:thumbup::confused2: O.K. here I go...I don't think I have seen either of these questions posted before...first of all let me tell ya I had no problem getting the surgery. I was all gungho for it.... now for my questions.

#1.) I have been fat all my life....I can't picture myself thin. I can't picture myself below 225. That was my lowest weight that I can remember since about the age of 13. I stayed with that weight until after my 2nd child was born. BUT...... I am all of the sudden scared out of my wits to be thin...anyone else have that problem?

#1.) When I do get to my goal weight and have to have ps to get rid of the lap (and my wings and thighs and whatever else I can aford) the pictures scares me of the surgery. The pain people talk about after.. anyone else.

Or am I just a big baby?

I know I will eventually have to get some sort of counsiling for my demons. I am self pay so I did'nt have to go thru everything insured people go thru.

Thanks for any input

I have been on both ends of the weight scale issue.. I use to be in my 120's and I've been almost 300 lbs... Since I know what it's like being thin, I never want to be that thin ever again. I hated it. Most women hate you.. they are jealous B_tches because you are a threat to them... men just want down your pants and they hover over you all the time smiling and trying to flirt with you... I hated it. I couldn't even go to the gas station without some guy blurting out stuff to me.. I think that's why I stayed big for so long. I loved it. It was safe. I didn't have to worry about mean women and pervert men.. But then my body just hurt all the time.. My overall goal is to get to like 150-170 lbs. Nice and in the middle for me... Healthy with my body shape and yet, nothing threatening to other women and not skinny enough for men in today's society to turn into crazy perverts.. But heck, if I got to 200 I'd be SUPER happy.. I wouldnt' care if I lost anymore after that. lol.

As for tummy tuck, I have no clue..

I feel the same way you do.

I have never been thin. I have always, even from early childhood, been overweight/obese. I don't know what its like to be thin. When I get there it will be a whole new world to me, but its one I'm definitely looking forward to. I just hope I don't have the bobble-head syndrome (lol!!).

I can't help with the PS, but I would encourage you to visit that forum. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't need it.

You are not alone...I have a feeling that this feeling is very it is pretty common. Just being aware of it will help.

I know what you are going through. I actually questioned myself before I had the surgery. Right now I am at 182, and I have not lost any weight for 5 months. I think I am doing it to myself on purpose. I really want to be thin, but there is a pull inside of me that is deathly afraid of it at the same time, so as I result I am self sabotaging so I stay at the same weight. I too am self pay, and I hate myself for what I have done, but I have to move forward and trust that everything is going to be okay. Two days ago I decided to have more disciple with my diet and exercise, and get back on track. So what I have done is set really same goals such as lose 3 pounds; that way I am not thinking about the final result. Just 3 pounds at a time. My mindset is different now; I am feeling better and less stressed. I am determined to lose 3 pounds. (After all I have a band how hard could that be?)

Good luck and hopefully we will both get though this very important life changing road block. We are strong women-Just remember that.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

oh man i am so worried that is exactly what i am doing to my self. I am terrified lol. I want to be thin so bad but i feel like i am just spinning around and around and i wonder if it is because i am scared about it. i do get that mind selt right before a fill like i need to eat it all now because maybe tomorrow i can't... so far the can't hasn't been a problem . I really feel like i just need to be filled clear up so i can't and get on with it. I can't be afraid anymore lol.

I can so relate to your post. My lapband journey happened so fast I found myself going from a 22 to an 8 in about 6 months. I hadn't been that thin...I think...ever. I didn't know this new person who kept getting all this attention. I got scared. I slowly started back the old eatting habits and found some new food addictions too. Now, I'm slowly crept back on 20 lbs. and 3 sizes. I'm scared like crazy. Did I waste my good precious money? Am I hopeless? Well, I decided it's got to stop. Today it's back to basics. I'm going back to liquids today. I need to purge my system of sugar, flour & oil. Plus I need to get my butt exercising. I was really proud of myself in the size 8 but scared. I need to work on why all the attention really bothered me.

SELF SABATOGE.

Ive been on both sides...and right now Im the biggest Ive ever been close to 300 lbs. 7 years ago I was 270 lbs and lost 70 lbs...the amount of attention was unbelievable. And like a couple of posters here I went back to my old eating. Now tho,,,I need to loose the weight,,,Im close to 40,,,my health is slipping,,,boarderline high BP, winded climbing stairs.

I know Im going to benefit from councilling...as I have already in the past.

I fully understand. Ive NEVER been thin, or even "normal" sized. I am completely freaked out about how things will change. I worry that my friends wont be my friends, my husband won't find me attractive, people will treat me differently. Its just the unknown - Im sure it will mean a better life for all of us!

Crystal - girl, I could have written your post. Although I was never 120 (maybe when I was 10 - lol). I had curves at an early age and had more of a Marilyn figure in high school (at 150 pounds). I received too much male attention. It made me really nervous. I should have been flattered, but I felt so insecure and self-conscious.

I had more male friends than female friends growing up too. I can honestly say I still only have a handful of female friends today. Females can be so backstabbing and petty. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and the women on here. We're just so much more complicated. Men are simple creatures.

I know that is one of the reasons for years I didn't even try to lose weight. My fat suit was my comfort blanket. It's weird now to start getting that attention again. It's not the level it was when I was 20 - thank goodness. I think I'm prepared for it now. Bring it on! Of course, I may be in counceling a year from now when I'm at goal dealing with all of the emotional issues...only time will tell.

Crystal - girl, I could have written your post. Although I was never 120 (maybe when I was 10 - lol). I had curves at an early age and had more of a Marilyn figure in high school (at 150 pounds). I received too much male attention. It made me really nervous. I should have been flattered, but I felt so insecure and self-conscious.

I had more male friends than female friends growing up too. I can honestly say I still only have a handful of female friends today. Females can be so backstabbing and petty. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and the women on here. We're just so much more complicated. Men are simple creatures.

I know that is one of the reasons for years I didn't even try to lose weight. My fat suit was my comfort blanket. It's weird now to start getting that attention again. It's not the level it was when I was 20 - thank goodness. I think I'm prepared for it now. Bring it on! Of course, I may be in counceling a year from now when I'm at goal dealing with all of the emotional issues...only time will tell.

Yep, I'm glad somebody knows how I feel. I'm scared to death that I'm going to lose my female friends.. my bigger ones. I went to a bridal shower yesterday and the two girls that are the rest of the wedding party are both over 300 and one of them didn't want to stand next to me because I made her "look fat" and another said I was getting too skinny.. Umm, I'm still in my 240's!! But to them, that is skinny my husband said. I dunno. It's already starting though. I have other banded friends who have lost a lot of their friends too. Hopefully they care enough about me to not care in the end what size I become. And I'm so scared about the men.. I remember when I was 200 lbs this guy at work said all this sexual stuff to me.. and I went into a room and cried.. it was then that I decided to pack on more and more weight because it was safe. I can't get into that mindset now. I'm happily married and hopefully this time around I can handle everything. It helps that I can talk to him about my feelings. And if friends are gonna dump me.. to hell with them.

Trust me, I know how you feel!

#1 I have been fat all my life too. I weighed more than I do now (207 lbs) than I did when I started middle school at 11 years old!! I have no idea what I will look like in the 100's and it has scared me to death, but I am really excited to find out!

#2 Just see what happens. You might have skin that sucks back up. I have skin that bothers me but it feels a hell of a lot better than being 100 lbs heavier!

You should seek out some counseling or do some self-study to deal with the emotional reasons you eat. I did a workbook that was really helpful called "don't diet, live it!" and it really helped me to understand why I reached for food, stuffing my emotions, etc.

You can do this! Good luck!!!

:thumbup::confused2: O.K. here I go...I don't think I have seen either of these questions posted before...first of all let me tell ya I had no problem getting the surgery. I was all gungho for it.... now for my questions.

#1.) I have been fat all my life....I can't picture myself thin. I can't picture myself below 225. That was my lowest weight that I can remember since about the age of 13. I stayed with that weight until after my 2nd child was born. BUT...... I am all of the sudden scared out of my wits to be thin...anyone else have that problem?

#1.) When I do get to my goal weight and have to have ps to get rid of the lap (and my wings and thighs and whatever else I can aford) the pictures scares me of the surgery. The pain people talk about after.. anyone else.

Or am I just a big baby?

I know I will eventually have to get some sort of counsiling for my demons. I am self pay so I did'nt have to go thru everything insured people go thru.

Thanks for any input

Thank you all for your comments. It has helped me tremendously. I know I will have to get counsiling, but that can wait for a little while. First I have to get down to 200. Then I will work on the inside as I work on the outside. Then I will maybe be complete about the same time as weight goal! A whole new me, inside and out!:thumbup: Have a blessed day everyone

This morning I took a picture of myself. I looked at it and thought, she is pretty. Whoa!!!!! Hold on here, I thought that I was pretty???? It didn't really even hit me that it was me for awhile.....and then when I realized what I thought, it made me cry. I have been so terribly bad to myself and my body, I hope that I can catch up to myself one day and realize that what I weigh does not equal pretty or smart.

All my friends are thin, and I am the fat one. I am excited to be able to share clothes, or just go shopping in the same store.

I have not been thin ever, but weighed about 135 in HS. I was still bigger (since I am 5'4") but was in the normal range more or less. I did not like guys shouting at me and hitting on me, which happened back then.

I don't know how I will deal with that as I get thin. I am only a little afraid, I am more excited, but know I will also need some counseling to get over the issues I do have about weight.