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Having trouble with pre-surgery weight loss (TW negative feelings)



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Hi! I'm at the beginning of the process for the gastric sleeve. At the beginning because I have yet to lose any of the weight I have to for the surgery. When I decided to have the surgery, I started tracking my food and I lost about 6 lbs...then as soon as the process started and it became a "have-to" thing, I started having a super hard time sticking to the diet. That, and I hit a bout of depression which makes it really, really hard to control sugar cravings.

I'm in therapy for other reasons, but I don't have an appointment with their therapist until January. I'm having enough trouble sticking with the diet that I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to be able to do this. I feel so resentful that I have to diet. I know, I know, it's "not a diet, it's a lifestyle change". It's a diet. I have to give up most of my favorite foods for most of the time, and when I do have them I can barely have anything. I call that a diet. I know it's my fault and I got myself here, but that doesn't help, it just makes the whole thing feel more like a punishment. Did anyone else struggle with any of this? How did you overcome this thinking?

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4 minutes ago, Theia103121 said:

Hi! I'm at the beginning of the process for the gastric sleeve. At the beginning because I have yet to lose any of the weight I have to for the surgery. When I decided to have the surgery, I started tracking my food and I lost about 6 lbs...then as soon as the process started and it became a "have-to" thing, I started having a super hard time sticking to the diet. That, and I hit a bout of depression which makes it really, really hard to control sugar cravings.

I'm in therapy for other reasons, but I don't have an appointment with their therapist until January. I'm having enough trouble sticking with the diet that I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to be able to do this. I feel so resentful that I have to diet. I know, I know, it's "not a diet, it's a lifestyle change". It's a diet. I have to give up most of my favorite foods for most of the time, and when I do have them I can barely have anything. I call that a diet. I know it's my fault and I got myself here, but that doesn't help, it just makes the whole thing feel more like a punishment. Did anyone else struggle with any of this? How did you overcome this thinking?

You’re right, it is a long term diet (or lifestyle) that doesn’t have an end date and for most of us it will be restrictive.
Some people have no issue with this, some need to work a little harder to come to terms with it and some never comply.

My only suggestion would be to work on accepting your new diet/lifestyle well ahead of surgery or you might just rebel against the rules your team set up (for your benefit) because you’re being forced to do them rather than choosing on your own.

I don’t think anyone really likes being forced to do anything so I completely understand where you’re coming from.
Good Luck! ❤️

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It may help you, like it has for me, to focus on adding good habits as much or more as taking away your bad habits. When I first talked to my doctor about bariatric surgery, I spent several weeks cleaning out all the items in my pantry and freezer that I knew were not doing good things for me. Things like snack foods and highly processed stuff, and anything I know I will binge eat, like pretzels or chocolate. I also bought some WLS books, including A Pound of Cure from Dr. Matthew Weiner. I read through all his steps for changing your diet and figured out the easiest ones for me to do and started there. For example, I'm not a big fan of artificial sweetener, and Diet Coke was the only thing I was really doing that broke that "rule," so it was pretty easy for me to make the cut. Same with adding a pound of vegetable per day. That change alone has made a lot of other things easier for me, like cutting out bread and reducing dairy. I find I am so full after a green smoothie at Breakfast or a salad with Beans for lunch that I am not as hungry at dinner, and don't feel the need to snack as much. When I do snack, I've bought raw or dry roasted nuts to replace the junk I used to buy. I've lost about 16 pounds in 4 months, and unlike in the past when I've "dieted," I don't really feel like I'm missing out. Plus, I make exceptions a couple times per month and don't feel guilty about it. By focusing on the health aspects and not tracking the calories, it really helped me make changes that promote a healthier weight without feeling overburdened or deprived. I hope that helps!

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This is exactly how I used to think about dieting. I was punishing myself for gaining weight. I was missing out on my favourite foods or on what others may be eating when socialising. ‘Diet’ had so many negative connotations to me. So I don’t use the word any more. This is simply the way I eat. It took a while to change my thinking but it did/does help a lot. There are foods I simply don’t eat or eat very rarely now that I loved to eat before. Do I miss them? Not really. Do I feel I‘m missing out? Nope.

You may find it easier to make small changes to your eating & food choices instead of jumping into a full ‘diet’. Small wins are still wins. Change one or two things each week like reduce your portion sizes & increase your Fluid intake (64ozs). Increase your Protein intake. Stretch out the times between your snacking, or reduce how many Snacks you have each day. And so on until you have adopted the recommendations from your surgeon/dietician. And be honest about your struggles with them & tell them what you are doing to incorporate their weight loss plan. They may have other suggestions on what you can do too.

All the best.

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A very friendly lady doctor once told me eat 10 different vegetables a day instead of the recommended 5. I put this in place by eating a homemade veg Soup or a vegetable salad for lunch. This Meal Replacement was very low in calories and super filling. I could eat a thoughtful meal with my family in the evening and a low cal. snack later in the evening, like jelly and yogurt or the porridge I swopped it for at Breakfast.

Of course the weight didn't stay off but I did loose lots until I went on holiday and broke out and went back to my old ways. I didnt feel like I was on much of a diet because I love salad and veg

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On 11/24/2023 at 2:26 PM, Theia103121 said:

Hi! I'm at the beginning of the process for the gastric sleeve. At the beginning because I have yet to lose any of the weight I have to for the surgery. When I decided to have the surgery, I started tracking my food and I lost about 6 lbs...then as soon as the process started and it became a "have-to" thing, I started having a super hard time sticking to the diet. That, and I hit a bout of depression which makes it really, really hard to control sugar cravings.

I'm in therapy for other reasons, but I don't have an appointment with their therapist until January. I'm having enough trouble sticking with the diet that I'm beginning to wonder if I'm going to be able to do this. I feel so resentful that I have to diet. I know, I know, it's "not a diet, it's a lifestyle change". It's a diet. I have to give up most of my favorite foods for most of the time, and when I do have them I can barely have anything. I call that a diet. I know it's my fault and I got myself here, but that doesn't help, it just makes the whole thing feel more like a punishment. Did anyone else struggle with any of this? How did you overcome this thinking?

Dont beat up on your self, this is my second time around , meaning my first attempt at surgery was halted no fault of my own just a unknown issue situs inversus, so ive been on this journey for a little over a year, went back to my 9old habits quickly, but gets better, im on my pre op diet and had a slip up nothing outrageous so just keep pushing forward i too had the second thoughts even with a week until my surgery, but i think of the health benefits in the end.

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