of them.

:biggrin:

I guess I'm just not as sensitive as others on here.. If somebody was like "you've lost a ton of weight" I would just take it as being a slang way of saying "you've lost a lot of weight". I mean, I am fat.. period... I'm morbidly obese and though I don't think 30-something pounds is a "ton" of weight (referring to myself), lets say I lost 100 pounds and somebody said that to me, well, from their persective that is a shit load of weight and they are amazed. They don't mean it as an insult, so why should we take it as an insult? Why must we be all paranoid about how people try to compliment us? There's no need for it. Maybe this is why I never felt like I was being made fun of when I was almost 300 pounds.. because I didn't pick apart every statement that was made to me.. and nobody ever deliberately said "you are a fat ass".. yet, for some reason at 125 everybody felt the need to tell me I was anorexic and gross looking (usually obese older women).. like it was more sociably acceptable to pick on the skinny person..

I'm not trying to tell anybody how to react to statements made, but we were/are all obviously obese or we wouldn't have gotten this surgery in the first place.. people are going to react to the weightloss...

I believe what we are saying here is that we wish people could be a little more polite when commenting on our weight...or not comment at all.

No offence to you but this is where we are comming to vent to eachother about other people. because most of us get hurt by what has been said. Maybe not you. But the rest of us commenting on here just want support and understanding for the reactions we hear from others.

Hey Coolcrystal

To me, how something is expressed is equally as important as what is intended to be communicated. Just one of my little quirks!

Oh well, if we all thought the same way imagine how dull life would be!