Come out of the band failure closet!

[brandyII 9]

Kat,

I think that might help but what would really help, although I love them dearly, is if the two dds were to move out!!!!

Tight living quarters....................

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I did give the details on another thread. Here are all the details. I got an email from some company saying they would give me a 3 month subscription to match.com if I tried their face cream. It was $50 . I wanted to try it since it said it "hid those fine lines" so I bought it. Then this guy contacted me which surprised me cause I refused to post a picture. I said our town is too small to have a picture plastered on the internet.

We emailed back and forth for a few weeks, then talked on the phone for a few weeks. Then he invited me to lunch, and the rest is history!

We have seen each other every day since then. I asked my trainer at the gym if I should check the "few extra lbs" box when it asked my body shape. He said "hell no!" NSV! I never would have had the nerve to even put a profile up there if it weren't for the band! I finally had the nerve to tell him about the band. He is very health conscience. He said he was impressed that I cared enough about my health to have surgery.

And I love the face cream too!

I know this is not the place and sorry for thread hijacking, but you asked for details and now you have the full story!

Edited June 18, 2008 by Oregondaisy

[brandyII 9]

When you're happy in love it's ok to hijack any thread, you go girl!!!:smile2:

And what was that face cream, must be good!!!

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

It's called hyrdoderm. It's got collegen in it.

[kimaly 57]

I hope no one takes this as being mean but I've been reading your post, Maybe you could go back and read over your own post and you'll see what others are seeing.I think you have issues that run way deeper then the band. I've never seen such a self pitty party. You don't leave any room for anyone to feel your pain as you are so into poor me. in an earleir post you mentioned going to see a shrink(no offence intended) about why you can't lose weight maybe it would be better to talk to them about why you can't love yourself or why it's poor me so much. I'm a large women, wouldn't be here if I wasn't. But I really like the person I am if I wasn't me I would want to be my friend LoL point being work on that self esteem and maybe you'll gain a better insight. wishing you all the best my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[brandyII 9]

I hope no one takes this as being mean but I've been reading your post, Maybe you could go back and read over your own post and you'll see what others are seeing.I think you have issues that run way deeper then the band. I've never seen such a self pitty party. You don't leave any room for anyone to feel your pain as you are so into poor me. in an earleir post you mentioned going to see a shrink(no offence intended) about why you can't lose weight maybe it would be better to talk to them about why you can't love yourself or why it's poor me so much. I'm a large women, wouldn't be here if I wasn't. But I really like the person I am if I wasn't me I would want to be my friend LoL point being work on that self esteem and maybe you'll gain a better insight. wishing you all the best my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thanks for your professional advise, I find you charming as well:thumbup:

[BJean 16]

kimaly, not to question your honesty and sincerity, but if you are a woman who is really happy with herself and cares about herself (no pity parties for you, huh?) why are you so fat that you need a Lap Band?

Just wondering.....

[Kat817 19]

I don't know, but I think it is possible to be happy with oneself, and still acknowledge that losing weight is what would be best for your own health.

My sense of self before surgery, was not wonderful---I was ashamed of how I looked---but I liked the PERSON I was before losing weight. I was kind to others, I was an honest person, a loving wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister and friend. I still strive to be the same---those qualities do not hinge on size.

There were days my weight depressed me, mostly when I realized something else I was unable to do (ride my bike or horse, or play on the floor with the kids kind of things). But as a general rule, I was a happy person.

It is the old glass half full vs. glass half empty. I had "full" days way more often than "empty" days. I still do, but even at an almost normal weight, I do still have the occasional empty day.

You have to choose to be happy....regardless of size, and if you cannot make that decision, regardless of size, then maybe it is time to evaluate and decide how you can make yourself able to choose to be happy, or seek professional help to do so..... providing that is what you strive to be.

I read this recently in a Ladies Home Journal article---it is a story about a Cherokee elder talking with his grandson. He is telling him about the battle that goes on inside people's heads. He said the battle is between two 'wolves' that live inside us all. One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self pity, resentment, and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then ask his grandfather---"which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply answered......The one you feed.

Too often we ourselves are the ones feeding the wrong wolf. We have to feed the wolf regardless of our size.....we just need to make a concious choice of which one to feed I believe.

Kat

Edited June 22, 2008 by Kat817
a duh moment!!!

[taz 2]

I agree that a person can affect his/her mood or outlook by becoming aware of negative messages that they tell themselves. To a degree. After that I think life experiences can be very difficult and even overwhelming at times. A situation which has one person hardly breaking a sweat can almost immobilize another.

Judging someone with our own life experiences can sometimes be iffy. Is someone having family or job struggles? Are financial struggles being felt? Perhaps a child is sick. Stating how another person should be without fully understanding their situation can sometimes be unfair. If things could be fixed by someones criticizing we would all be fixed....and not a one of us would ever be overweight.

We judge by our experiences to this point. We also don't know for sure we will be able to keep our weight off in the future. We hopefully have a better tool but we all have lost weight and been determined it would never come back. My mom always told be not to criticize because crow isn't an easy thing to eat. Hopefully we will all lose weight and be able to keep it off no matter what life throws at us. Good luck everyone.

Tina

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

kimaly, not to question your honesty and sincerity, but if you are a woman who is really happy with herself and cares about herself (no pity parties for you, huh?) why are you so fat that you need a Lap Band?

Just wondering.....

Health reasons? I can think of lots of reasons.

[Jachut 487]

kimaly, not to question your honesty and sincerity, but if you are a woman who is really happy with herself and cares about herself (no pity parties for you, huh?) why are you so fat that you need a Lap Band?

Just wondering.....

Are you serious? Or are you thinking "what you said pissed me off so I'm going to just say somthing snippy, no matter how stupid it is"?

Seriously BJ, that's a really idiotic thing to say.

That's right up there with the "if I could do that I wouldnt need a lapband" line of thinking.

Edited June 22, 2008 by Jachut

[kimaly 57]

kimaly, not to question your honesty and sincerity, but if you are a woman who is really happy with herself and cares about herself (no pity parties for you, huh?) why are you so fat that you need a Lap Band?

Just wondering.....

I'm happy with the type of person I am you know the important part(what's on the inside) Little info 4 u not all people are fat because we're unhappy some of us have just enjoyed our lives a little to much And I said happy with who I am not with who I was It took me a long time to get to where i'm at and now my body just needs to catch up. hope.

[kimaly 57]

Kat817 pretty well explains it. she's just a little more elegant then i am. maybe you will understand it better if you read her post. not everything is a personal attack, I'm speaking from life experance. theres always that one person everyone knows them: the I can't people and they are the ones that never do because they're to busy comming up with the negitives in things instead of trying or working hard enough to get what they really want. I will try to pull someone out of it but I WILL NOT buy into it. sorry if my opinions bother some people in that case just skip my post

[KatW 0]

I don't know, but I think it is possible to be happy with oneself, and still acknowledge that losing weight is what would be best for your own health.

My sense of self before surgery, was not wonderful---I was ashamed of how I looked---but I liked the PERSON I was before losing weight. I was kind to others, I was an honest person, a loving wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister and friend. I still strive to be the same---those qualities do not hinge on size.

There were days my weight depressed me, mostly when I realized something else I was unable to do (ride my bike or horse, or play on the floor with the kids kind of things). But as a general rule, I was a happy person.

It is the old glass half full vs. glass half empty. I had "full" days way more often than "empty" days. I still do, but even at an almost normal weight, I do still have the occasional empty day.

You have to choose to be happy....regardless of size, and if you cannot make that decision, regardless of size, then maybe it is time to evaluate and decide how you can make yourself able to choose to be happy, or seek professional help to do so..... providing that is what you strive to be.

I read this recently in a Ladies Home Journal article---it is a story about a Cherokee elder talking with his grandson. He is telling him about the battle that goes on inside people's heads. He said the battle is between two 'wolves' that live inside us all. One is Unhappiness. It is fear, worry, anger, jealousy, sorrow, self pity, resentment, and inferiority. The other is Happiness. It is joy, love, hope, serenity, kindness, generosity, truth and compassion.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then ask his grandfather---"which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply answered......The one you feed.

Too often we ourselves are the ones feeding the wrong wolf. We have to feed the wolf regardless of our size.....we just need to make a concious choice of which one to feed I believe.

Kat

Kat, This is the other Kat. I think from now on when I want to say something, I will refer them to you. You say it so much better than I do. I don't know where I read the indian story, but I think about it all the time! It has helped me so much when examining my motives for doing something.

[BJean 16]

I loved your post Kat817 - as usual. And I thought your post was very insightful taz. We would all do well do read them and learn from them.

Yes, I was very put off by kimaly's remarks to Brandy. And yes, I was trying to make her think a little more about what she said. I do realize that it is not my job to do that. And Kat817 and taz certainly did it so much better than I did. But the heat that has been put on Brandy when she has been posting from her heart and has been willing to put her feelings out here is really insensitive as far as I am concerned and uncalled for.

I know some of you think that hitting someone in the head (like you "coulda had a V8" or slapping you because you "think you're important" - as we've seen in a couple of current TV commericals) is really cool. I do not think that loving someone that tough is appropriate and I sure don't think it's cool.

Now kat and taz... they're way cool.

P.S. Some of you seem to think tough love is only good for you to do. It's not so good when I do it, huh? You might think about why successful tough love sessions are done by FAMILIES under the guidance of a professional, or in professional counseling sessions.