Come out of the band failure closet!

[BJean 16]

Geeezoman! I am so happy that some of youse guys can read what I post and actually get what I'm feelin! I just hate the fact that I can't sum everything up in a couple of lines. I do not like that it takes me so long to say stuff.

The admiration goes both ways. I'm getting to know some of you newer bandsters and I'm really liking you a lot. For a while there was a whole lotta teeth gnashing going on at LBT.

I honestly do appreciate the kind words directed my way. Thanks.

[BJean 16]

Wasa: I actually do believe in tough love. I just think we need to understand the feedback we're getting and if it is not having the intended/expected results, we need to change our direction. It absolutely is not the best help you can give someone who is fragile and who is trying.

Btw, Wasa, I'm curious... why did you have to have the sleeve put in and the band taken out?

[Froggi 4]

she posted this in a earlier post forget which one it was.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Wasa: I actually do believe in tough love. I just think we need to understand the feedback we're getting and if it is not having the intended/expected results, we need to change our direction. It absolutely is not the best help you can give someone who is fragile and who is trying.

Btw, Wasa, I'm curious... why did you have to have the sleeve put in and the band taken out?

yeah, I kinda think we have to agree to disagree on this point. When someone responds to tough love with redirection and manipulation, I'm happy because they are getting the point.

I had my band removed because it was an evil little buggar that was named "Spawn of Satan" for a reason. ;o)

It was causing permanent damage to my esophagus. Here are details:

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/wasabubblebutt-recovery-65353/

This explains why I had it removed and how a sleeve works.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

It's really too bad the band doesn't work in our brains. But there is medicine for that. WASa came up with a good explanation. Some of us

have OCD when it comes to food. I know I do.

[KatW 0]

I dont get why you think its vitriolic? There's certainly no feeling like that from my end, its more frustration that she just cant see the negative through processes. If I didnt give a toss about people achieving their goals, I just wouldnt bother.

The way I see it BrandyII's problem is the number one problem you see on this board - people just utterly unable to really allow themselves to change, stuck in destructive behaviours and thought processes. They reach out for help, but real help does NOT come in the form of commiserations and justifications, real help can feel like a slap in the face.

Brandy may have had a point, that she just wants to be able to vent about it all without people's advice and help, and that's fair enough, rants and raves is probably not the best place for that however, because people assume you're inviting debate.

I dont think this thread was at all vitriolic. Certainly not compared to some of the threads in this forum!

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I had surgery on Friday, so I was out of the loop. WHy vitriol? I don't think that I was speaking of anyone in particular- just comenting on my own perception of the thread. I agree that this is not as bad as other threads I have read on this board. I was focusing more on my perception that an individual had been very hurt by some (in my perception only) hurtful comments. I also think that I have a perception that debate need not be so agressive and personal always. I am sorry if how I phrased my comments bothered you. They were really not meant to excite more debate but to offers some support from another corner. That was all.

KatW

[brandyII 9]

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I had surgery on Friday, so I was out of the loop. WHy vitriol? I don't think that I was speaking of anyone in particular- just comenting on my own perception of the thread. I agree that this is not as bad as other threads I have read on this board. I was focusing more on my perception that an individual had been very hurt by some (in my perception only) hurtful comments. I also think that I have a perception that debate need not be so agressive and personal always. I am sorry if how I phrased my comments bothered you. They were really not meant to excite more debate but to offers some support from another corner. That was all.

KatW

Hope you're doing well Kat after the surgery and thanks for your support I really appreciate it considering we are fairly new to each other's posts here! brandyII:smile:

[brandyII 9]

It's really too bad the band doesn't work in our brains. But there is medicine for that. WASa came up with a good explanation. Some of us

have OCD when it comes to food. I know I do.

I guess it's kind of like when someone tells you not to think about purple giraffes and all you think about is purple giraffes.

I know my self esteem has been low ever since I was a pudgy child and even thin it was still low and at the wonderful age of 48 I'm starting to realize the negative affects my poor self esteem has helped me make a lot of bad choices in my life. I've also lucked out in a lot of other aspects but I still have lots of room for improvement.

By taking the focus off my band, off the diet, off the negatives and focusing on making positive changes toward having a better self worth I can only be better off in the long run. As in most people in my family "I think too much", lol and it's got it's good points and bad! brandyII.:cursing:

[brandyII 9]

I hope we have moved on from the tell BrandyII how weak she is thread. After reading all those posts I was so disgusted I just turned off the computer and thought about how self righteous people can be. Telling her to go and knit or make sure she has a great exercise program, or worse yet "make those great choices" is

despicable.

If the people who made those comments could do that themselves they surely would not have needed a band or any WLS.

I belong to a support group for bandsters with about 200 folks, and there are many of us in many shapes and sizes and at different places in our journeys. Our main goal is to be supportive and cheer on the people we have this band bond with.

Never have I heard this type of bashing in all my years banded.

Here's the thing, if you have proper adjustments you will not feel hunger and cravings. Not EVERYONE can get to that point. And the struggle is the same as BEFORE you were banded, get it?? Can you remember how you felt?

But to heap shame on those that have tried everything plus, is just plain ignorant.

Take it from me we have enough shame, guilt, etc. We came here to say how we feel, not needing an "it's ok", but not needed crap like I am giving you tough love either, what a crock of crap.

Why didn't that tough love, knitting, exercising work for you all?

You should be ashamed of kicking someone when they are down. I hope you never find yourself in that spot and have these rotten things written to you.

Give someone a "kick in the butt", are you kidding me? Maybe whoever wrote that should have done that to herself and then she wouldn't have needed WLS??

BrandyII, please go and talk to your band surgeon. Sometimes the placement is off, but it might be hard to get them to admit that.

One of my friends was banded by the Dr. who helped invent the band, and she had to have rebanding, and now is doing beautifully after many years of struggling.

Good Luck (and know you are not alone)

Cookie

Thanks Cookie,

That was very nice of you. I'm not the type of person who responds well to attacks and well who the heck does? We all have a breaking point where we just blow and can't take it anymore.

It takes me a while to get things right and if I'm not getting something right I reach out for feedback and this being the lap band talk forum I found it to be the best place to reach out to others and see if there were others out there who were having similar issues.

Some took it as I was just not exercising enough and eating around the band and others took me as a lap band hater. I found my depression to have a profound influence in my life and tended to use food as a comfort. I had a hard time replacing that comfort with something positive. I also genetically have always been a bit pudgy but the yo yo dieting tended to make me bigger and bigger and so that was not helping. Since the band my diabetes got worse and I ended up with high cholesterol for the first time in my life.

So putting it all together this was not a good mix and I felt like a failure because I went through all of this and ended up more depressed and more unhealthy than I ever have been in my life. There was something keeping me from becoming healthy from the inside out and having been fed negatives about myself all my life and then the fear of more negatives because of my "failure attempt at banding" I felt more like crap and then one day it seemed I was getting it from all ends and POOF I blew, but it also was "knock on wood" a turning point for me to seek out health from the inside out and work my way to a healthier opinion of myself and also in turn have a healthier body and mind.

I think we all come here to help ourselves in one way or another. We need this validation somehow and also by helping others we find a great feeling and it also helps how we relate to ourselves in a positive light. I think some people who tend to write a bit too much about themselves can be seen as annoying to others and feel that an attack is in order. It's not something we can control just how we deal with it is the important thing. If we're attacked here on a thread and don't take it personally then we're doing well!

Anyway I've written way too much on the matter and hope that all do well and find what works for us and thanks to all out there that have helped me in my journey I really, really appreciate it. Only you really know what it's like we have that in common even if we all didn't start out the same or end the same we're all pretty much looking for the band to help us in our journey for health, thanks brandyII.:cursing:

[plain 12]

Plain, I copied this from a previous post of yours.

"There are a lot of militants on OH, though. I still don't really get it." Not to be ignorant, but what is OH?

OH = obesityhelp.com.....If you want to be entertained, take a stroll over and check it out. It's difficult to navigate at first. The best (most bizarre) posts seem to be in the DS forum.

[Froggi 4]

lol I checked it out today and there were some very detailed posts about bowel movements.

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

I don't like that site because it's set up weird. LBT is so much better. I go there if I am bored out of my mind, but lately I am too busy falling in love and don't have the time.

As I said on another thread- Thank You BAND!

[*susan* 1,709]

Denise, stop teasing us already. That is twice you have mentioned being busy falling in love. You are going to have to give us details soon!!!

[brandyII 9]

I think it's easier to lose weight on the band if you're in a "falling in love" phase or a just divorce phase or a looking for a prospective partner phase. It's harder on us been married 26 year people!!!!:tongue:

[Kat817 19]

One thing about that BII is even after 26 years----when it begins to work, everything feels new again, and that in and of itself is incentive!

My DH and I have many years behind us too----but this has revitalised us in many ways! Not just sexually--although that is great too---but I actually feel like going and doing things, and the more I do, the more I want to do. I am not hiding from life any more, and he benefits from that as well as I do----therefore the marriage benefits.

Finding yourself able to do all the things you used to when you were young and falling in love, after years of obesity, is a very similar feeling----even better, because the fear of the unknown is gone.

It took years, and a lot of work, but it was worth it all.....I am liking discovering the new me....and the new us!

When you find the right combo for you and your band....you'll see, those 26 years will fade into newness again!

Kat