Beating Myself Up

[AmberFL 231]

I am 7 weeks post op and have done well, I’m down 36lbs from surgery day. I stick to my calories, and Protein. Carbs and fat go over some days. I walk 5days a week 35-50min a day. I meal prep and wait to drink 30min after my meals, but this weekend I just folded and I feel like I derailed my progress! I am really beating myself up right now. I had an event yesterday, there was nothing besides fruit that I “could” eat. Everything was vegan. I had a bite of each thing and took the rest home to my husband. I drank tea while eating, I felt so back into my old ways. So this morning I told myself I was going to just start fresh. It was a busy day, I had a banana for bfast, then for late lunch we went to a burger joint I got a grilled chicken patty with bacon, added veggies on top. I ate half of it about 2.5oz I suspect, then ate 2 fries and half of a small onion ring. I just feel so nauseated now and I feel like I was my old self getting back into old habits and indulging instead of stay strong.

I just needed to confess my weekend.

[FifiLux 99]

Don't let this make you feel bad as it will only stress you out.

We all have days where we have a little slip and that was all this is a little slip, you just start anew today

Next time you have an event just be prepared and bring something with you that you can eat, that way you won't be hungry and hopefully not tempted by the goodies. That is what I have to do as tomorrow my company has its Christmas lunch (yes I know it is March) and there is nothing on the menu of the restaurant that I can eat as either fish which I am allergic to or not such great choices. I have already told my boss that the menu isn't suitable for me (she knows about my op) and that I will not eat with them but have a drink instead during the meal.

[NickelChip 748]

You had surgery almost 50 days ago, and your worst "transgression" is one instance of drinking tea with your food and consuming 2 fries and half a small onion ring? I have a feeling if past you could see this, she would not see much resemblance to herself.

If eating those things felt triggering, like you're afraid it will be a slippery slope to undoing all the changes you're making, that's definitely something to work through, either on your own or with a therapist. I totally get that fear.

But the hardest mindset shift, I think, is to realize we're not on a diet. This is life. Carb counts and Protein goals and fat limits and daily calories are helpful guidelines to be mindful of, but they aren't laws that must be followed 100% of the time or else. Instead of beating yourself up, congratulate yourself on being more than halfway to your weight goal! And next time you have an event, decide ahead of time how to handle it if there's nothing there you can eat so you can go in feeling confident you won't have a slip.

[April J. 3]

Girl do not beat yourself up over this! If it feels like a trigger for you then stay away from those items however two french fries and an onion ring are not going to kill you. The grease from them may make you feel yucky but eating just those two things every once in a while isn't going to cause weight gain. Keep with your program and follow your head, not those sneaky stomachs!

[BigSue 1,320]

If you have access to therapy, this is something that would be good to address because this mindset of guilt and shame is neither healthy nor productive. I know that not everyone can get therapy, but there are other resources available. Perhaps your clinic has a support group you can join. I highly recommend the podcast, “We Only Look Thin,” which has a lot of great advice relating to mindset.

The bottom line is that no single meal is going to make you regain 36 pounds. Beating yourself up over it isn’t going to accomplish anything. You’re new to post-WLS eating and still learning, so learn for next time. Recognize that you weren’t prepared for the event not having food that meets your needs and learn to be prepared next time. Maybe keep a “just in case” Protein Bar in your car. One of my strategies for an unknown food situation is bringing my own Skinny Girl Salad Dressing and/or a couple of low-carb tortillas, so I can make a salad or wrap out of what’s available. Also, nowadays people are pretty sensitive about dietary restrictions and won’t be offended if you ask what will be served and even request a special meal if you’re comfortable (though I understand not wanting to call attention to your diet).

Having an all-or-nothing mindset where you equate two fries and half an onion ring to failure is really harmful. You made a couple of decisions, in seven whole weeks, that weren’t on track. That’s not going to derail all of your progress. There’s no reason you can’t continue to stay on track aside from those isolated instances. This is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t quit the race just because your shoe came untied once or twice.

[summerseeker 1,863]

As the people above have said you have done great. You had a taste, we all do. Its not an issue if you do not let it become a landslide. Now that I am over 2 years out, I do not want these foods. They taste awful to me, thank you new taste buds and the foamies.

It takes a while to not be in the Diet mentality anymore. We are not on a diet, we are just eating to live. We have no reason to feel guilt anymore. Would some therapy help you?

[ms.sss 14,739]

shame spirals are the worst.

NOBODY is perfect and beating oneself up for not being perfect is, when u think about it, pretty nuts.

...and EVERYBODY is nuts 😂😂😂

press the continue button and try again.

p.s. you will probably have multiple try agains in your future (we all do/did). just keep going ❤️

[AmberFL 231]

1 hour ago, NickelChip said:

You had surgery almost 50 days ago, and your worst "transgression" is one instance of drinking tea with your food and consuming 2 fries and half a small onion ring? I have a feeling if past you could see this, she would not see much resemblance to herself.

If eating those things felt triggering, like you're afraid it will be a slippery slope to undoing all the changes you're making, that's definitely something to work through, either on your own or with a therapist. I totally get that fear.

But the hardest mindset shift, I think, is to realize we're not on a diet. This is life. Carb counts and Protein goals and fat limits and daily calories are helpful guidelines to be mindful of, but they aren't laws that must be followed 100% of the time or else. Instead of beating yourself up, congratulate yourself on being more than halfway to your weight goal! And next time you have an event, decide ahead of time how to handle it if there's nothing there you can eat so you can go in feeling confident you won't have a slip.

"Not a Diet" this has been the hardest mindset for me! I may need to see a therapist, because I keep telling myself "once I get to my goal, I can start indulging here and there, but till then I need to restrict myself" It is just a lot of trauma that has been resurfacing lately and when I ate those things so many thoughts started flooding back. Writing it out to you wonderful people is helping.

I appreciate it! I am really pleased where I am at! I can do this!

[AmberFL 231]

1 hour ago, April J. said:

Girl do not beat yourself up over this! If it feels like a trigger for you then stay away from those items however two french fries and an onion ring are not going to kill you. The grease from them may make you feel yucky but eating just those two things every once in a while isn't going to cause weight gain. Keep with your program and follow your head, not those sneaky stomachs!

I have finally felt better this morning after having my RXbar. Last night was awful. They were so good in my mouth when I was chewing them lol!

[AmberFL 231]

5 hours ago, FifiLux said:

Don't let this make you feel bad as it will only stress you out.

We all have days where we have a little slip and that was all this is a little slip, you just start anew today

Next time you have an event just be prepared and bring something with you that you can eat, that way you won't be hungry and hopefully not tempted by the goodies. That is what I have to do as tomorrow my company has its Christmas lunch (yes I know it is March) and there is nothing on the menu of the restaurant that I can eat as either fish which I am allergic to or not such great choices. I have already told my boss that the menu isn't suitable for me (she knows about my op) and that I will not eat with them but have a drink instead during the meal.

When I woke up, I told myself today is a new day. Eat things that you know you like and wont make you feel yuck! so as you said "Starting a new day!"

[Lily2024 116]

I'm 10 weeks post op and I did eat a fry, just one, and I liked it a lot. I've also eaten a small piece of Pizza Crust and my body doesn't tolerate gluten. Both times I was ok, but I'm afraid to try any more than that. Which is just the way it should be I think. I've had times when I felt voracious, ate more than usual, felt bad about it, then realized I just ate 1/10th of what I would eat previously. It's ok. For those times that I may not find anything to eat and I'm out and about, I keep roasted soynuts (The only bean comes in .9 oz packets, fits in any purse and is very satisfying) or Protein Bars with me.

Just saying, I haven't learned all this from the surgery, I've been on very restricted diets for a long time due to GI issues, where it was unlikely I would find something I could eat outside my house. Clearly I wasn't restricting the quantities, just the specifics.

[BlondePatriotInCDA 232]

11 hours ago, AmberFL said:

I am 7 weeks post op and have done well, I’m down 36lbs from surgery day. I stick to my calories, and Protein. Carbs and fat go over some days. I walk 5days a week 35-50min a day. I meal prep and wait to drink 30min after my meals, but this weekend I just folded and I feel like I derailed my progress! I am really beating myself up right now. I had an event yesterday, there was nothing besides fruit that I “could” eat. Everything was vegan. I had a bite of each thing and took the rest home to my husband. I drank tea while eating, I felt so back into my old ways. So this morning I told myself I was going to just start fresh. It was a busy day, I had a banana for bfast, then for late lunch we went to a burger joint I got a grilled chicken patty with bacon, added veggies on top. I ate half of it about 2.5oz I suspect, then ate 2 fries and half of a small onion ring. I just feel so nauseated now and I feel like I was my old self getting back into old habits and indulging instead of stay strong.

I just needed to confess my weekend.

You need to ask yourself; would "I" have eaten more fries, hamburger etc., before surgery than I did this time? If the answer is "yes" than there is no need to beat yourself up over this. The surgery is working as intended both physically and mentally.

1. You ate poorly = you feel poorly +

2. You ate what you shouldn't have and you're aware you did and felt guilty for it and did a self correction! +

= surgery working as intended!

I do understand the "slippery slope" feelings, we all feel that if we "cheat," but its not going to happen if you're aware it exists and put on the breaks. We're human and things we used to eat taste good, we can't live a entire life depriving ourselves, an occasional small side track off our track to better healthy eating will happen - just so it doesn't become an every day thing its fine!

[Spinoza 1,194]

Lots of good advice here. I do love this forum - between us we have hundreds of years of lived experience of WLS. So little judgement and so much sharing of wisdom. 😍