Freetofly

Wow Jen, been there!!!! But I learned three important things about deprivation: First, I'm not going to run out of food, so stop worrying about it. Second, deprivation isn't necessarily a bad thing. And third - skinny people aren't afraid to be hungry sometimes. You're right - it's a head game. You just have to stop running towards the wrong goalpost :cool: I do know this: it's hard to give all that up, it's been a security blanker for far too long. I also know this: You CAN do this! Tell yourself that every day! It sounds weird, but just like a little kid will eventually belive she is stupid because she hears it every day, you can turn this around with the positive affirmations as well. You CAN do this! You WILL do this! It's NOT a bad thing! Go Jen Go!!!

Folks ask me how I dealt with Thanksgiving last year. It's funny, because I cooked Thanksgiving dinner last year for about 14 people I hosted at my home. The thing is, you just can't focus on the food. I remember when food was EVERYTHING. The band changed all that for me, and I had to find other things to focus on. So, I sat myself next to my 2-yr-old goddaughter, and that kept me really busy LOLOL. I also engaged in all the conversations - that's what family get-togethers are REALLY all about, right? Time with the family? So, I took small bits of my band-friendly favorites, and just nibbled: ate slow, chewed very well, waited for each bite to hit the pouch before deciding if I was ready for more. I guess the bottom line is: I'm banded, and I ACCEPT that. I EMBRACE it! I do NOT fight it. Food is NOT the be-all and end-all of family gatherings and celebrations. Get to know your family and friends again! My family had been missing me for years because I kept hiding behind the dinner plate. And most of all - give thanks. :cool:

Folks ask me how I dealt with Thanksgiving last year. It's funny, because I cooked Thanksgiving dinner last year for about 14 people I hosted at my home. The thing is, you just can't focus on the food. I remember when food was EVERYTHING. The band changed all that for me, and I had to find other things to focus on. So, I sat myself next to my 2-yr-old goddaughter, and that kept me really busy LOLOL. I also engaged in all the conversations - that's what family get-togethers are REALLY all about, right? Time with the family? So, I took small bits of my band-friendly favorites, and just nibbled: ate slow, chewed very well, waited for each bite to hit the pouch before deciding if I was ready for more. I guess the bottom line is: I'm banded, and I ACCEPT that. I EMBRACE it! I do NOT fight it. Food is NOT the be-all and end-all of family gatherings and celebrations. Get to know your family and friends again! My family had been missing me for years because I kept hiding behind the dinner plate. And most of all - give thanks. :willy_nilly:

I've never blogged before, thought I'd try it out see what the fuss is all about :cool: Been banded a year and a half now. Looking for a final weight of 160 or less. That would be bikini weight for me, although by then I'll be looking like a SharPei, so I think I'll stick with major spandex in my swimnwear.

I've never blogged before, thought I'd try it out see what the fuss is all about Been banded a year and a half now. Looking for a final weight of 160 or less. That would be bikini weight for me, although by then I'll be looking like a SharPei, so I think I'll stick with major spandex in my swimnwear.

It goes for both sides, in the majority of cases, I believe. As we lose the weight, we start to like OURSELVES more, and other people "get" that about us. People naturally gravitate towards happy people, people with high self-esteem. Although society as a whole, without doubt, judges and categorizes and discriminates against the overweight, it is often not the sole reason we are treated like lower-class citizens - it is often because that is how we view ourselves: with disgust, self-hatred, hopelessness and helpless. I know I feel better about myself. :thumbup:

You know you have good restriction when you keep an empty coffee cup in your hand all the time... just in case! .... so you can spit in it while pretending to sip your drink.

Your Breakfast IS your morning medications! Your snack is your vitamins!

Oh, when I could first start crossing my legs comfortably ... !!!!!! I still remember that day!

...when your afternoon snack is one cherry.

My family always celebrates birthdays by everyone eating the birthday person's favorite food. When it got to my turn, I said they all have to go to out to dinner, order one meal, and split it between them all!

SickNTired - I spit into the trash can when I can't make it to the bathroom or the sink in time when something is coming up - usually from being stuck or just plain eating too much for my pouch.

...when the hottest rumor at work is that you're bulemic. (The girls just HATE it when I run into the stall to PB - yuck!)

Jenhay - thank you so much for the prayers!!! Hugs, Donna

Fluffycat, This coming from someone who is stuggling so much may sound hypocritical, but I think what we all have to do in order to "let go and let God" is SUBMIT. That word has a lot of Biblical connotations, many of which really rub me the wrong way as a woman. When I think about submitting, I think of falling to my knees and saying "Ok, Lord, I give it all to you." Now, that's scary, especially for me because I have major trust issues stemming from previous relationships and marriage. Every now and then I can do it, when I'm feeling particularly weak and tired and helpless. But somehow, when God does lend His helping hand to me and gives me strength, I suddenly tell Him "go away, I can do this myself," like some stubborn two-year-old. Back to square one. Again. And again. Submitting is so against everything I've ever learned in life. Hugs, Donna

I still find myself waffling on Step 1 - sometimes I'm absolutely sure I have no control over my compulsions, sometimes I'm too stubborn to admit it. I'm having some major problems with Step 2 this week. I have been having the most horrifying thoughts of telling God to get out of my way - I've never done that before. I really am a mule-head. I refused to go to church Sunday because I wanted to clean my house. I told myself that the choir music is boring, nobody cares, I don't know that many people at church anyway, yadda yadda yadda. My group meeting this week was all about "letting go and letting God", believe it or not. Coincidence? The strangest thing is - I know how to do that, and I've done it before. Unfortunately, I always seem to grab my personal crap back and stubbornly try to handle it all myself because "it's my responsibility". :confused2: Maybe I should move on to Step 3, and start taking a good, long look at who I really am. Sometimes when I do that, I can finally deal with it. It's kinda like when I realized some of the major factors driving my compulsions, then my compulsive eating stopped being so much fun. And yet - I find myself not wanting to give up that part of me yet. I get something out of my compulsive eating I'm not quite willing to completely let go of yet. I crave the unconsciousness of it, the escape from my lousy life, the carb and sugar highs. I hate this disease. I hate the aloneness of it. I hate not feeling "normal". I hate being "broken". Most of all, I hate being fat. Hugs, Donna Compulsive Overeater

...you make a spaghetti dinner for the family, and all you eat is a small bowl of the sauce.

....when you are out to dinner with friends, and the kids are calling you on your cell phone to find out what you're bringing home for them!

...when you can kneel comfortably in church and not have to sit back against the pew.

HooBoy - can I relate to that, Fluffycat!!! You really sound like you are ready and motivated for your new lifestyle. YOU CAN DO IT :teeth_smile:

....when your 3-yr-old goddaughter has learned how to spit in the trash can, and her parents can't figure out where she learned THAT from...