Hi all, thank you for your patience and great advice as I navigate all this. My family has been great, just celebrated my 60th birthday with a final “food funeral” of my favorite dinner and pie. I’ve been getting a lot of “Why now?” questions, sure wish I had done this earlier but had a job I didn’t think I could juggle with the aftercare. I thought maybe it’d be interesting to share what moment tipped you over into making the decision to do this.

Mine: Medical issues + multiple embarrassments through the years, but the final straw was a few months ago. I bought us concert tickets for a musician my husband loves but is seldom within driving distance. Beautiful day, beautiful venue… but the seats. Started the first half of the concert immensely aware the man sitting on my opposite side was bear-hugging himself to keep from touching my overflow. He didn’t come back (or rejected different seating) the second half. Utterly mortifying.

Edited July 20, 20233 yr by GrannyMaggie
Typo

i was at a pool party and i couldn't put sunscreen on my feet without doing some sort of backwards bending while sitting on stairs.

i happened to look up and notice people looking at me with what looked (to me) like pity.

i scheduled my surgery the following month AND finally went through with it (after backing out twice previously)!

best decision ever.

30 minutes ago, ms.sss said:

i was at a pool party and i couldn't put sunscreen on my feet without doing some sort of backwards bending while sitting on stairs.

i happened to look up and notice people looking at me with what looked (to me) like pity.

i scheduled my surgery the following month AND finally went through with it (after backing out twice previously)!

best decision ever.

Just had my bypass Monday- looking fwd to never having moments like these again.

A lot of things played into it, but honestly, it was when the doctor asked me if I would be interested in it.

For background, I'm turning 50 next year, so yes, that milestone is in my head as part of it. My younger brother had VSG 15 years ago, and ever since then, I wished I could do it because he had such a great outcome. But at the time my BMI was 34, so I didn't qualify, even with high blood pressure. As my weight increased, my doctor referred me to the hospital's weight loss center. They started me on a non-surgical program, and it worked a bit for a while. And then it didn't, and I gained everything back plus some. I even tried Wegovy for a while, but I could never get it long enough to see if it would work because of the shortages, plus the discounts dried up and the out of pocket was crazy.

But this past summer, my weight peaked at the highest it had ever been, tied with the day I left the hospital after delivering my second child. My BMI had reached 40. My body ached, my feet ached. I was bloated all the time. Nothing fit. My heart kept doing a worrying fluttery thing. I had to increase my blood pressure medication. With the pandemic, I had stopped going to the weight management center. My doctor told me to go back. This time, they asked if I would be interested in considering surgery, and I jumped at the chance. It was like the second the question was asked, I knew it was time.

If they'd asked earlier, I probably would've done it then. But for such a long time I didn't qualify, and then I probably did but everyone seemed to think I should still keep trying on my own. When I found out my out of pocket costs would only be around $3k, I nearly fainted. I assumed it would be so expensive. My brother was self-pay and it was 10k. Instead, it's the same as two months of Wegovy! Now I'm just counting the weeks until my Dec 27th surgery date.

42 minutes ago, NickelChip said:

A lot of things played into it, but honestly, it was when the doctor asked me if I would be interested in it.

For background, I'm turning 50 next year, so yes, that milestone is in my head as part of it. My younger brother had VSG 15 years ago, and ever since then, I wished I could do it because he had such a great outcome. But at the time my BMI was 34, so I didn't qualify, even with high blood pressure. As my weight increased, my doctor referred me to the hospital's weight loss center. They started me on a non-surgical program, and it worked a bit for a while. And then it didn't, and I gained everything back plus some. I even tried Wegovy for a while, but I could never get it long enough to see if it would work because of the shortages, plus the discounts dried up and the out of pocket was crazy.

But this past summer, my weight peaked at the highest it had ever been, tied with the day I left the hospital after delivering my second child. My BMI had reached 40. My body ached, my feet ached. I was bloated all the time. Nothing fit. My heart kept doing a worrying fluttery thing. I had to increase my blood pressure medication. With the pandemic, I had stopped going to the weight management center. My doctor told me to go back. This time, they asked if I would be interested in considering surgery, and I jumped at the chance. It was like the second the question was asked, I knew it was time.

If they'd asked earlier, I probably would've done it then. But for such a long time I didn't qualify, and then I probably did but everyone seemed to think I should still keep trying on my own. When I found out my out of pocket costs would only be around $3k, I nearly fainted. I assumed it would be so expensive. My brother was self-pay and it was 10k. Instead, it's the same as two months of Wegovy! Now I'm just counting the weeks until my Dec 27th surgery date.

I am so happy for you! The fact your brother has already had it should be a huge plus, both knowing what to expect and knowing you’ll have a support system. Wishing you the very best!

My moment is when my knees and feet were hurting just getting out bed, and not having the energy to play with my children who are 6yrs old and 18m- even when they ask I gas out too quick. I want to be able to coach my kids sports; I was athletic played all through HS and in shape then after having kids just let myself go. I am embarrassed for my husband because he deserves a wife that loves herself enough to take care of herself. He has never been negative and was shocked that I wanted to go this route because he doesn't think that I need to, but he doesn't have weight issues. I want to get back in shape lose some weight and be there for my kids and husband! Plus it never hurts to look and feel good!

Mine was when I had to have a CPAP machine to help me sleep. I was falling asleep all the time, in 5 minute car rides, in the movies, in the middle of the museum in the planetarium. I also saw the pictures of myself with my little cousins and wanting to play with them but not having the energy. I want kids, it’s been my life dream and I don’t want to be someone who pushes my problems on them. Plus two of my aunts had this surgery and I saw the differences in their attitudes, energy, confidence, etc.

Two major ones for me stand out…

First - I was on an insulin pump because my diabetes was so bad (was 274 lb at the time)

Second - I went to ride a rollercoaster with my kid and a couple of his friends, could not fit in the over the shoulder to buckle the belt. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I can say the guy was a bigger guy and was trying to make it better by saying “oh it happens all the time, these seats are weird” but it was mortifying. And I told myself I wasn’t doing that ever again.

Sleeved in 2020, about to have a revision for severe acid reflux and I’ve never looked back.

My final FINAL moments were last year. I saw a photo of myself at Thanksgiving, and I resembled a potato. I was round, just like a circle. At that time, when I would sit down, I noticed that the way that my stomach would land on my thighs was only about 5 inches from my knees.

I had the distinct thought that the weight gain was going to continue unabated if I did not make a radical life change.

First appointment was almost one year ago, and *everything* is SO much better.

My moment just happened. I have a recurrent abdominal hernia. The general surgeon I met with initially really pounded it in my head that my weight was causing this problem. He ended up referring me to a bariatric specialist surgeon who I see on the 16th after a CT scan of my hernia tonight. That visit will determine how they are going to treat me - surgery to repair the hernia and mesh first or push for WLS.

I've been researching like crazy and I'm starting to dream of a life where I'm not diabetic, I don't have sleep apnea and I can go to the thrift store and buy clothes again.

I think my moment was when I realised my behaviour had changed. I'd stopped going outside, stopped socialising, was no longer posting selfies (which I am a great lover of doing haha), and I no longer felt comfortable wearing anything other then leggings and a long top. It was as if I had just given up. Once I tapped into this feeling, I realised that I no longer connect with my body as it is, I feel disassociated from it. I then made the decision to get my surgery booked in for this year!

I have several things that come to mind on what was the last straw, but for me it was when my family visited and I was the only fat person there. My entire family is thin. Combine that with my thin husband..I felt like those old movies where you see the huge fat loud mouth wife (lol no I'm not that bad - looks around to see if husband is watching me type) with the small husband.. Everywhere we went I hated I was bigger than my husband (he eats tons and anything he wants - but due to his job he walks 12 miles - 6 days a week) so he remains thin.

Add to the above; people would look at me then my grocery cart when shopping...then judge..and even say things even though 99.9% of the cookies, kids cereal, ice cream etc were for my husband. They never saw my cottage cheese, salads etc., just zeroed in on the garbage. I had one person tell me "no wonder you're fat" looking into my cart. Needless to say my smart ass came out..i said I can lose weight..you'll always be a rude ass**** who obviously has a "small penis" complex feeling the need to insult others to feel better about his small Insecurity package. One of the larger straws that pushed me to have surgery. I never told my husband out of total embarrassment.. Until recently.

Edited January 16, 20242 yr by BlondePatriotInCDA

I had a very bad ankle injury in 2022 which reduced my mobility and I wasn't able to workout much or move because of the pain. I felt my weight creeping up because I was buying XL clothes and everything was still very tight (I had already put on 30 lbs the past few years so I was already heavier than I ever was) but I never weighed myself (my biggest mistake) so I had no idea how much heavier I was?

I started entertaining the idea of WLS because nothing else worked (dieting, working out, even liraglutide) - mind you this was not even on my mind before - and saw the surgeon on Feb 2023 to see if he would even do it, and he said he would and that he recommended VSG for my case. Had a chat and decided I will put it on hold because I wasn't mentally ready.

Fast forward to summer 2023 and we were travelling, we were in a water park and my 8 year old and I decided to go for a ride and I was panting going up the stairs to the big slide. While we queued the staff asked us to step on the weighing scale to see if we're under the weight threshold and I really didn't want to be weighed, my heart was pounding and my palms were sweating and once my daughter and I stepped on the scale the staff goes: "you're almost beyond the threshold but I'll let you go" and it was as if a slap was delivered across my face. I did the math in my head and realized that I have reached a weight I never ever saw even while pregnant (funnily I barely gained any weight in both my pregnancies and snapped right back).

I came back from my holiday and booked my surgery for December. Best decision of my life.

It was a mix of everything for me - holiday last year where I could barely move due to ridiculous pains in my knees that wouldn’t stop. I thought it was a Rheumatoid Arthritis flare initially but nope, just Osteoarthritis because I’m fat. I was so miserable. The holiday was ruined and hubby was really worried. Had physio and steroid injections when we got back home but nothing worked. I was 55 but felt 85. It felt like I had nothing to look forward to, life seemed very small as I didn’t leave the house. Pain is constant, nothing touches it, sleep is continually disturbed and I just felt unhappy generally. I wasn’t depressed but it was a very fine line I was walking, and I knew it wouldn’t take much to tip me over into depression.

I’ve always been able to see the positives in pretty much any situation but I couldn’t this time. Hubby has his own mobility problems due to nerve damage in his lower back from an op that went wrong, and all that kept going through my head was how were we going to manage with everything? I was the one who had kept everything ticking over but I couldn’t do it anymore. I hated my body, never let hubby see me naked, couldn’t play with my granddaughter, clothes were chosen just because they fit not because I actually liked them etc etc.

I spoke to a female GP about HRT as I had just started it but had to change how I took it because of my weight. I was having a major panic because HRT was the only thing stopping me from acting like a crazed homicidal manic! My GP was fantastic, I actually felt listened to for the first time. It was then that I asked about what I could so about my weight as I’d had enough and nothing was working. Every time I dieted, I put it all back plus more. I’d had Orlistat that didn’t work and had looked at the jabs but couldn’t afford £250 a month. My GP didn’t hesitate and talked me through my options, saying she would support me. She referred me that week and, after a bit of hoop-jumping, I’m now on the WLS pathway. I already feel better about things and I’m excited for the future ?

Mine came after an open conversation with my sleep doctor of all people. I was seeing him because I was getting set up with a CPAP machine due to my sleep apnea. In addition to my sleep apnea I had developed several other obesity-related health conditions including pre-diabetes, chronic pain in my knees and back, some minor heart issues and the worst of all, scrotal lymphedema (I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy). My doctor pointed out that losing weight would help all of those issues and he added that his mother was quite heavy and was dealing with a lot of health issues and that the sooner I could lose weight, the better my long-term health would be, and he recommended I look into bariatric surgery.

That was the first time the idea had even crossed my mind. I did some research on it, but found out my insurance wouldn't cover it and it would be around $20,000 to pay for it out of pocket. But 3 years later I started a new job and got on their insurance, and it covered the surgery, so I began the process at that point.

On 7/20/2023 at 8:15 PM, KathyLev said:

My "moment of awakening" was when I started to sweat so bad. I went to a dermatologist who gave me pills to dry up my sweat, but it dried up my whole body (mouth,eyes ) and I was still sweating. I went to see my family doctor and she sent me to a bunch of specialists & I went through tons of tests and everything came out normal. I just had to face the hard truth that it HAD to be my weight. I was scared to tell my husband that I wanted the surgery , but I got up the nerve and was pleasantly surprised to see how supportive he was. We've been married for 50 years ... hopefully now I'lll be married AND healthy for many more

Congratulations on your weight loss. I hope your sweating issue has resolved with your being closer to goal. I have question though? Do you recall the name of the rx your dermatologist gave you for sweating? I have a similar issue which I know is exacerbated by my weight but even when I lost weight with the sleeve it was still an issue. It’s horrible to live with. I have seen every specialist and had every test I can think of. My dermatologist gave me oxybutwnin which was great for my bladder but did nothing for the sweating. I would be thrilled to know that thete is another option.