Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Strange reactions about surgery



Recommended Posts

After deciding to get surgery I received a few strange reactions and comments from some friends and family members. For example:

1. "That's just silly."

2. "You really don't have that much to lose."

And my personal favorite...

3. "Are you really prepared to eat less." :embaressed_smile: (Isn't that the point.)

What other strange, weird, or purely ignorant comments did you receive before getting your surgery?

Edited by dwrd73

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I love those reactions.

"Oh, why don't you work out with me; you don't have to do something so radical!"

"I had it in 1984 and only lost 30 lbs...and had all of these complications...the worst thing I ever did"--the person had stomach stapling

"You don't have that much to lose".

"OMG if you are fat, then I must be be really fat".

"Do you really know what you are getting into? People die from this"

All of these people do not realize that I have been on every diet, taken every diet pill (prescription and over the counter). I am a member of the YMCA and Curves, and I have researched and read everything I can get my hands on (I am a nurse and I have read some of the bariatric surgery text books.)

I have high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I am miserable, and it is all weight related.

I wasn't going to say anything to anyone in the first place, but I was so excited.

Oh well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First of all, those must be people who have never overweight or have never known the desperation that we have known over weight.

Secondly, those are all of my reasons for not telling anyone about getting the band. I have heard and seen people's reactions to others who have gotten the band and it is not pretty!

For me, not telling anybody is just going to be the easiest way. When I start back to school three days after my surgery and all of my teacher friends want to go out to lunch, I am going to fake an upset stomach or maybe I will be trying to get over food poison (God forbid!!).

anna

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My family is supportive except my sister said I have failed before so why would I not fail now. I could not believe that one. Everything that people said to you I heard as well. Some people know but not all because some so call friends can be so negative with out even really knowing they are. I went to my support group last week and someone came up with a brillant thing to say when people start to question what have you been doing to lose weight. She says I watch what I eat carefully. I exercise alot. And yes I had weight loss surgery. She said say it in that order because once someone hears you have had surgery they think you took the easy way out. But in fact it is one the hardest things you will do. I am exactly 13 days post op and I can tell you I have to work at doing all the things I need to do:smile:.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, I love those reactions.

"Oh, why don't you work out with me; you don't have to do something so radical!"

"I had it in 1984 and only lost 30 lbs...and had all of these complications...the worst thing I ever did"--the person had stomach stapling

"You don't have that much to lose".

"OMG if you are fat, then I must be be really fat".

"Do you really know what you are getting into? People die from this"

All of these people do not realize that I have been on every diet, taken every diet pill (prescription and over the counter). I am a member of the YMCA and Curves, and I have researched and read everything I can get my hands on (I am a nurse and I have read some of the bariatric surgery text books.)

I have high blood pressure and sleep apnea. I am miserable, and it is all weight related.

I wasn't going to say anything to anyone in the first place, but I was so excited.

Oh well!

LMAO:lol: OMG!!!! 1984 LOL LOL LOL

but i like how people think that maybe we haven't tried hard enough!!! that irks me the most! it's like i didn't decided today, you know what, hmmm, i'm fat, let me look into surgery...its like they think we're irrational...i guess cause many people havent been on the journey with us...atkins, 3 day diets, grapefruit diets, ww, low fat, more exercise, now multiply those by 1,000,000 ok thats how many times i've tried all those, its not an impulse its my last resort, trust me, i am scared to death of being put under for the proceedure, i'm more scared of being a very young person with a heart attack, my yo-yo dieting is affecting my health!

so yes some of my favorite comments are

1...come walking with me ( cause for some reason, being fat means you've never exercised before, and we've never thought to exercise)

2. i like you the way you are (what!!!!)

3. do you know what your getting into i had a friend/cousin, someone who knew somebody who knew somebody that knew somebody that had it and...... (story ends with results not being good) and usually...um there not even talking about lap band

4. "have you heard of alli my sister says it works well" um yeah alli, phentermine, xenadrin, dexatrim...who ever, been there done that

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have paid for this surgery 4 times over if you count all of the money I have spent on diets...remember the "cabbage Soup diet" or the "mayo clinic" diet...yeah, I lost wt, but I gained back even more!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally understand. I think most people are not educated on the Lap Band yet and so they give their opinions on what they know about other weight loss surgeries that we all know may not be as safe or effective.

The one I love, that came from a skinny person was, "why don't you just eat less?"

Luckily I have had many supportive family and friends. It helps to educate them.

Good Luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My fiance was my worst critic. I had been researching my options and had thought about the for over 3 yrs. When I finally decided he pretended to be supportive until I actually started making appointments.

He said most of the same things mentioned above, plus he told me I just needed to be more disciplined. He had gotten us gym memberships last year because he said he wanted us to workout together. Only thing is he never wanted to go. He is super slender anyway and didn't really need to. So he had all these ugly things to say to me even though he knew personally of my struggles to lose weight.

Get this, he even told me the morning of my surgery that he couldn't handle any of this and basically wanted to end our relationship. When I said I was going to get banded anyway, he reluctantly went along.

The only good thing is now he is my best supporter and glad I went ahead and didn't listen to him he keeps me on track and tries very hard to be helpful. When I am in pain, he never wants says, "well you asked for it". like I expected.

I do hate the constant questioning from those I did tell about my surgery. Everyone wants to know on a daily basis, if I have lost more weight and how much. That gets old.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i went to my parents for dinner last night and i made a comment that i was hungry. my mom asked "isn't that why you had the surgery... so you wouldn't BE hungry?"

duh... everybody gets hungry eventually!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

:thumbup:Unfortunately, I am not a very private person so I told a lot of people. Thank goodness most were supportive. And when an old aquaintance said "Can't you die from that?" I boldly said, I am happy about my decision just be excited for me. She changed her tune quickly. I agree, when we run into negativity we have to combat it immediately and with authority. Most of the people who say those comments have never been fat, haven't struggled with every diet imaginable and don't have the health issues we have. TRUST ME.... being banded is NOT the easy way out. It is major surgery and a complete lifestyle change for both you and your family. None of us made this decision lightly. I am just glad I have found a place here to support and be supported by others and that my family and true friends have been very excited for me and support me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm so glad i'm not alone in this. I've heard the "your not that overweight" comment so many times. Hello I'm 255lbs, how can you not see i'm overweight. My hubby is overweight too, he is struggling with me doing this without him. He thinks I will leave him. NO WAY! I married for life! Good luck to you. We will get through this together.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favorite line..."Oh, I wouldnt want do that! Wouldnt you rather do it naturally?" I didnt ask you to do it and I'm not doing it for you! I'm doing it for me and I've been trying for 12 years to do it "naturally" it hasnt worked! enough said. This is why I dont tell anyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Mine was "well dont you think if you just exercised and ate less that you could do it on your own" My reply was well dont you think I have already tried that for years. and then they would say "well have u really tried it and how long did u stick with it"

irks me so bad.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My favorite comments are;

1. You are not that big! (Thanks I'm only a little big!):blush:

2. You just need to exercise more! (Ok):confused2:

3. Guys like girls with curves, why do you want to get rid of those? (Can somebody introduce me to those guys????):eek:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ChunkCat

      I have no clue where to upload this, so I'll put it here. This is pre-op vs the morning of my 6 month appointment! In office I weight 232, that's 88 lbs down since my highest weight, 75 lbs since my surgery weight! I can't believe this jacket fit... I am smaller now than the last time I was this size which the surgeon found really amusing. He's happy with where I am in my weight loss and estimates I'll be around 200 lbs by my 1 year anniversary! My lowest weight as an adult is 195, so that's pretty damn exciting to think I'll be near that at a year. Everything from there will be unknown territory!!

      · 1 reply
      1. AmberFL

        You look amazing!!! 😻 you have been killing it!

    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×